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chapter one - hell sent me down
:-:-: theme; used to the darkness by des rocs :-:-:

He's not afraid of death. It's clear in his actions that he could care less about the fickle thing. His eyes do not look for vehicles when he crosses busy streets; walking alone in the desolate dark doesn't make the hair on the back of his neck rise.

The biggest tell to his lack of fear —the reason his parents abandoned him at a church perhaps— showed itself one night when he was ten years old.

It was a home invasion gone wrong. The stranger that broke in was caught by his father, but not before he was taken as a hostage. A gun was pointed at his head while his parents could do nothing more than watch in fear.

"Griffyth, don't move!" His mother had cried to him.

Thinking back on it, he wants to laugh. He hadn't even been shaking— stupid woman.

He stared up unblinkingly at the person who held his life in their hands and asked a very simple question. Despite its simplicity, it shook his parents to the core. Even the stranger, suddenly losing his fearless bravado, froze up in shock.

"What are you waiting for? Shoot me, fucker."

xxx

Griffyth was raised by the priest his parents had left him with for five years.

Those years were lived in normalcy, with his "demonic side" never making an appearance. He played the part of a quiet boy who was devoted to his religious studies. The members of the church adored and doted on him, while the priest regarded him with fatherly pride.

In the background, Griffyth was planning out what would become of him after this tedious part of his life was finished. At fifteen, Griffyth began earning a monthly allowance by performing menial tasks around the church. He saved for his future, but mostly his freedom.

It was almost too easy; easy enough for Griffyth to be disappointed with the results, despite them being exactly what he wanted.

Antifreeze in the priest's coffee (Griffyth was always kind enough to make it for him) is what did it.

On the first day, Griffyth closed the church on account of the priest's poor health. The members were convinced to continue services at one of their chosen houses instead. The teenager told them that he'd call them as soon as the priest was well enough to resume his work.

A week later, the tragedy of the priest's death was known throughout the religious community. They ruled it as "kidney failure", but Griffyth didn't really care for the label. If anything, he felt a little insulted.

The members of the church were split in the middle with their feelings about the priest's death. Some blamed Griffyth for not contacting emergency services sooner, while others pitied him for having to lose his "father figure" and for also having to witness his death.

He didn't care what they thought. Either way, he was gone before the funeral was held― disappearing into the night with his belongings and stolen church offerings.

It was time for his real life to begin and for this boring prologue to end.

"You're so fat," a little boy says with wonder. He stares at his mother's enlarged stomach, confused as to when it managed to grow so big without his noticing. Then again, a lot of things could get past a five-year-old.

"Dumbass," the woman fusses, smacking the child on the back of his head. "Is that something you should say to a woman?!"

Hissing in pain, the boy rubs his head as he glares up into his mother's brown eyes. Clicking his tongue, he huffs, "I was just sayin'! Don't need ta be such a bitch!"

Smack.

"Watch your mouth, Hidan!" His mother sneers at him one more time before she leaves the room. He glares after her, his middle finger following her retreating back. "I'm going to work! Make sure you eat dinner— or not, I don't fucking care."

The door slams shut, leaving the five-year-old by himself. Hidan growls to himself, kicking at the dirty wooden floor of his rundown home.

"I hate that dumb whore, I hope she never comes back—"

"Hidan!" The front door is thrown open, scaring the absolute shit out of the gray-haired boy. His mother stumbles through the doorway, liquid rolling down her legs and past the extremely short dress her profession required her to wear.

"Damn it, why are you here?!" Hidan asks, unfazed by his mother's disheveled state.

"I'm about to give birth! Go get help you useless brat!"

"Fine," He huffs and rushes past her, "but I'm not happy about it!"

xxx

"Wow… He's ugly."

Those aren't the words I wanted to hear upon waking up again, but I guess once you get pelted by a ton of bullets― your looks take a hit.

I open my eyes to take a look at my surroundings and the overall damage. I'm surprised that I can't feel a cuff attached to my hand… or anything else really. All I feel is the brisk and stuffy air that means summer― and the itchy, wool blanket that's wrapped around my… naked.. body?

My vision is unfocused, not helping to answer the million questions in my head. I can only make out two people in the room, but I know there's at least one other person because they're.. holding.. me?

More questions, and still no answers. Except, maybe one.

That crazy priest's rantings will finally be useful for once. I remember him and his little cult-like family talking about reincarnation and the like. How such a fate could be more painful than hell, or more special than heaven.

