No, It Can't Wait

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He says he'll be here when she needs him. So why does it feel like he's so far away? Shepard/Garrus, ME2.

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Disclaimer: This author in no way profits from the writing of this story. All characters, dialogue, or other referenced material from the Mass Effect trilogy belong to Bioware.

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"Can it wait for a bit? I'm in the middle of some calibrations." His fingers never stop their movements at the console.

She stares at his back for a long moment. "I…" She slumps. "I'll let you work."

He turns his head to call back, "I'll be here if you need me."

Shepard's heart clenches. "Will you?" she mutters, turning to go.

Garrus turns as the door opens. "What was that?" he asks.

Shepard stares at him. The door slides closed behind her.

"You always say you're here when I need you," she says, her chest tightening until she knows it's going to burst. "But you're not!" Angry tears spring into her eyes. "I needed you when I woke up from the dead surrounded by strangers. I needed you after Horizon! You're always too busy with your damn guns." She swipes an arm roughly across her eyes, hoping he doesn't see the tears.

His mandibles flutter in shock. The rest of him stands frozen. Garrus feels his mind racing, his heart aching. How can he have been so blind?

She's trembling now, staring at him. He looks her over, more carefully than he has since she found him on Omega. She's paler than before, thinner. Her fringe has less shine. And the dark circles under her eyes tell the story of how she's been sleeping.

"Why?" she asks desperately. "Why have you been avoiding me? Damn it, Garrus, I need my friend. I need you." The tears begin to spill out, and she whips around quickly, trying to hide.

Now he feels lower than ever. That's the crux of the matter, isn't it? Her friend. She needs her friend.

Turians don't hug much, but for this human he's willing to try. He grasps her shoulder, turns her around, and pulls her close, pressing her up against his armor. One arm around her body, one hand cradling her head. "I'm sorry," he says, his subvocals singing his sorrow. "I'm sorry."

Her little arms wrap around him too, tightening on his armor until he can feel it. "Why?" she asks again. It's a moment before he answers.

"I've been… wrapped up in looking for Sidonis," he finally says. "I've been focused on my own problems. And the guns…" How can he explain himself? "I just want to make sure the Normandy is safe." That you're safe. "I need to know I'm doing everything I can."

"Is that all?" she asks, her brow wrinkling as she looks up at him. "It seems like there's more to it. I… I feel like you've been avoiding me."

Turians aren't good liars.

Among their own kind, subvocals often give them away. It's hard to suppress strong emotions. Another turian would probably catch his hesitation and not press the issue. But humans always press. They always want to know more.

Disentangling himself from her arms, he paces. She watches him go back and forth. The tears are gone, but replacing them is a look of worry.

"I've developed inappropriate feelings for you," he spits out in a rush, stopping in front of her.

She tilts her head in confusion. "You have feelings for me?" She pauses a moment. "Like, romantic feelings?"

"Yes," he admits, and both relief and absolute terror course through him. He doesn't have to keep his secret anymore, but spirits! What if she hates him for it? What if she laughs?

"You've been avoiding me because you have feelings for me." It's not really a question, but he still feels compelled to explain.

"I didn't want to disrupt the mission or make you uncomfortable," he says. "I remember what it was like on the first Normandy."

With both Kaidan and Liara chasing her, it had created some awkward moments and tension within the team. He doesn't want to be the cause of that.

She steps forward into his space, so close that he nearly backs away. "You don't have to worry about making me uncomfortable," she says, and places a hand on his arm. "Not you, Garrus."

"It doesn't bother you?"

"No," she says firmly, holding his gaze. "I'm… glad. You're not the only one with feelings."

He stares at her in something like awe. "You would want that? With me?"

"You're the best friend I have left in the galaxy. Who else would I want it with?" She stares up at him with large, serious eyes, and he hardly knows what to say.

"I… thought you would rather have something closer to home," he manages. "With Jacob and Kelly throwing themselves at you, not to mention Liara and Thane…"

"I don't want closer to home," she interrupts. "I'd rather have someone I trust."

"I can do that," he says, shocked, relieved, and unbelievably happy.

"And you'll stop avoiding me?" she asks.

"Definitely," he says, laughing a little.

She smiles at the sound. "Good."

"So what did you need when you came in here?" he asks, and she steps right back into his arms.

"You," she says against his cowl. "Just you."

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