Kim Possible - Better off Dead

Kim Possible and all related characters are owned by Disney. Story written for free and fun, no money involved and no claims made.

Warning! Story contains murder, major character deaths, suicide, and severe emotional trauma. If you're not 18 or older and/or can't handle emotionally charged grimdark fics, go read something else. That said you've been warned.

Lastly, this is a 1-shot KiGo story.

-^v^- -^v^-

Shego scowled at the scene before her.

A massive heavily secured unmarked complex with heavy defenses, guards armed with what looked like reverse-engineered 'doomsday rays' on patrol, drones flitting about, and aside from what were obviously support structures, only one real building. A borderline bunker that made Cheyenne Mountain look about as secure as a 7-11 in comparison.

The real kicker?

It all seemed more geared to keeping something or someone in than attackers out.

Most of the drones were inside the perimeter. The guards were as focused towards that bunker as they were potential intruders. All freq's were jammed, including GJ ones, and as far as she could tell the only link to the outside world was via point to point laser comms. Even GPS was cut off.

The fuck was going on?

Just over three months ago Kimmie and the buffoon had been announced to the world to be dead. Unannounced were the deaths of nearly 2 dozen GJ agents in Asia branch. Stoppable, what was left of him after being ripped to pieces, had been given a closed casket burial. Kimmie hadn't even gotten that much because she'd been declared KIA-BNR.

Killed in action-Body Not Recoverable.

Only, as far as she could tell GJ hadn't made any effort at all to actually recover a body.

While she could see GJ doing that to some redshirt agent, there was no fucking way they'd do that to Kimmie. Princess was the poster girl for 'Truth and Justice'. The literal face of do-gooders worldwide, and it wasn't exactly a secret Betty'd been grooming Kim to replace her eventually. Villains worldwide had been (In a few cases literally) having nightmares about that day because GJ with Kimmie at the head of it would be hell on Earth for bad guys.

GJ knew something, and she was gonna find out what because princess deserved a proper burial. Not to get left to rot at the bottom of the ocean and wind up fish shit.

She owed Kimmie that much.

Owed her everything, really.

Sneaking in was a giant pain in the ass and took her nearly 'till dawn to pull off. Eventually however she slid into what she as pretty sure was the main bay and nearly fell flat on her face in shock.

A massive open area with armored turrets lining the walls, and in the middle of it all were two people, one medical bed, and a swarm of medical equipment.

One, obviously injured but vertical and looking straight at her though how much they could see considering they had a blind person's cane in one hand was debatable.

The other looked like hammered shit that'd been run over with a paver and whipped by Indiana Jones with an anchor chain.

Elizabeth Director.

Kim Possible.

"Shego."

She scowled. "Betty."

"This's for her safety Shego. And the world's."

Wait, what?

"The hell are you talking about? She's-"

"A broken woman that's lost everything." The agent interrupted. "Now, if you'll promise to act in a civilized manner I give you my word I'll explain things in full and let you go when I'm done."

"Yeah? And what's to stop me from blowing this all over the world when you do?"

"I suspect that by the time I've finished you'll be as adamant on keeping this a secret as I am, if not moreso."

Ooookay.

After a moment she groused "Fine, but if you try and screw me... "

For some reason the woman chuckled, though it had no humor to it. "That would be Mrs. Romanova's job, not mine."

Wait, what?!

"Lead me to my office? My sight isn't what it was."

"Where's your errand boy?"

"Running Global Justice now. This is my last op."

She sighed and walked over, then let the woman set a hand on her shoulder. As they headed to the door she asked "The hell happened Bett's? Who did that to you?"

"Oven cleaner and Kimberly."

The fuck?! Ah hell...

"Mind control? Someone turn her?" She asked, scowling.

"Yes and no. Please, once we get to my office I'll show you what happened in detail."

A few minutes of walking later she flopped into a chair and waited for the woman to sit at the massive desk dominating the room. Once the spy was ass-down she asked "Okay Bett's, the fuck happened? No more bullshit, no more games."

A wall disappeared behind a holo display as Bett's said "It all started just over 3 months ago when Dementor managed to beat Kim Possible thanks to Ron Stoppable."

-^v^- -^v^-

Kim, looking around hoping no one could hear them, hissed "Ron, if you don't shut up I'm gonna feed you to Dementor's Schnauzer!"

"But why! I did everything for you!"

"I don't like you like that Ron! Now drop it before I drop you!"

"But the prom!"

"I was emotionally wrecked and forgot the difference between my best friend, and having a boyfriend. Now shut up!"

"But Kim! IGAK-"

She 'slipped' and kicked his feet out from under him, knocking him off the railing into the ocean about 60 feet below. She figured it'd hurt, but he'd be fine and maybe a fast dip in frigid water would chill him the hell out.