If I had to guess, this is supposed to be a punishment. I was far from a good person in my "previous life" ―as I should probably call it. Unless you consider serial killers to be god's blessing, that is.

"Looks just like you then." The feminine voice comes from the person holding me. I feel her chest vibrate beneath my head as she speaks. Her insult is met with an annoyed 'hey' but she ignores it pointedly as she redirects her attention to the other figure in the room. "What's the damage, Saeko? How long before I can go back to the brothel?"

'Saeko is a Japanese name as far as I know, and now that I think about it… They've been speaking in that language and I completely understand it.'

While that is cool, I try to recall my previous language: English.

'What's the word for red, or apple, or death, or I am completely fucked.'

I can't remember a single word. Very disheartening, but my positive side has me agreeing that i's for the best. Having two languages in my brain would probably result in me occasionally and unknowingly switching between the two when I talk.

'And brothel…? So my mother is one of those tools, huh. Ironic.'

Prostitutes were a high kill count for me. I didn't care about their profession, so much as the fact they would throw themselves at me. It's their job to lure in customers, but to approach a clearly underage boy? I was doing the world a favor by eliminating those pedophile trash bags.

At fifteen, life on the streets was hard, but people like that only made it harder and urged my blood lust to grow. By the time I was of legal age, I was rarely approached by their ilk anymore. Word must have gone around that I was an "unlucky charm" because every woman that approached me, seemed to disappear a few days later. Odd, really.

This Saeko person brings me back to my new reality, speaking to my mother in a clipped tone. "You disgust me, Maemi. You just gave birth—" She stops, seeming to decide that yelling at a stubborn mule wasn't going to get her anywhere. Sighing, she continues, "Six weeks for your body to adjust and return to normal."

Maemi clicks her tongue and I can feel her eyes burning a hole through my body. "You damn brats ruin everything."

The young voice I heard before is quick to throw a fuss at her remark, "Shut up, whore!"

Smack.

"Don't you dare call me that, bastard!"

"You're the one who keeps getting knocked up—"

"I think it's time for me to take my leave," comes the tired voice of Saeko. I almost want to reach out for her and cry until she takes me with her. These people are damn noisy. "Maemi, you better take care of them. I know you hate kids, but you made your bed a long time ago; it's about time you lie in it."

With that, the older woman is gone and I'm left alone with my… new family? I guess.

"Finally, that nag is gone!" Maemi falls back roughly in her bed, jostling me. I unconsciously sob in protest, reminding her of my presence, "Oh yeah, this thing still exists." Without even taking a second to think about it, the woman shoves me into who I assume is my new sibling's arms. "Hidan, take care of your brother."

"What the—!?" Hidan exclaims as he struggles to get ahold of me. "Bitch, you can't—" He tries to protest, but our mother has already rolled over and fallen asleep. Hidan grumbles, glaring at the figure before finally moving to a different part of the house. I assume it's his room, as he seems to be sitting on a bed.

I can blearily see his face gazing down at me as he holds me in his lap. I'm unsure of his facial expression, but his voice doesn't sound hostile for once, so I assume he's not thinking about killing me.

"I guess you're my problem now."

'Great. My life is in the hands of a five-year-old.'

For a long time, I wasn't able to see things clearly. It was a hindrance more than anything, as I was already bored out of my mind just being a baby, but I couldn't even take in my surroundings in the meantime.

Due to this, the world I was born into remained a mystery. It seemed old fashioned, but with a touch of modern-ness here and there. All these theories were going from what I could hear and feel from my surroundings (the buzzing of a fridge, and yet we still sleep on these itchy grass-filled pallets).

So, for a few months, I was without sight and could only rely on sound. A part of me hoped this would help my hearing for the better, but that was also on the level of an infants'. In short, being a baby was pure hell and a huge waste of my time.

I thought I would be able to get ahead in life since my previous memories were intact, but my physical body betrays me, forcing me to suffer in… Well, not silence. I cry whenever I can, mainly to just gain someone's attention due to boredom, but also because I know my mother hates it when I cry.

Sometimes, tormenting her has its disadvantages, though…

"Shut up!" Maemi stomps into the room that Hidan and I share. "I'm trying to sleep you stupid rat!"

