Healing

"Hey there, Princess."

"I know why you're here." Marinette said, turning back around to face away from him as she tried to force her rapidly beating heart to slow down.

"Do you now?" He asked in a teasing tone.

"Yes." Marinette said, keeping her gaze fixated on the sky. "You want to ask me how I got the scar again..."

"You got me, Princess." He said, coming to stand behind her. "Can you blame me for being a curious cat?"

"You know what they say about what curiosity did to the cat." Marinette said. "And don't you dare say anything about satisfaction bringing it back."

Behind her, Cat Noir closed his mouth as the words died in his throat.

"I could always drop my transformation, go in the bakery and ask your parents what happened." He said suggestively.

"No!" Marinette exclaimed, whipping around and grabbing him by the wrist, her eyes wide. "You can't! They don't even know about the scars! You can't!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait." He said. "Scars? Plural?"

"Crap." Marinette said through clenched teeth, and she sighed. "Y-yes. Plural. There's...two."

"Two?" He asked, and she nodded shyly. "And where is this second scar?"

Marinette shifted her weight on her feet for a moment and bit her bottom lip before shakily grabbing the hem of her shirt and lifting it up just enough for him to see a scar identical to the one on her chest that rested a few inches above her bellybutton. She didn't meet his eyes or look at his face, but she could tell he was looking at it with wide eyes. It was a natural reaction. She quickly pulled her shirt back down and cleared her throat.

"How do your parents not know about these?" He asked her.

"Nobody knows about them." She said. "Well, except you now, I guess."

"Marinette, what happened?" Cat Noir asked her.

The look of genuine concern on his face -a face she had only ever seen him give Ladybug- was like a sucker punch to the gut and she felt tears prick her eyes. A single tear slipped from her eye and began to roll down her cheek, but she quickly wiped it away.

"Nothing worth talking about." She said quietly, averting her gaze to her feet.

"Somehow I have trouble believing that." He deadpanned, and it took everything in her not to visibly flinch. She sighed heavily and walked past him to the middle of her balcony.

"Can you please just drop it, Cat Noir?" She asked, wrapping her arms around herself as she sat back down. "I'm fine, I promise."

"See, I don't believe that either." He said, coming to sit down across from her. "I think you're putting up a good front so your friends and family don't worry about you or start to suspect anything."

Marinette was silent, and continued to avoid his gaze and instead focused intently on her fingers as she twiddled them around nervously. Why was Cat Noir so obsessed with wanting to know anything and everything about the scars anyway? Why did he care so much? Sure, they were friends, but Marinette didn't expect him to care so deeply about her wellbeing.

"Marinette, were you...?" Cat Noir trailed off. "Were you...attacked?"

The bluenette laughed dryly and another tear slid down her face. "I guess that's what you could call it." She said, wiping the tear away in frustration. Why was she crying?!

"So, is that a yes?" He asked, and Marinette sighed.

"I mean, yeah, I-I-I guess," She said. "In a way...I was attacked."

"And you never told your parents about it?" He asked, and Marinette couldn't help but begin to laugh.

"Please, if my parents knew...half the things that have happened to me that I've never told them about...they'd go crazy." She said, still laughing a little, but Cat Noir didn't look amused.

"You mean something like this has happened before?" He asked.

"Uh...kind of? I guess?" Marinette replied. Cat Noir put aside his frustration at her vague answer to ask another question.

"Okay, so how were you able to get it past a doctor?" He asked. "I doubt whatever injuries those scars are the product of didn't require stitches."

"I didn't see a doctor." She told him, and his eyes went wide.

"You didn't see a doc-" He spluttered out, flabbergasted. "Marinette, why the hell wouldn't you see a doctor?!"

"Because I would have had to explain what happened!" Marinette told him. "And telling anybody how I got these scars would reveal-"

Marinette stopped herself. She almost blurted out it would reveal her secret identity. She composed herself and spoke again, this time rephrasing herself.

"Telling anybody how I got these scars would...complicate things." She said.

"How?" He asked. "What's so complicated that you can't even tell your own parents that you were attacked?"

Tears stung Marinette's eyes once more, and a couple fell from her eyes and splashed silently on her jeans. She sniffed, and finally looked up into Cat Noir's eyes.

"If I told my parents what happened..." She started. "Then everything I have done to protect them over the past five years would be for nothing. My parents think I'm this...innocent, I guess, girl who runs away from danger not towards it, and I'd like to keep it that way. It's easier for them to see me what way."

"It's easier for them or it's easier for you?" He asked, and she blinked a couple times at the question.

"Both." She answered simply. "Honestly Chat, even if you knew what I've been up to for the past five years you would..."

She trailed off, and looked away from him again. She just wanted him to leave already, but the thought of turning him away or making him leave made her stomach feel queasy. As much as she normally enjoyed talking with her partner, when the conversation topic was her scars, she wanted nothing more than for him to shut up.

"I would what?" He asked, and Marinette turned back to give him a sad smile. She let out a heavy sigh and reached up to brush from of his hair out of his face.

"You would see me differently." She said, bringing her hand away from his hair.

"You don't know that." He told her, and another tear slipped from her eye.

"But I do." She said. "You would see me differently, and you'd...you'd probably hate me."

"Marinette..." Cat Noir said, reaching over to take one of her hands in his. "Unless you were working with Hawk Moth or something, I could never hate you."

She let out an airy laugh as more tears fell down her face. "Well, I'm not one to work with super villains, but...you'd still hate me."

"I highly doubt that." He told her. "You're a hard girl to hate, Marinette."

"Oh, see, I know a blond girl who would disagree with that." She said, laughing lightly through her tears. "Chloé finds hating me to be quite easy."

"I don't think she hates you." He told her.

"Well, she certainly doesn't like me." Marinette said. "She's made that obvious since the sixth grade."

"Then she's missing out." Cat Noir said. "But Marinette, I could never hate you. No matter what."

"What if I told you...I have a secret?" She asked quietly, after a few moments. "I big secret. A secret so big that if it were to ever get out...things probably wouldn't be pretty."

"Well," Cat Noir said. "it would depend on what this secret is."

Marinette sighed. "I can't tell you what it is...it does play a big part in how I got the scars though."

"You can't just tell me something like that and expect me to not ask about it." Cat Noir told her chuckling lightly, and Marinette smiled for a moment.

"Maybe I'll tell you someday..." She said after a moment. "Someday when...I'm not afraid of it anymore."

"This secret scares you?" He asked, and she nodded.

"A little, yeah." She confessed. "It didn't always scare me...but then what gave me the scars happened, and it's just...never really been the same since then."

A silence fell upon them, neither one of them knowing what else to say. After a few minutes, Marinette stood, wiped her eyes and grabbed her sketchbook.

"Well, it's uh...getting late and I have to help my parents down in the bakery tomorrow so I should probably...go to bed." She said. "Goodnight, Cat Noir."

She rushed past him and climbed down through her skylight into her bedroom, closing the skylight behind her. Cat Noir stared at it for a moment and sighed sadly.

"Goodnight, Princess."

So, maybe Marinette lied when she said she had to help her parents in the bakery. Truthfully, she hadn't wanted Cat Noir to ask anymore questions about anything. She had already told him too much as is, and didn't want to take the chance of possibly telling him more. However, she wasn't lying when she brought up possibly telling him someday.

As much as she wanted to tell her partner that she was Ladybug and that she was alive and that he didn't have to feel guilty or miss her anymore because she was right there, she couldn't. The mere thought of even bringing the subject up sent shivers down her spine. She hated this. She hated being afraid of who she was, of being who she was. She hated it. She wanted to transform, but every time she thought about what would happen if people saw her made her change her mind faster than you could say 'Miraculous'.

But maybe someday.

"Marinette, are you okay?" Tikki asked her as she lay awake staring at the ceiling. The bluenette sighed heavily and shifted her legs underneath her comforter.

"I don't know, Tikki." She answered honestly. "I love being able to see and talk with Cat Noir again, but if he keeps asking about the scars what am I supposed to tell him? I can't lie to him forever, right?"

"It...wouldn't be ideal." Tikki told her. "But Marinette, you don't have to tell him the whole truth yet if you aren't ready or don't want to."

Marinette sighed and brought her hands up to her eyes as she felt tears prick them. "God, this is so stupid. He's me partner, I should be able to tell him anything, but when it comes to me being Ladybug I just...can't." She said.

"And that's okay." Tikki told her. "Marinette, what happened to you was awful, and it's okay to not want to talk about it with even the person you're closest to. You'll be ready one day. You just need to finish healing."

"But I thought the Miraculous magic healed everything?" Marinette asked, and Tikki shook her head.

"I don't mean physically, Marinette." She said. "I mean emotionally, and mentally. What happened to you was a scary and traumatic thing, it's going to take time for those wounds to heal."

Marinette sighed and her brows furrowed as she thought over what Tikki said. She knew she was right, Tikki was always right.

"How am I supposed to heal if I can't even talk about it?" Marinette asked. "Talking helps the healing process, right? But I can't talk about what happened without outing myself as Ladybug..."

"Of course you can, Marinette." Tikki told her. "You just have to make sure you avoid a few details."

"Are you suggesting that I actually...tell Cat Noir about what happened?" The bluenette asked in disbelief.

"Not the full story since you clearly aren't ready for that yet, but as much as you can without giving too much away." Tikki said, and Marinette's brows furrowed more as she contemplated her Kwami's words.

"I'll...think about it." Marinette said, and shifted so she was laying on her side. "All this thinking is making my brain hurt."

"Get some sleep, Marinette." Tikki said softly. "You need it."

Marinette smiled tiredly at her Kwami as she laid her head on her pillow and slid her eyes closed, finally allowing her exhaustion to take over as she fell into a deep sleep.

Marinette's Sunday wasn't really all that eventful. She originally had plans to hang out with Alya again, but Alya got roped into watching her little sisters again, which Marinette completely understood and simply told Alya that she'd see her at school the next day. She spent her day completing the designs for her portfolio and even adding some last minute finishing touches to them all. When the evening rolled around, and Marinette knew Cat Noir would be out and about like he always was at night, she hastily climbed out onto her balcony and leaned against the railing, tapping her foot anxiously against the ground.

She heard him before she saw him, the sound of his staff spinning in the air as he launched himself onto her balcony made him lose his element of surprise.

"Hey Cat Noir." She greeted without turning around, and she almost laughed when she heard his footsteps falter and he almost tripped.

"Hey, Princess." He greeted back a bit awkwardly. "I was just...checking in. Seeing how you were doing."

Marinette hummed, looking down to the street below for a moment before looking back to the moon. "If you were anybody else, I would tell you that I'm fine, but..." She turned on her heels to face him, a somber look on her face. "I can't lie to you, Cat Noir."

His eyes widened for a split second at her words, but he quickly regained his composure and waited for her to continue.

"A couple months ago...I was attacked." She began, feeling her throat go dry. "I was...fighting...with someone, and things were getting pretty heated...and the next thing I knew they were pulling a blade on me."

Shock registered in Cat Noir's eyes, but he remained silent as he waited for her to finish telling the story.

"First, they stabbed me in the stomach," She said, putting her hand over her shirt where her scar resided beneath the fabric. "and apparently me coughing up blood wasn't enough to satisfy them because they stabbed me in the chest next."

Marinette was aware of the tears currently streaming down her face due to her blurred vision, but she paid no mind to them. This wasn't the first time Cat Noir had seen her cry and it probably wouldn't be the last.

"He dropped me onto the ground and then he just...and then he just left. As if nothing had happened, as if he hadn't done anything wrong..." She trailed off as her voice shook. "I don't know how long I just...laid there. I didn't move, I couldn't move. All I could do was cough up blood and hope like hell somebody would find me...but nobody ever did."

"If nobody found you, then how did you-"

"Get home?" She finished for him. "I don't really remember. It's all kind of fuzzy, probably because of all the blood I lost and I was light-headed and delirious..."

Cat Noir started taking slow steps towards her, and when he got closer she saw tears in his eyes too.

"I couldn't tell my parents..." She said, her voice breaking. "I couldn't tell them because they wouldn't...they wouldn't understand. They wouldn't understand why I had to hide such a huge thing from them and-"

Marinette's bottom lip quivered, and she looked away from Cat Noir for a moment, clenching her eyes shut as more tears spilled from her eyes.

"It was the scariest night of my life." She said, reopening her eyes. "I almost died...I think I was dead for a minute but...every night when I close my eyes...all I see is him, and the blade and the blood and I can...feel it slicing through me again like I'm butter and I just-"

She was cut off by Cat Noir wrapping his arms around her in a tight embrace. She hugged him back just as tightly and started to sob. Her body wracked with sobs as she cried into his shoulder, and he pulled her tighter to him as he rocked her gently back and forth.

"I can't put my parents through that." She choked out through her cries. "I won't do that to them. So if I have to go through it alone, I will."

"You're not going through it alone." He told her. "Not anymore. You hear me? You've got me, now. Okay?"

All she could do was nod against him and wrap her arms tighter around his waist. He rested his cheek on the top of her head and continued to hold her as she cried. Neither of them knew how long they stood there holding each other, but neither of them cared. Eventually, they had to part and Marinette wiped her eyes on the sleeve of her jacket.

"Uh, tha-thanks." She said, sniffing. "For uh...listening."

"Well, you let me cry on your shoulder the other night. I figured it was only fair I return the favor." He said with a smile and she giggled. "But if you ever need to talk about what happened or how you feel about it, you can talk to me."

Marinette nodded. "I know that." She told him. "...and I will."

He smiled at her once more, and then he stepped forward and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. She looked up at him in bewilderment, a slight blush tainting her cheeks.

"I'm sure you have school tomorrow like I do, so I'll let you get to bed." He said. "Goodnight, Marinette."

He turned and leapt off her balcony, running off into the darkness until she could no longer see him.

"Goodnight, Cat Noir."

"Girl, are you okay?" Alya asked her as she walked up the steps of the school the next morning. It was one of the rare mornings Marinette was actually to school early.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Marinette said quickly. "Why?"

"Your eyes are all bloodshot." Alya told her. "Were you up late or something?"

"Uh...yeah." She said warily. "I was um...finishing the designs for my portfolio."

Adrien -who was standing next to Nino behind Alya- gave her a warm smile and she felt butterflies in her stomach.

That was something that frustrated her. Marinette loved Cat Noir, she truly did, but for whatever reason, her stomach still fluttered around Adrien Agreste. She still had the slightest crush on him, and she felt like she was betraying Cat Noir in some way whenever she got flustered around the blond model. It was also a little ironic seeing as she used to feel the same way when it came to said model whenever she started to become aware of her feelings for her leather clad partner. It was the most confusing and frustrating thing ever.

"Are they finally done?!" Alya asked, and Marinette nodded sheepishly. "Oh my god! You have to let me see them, please!"

"After school, okay?" Marinette told her best friend, giggling lightly.

"Okay, fine." Alya said. "I'll wait. It'll be worth it."

"Hey, I want to see Mari's killer designs too!" Nino piped up with a goofy grin on his face, and Marinette laughed.

"Okay, okay, you and Alya meet me at my locker after school, got it?" Marinette asked, and they both nodded. Marinette saw Adrien looking a little hesitant about something, did he want to see them too and just not know how to ask her? She decided to ask.

"Did you want to see them, too, Adrien?" She asked, and the models eyes widened a bit in surprise at the question.

"Uh, I mean, y-yeah." He replied with a shy smile.

"Okay. Same thing goes to you. My locker after school, now lets get inside before the bell rings and we're late." Marinette said, and began to usher them all inside.

"Uh, says the girl who is literally always late even though she literally lives across the street." Alya teased and Marinette lightly punched her arm.

"Hey!" The bluenette called in mock-offense. The four of them just laughed and continued walking through the courtyard to the staircase. Three of them unaware of the glances Adrien kept stealing at Marinette.

A/N: Not gonna lie, this is totally a filler chapter. I'm sorry! I didn't really know how else to lead up to what happens next so...here's this mess.

Review maybe?

~Charlotte