-^v^- -^v^-

"Wait!" She interrupted, making 'time-out' hands.

Betty hit pause on the mission recordings on the wallscreen, freezing the images and silencing the 'operative mental state interpolation' voiceover.

"Did she just... ?"

"Boot her sidekick off a gantry into a 6-story swan dive and semi-arctic waters? Yes. She'd broken things off with him a week or so prior. As you can see, he didn't take that rejection well."

She snickered. "Damn, wish I'd been there to see that."

"May I?"

She blinked, then nodded. "Yeah, go for it."

-^v^- -^v^-

She managed to get to the main room of the base where Dementor and the Multidimensional transpositional overloadinator (Who the hell named these things anyway, 6-year-olds?) were located. She was about to make her move -dropping from the ceiling to KO the helmeted little freak in one shot so she could disarm and destroy the weapon- when Ron burst into the room and bellowed "I'm here Kim!"

She cursed and launched herself at Dementor, but he knew enough of how she operated to automatically dodge. She landed, rolled to her feet, and after a short but vicious fight made much harder and ten times longer than it should've been by Ron 'helping', managed to beat him into unconsciousness. Then she rounded on her former BFF and screamed "ARE YOU TRYING TO GET ME KILLED?!"

"But Kim I-"

"Barged in here just as I was about to make my move, meaning he was able to dodge my attack and force a fight!" She overrode him furiously. "I still could've dropped him in under 5 seconds but you had to 'be a man" she pointed out derisively. "Nearly knocked me down four times, and instead of me getting though it unscathed I'm pretty damn sure I have a couple busted ribs and a goddamn concussion!"

"That's not fair I-"

"Am never coming with me on a mission again or you're the first one I beat into an ICU! Now shut up and call Wade! I'd do it myself but thanks to you my Kimmunicator's also busted!"

She spun and walked off, going through meditative routines to try and calm down.

Then she overheard "...PMS'ing super hard man, so 'Kimness' to the max. Watch out dude."

Oh that was IT!

She spun and walked over, tapped him on the shoulder to get his attention, then decked him as hard and fast as she could. He went flying, flipped like a coin, and took a header into the wall.

"Ay, Fraulein!"

Oh shit...

She spun, saw the Dementor was back up and realized he'd managed to grab some kind of beam gun or ray when she'd been distracted by Ron.

She realized instantly, even as he gleefully aimed, that she'd never make it in time to keep him from pulling that trigger.

And then the world was swallowed in light.

-^v^- -^v^-

She cursed, then muttered "That idiot's lucky he's already dead or he'd be begging me to kill him."

"Begging a lot of people, yes." Betty agreed with a sigh. "The cleanup squad arrived a few minutes later to discover Mr. Stoppable dodging beam gun fire. In the chaos caused by Mr. Stoppable trying to 'help' my people he managed to escape."

"Figures."

"My medics diagnosed Kim as being trapped in a mental construct. Dementor reasoned, correctly unfortunately, that Kim's mental fortitude would make sticking her in a hellscape or nightmare scenario only a momentary 'solution'. She'd inevitably realize what was going on and find a way to fight free of it. Instead he changed the parameters and trapped her in her perfect world. One she wouldn't, and didn't, want to escape."

"Why is it always mind control? Shit."

"It's a disturbingly widespread technology. Thus -thanks to a rare moment of competence- he managed to take her out of the game, potentially forever." The spy sighed and said "Unfortunately Mr. Stoppable was needed to retrieve the ray so he managed to elude a cell. He then somehow was able to get in, retrieve the weapon, and get back out without a trace."

She snorted. "He probably called up his ninja friends and had them do it."

That earned her a considering nod. "I suspect so, yes."

"Figures." Then what'd been bugging her about the video popped up and she asked "Wait, how'd you get her POV like that, and if she was in a coma how'd she narrate it?"

"On a previous mission things went bad due to the interference of local law enforcement interrupting an in-progress mission over Jurisdictional disputes."

"More like dick size disputes."

That earned her a wry chuckle. "Which despite the fact I'm a woman I always seem to win. Regardless, the city then turned around and tried to sue Kim for damages. Kim, as a way to provide a legal defense in further such incidents, came up with a 'black box' implant that records several senses and various biometric data. It also allowed the display of certain data for in-mission briefings and comms. Legal and tactical adored the idea and she of course volunteered for the initial field tests."

"Idiot."

"From a security standpoint I agree entirely. From nearly any other, no."

"Yeah, I bet. So how'd she go apeshit if she was in a coma?"

"Ron, -once he had the gun, and ignoring every safety protocol in the books not to mention basic sense- snuck into her room and shot her with it."