Unfortunately, my brother isn't here to protect me from the harsh smack Maemi delivers to my helpless form. My crying only worsens, much to the woman's dismay. She prepares to hit me again, a growl in her throat—

"What the fuck!?" Hidan yells, running into the room and throwing the bags in his hands at Maemi. She flinches back in surprise, giving Hidan enough time to capture me in his arms. "I know he can be annoyin'... But you can't hit him!"

My crying slowly dies down as my brother cradles me, facing off our demon of a mother. Meanwhile, my eyes meet Maemi's brown ones, and if a baby could smirk— you know I would be doing that right now.

The gray-haired woman spits at us, marching out of our room and returning to her own while muttering "damn brats" beneath her breath.

Hidan sniffs, and I look up to see tears in his eyes as he stares at the spot where our mother had once been. He sits down on our bed, holding me tighter. "I hate her so much… That stupid bitch, I hate her…"

All I can do is let him hold me, my tiny body preventing me from doing much more than gurgle my agreement.

A year goes by in this new world, and I turn one without too much fanfare.

Hidan, now six, is the one who's practically been raising me. He's only a child, so I don't expect much. If it wasn't for my developed brain, I'd probably be dead— Hidan tends to forget I need things like baths, and food.

Our mother had tried to take care of me, but after I threw a tantrum whenever she attempted to touch me, she eventually gave up. It's not my fault that she genuinely disgusts me. Being touched by her (just the thought) made me want to puke. Maemi's beatings never stopped, but they weren't frequent due to Hidan keeping me by his side whenever he could. The kid was definitely starting to grow on me, which said something, as children usually irritate the shit out of me.

Hidan teaches me many things, but I'm the one to teach him how to talk. Being six, he already knows most of the language, but only as much as a typical child. Since I miraculously know Japanese, I am Hidan's only hope if he wants to expand his vocabulary beyond swear words.

When Hidan isn't home, I assume he's at school. If this world even has those… All I know for sure is that he leaves early in the mornings, only to come back in the afternoons. As soon as he walks through the door (he says it every time; even though no one ever replies) he says, "I'm back from the Academy."

Either way, he's gone, and I'm left alone with Maemi— who thankfully sleeps most of the day, due to working generally at night.

It's not until I'm two, that I start to speak in front of other people. Before then, I only spoke to Hidan. I knew it'd be weird for a one-year-old to speak fluent Japanese (albeit in a baby voice), but Hidan was young enough to not question it.

Life goes on, but of course it's anything but ordinary or peaceful. Something always seems to happen every day, and today was no exception.

"Okaa-san is fat again," Hidan randomly whispers to me.

We're in our shared room, looking through the only book we own: a picture book that is more or less falling apart, but for now it is our only form of entertainment. I have yet to leave our house, being more or less "grounded" by Maemi, who said she doesn't want me running around until she knows I won't cause any trouble with the neighbors.

"Fat…" I repeat, looking at the gray-haired boy as if he's stupid.

Hidan's purple eyes narrow, seeing the look for what it is. "Yeah, she's fat again!"

"You mean pregnant."

I had noticed the gray-haired woman's growing stomach several months ago, but now it is really noticeable. Of course, considering my past in medicine, I was also able to pick up on the symptoms she was showing: vomiting, moodiness, bloating… The big sign was when I heard Maemi in the bathroom one night; "Fuck, I better not be pregnant again."

My brother gives me a look of disgust, "No, not another one!"

I sigh, also feeling a bit hopeless, "Yeah…"

"I told her ta stop this shit! She don't even want us, so why does she— Why does she keep doin' this!?" Hidan is beginning to get so frustrated that tears are building up in his eyes.

I watch with somber eyes before wordlessly opening my arms. Hidan wastes no time, grabbing onto my body and squeezing the life out of me.

Coughing, I squirm in Hidan's hold until he finally loosens it a little. Burrowing into my neck, he sniffs. "I'm glad she had you though, Kaoru. You're the best brother ever! I- I'd probably go crazy if I was stuck with that bitch forever, all by myself…"

'Honestly, you'd probably be dead.'

I cling back to Hidan, resting against the bed and closing my olive green eyes; his rants usually end with him falling asleep, and I am nowhere near strong enough to roll the seven-year-old off of me.

"No matter what," I say quietly, trying to find words that might comfort the kid. "We'll love the baby anyway. It's not their fault."

Hidan nods, but says nothing else.

xxx

Maemi's pregnancy goes into the next year, bypassing Hidan's eighth birthday. I'm the only one to remember it, handing over a poorly drawn picture of both him and I smiling while we hold hands.

