She was supposed to be dead.

So why had she come here?

She had her mother's eyes too.

Mako hadn't stopped staring since she walked in. Zarya by his side in the bar. This was an escort mission to relocate a junker leader safely. But still, that leader looked familiar.

It isn't her. It just isn't.

"How do you handle it? All this heat?"

The Russian woman by his side asked as she nudged his side.

"..."

"Fine, keep your secrets." she smiled as she sipped.

Mako kept staring. Hadn't seen her since she was a baby. And when he came to the farm after the bombs dropped his daughter was gone and his wife was ash.

So

Why

Is

She

Here?

"Tough guy?" Zarya asked. "Why the silence?" she paused. "It is more than usual,"

Had she known she would have stopped talking.

Mako couldn't take his eyes off the young lady. Laughing. Dancing and drinking.

She was just born.

Why is she drinking and dancing?

His stomach lurched. And finally he moved.

His feet carrying him not too fast to draw attention as he entered the toilet. Ignoring the glory holes and the graffiti, he just ripped off his mask painfully and lurched in the toilet.

His throat burned.

He deserved worse.

And Zarya was none the wiser.

The music was faint even outside. It wasn't a weekend. It was a casual day. People from all over Junkertown visited. And they of course were mostly weapon makers and construction workers. All lining up to drink with coworkers.

Zarya was grateful she made it here before anyone had the chance to beat her to being served as she pushed her beer to her lips and drank. She looked at the target to escort. A young girl no older than twenty or so. Maybe a little older.

Zarya watched. Waiting for Mako.

Mako couldn't breathe as he kept lurching in the toilet violently loud. Everytime he thought of it...the baby now turned adult.

He had to stop.

That wasn't her.

That wasn't.

She was dead.

She.

Was.

Dead.

Mako froze there in the room a long time. He caught his breath. Then he huffed some hogdrogen deep as he could.

Just don't look at her.

The mask was much needed.

He had to hide her from view.

It wouldn't take long before they made eye contact he knew it.

Mako hyperventilated.

The lurched again.

Was he dying?

Maybe he didn't deserve it.

He didn't deserve to live.

To breathe.

Soon there was nothing left to chuck. A forced stop made him shake and tremble with fear. Fear of something he didn't no…

No. Fear of someone.

But what was to fear of her? She was grown up and powerful yes but as far as he wanted to be concerned she was just another pompous cocky junker gang leader. But that wasn't where his concerns stopped was it? They pressed further about how he left her as a baby. How she must have hated him.

And fate was being evil. Not cruel. Evil.

She wasn't supposed to be alive.

Zarya was now a tad worried for Roadhog by the bar. Not to mention she was growing steadily sleepy. And she wanted to go to bed, but her iron will from the military kept her from showing that. And that's the moment Zarya finally knocked on the bathroom door. "Road-?"

The door opened and he just got done washing his face. After all that just got done happening anyone could see he looked painfully whiter than normal. Zarya wouldn't let this go unexplained.

"Are you?"

She asked.

He shook his head.

"I'm not, but we're all gonna be,"

Whatever it meant Zarya would not ask immediately. For the sake of his sanity. Judging by the smell and the way he looked he'd been vomiting in here. And the sooner they got the mission started the sooner they could all take a breather after it was over. And so Zarya nodded understandingly. "Whatever that means, I just hope you're okay. Want some water or…?" she wasn't really a medic. But she could try for her teammates sake. He nodded. Roadhog never accepted any offers like this before. Or any for that matter. But Zarya shrugged and filled up her end. She went to the bar and got him some water. All while Roadhog slowly made his way to Junkrat.

Junkrat was talking to Lucio and Mei. Mei wasn't present on the mission today. But she would meet them up at the watch point. Her little blue holovid showed her with pajamas on in bed as the two just talked. Junkrat always dedicated a little time to her even when a part. Something happened between them which Roadhog assumed was they had been meeting up in each others rooms every other night. Which meant they were most likely going at it at night. And that explained the loud sounds at night. The banging that hurt his head. Leave it to Junkrat to be a nuisance.

"Do the thing again!"

Mei rolled her eyes at the junker.

"Help me Obi Wan Kenobi! You're my only hope!"

And Junkrat was cackling. Until the fist of Roadhog nudged him gently on the head. "Get the target and send her to the carrivan." Roadhog ordered.

"Wait a mit! Ain't I your boss?!"

Roadhog stared at the pale white haired girl again and back at Junkrat.

Roadhog paused before bending down and meeting Junkrat at eye level.

"I have my own reasons why I can't do it. But please will you do this?"

Junkrat nearly fainted. Roadhog said please. Roadhog was being polite. And for a second Junkrat's white face grew whiter than Roadhog. In a way it was kind of funny had it not been for the situation.

"Ah...o-okay…?"

Junkrat nervously got up and shook off everything. Before walking off.

Roadhog returned to Zarya, got his drink, and took off with everyone to the ship. Roadhog had no feeling in his guts anymore. And as he watched the girl enter the ship first and foremost he eased up. Shaken but slow he went inside too and collapsed on his bed. How he was supposed to ignore the cargo he had no idea. But now he was stuck with it.

Zarya watched him as he clambered into his bunk. He looked miserable. Most nights he took his mask off and laid away from everyone not to be seen. But here he was splayed out with mask still on. And that somehow was more mysterious to her than anything else.

"Hey tough guy…"

His head rolled to face her. A low grunt came from him. She perceived it as a signal to keep talking.

"You okay?" Zarya asked.

He nodded. But he was very much not okay.

"In the army they train us to know when someone is lying. And I read that all over your face,"

A low groan came from Roadhog. And Zarya pulled herself up to his bunk and sat by him.

"If you don't want to talk I understand. But I just wanna make sure health wise nothing will prevent you from completing the mission and…"

He grabbed her hand. He said nothing. Just massaged her hand as he held it.

"Been through the wringer. Just want to be able to feel normal again. I'm not sick. I know that girl. And I'm feeling anxiety that she may know me. Under no circumstances does anyone but you know this. But I recognized that she's most likely the baby girl I abandoned some years ago. Thought she was dead but I was dead wrong. And now I know that fact. And you do too. But if you tell her or anyone...you won't be alive to tell anyone else…"

Zarya held onto every word. She was attentive. Not usually was she a good listener. However here? Here it was necessary.

"You thought she was dead…?"

"Yeah."

Zarya stared at their hands and squeezed them tight.

"I wont tell her, but you should,"

"I won't,"

"Then that is what you choose. To let her never know the truth."

Roadhog grunted.

"It is not right."

Roadhog looked at her. "If I wanted what was right I would have told all this to someone else."

And she went quiet. Zarya subconsciously rubbed his knuckles with her thumb. It made him stare. The sensation so gentle. Something he did not deserve. So why did she do it? And not knowing what else to do, he squeezed her hand delicately.

"...It is fair statement."

"hm,"

Zarya sighed. She stared at the floor.

"What happens if she finds out?" she asked.

Mako looked at the ceiling. "I won't let her."

"If she does?" Zarya asked again.

"I will probably avoid her more. I don't want to abandon her. Not again. But she's better off without me. I'm a bad man. I want her to have hope and a future with whatever she wants out of life. I doubt she could have that with me as part of it. I'm not worthy. Not after the things I did to her. She should get better," Roadhog said eyes shutting.

"You deserve to be happy too." Zarya argued. "Everyone does. I'm no person of philosophy but…" she thought a bit. "I don't think there would be as much evil if it weren't for people thinking they can't get better. People can change. And people have a right to try. Everyone owes it to themselves at least. I don't think anyone is past redeeming themselves." Zarya thought out loud.

"That's very glass half full of you," Roadhog answered dryly.

"I don't say what I don't mean."

He hummed. "Fair."

"Are you going to sleep?" she asked.

"I might be, but at the off chance I get sick again...do you think you could stay till I'm asleep?" he asked.

"A man like you fears the dark?" she teased.

"The silence actually."

And with that she stayed till she fell asleep as well.