"Why that little... "

"She killed him almost immediately thereafter."

Wait, WHAT?!

"Imagine if you got everything you ever wanted. Every wish fulfilled. Bliss was a way of life. No wants, no regrets, just... perfection."

She winced, getting an idea of where this was going.

"The forcible sudden demolition of that perfection by a weapon never designed to reverse it's own effects evidently resulted in the world she'd built in her mind being annihilated. Imagine every worst-case 'complete global extinction event' scenario ever dreamed up by humankind happening at once. Then imagine having to live through that hell while being forced to watch everyone you love die horrifically."

Ah hell. No wonder cupcake had snapped.

She watched the security video as the buffoon -looking incredibly proud of himself- shot Kimmie in her bed. Then the thing spat sparks, a gout of smoke, and the idiot tossed it aside.

There was nothing for a few moments, then the redhead screamed so loud she saw blood fly, eyes looking like she'd just had a massive OD, body jerking like someone having a gran mal seizure. The teen fell out of bed obviously incoherent, and the fucking moron proudly explained what he'd done.

She saw the exact moment everything went straight to hell.

Those green eyes going from stupefied to murderously feral. The look on Kimmie's face hardening, pale hands curling into... the hell? Only she ever fought claw-handed, and only because she had goddamn claws.

"You killed them."

Oh this was so not good.

"Wha? No, it was all a dream KP! Now you're back!"

"YOU MURDERED MY FAMILY!"

She winced when the redhead launched herself at the buffoon and couldn't help staring gape-faced at the resulting carnage. It was like seeing herself at a new and record-setting 'worst' in Kimmie's body minus the plasma while screaming how he'd murdered her wife and their 5 little girls.

By the time he thought to ask who he was stumbling like a drunk and looked like he'd pissed off a Black Bear mama protecting a den fulla cubs.

The redhead screamed "NATALIA ROMANOVA!" and gutted him.

The video paused as she stared, stupefied, unable to even speak.

"Kim's ideal world was centered on you, as her wife, and your five daughters. Medea, 3 weeks old. Cassandra, who'd just learned to walk. Arial and Juliet, twins and just started puberty. Pandora, your eldest and just old enough to get a driver's license. A reformed DNAmy spliced your DNA together to create viable fertilized ova. You had reformed and joined Team Possible since Ron, apparently, was killed by Monkey Fist shortly after she 'woke up' in what she believed at the time to be an alternate dimension. After years of trouncing evil you'd retired to the first lunar colony and were on your way home from ballecour class when it happened."

Stunned, her head full of chaos, she barely heard herself ask "She... wanted a family? With me?"

"She did, and she took your name as well. Kimberly Anne Romanova. Wife of Natalia Romanova, and mother of your 5 children. For what little it's worth you were a good partner and mother."

"How... ?"

"I managed to trap her in an office and tried to talk her down or give a team time to get into position to drop her with prototype stunners since conventional NLO (Nonlethal Ordinance) had little to no effect. Unfortunately she realized I was stalling for time and rigged an IED to blow through a wall. When I got in her way... You can see how that ended."

She winced. "Shit."

"Yes. Luckily my injuries were quick to handle, though actual repair is... a more long term issue. That meant however that I was, just barely, able to guess her next move in time."

She blinked, then scowled. "Dementor."

"Yes, and after she was recovered it was discovered her black box hadn't been deactivated. You'll imagine our surprise when it turned out to have some... unintended functionality."

-^v^- -^v^-

She jerked awake as the bus she was on hit a pothole. Blearily looking around the 'pod' bed she'd spent part of the night in she frowned as she tried to figure out what was going on, and why she was on a cross-continental 'rolling hotel' bus headed from the east coast to the west. Oh, right, Dementor. She had to find that little freak.

As she watched the sky roll by out the window, the moon was hit by an asteroid and shattered into a wall of molten death headed straight for Earth.

There was a tap on the 'sleep pod' frame and someone quietly asked "Are you okay miss?"

She pulled the curtain open and saw that it was one of the staff. If you could ignore the fact it was a zombie or something and kept mutating. "No, but there's... nothing you can do. Thanks though." she rasped, equally discrete. Just because the world was dead was no reason to be rude, right?

"I'm not supposed to do this during sleep hours, but I think you could use a drink."

"Appreciate the thought, but drinking and I aren't a good combination. Okay if I head downstairs as long as I'm quiet?"

"Sure."

She slid out of the bed (She'd slept in her clothes -bought with money she'd 'liberated' from some crooks- just in case) and did her Ninja impression to get down to the lounge without making a sound. Once there she hit up the vending machines for some food and had a late... whatever meal this was.