The boy loves it, sniffing harshly with a frown on his face and trembling lips before he pulls me into a hug. Hidan cries a lot, but I'm not surprised. He's an emotional kid, more so than most kids his age.

"Let me show you what we learned today!" Hidan says one day, excited (for once) about his day at the Academy. Usually he comes home in a bad mood, ranting about a fight he got in or how stupid a classmate was. It isn't the first time he has taught me something, but each time the little lessons leave me more confused.

Hidan would show me the books they were given about ninjutsu (magical spells, essentially), taijutsu (some form of martial arts), kunai and shuriken (they're learning weapon-handling, what the fuck), and the thing that leaves me the most dumbfounded… chakra.

Chakra is apparently something everyone has in this world. It is as natural as blood in our veins, or the oxygen that we breath. Still doesn't mean I took to it well at first. I was very sceptical and non-believing, even after Hidan showed me his book as proof.

I had asked, "Why can't I feel it then?"

Hidan had looked puzzled before declaring, "Because you haven't activated it yet! You're still a baby, dumbass!"

After calling me a dumbass, Hidan explained the chakra pathways to me some more, and had deduced that since I hadn't even tried to touch my chakra, that it was dormant inside my body until I decided to train with it. Of course, Hidan's explanation contained fewer big words and odd analogies, but I got the point he was making.

"What'd you learn?" I ask, turning my attention away my drawing. It is of Maemi's blood-soaked corpse, while Hidan and I hold hands off to the side with shark-toothed grins on our faces. I'm sure the gray-haired woman will love to find this on her pillow when she gets home.

"Chakra exercises!" Hidan practically screams, yanking out a crumpled paper from his school bag. "Sensei has just been yappin' about chakra, but now we actually get to do somethin' with it!"

I gingerly take the paper from his hands, and though I can't read some of the words, I understand the basic gist… Oh, and the picture demonstrations help. The list is, essentially, a guide to a few basic chakra exercises. On the top, in bold print, it reads: USE WITH QUALIFIED SUPERVISION.

I raise an eyebrow, and show the words to Hidan. "You gonna get Maemi to help?"

"Who?" I frown, gesturing to Maemi's room, "Oh, Okaa-san? No fucking way! She wouldn't help anyway, the dumb bitch. Plus, she's not even a ninja— she's not quwafled or whatever."

"Qualified," I correct "What do you mean, she's not a ninja…? Why does that matter?"

"Kaoru, you're sounding really fucking dumb, right now."

Getting a little irritated, I glare. "Tell me."

With a roll of his eyes, Hidan begins to explain everything to me. He acts like all of this information is obvious, but the idiot must have forgotten that I haven't left this house in the two years that I've been here. Of course I have no idea what the world outside it is like, and no one has bothered to educate me in it either!

"...and the highest level is the Kage— they're the ones that lead the village. We don't have one though, since we're not one of the Great Shinobi Whatevers. So we just have a head ninja..." Hidan finishes his lesson with a heavy sigh. "That all? Any questions?"

I slowly shake my head, half my mind still reeling at the information he has given me.

Apparently, this world is inhabited by magic-wielding ninja warriors. Not the cliche ninjas that creep around in a black wardrobe, but sneakier ones who could decapitate you with a water spell. I don't know whether to be scared at the thought of powerful opponents lurking around every corner, or excited at the prospect of becoming one of those powerful people.

The choice is easy in the end.

"Hey, nii-san…" I say, adding on the honorific to butter Hidan up, "Can you teach me ninja stuff, too?"

Hidan beams, nodding his head rapidly. "Fuck yeah, otōto!" He then jumps up and runs to our room, only to come back a few seconds later with a bunch of supplies in his arms. "First, let's start with somethin' easy. You're so fuckin' tiny..."

I smile the whole time, listening intently to Hidan as he shows me all the things he has learned at the Academy so far.

After a couple weeks of lessons, I have a basic understanding of how chakra works, as well as the explanation of the "basic three jutsu" students have to master if they want to graduate. Other than that, Hidan also shows me some stretches to help develop my flexibility. Soon, he says that he'll teach me actual katas. When I asked about weapons, Hidan was quick to say no.

"You're just a baby; you could get hurt or somethin'! Leave that stuff to me, got it?" He had practically lectured. It seems he is taking his role as a big brother extremely seriously. His protectiveness is smothering, but useful all the same. I am too weak to defend myself right now, so I need someone to do that for me. Hidan is that person.

