Year One

By: MusketeerAdventure

Chapter Eight: The Passing of Breath

Summary: Rescue secured, Daniel attempts to gain clarity in reality and meaning in dreams. These are missing scenes from the season one episode, 'Thor's Hammer'.

The Labyrinth called to him, its mouth yawning- breathing out an invitation. The hammer poised overhead… urged him to re-enter the mountain. He wanted to go in, but found his body too weary to get up from the ground.

Besides, what would he gain from the exercise? What good would it do to revisit the agony of this long tortuous day, finally ended? What good indeed to dissect a day filled with uncertainty, fear and a renewed sense of optimism … that in the end only served to crush his resolve.

Revelations revealing truths he found difficult to understand or accept … feeling resentment for having to choose. He had done the right thing. He knew that but … deep down his guilt simmered and boiled.

Unconsciously Daniel rubbed his legs vigorously. They burned from many miles of walking, climbing hills, searching the rough terrain of Cimmeria for this very mountain. Searching for Jack and Teal'c; searching for Sha're as well. Always searching for Sha're.

Turning his back to the hammer, he shifted closer to the fire in order to catch its warmth; to help ease the cramps and spasms within his calves and thighs … his back; his heart. He had removed his boots hours ago to spread his toes, and massage the radiating ache at the bottom of his feet where blisters formed, painful and bleeding.

Doctor Carter sat across from him unmoving, lost in thought. She seemed immune to their long trek; her face blank as alabaster. He could not read her and was too tired to try. Their journey together had been fraught with contention. The ease between them upended.

Beside her Kendra sat … eyes closed, her face serenely lifted to the sky; the glow of firelight dancing on her bronze skin. She seemed at peace, and he envied her. A stiff breezed bent the flames and out in the distance he could hear a faint rumble of thunder. He wondered if Thor spoke to her of redemption.

Would not Thor speak to him, he thought – but just as quickly dismissed the query. He did not want redemption. He wanted answers, he wanted vengeance, and he wanted his life back.

Out in the darkness he could just make out Teal'c standing alert and ready for anything that might disturb their respite. His back was as straight as ever; his weapon curiously resting at his feet.

Perplexed, Daniel looked down into the palms of his hands. Strangely, he could still feel the phantom weight of Teal'c's staff weapon; the surge of power, his betrayal heavy in his grasp. What had he done?

Soft snores reached his ear, and Daniel frowned. Jack, asleep outside the circle of light sent trickles of irritation up and down his spine. How was it he could rest so soundly? How was it he could send him spiraling from the heights of hope to this despondency and still sleep? Was he not bothered by the day's events? Did he not realize what he asked of him?

But this mounting anger, growing minute by minute toward Jack could not equal the physical pain gathering in his throat; his chest. Soon this distress would overtake him. A tear escaped, and he swiped it quickly away. Gripping the bits and pieces of earth beneath him Daniel wanted to let go and weep. Right here, right now … weep with abandon under the stars, in front of his team, in front of Kendra.

Sucking in his breath, he pushed his anger aside. Thankfully, they had found Jack and Teal'c; rescued them from the Labyrinth – from certain death. Ashamed, he could not find it within himself to celebrate this success. How could he celebrate their survival when at the same time he condemned his wife to long, unimaginable suffering with no end in sight?

Bowing his head Daniel pulled in another breath, this time full and deep; then slowly exhaled with hopes to release the weight of anger, guilt and defeat off his chest. Only it did not expel, but remained embedded, hardening… festering.

He wanted to scream.

He wanted to stand and shout over the flames at Jack for choosing him to sacrifice Sha're's future. He wanted to rail at Teal'c for emerging as his friend when not so long ago, they existed as cautious allies. He wanted to rant at Doctor Carter for doubting what was right in front of her only because it had no name; and lash out at Kendra for giving him hope.

But most of all, he wanted to yell and berated himself for doing the right thing … for choosing Teal'c over her. Would she forgive him? Would she think his choice acceptable?

For the better part of the day, he had happily carried a sense of hope; grabbed onto a lifeline that promised a way for his family to survive this nightmare. Here on Cimmeria was the answer – the where with all to make everything right again. Something of the host survived. Kendra was the proof of that.

Hands trembling, he gripped them tightly together. Now what?

Surely a hammer must exist on other planets? Maybe they could salvage something of the technology? Maybe he hadn't completely destroyed it? Perhaps if he could get back inside the mountain there might be writings that could tell them more? What if….?

"You should rest", Kendra spoke softly breaking through his chaotic reverie.

Settling his swirling thoughts, Daniel looked back at her and laughed nervously, "I'm unable to rest. Unlike Jack who it seems can sleep through anything."

Tilting her head to the side, Kendra smiled; reached in her pouch for the ribbon devise and held his hand firmly. She sang a chanting, lilting tune that spoke of restoration and repair. Her voice … sweet, soothing and calm touched him deeply; bringing with it joyful visions of Sha're. Warmth flowed between them. Relieved, Daniel could feel his trembling cease, his aches and pains recede … his mind clear. "You are truly a great healer", he acknowledged and squeezed her hand in return; thankful he was no longer at war with his body.

"Tell me Kendra", he began with earnest. "You take counsel from Thor. Ask him will I find peace? Will I find Sha're? Can she be saved? Will my family reunite?"

