a/n; This is the end! Thanks for reading and reviewing. I hope you enjoyed this little piece as much as I enjoyed writing it.
Chapter Seven: something new
The walk is not long. Under the shelter of night, it's almost like a dream.
Gale takes a seat near the base of the refuse hill, but far away enough to avoid staining their clothing. Katniss follows suit, taking a seat beside him. She waits expectantly for him to show her whatever it is that he brought her for.
"So?" she asks. "What is it?"
He clears his throat. "I've found that the stars are brighter here than anywhere else in the District. The trees in the forest hide them, and the Hob has too many lights." He leans his head back, gesturing above them.
Katniss blinks. "The stars?"
He shrugs. "I like to come out here when I can't sleep."
Katniss stares up at the night sky, the overwhelming number of stars flooding into her vision, making her dizzy.
"I didn't think you'd enjoy gazing at stars," she says softly.
"I think they're beautiful," he says, looking at her. "A bit ridiculous, I know, but, ah…" He scoffs a laugh. "I've never told anyone."
Katniss tries to quell the swelling occurring in her chest, but finds it's impossible. "It's not ridiculous."
He lies back, his body fully on the ground, his arms sprawled out to the sides. "You don't have to say that. It's a stupid habit. I think it's because I'm going to the mines soon, and looking at something so vast…helps."
She allows herself to sidle up beside him, and he tenses in surprise before he relaxes.
"I get it," she says. "I really don't think it's stupid. I've never taken the time to notice."
The endless bundle of lights twinkle down at them. Katniss is suddenly overwhelmed, the vertigo hitting her right between the eyes. She feels weightless, like gravity's fingers release her from earth. For a moment, she's falling into the night sky.
She takes a breath, steadying her mind.
"Makes you wonder what's out there, doesn't it?" he whispers. "Like maybe there's another universe, without districts and dictators and Reapings."
It's a fanciful thought—one she's never had before. With as many swirling stars that hang above them, as many bursts of bright colors and streaks in the sky, it's hard for her to fathom there isn't another universe out there, beyond their reaches.
"Another world," she whispers. "How amazing would that be?"
She finds she likes listening to Gale and his ideas. She's never been very open minded, and he makes her think about things she wouldn't otherwise.
After a while in silence, Gale says, "My father taught me how to find constellations before he died. I think that's why I like stars so much, too."
"Constellations?" Katniss asks.
"Yeah," he tells her. "They're different shapes stars make, like drawings. Some can give you direction if you're lost. Like…see that collection right there? It looks like a box?"
Katniss follows the line of his arm, her eyes trying to find where his finger is pointing. "I think so."
"And those stars right there, off that corner? It's called the Big Dipper. That bright star at the end is called the North Star, so you can find it if you lose your direction and orient yourself."
"The Big Dipper and North Star," Katniss repeats, eyeing the stars and memorizing their positions. She lets her head rest on Gale's shoulder, and finds it's easier to follow where he's pointing this way. She feels him stiffen under her for a moment before he relaxes.
He tells her about the Great Bear, which is a bigger constellation that holds the Big Dipper. He shows her Orion, which is a hunter.
"He's holding a bow. Do you see it? The line of stars to the right."
Katniss eyes the line of them and smiles. It takes a bit of imagination, but she can see them, lined up with a telltale convexity. "Yes, I see it."
"It's my favorite," Gale says. "Reminds me of you."
He says it forthrightly, without any pause as he continues with the next constellation, but Katniss looks at the side of his face, wondering if he even really knew what he said. Her stomach curls in on itself, and she watches the line of his jaw move as he tells her next about the Seated Queen, and how it looks like a misshapen W.
The last one he shows her is the Great Dog. It takes her a while to figure out how it's a dog.
"Is that supposed to be the tail?" she asks, and Gale starts chuckling at her measly attempts to see it.
"So the head is supposed to be there…" he says. "It makes a triangle."
Katniss is squinting. "You mean that?"
Gale laughs. "Yeah, see? The angle is funny, so the dog is upside down."
"Now you tell me."
He laughs some more, and she can hear it reverberating in his chest. It covers her with warmth, and it shocks her with how soothing it feels.
"Sorry. I'm not very good at explaining."
"No, you're not," she says, laying a hand on his stomach. "But that's doesn't bother me too much."
His smile seems to disappear at the touch of her hand, and he glances down to it. Oddly enough, he looks just as much out of his depth as she feels, and it surprises her because he's supposed to be used to things like girls placing their hands on him, isn't he? This reaction only tells her much more of how wrong she was in assuming.
He clears his throat, and if she concentrates she thinks she can feel the thunder of his heartbeat push into her palm.
"Good," he says, "Because I've never been too good at explaining anything."
They lay for a moment, and Katniss listens to the soft sounds of the night.
