I couldn't sleep, and things happened. Trying to warm up writing Mondler again ;) I wanted to post it directly after writing it, so here goes. This is set somewhere in early season 5, I had no specific moment in mind, but I guess right before Joey finds out.

Chandler can't resist and kisses Monica's forehead one more time. She barely moves in her sleep, but a small smile tugs at her lips. Chandler answers it without even thinking, even if she can't see him. This is what his life is like, now. Falling asleep after a great round of sex with Monica. Well, that's not all they do. Sometimes, they just talk and laugh. After having sex. Okay, they can't keep their hands off each other, but how can they, when they're finally in a bed, away from the others' eyes? They already spend their day talking and laughing together. And Chandler quite enjoys the sex part, to be honest.

He wouldn't change it for the world. Not just the sex!

He has never felt so intimate with a woman before. He's had sex before, of course, he has given orals, received them too, it's nothing he's never done. And yet, it is. He's never done it with someone he cared so much as he does Monica. She's not just a stunningly beautiful woman that he is very deeply attracted to. She's Monica, she's her best friend, she has been for so many years that he can't even remember a time she wasn't in his life. He can't remember a morning he hasn't spent at her place, eating her food away without an inch of hesitation, along with Joey. And now, he's more than that. More than the best friend that raids her fridge. He gets to spend most nights with her, watching her fall asleep, and waking up to her beautiful face. Because even in the morning, she's beautiful. Sure, her hair looks messy, but it can't be worse than his own, and she's always the most pleasant sight to have in the morning.

If he weren't so deadly afraid of what the words could do to them, he would tell her how much he loves her, how much he wants to spend all his time with her, even more than now, how much he wants her to be happy, with him, how much happier he himself feels since that fateful and blessed night in London. When her lips touched his. It took one kiss for him to realize that he will never be able to be her friend Chandler anymore. Even if they had found lame excuses, for what they had done, then to keep doing it, he had known from the very beginning that he wanted to taste her lips again. He wanted to feel her body under his, over his, around him. He wanted to stare in those deep blue eyes as he entered her. He wanted to feel the intensity between them when they had looked at each other in the eyes while they both had climaxed, and the feeling of finally being at home.

And, for some crazy reason, he can, still to this day, do all these things. For some crazy reason that Chandler cannot explain, Monica is still here. She is sleeping in his arms, and it feels incredibly right.

There is always that fear, deep down, that their magic bubble will pop, that Monica will wake up and realize that he is, after all, Chandler. He is worried that the magic bubble will just be that: an ephemeral period of time during which he and Monica had the most amazing sex ever and shared some deep connection that they can't explain. He is afraid she will realize that she can do so, so much better than him. Everyone knows he has this fear. Well, in the imaginary discussion he has with the group to reassure himself with their voices in his head – he is not crazy – they know that, and they always find words to subdue his worries.

And, sometimes, he looks at Monica, like now, all vulnerable and wishing he could know for sure that she will stay with him. Settle for me, he whispers, watching her back rise and fall as she calmly breathes against his chest. He wanted to think it rather than say it aloud, but it just has to be out, even if whispered to her during her sleep. At least he voiced his wish. Because if he definitely thinks that he's not enough for Monica, he just hopes she will still want to be with him, to have lower expectations, and settle for him.

Now that it's out of his system, he can return to peacefully staring at Monica sleeping and her beautiful face, and beautiful lips, and beautiful hair, and beautiful hands and—Chandler realizes just how desperately in love he is with Monica, when he looks at her sleep at night. He always does so. She falls asleep before him, most of the times, and he takes those few quiet minutes to simply take in her beauty, without interruption, and think about them. About what they are, and what he wants them to become. He's not thinking about kids and marriage and promises to always be there for each other, but he always wishes that this will continue. He doesn't dare to think forever, but maybe he wants to think it. Maybe he likes the sound of that.

When he closes his eyes, it's with a newfound calm. Whether it will continue, he doesn't know, or for how long it will, or if she will realize that she can do better, or if he slips and makes a mistake that he can't repair... He doesn't know but, falling asleep with Monica in his arms like this, he doesn't really care anymore.

He'll see. They will see, together.

Chandler has never felt so happy as he does now.