Kendra lifted her hand to stay his frantic tirade. Embarrassed at his outburst he fell quiet and hid his face behind falling hair.

After several silent moments, he thought she would not answer, but then Daniel felt a crackle of electricity; and the earth tremble beneath him. Wary, he squeezed her hand tighter. The others seemed to have not noticed this shift in the air or earth. Jack slept on, Teal'c remained stoic beyond the fire and Doctor Carter threw sticks within the dwindling flames.

"If you lay down, close your eyes and open your mind, perhaps Thor will share meaning with you. Give you true vision and insight." Studying her closely Daniel could only sense sincerity and truth in her words. Eyes growing heavy, a fog descended and dulled his senses.

"Only perhaps?" he sighed disappointed and let her lead him down to lay his head on the ground.

Thor stood towering over him; hammer held over his head… hair swirling around his shoulders. Words passed his lips, but he did not understand. Thunder and lightning filled the Hall of Mjolnir; a cacophony of noise and light so loud and dazzling, that he covered his ears and closed his eyes. Then, instantaneously he was gone.

This was a dream.

He knew this with certainty as the Labyrinth tunnels spread out before him – winding, winding, and winding into infinity. Looking up, the sign of the hammer hovered and glowed white. Echoed sounds of growling howled around him and bounced off the walls. Scanning the great hall, he was overwhelmed with relief. The first one was nowhere in sight.

Just outside the entrance, beyond the hammer, the staccato noise of staff weapons and automatic gun fire reached his ear. Instinctively he winced and reached for his own weapon on his hip. But the fight raging on outside this place did not enter, so he stepped further in … ready to begin.

These endless tunnels were here for him to do …what?

This is how Thor must speak, he thought – in dreams; with imagery. Only where to start? Turning in circles he peered down each tunnel, and saw only darkness, until there in the distance was a dwelling tent swaying slightly in the breeze among the sands of Abydos.

Miraculously, standing within the flap was Sha're – smiling, gesturing for him to come. "Hurry Danyel" she called, her voice riding on the wind. Stepping out further, shielding her eyes from the sun she called again, this time more insistent. "Come in, the evening meal is ready. Father is already here."

With haste, heart skipping a beat, Daniel began to run, racing toward the tent – boots slip sliding hindered by the sand. Sha're turned away and entered their home – waiting inside to greet him. Waves of love assailed him, and he ran, ran, and ran – breathing rough and ragged; the Abydonian heat sapping his strength. Hair plastered to the sides of his face; cheeks flushed red he ran on.

Only no matter how hard he tried, how far he ran – he could not reach the tent. It eluded him time and again. The closer he got the further out of reach it drifted; the entrance flapping … she, just inside.

Stopping to catch his breath, the heat receded, the sand melted into stone and the tent vanished.

A new tunnel opened up before him, and there stood Teal'c – staff weapon in hand, a slight frown on his face, as if he'd been waiting for some time. "Follow me Daniel Jackson", he commanded. "We will find your wife together. I give you my word." Without hesitating, Daniel stood tall and nodded his assent. Looking back over his shoulder he saw no sign of his wife or their home; so trudged forward trusting in Teal'c's confidence.

Together, side by side, they traversed the Labyrinth; strides in sync – a comfortable silence between them.

Ahead movement could be heard. Teal'c placed a hand on his shoulder to halt his progress and instantly in their midst was Ammonet – haughty, austere; charcoal highlighting her glowing golden eyes. If only the hammer still worked, they could lead her there, remove her influence and bring his wife home.

By her side looming over her was the Unas – teeth bared; mocking him … his arm draped possessively across Ammonet's shoulder. His menacing intimacy was unmistakable and she did not turn it away. Fear enveloped him.

"Sha're" he whispered over Teal'c's shoulder – frozen, no time to move to plead that she recognize him; trust him and move away from the first one.

Swiftly without warning, she lifted her hand and unleashed the power of her hand devise – a ribbon of death searching him out. "I will not abandon you." Teal'c declared and raised his weapon in defense.

Daniel sat up, startled awake from his dream. Breathing in deeply he reached for his chest and could feel his heart pounding and hear blood rushing in his ears. The sun was up, the fire doused … he, the only one not standing, ready to depart.

Kneeling before him was Kendra – a curious expression on her face. "Tell me Daniel", she murmured, "what meaning has Thor shared with you?"

Daniel closed his eyes to think on it; to try and recall his race through sand … Sha're in the grips of Ammonet, dispassionate – alongside the first one; Teal'c by his side, standing between he and danger.

Staring back at her; brows furrowed, he shrugged; unease and fear lodged in the pit of his stomach. He felt sick and tasted bitter bile at the back of his throat. He swallowed it down with effort, attempting to shake the cobwebs from his brain.

"I'm not sure", he admitted. "I can't decipher it."

Kendra nodded with understanding and looked up at the swirling clouds. "In time, it will become clear.", she soothed and stood to her feet, the wind flowing strongly through her hair; the hem of her dress fluttering around her ankles.

Tugging his hat down on his head Jack bellowed from some feet away, "Come on Daniel, get it in gear – it's time to go home."

Thank you for taking a moment to read this chapter. Please leave a review to let me know what you think. Your comments and thoughts are very much appreciated!