"You learn to not worry about it cupcake."

She turned and the ghost of her wife was sitting on the stool next to her.

"You know me love." she muttered. "little miss organized."

"And in the other corner, the avatar of chaos, the inventor of the creative evolving filing system, Shegoooooo!"

She twitched a grin and said "Until you were dethroned by the girls."

"Two Words hon; My. Hangar."

She snorted. "The winner and still champeen... "

"Mommy! Mommy! How long 'till we get home? I miss pa'roo!"

She turned and smiled down at Cassandra. "Soon honey. Mommy needs to find someone and ask directions."

"Make sure to ask them nicely." Shego added. There was a smile on her face, but the brunette's eyes were colder than liquid helium.

"I got a feeling 'Nice' isn't-" Juliet offered.

"-on the menu." Arial finished.

Her eldest growled "Good because-"

"Pandora Helena Romanova... " She interjected warningly.

Her wife set a hand on the young woman's shoulder and looked her in the eyes. "Throttle back mini-me. There's a short distance between justice and revenge. Trust me, I'd know. Just like I'd know once you go down that road it's hell finding the off ramp." Then the woman grinned and added "Helps to have a redheaded guide though."

"How the skak is it that I'm a teenager and not interested in sex at all, but you'n mom still can't keep your hands off each other."

Shego looked dramatically panicked and stage-whispered "Kimmie, they discovered we stole all the hormones!"

"Grown-up's." the twins complained.

"Whatever." Pandora muttered, the teen rolling her eyes.

Medea, being too young to talk, simply gurgled.

-^v^- -^v^-

The video paused but she barely noticed. She was too busy... something. Everything. She had no idea what to do or think. She'd had one dream her entire life, and she'd buried it as deep as she could so she could try and forget it. But there, on the screen...

A happy functional loving family, co-starring Shego.

Wait...

"Kimmie loved... me? not Ms. Go?"

"Yes."

"But... "

"Before this I had 23 scenarios that ended with you two married within the next 5 years. In 14 of those you also had one or more children. I also had my top analysts give the idea of you two as a couple some thought and they all agreed, the moment you two got together -either on the right or wrong side of the law- it'd be suicide to try and pull you apart."

"I'm straight Betty. Always have been." she pointed out.

"How the two of you feel for each other's an odd situation, I'll give it that. Heinlein put it best however. When the happiness, health, and safety of another are essential to your own, you love them."

She... couldn't argue with that.

She scowled and muttered "The fact I agree with something you said is really creeping me out Bett's."

"Under most other circumstances I'd be worried about that myself. Like 'you' said, you're chaos incarnate. It wouldn't surprise me in the least if -assuming Norse deities were actually a thing- you were Loki's avatar."

She chuckled curtly at that.

"In this case however," Betty continued, "I think I'd be more worried if you didn't. Thankfully -your proclamations of being evil aside- you're not the monster some think you are. Kim saw the woman behind that charade and loved her."

Not sure what to say to that she sighed and looked down. "Kimmie always did look for the good in everyone."

"And she frequently found it."

"Yeah." She sighed, then asked "Dementor?"

"Kimberly found him... surprisingly easily. Especially considering she did so without help. She questioned him, and when she confirmed he couldn't make another ray she killed him then committed suicide."

"WHAT?!"

"You saw that video Shego. All she wanted was to go home. When she realized there was no way 'back' all she had left was to join them in death."

Feeling a wet burning in her eyes she closed them and whispered "Damnit princess... "

"Luckily my people were able to get to her in time to resuscitate her so no permanent damage was done. She was brought here for treatment, and after her condition was stabilized I made a few calls."

She blinked, then nodded. For some reason she felt utterly drained as she said "The elder possibles, Wade, the rest of Kimmie's nerd brigade all pulling a fade. They're not looking for her, are they?"

"Felix Renton and Anne are building a self-powered survival pod. James a stealth rocket. Wade and the twins are making something called a Cybertronic Nanoscale Interface Matrix."

She blinked, then nodded tiredly. "You're sending her home."

"Yes, and I'm making sure all of this stays ghosted so the villain world doesn't try to kill her when she's helpless. So her legacy is that of a selfless hero, not a broken madwoman. I owe her that much."

"Kimmie wouldn't care about legacies!"

"True, but I think she deserves to be remembered for what she accomplished. Not how far she fell."

Goddammit. Put like that how the hell could she blow the lid off this trainwreck of a meltdown? If she did she'd be throwing Kimmie under the bus like people had done to her.

Betty said nothing, just nodded sadly.

She poured herself another shot, eyed it, then downed it and made a choice she knew now she should've made a long time ago.

"Make it a pod for 2."