Another event that takes place two weeks later, is the birth of Hidan and I's new sibling.

"Get Saeko! Fuck, get Saeko!" Maemi's voice screams from her bedroom, startling Hidan and I from our lesson.

"Shit!" Hidan says, running out the front door without even seeing why we need to get this "Saeko" person. I watch Hidan leave, then slowly walk to Maemi's room to see what the problem is. The moment the woman sees my head peer in, however, a pillow is thrown at my face.

Not having honed reflexes, it hits her target and I fall backwards from the force.

"Get the fuck out, brat! Get Saeko— I'm fucking— I'm fucking giving birth!"

Finding her yells annoying, and more than a little pissed that she nailed me with a pillow, I shut her bedroom door and return to my original spot in the living room.

As soon as I sit down, the front door is pushed open violently. A woman runs into the house, running straight towards Maemi's bedroom.

'Must be Saeko.' I look back to the entrance as Hidan walks in. He's panting, leaning over with hands on his knees as he tries to catch his breath.

"She's giving birth," I supply.

"I know…" Hidan sighs heavily as he sits down beside me. "This happened when you were born, too. Not exactly, but Okaa-san was loud as fuck and told me to get help. Saeko is the only civilian doctor that will help people like Okaa-san. Everyone else says she's too disgusting to save."

I want to refute his statement to maybe make him feel better, but Maemi is truly a disgusting person. Not because of her profession, like everyone else in the village probably judges her for, but simply because she abuses children. Her own children. So, I decide to stay silent.

A few hours later, Saeko finally slips out of Maemi's bedroom. Hidan is the first to jump up, rushing forward to try and enter the room. Saeko catches him and pushes him back, quickly shutting the door behind her.

"What's your deal, lady!?" Hidan fusses, glaring up at the woman.

I stand up, silently observing Saeko before making my way over to them. She looks tired and sweaty. Blood is all over her clothes and hands. When she grabbed Hidan, some of it got on him as well, but it doesn't look like he has noticed.

That's a little worrying, but aren't all births a little messy? The most startling thing isn't even all the blood. It's the noise, or lack of thereof.

It is… silent.

No wailing screams of a newborn, or grouchy remarks from Maemi.

There's nothing. Nothing but the sound of Hidan screaming at Saeko to let him in Maemi's room— to let him see her and his new sibling.

Saeko won't let him though, her expression full of pity as she tries to calm him down. "Hidan, please— You need to listen to me."

"No, what the hell! J-Just let me in—"

Smack!

"Listen to me!" Saeko yells, her voice no longer calm. Hidan watches her, eyes wide in shock. His left cheek is a deep red from where the woman smacked it, but Hidan is in such a daze it doesn't even look like he can feel the pain.

"W-What's wrong…?" Hidan asks, sounding so quiet. Hidan never sounds quiet.

I grip his hand, but he doesn't hold mine back. He isn't paying attention to anything aside from the wrecked woman in front of him.

With a weary sigh, Saeko kneels down so that she's level with us. She places a hand on our shoulders before pulling us into a hug. I want to squirm out of her grasp, but don't move for Hidan's sake.

"Hidan, Kaoru…" Saeko whispers, "Your imōto wasn't alive when she came out... She was a stillborn— She died."

Hidan looks confused, as if he can't believe what he is hearing. He shakes his head, trying to push Saeko away, but she only holds onto him tighter. "I- I don't want to hear this shit!"

The doctor continues, "And your okaa-san… She didn't make it either. I'm— I'm so sorry boys, I did all I could."

"This is stupid!" Hidan finally breaks free from Saeko's hold. "Get off of me, stupid bitch!"

"Hidan!"

Before she can stop him, Hidan tears open the door to Maemi's room. Saeko quickly goes after him, leaving me to follow behind them once again.

Inside the bedroom, Maemi's still body is on her bed, covered up to the neck by the sheets. Beside her is a bundle of cloth, which I assume holds the stillborn child. The bodies don't deter me— I've seen quite a few, after all. If anything bothered me, it's the fact that Hidan is cuddled up beside Maemi's corpse, crying into her neck.

"Wake up! Stupid! Dumbass! Ugly! Whore!" The gray-haired boy wails, "Fucking— Fucking wake up!"

Saeko looked at Hidan —at his tear-stricken face— and she felt pity. Saeko looked at me —my expression hard as stone— and she felt fear.

