Author's Notes…

I am incredibly sorry about the delay. I honestly was suffering from a major writer's block for all of my stories. Depression plus a ton of schoolwork was not helping. But I am so glad the new year is here, and I want to thank everyone who was so supportive for me last year! You guys are honestly the best! You really do keep me going! I feel like this often comes as a platitude from authors, but I genuinely mean that from the bottom of my heart. It's always like at the worst of moments that I'll get a really kind word from one of you to lift my spirits. It goes a long way toward inspiration.

For those of you who don't read my other works, Sitrine is a popular original character, and so I like to include him in all my stories.

Wishing you guys a happy new year!

For Carla

Chocolate

Chapter Seventeen

You're Different

French toast sizzled on a pan.

Rey sat at Ben's table in his kitchen nook, her chin resting on her upturned palm, her eyes on the man at the stove. His back was turned to her, so she could observe the broad slope of his shoulders and the wings of his shoulder blades sticking out of his dark grey pajama shirt. His bare feet were elegant against the hardwood floor, and Rey could personally attest to the fact that those sleeping pants were as comfortable as they looked.

A glass of homemade orange juice was to her left, a bowl of fresh fruit to her right, and the morning's newspaper in front of her, opened to the crossword puzzle with a mechanical pencil. The rest of the table was covered in pancakes and what Rey suspected was gourmet syrup in a small, glass pitcher, along with bacon, toast, and eggs. Simple foods, but an impressive display nonetheless.

"A few things," Rey began.

"I don't suppose letting me do something nice for you would be possible?" Ben muttered.

Rey let that one slide and started with the first thing on her mind. "You didn't say you could cook."

"Impossible. I'm sure it came up at some point."

"If it did, I'm sure I forgot it immediately because we always go out to eat for dinner or have carryout. If we didn't exercise constantly, I'd have gained twenty pounds by now."

"Fine. What else?"

"Can I expect this treatment every morning I'm here, or is this merely the red-carpet event to welcome my first night as an official resident in our apartment?"

Ben shrugged one shoulder, placing the French toast on a plate before adding new bread to the frying pan. "I like to cook."

Rey frowned.

He glanced at her and raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"I'm just wondering how you're so bloody perfect. My only consolation is your cowlick and the pillow lines on your face." She eyed where his hair was sticking up at the back of his head.

It was his turn to frown. "…Thank you?" he asked uncertainly.

She grinned and dug into the food.

Precisely Three Hours Later

"I'm sorry, what am I here for again?"

"I'm freaking out, you have to help me!" Rey shut the front door, locked it, and then grabbed Finn by the arms. "We've been in a relationship for a few months now—I can't remember the last time I was in a relationship—and now I'm living in his flat! Look at it! It's immaculate! And his office is a shrine to Ashley bloody Hayden—"

"I KNEW IT!"

Rey broke off her rambling to stare. "Knew what?"

"The other day, at the nail salon! When I said you were panicked, too, about being in a couple! Ha! Can't fool me!"

Rey growled and jerked him forward, and Finn flailed so he wouldn't fall over. "Listen! We can throw the 'I told you so' party later, but right now, I need answers! Advice! You're always giving it away unsolicited, well, here's your chance!"

Her friend narrowed his eyes shrewdly. His chin jerked up. "All right. Fine. But I want chocolate cupcakes with strawberry frosting. And from the good bakery, not the one on 10th and Beverly. I can taste the difference."

Rey refrained from rolling her eyes.

Barely.

"Look—just—look at this place!" Rey gestured. "I can't live in a place this posh! I'm bound to bugger it up somehow! And did I mention the Ashley Hayden thing?"

"So what? You've known about that the whole time." Finn's brow arched.

"It was easy to forget about it because we don't talk about his writing."

"What? Why not? That's kinda, like, an important part of his life, don't you think?"

"He gets embarrassed about it, so I don't push. I don't like it when people push on stuff I don't want to talk about." When Finn mumbled something like, "Touché," Rey stomped over to the coffee table in the center of the living room and opened a giant box. She held up the latest installment in Ben's romance series. "Books for him to sign!"

"Are you wet?"

"Basically!"

Finn chuckled. "I just had a girl move in with me, too, you know. I'm in the same situation. What do you think I can do?"

Rey sighed and collapsed onto the couch. "I suppose that's fair."

He eyeballed the white carpet of the living room. "Are you terrified to eat in here?"

"I'm terrified to breathe in here. Which reminds me: take off your shoes before you step down, will you?"

Finn eyeballed the shrine to Rey's favorite author—she winced inwardly; that favorite author was Ben, and would she ever get her mind around that?—with a mixture of suspicion and reluctant approval. Rey didn't know what that was about. Which made it the time to ask.

"Why don't you like Ben?"

He jerked, startled by the question. "When did I ever say that? I gave the guy your phone number! I practically set you up together! Remember, I'm the one who sent him to your fencing classroom when you were avoiding him!"

"Right." Rey narrowed her eyes. He made some good points. Was she entirely convinced, however? No. "Because you want me to be happy."

"Exactly! Glad we're on the same page."

Her eyes narrowed further.

He pretended not to notice and pulled The Pirate's Bounty off the second shelf. It was a first edition. Rey knew. She had one at home. Not that it mattered overly much at the moment. It was only two-years-old.

"It's hard to imagine McCreepy—"

"I told you to stop calling him that," she said automatically.

"—writing romance novels. What's with this cover, though?" he muttered.

"What do you mean?"

"It's just an old-fashioned ship at sea. There's no woman with breasts about to pop out of her corset." Finn gestured at his chest, jiggling his hands in a motion that Rey assumed was, indeed, near to breasts popping out of a corset. "With a pirate with his shirt all open, baring his naked, muscular chest, which is somehow hairless despite the time era."

Rey paused. "…Do you want to tell me something?"

"Tell you what?" He tilted his head.

She pointed to the cover of the book. "It's just that you spent more time describing what the man was supposed to look like than the woman." Her lips twitched. "What's next, the way his long, golden locks shimmer behind him in a non-existent wind?"

Finn shoved the book back where it belonged. "I hate you," he said in a dead voice.

"The full curve of his lips?"

"The bit's over, