Summary: Danny fights a hair-obsessed ghost. Puns ensue. - Humor, oneshot. Light Danny/Paulina (Pink Astronaut.)

Warning: puns ahead.

But It Said No Tears Shampoo

—

There were a lot of ghosts out there, and they had a near infinite range of obsessions. If you thought the Box Ghost was the oddest ghost in Amity…

…Well, you'd be wrong.

"I am Lori Elle!" the glowing spook announced, tendrils of hair spread like octopus tentacles, keeping her airborne above the salon she was terrorizing with telekinesis and various glowing hair products. "Face my frizzy fury!"

"My hair!" came a shout from the corner, where Paulina and Star huddled, clutching their heads. Paulina's hair was full of sudsy foam, making it frizz out, while Star's blonde locks seemed to be styled with a stray shot of glowing mousse, and was now shaped to look like… antlers.

Danny was torn – He didn't know whether to be delighted at the hair puns, or annoyed that he wasn't the one making them.

"Yo hairball!" he called, sweeping up to gain high ground. Lori Elle's hair parted so her black eyes could peer through the bangs at him. He jerked his thumb. "How bout we make like your hair and split?"

"How dare you!" The ghost shrieked, hair tendrils wrapping around nearby bottles of hair bleach. She hurtled them at her foe. "DYE!"

"Unoriginal," Danny scorned, dodging.

She continued to chuck whatever she could nab off the shelves; hair brushes, curling irons, hair dryers, conditioner and shampoo of all colors. Dodging, Danny snatched two bottles out of the air, popping open the lids, and squeezed them at her eyes.

"Augh!" Lori Elle clutched her face in agony, crying, hair whirling about her, directionless. "You'll pay for this!"

"Thermos," Danny called, hand up like a catcher's glove. One of his teammates, hidden in the chaos below, tossed it neatly into his palm. Aiming it, he informed her, "No one's going toupee for this but you."

Lori Elle screamed as the swirling vacuum of light drew her in, and her shriek was almost loud enough to drown out a roomful of groans at his last pun.

Danny capped the thermos, satisfied, and floated to the ground. Paulina, never one to be deterred when her hero was around, ran over to greet him, trying to tame her wild soapy hair as she went.

"That was amazing! You're amazing!" she gushed, latching onto his arm as he clipped the thermos to his belt. "How did you know how to distract her?"

"Oh, hair care products almost always have false advertising," he quipped, unable to resist a pun even in the face of his crush. He showed her the Johnson&Johnson bottle, grinning. "And this one says no tears shampoo."

("It's… it's tears, Danny," Jazz said when they got home. "As in, rips and tears–"

"Just let me have this," Danny replied.)