It feels a little like déjà vu when Saeko refuses to take us in, instead dropping us off at the only orphanage in the village. As we make the trip to get there, it's increasingly obvious to me that Hidan and I had lived in the more rundown part of the village. The location of the orphanage is much nicer, but not anything too high-class.

Hidan is silent, even when Saeko apologies and hugs him one last time. She gives me a wary glance but makes no move to touch me before leaving completely.

When she leaves, the caretakers come forward and herd Hidan and I inside. Everything is going smoothly —the women are coddling us, whispering how unfortunate we are to themselves— until they decide to separate us.

One of the ladies picks me up and cradles me in her arms, but Hidan has a hold on my hand and refuses to let go. At first, the caretakers find it endearing and coo at us.

"Oh sweetie, we know you don't want to leave your brother right now, but the younger children stay in a different section than the one you'll be staying in. Don't worry, you'll see your brother after you both get settled in."

They gently try to remove his hand, but as soon as they touch him, Hidan snaps. With a yell of anger, Hidan punches one of the women in the face. She cries out in surprise, tripping over her feet and falling onto her ass. I can see blood falling into her hand. I try to hold back a snort— Hidan broke her nose.

"Oh my gosh!" The woman holding me exclaims, quickly trying to distance herself from Hidan while he faces off the other two caretakers. She holds onto me protectively, but I know Hidan would never do anything to intentionally harm me. The poor lady should be worrying about herself.

In fact… I know that if this escalates any further, Hidan won't stop at just breaking their noses. If he doesn't get his way soon, things are going to get a lot more violent.

With that in mind, I bite down harshly on the hand that the caretaker is using to shield my face from Hidan's freak show. She screams in surprise, dropping me on reflex. I hit the wooden floor with a yelp, immediately catching Hidan's attention.

"Kaoru!" Hidan races to my side, growling at the caretaker that dropped me. The woman squeaks, quickly jumping back as she holds her now bleeding hand to her chest. The boy holds me close to his chest, practically pulling me onto his lap.

Eventually the caretakers decide to leave, finally figuring out it'll be safer to just let us (mainly Hidan) calm down. I watch them leave over Hidan's shoulder, tuning in to their conversation as they whisper to each other, and block everything else out.

"They're evil," the one with a broken nose says shakily. "I don't want to be near them!"

"They're tainted— Something is definitely wrong with them. Especially the older one," the caretaker who made it out relatively fine says, glancing back at Hidan with a nervous expression.

The last one —the one I had bitten— nods, "Like a feral animal. The tiny one was probably just reacting to his brother's emotions… But it still worries me."

"All we can do now is let them calm down, then we'll figure out what to do from there. Now, let's go get your wounds patched up."

When they finally step out of hearing range, I focus back on Hidan. He's still holding onto me protectively, his grip unrelenting. Before he had been quiet, but now he's whispering reassurances in my ear.

"Damn it— It's gonna be okay, alright? I'm gonna take care of you. I've always taken care of you, but now I'm gonna be even better at it! I'll get stronger, and- and I'll graduate early from the Academy so I can take missions and make tons of money!" When he starts to sniffle, I realize that he had been crying this entire time. "And, you know, once I graduate the Academy— I'll get an apartment from the head ninja! H-He gives one to all orphaned genin, so we'll be fine!"

At this point, I'm not sure if Hidan is trying to convince me that everything's going to be okay, or if he's trying to convince himself.

"What about now?" I ask, pulling away so I can look back up at him. "Can't we just get an apartment now, since you're training in the Academy?"

Hidan shakes his head with a frown. "The head ninja doesn't give apartments to Academy students just in case they decide to drop out. It fucking sucks because I don't want to stay in this dingy orphanage. I mean, shitty Konoha even gives apartments to orphaned Academy students! I know 'cause Sensei told us! It's not fair…"

"It's okay." I pat his head. "We just have to be patient."

"Yeah…" Hidan preens under my touch, relaxing against my hand. A part of me is happy to see him like this, and a small smile crosses my face. The feeling of affection is startling— I haven't felt like this for someone in a long time, and the person I had cared about is long gone now; abandoned to my past life.

Perhaps I can let myself care for someone again… Just this once.

author's note: so the long awaited rewrite of "guarded" is finally here! you will learn more about griffyth/kaoru's past and how he got reborn throughout the story. quick fact: griffyth means "a murderer" in scottish.

this chapter was edited by the lovely fortheloveofb!

story rec: "bone of contention" by tsume yuki