"Is this what you do with the girls you bring here? Teach them about the constellations and how you like to gaze at the stars?"
She's mostly teasing him, but she feels him shift uncomfortably underneath her.
"I know you probably won't believe me, but…no. Actually, you're the first one I've talked to about the constellations. And the star gazing—it's kind of embarrassing. And to be completely honest…" he trails for a moment, sighing. "The two other girls I brought here didn't much care for talking."
Katniss thinks on this for a moment. "No, I believe you," she says. "Girls like to start rumors. They always made me think you liked to get with as many girls as you could."
She can see him frown out of the corner of her eyes. "I…flirt a lot. Or, I did flirt a lot. I always thought it was harmless. I know I already told you, but when girls started to notice me, I…thought it was fun. I've made out with a few—the two girls here at the slag heap and a few others—but never anything serious. And you were right before. I got a big head. I could be an arrogant jackass. I…"
Katniss curls the hand that's on his stomach, and it pauses his spout of words.
"You're not so bad," she says softly. It amazes her at how strongly she feels about that. He's not bad at all. He's kind, and thoughtful, and more of a gentleman than she could have expected.
"I'm glad you tore me down on the night of that first dance," he admits, his chest rising in a sigh. "I needed it. I thought about your words for weeks."
Katniss blinks. "You did?"
"It was hard not to," he says. "Mostly because I knew they were true to a certain extent. And because it was you who told them to me."
Katniss looks up to him, but he's glancing up to the stars. She sees his throat bob in a swallow.
"Why did it matter that it was me who told you?"
"Oh, you know," he says. "When you care about someone's opinion…it affects you more."
Katniss thinks about how his opinion affected her, and she hadn't even known she cared about his opinion in the first place.
She mulls over his words for a while, adjusting her head so that her ear is next to his chest. She can hear his breathing and his heartbeat, and she doesn't think she's been this close to another person who wasn't family. She thinks it should unsettle her, but she feels as though she's not meant to be anywhere else.
Eventually, she says, "Thank you."
She isn't sure why, necessarily, but the words seem right, because he's given her a lot of things this evening that she didn't realize she could want or feel. Her insides burst with overwhelming affection.
"You're welcome," he mumbles. "Thank you for coming with me."
By the time they leave the slag heap, it's nearing midnight. He walks her home, and she allows him to hold her hand the entire way. They don't speak much as they walk, but they don't have to. Katniss is more than content to let the warmth of his hand linger in her own, to steal glances at Gale, and to bask in this feeling just a little longer.
When they arrive at her front door, Gale reluctantly lets go of her hand and stands before her. She holds her hands in front of her, awkward and uncertain of what to do with them now that they're free from his grasp.
"I guess…" he starts, glancing off to the side and running a hand through his hair. "I guess this is goodnight, then."
She smiles a little at how hesitant he seems to be. He has been so vulnerable this entire evening—so unlike how she's perceived him before, and to be able to see him so clearly right now, under the midnight moon.
"I guess it is," she says.
They gaze at each other for a moment longer, before Gale says, "Listen, would you—do you—I mean, would you like to have dinner sometime? We could go to the Hob, and I think we're both on good terms with Sae. I'm starting the mines next week, but we could go whenever I get off, if…if you would like to."
Katniss swells at the question, imagining what it would be like to see him outside of the auditorium, to be with one another just as they had been tonight. It will be different—a different tempo and a different rhythm, but, she thinks, a welcome one all the same.
"I would like to," she answers.
His shoulders fall in relief, and he smiles. "Alright. Then it's—I'll call on you."
She steps forward and stands in front of him. "That sounds just fine."
"Any particular day?"
"Any day works for me."
"Tomorrow, then?" he asks, smiling.
With a streak of the courage she had been lacking, Katniss steps another foot forward and rises on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek. She nearly kisses the corner of his mouth, but neither seem to mind it.
"Tomorrow," she whispers in agreement.
They linger close, and she's breathing his air again, and she doesn't mind it, again. She wonders if he'll kiss her, and the mere thought makes her heart jump.
Instead, he smiles and says, "I'll see you tomorrow, Catnip."
The nickname doesn't even bother her. It's swathed in fondness, and his eyes gleam as he turns away from her, heading home down the road.
The Katniss from two years ago would be disgusted with herself right now, watching Gale Hawthorne leave her with the promise of a date in the near future, with her eyes shining and mind foggy with euphoria. This Katniss who lets herself feel these emotions that were once shoved into a box and put up on the high shelf, not to be disturbed. Now she's wading, half-submerged in this well of emotions, and she isn't dead yet. In fact, she's more alive than she's ever been.
She sighs, and walks through the threshold of her house, sneaking quietly into bed, and looking forward to learning this new dance with Gale. Never did she think she'd look forward to learning a dance, but there it is. A new dance, with one partner she gets to keep for herself.
She guesses Prim was right after all.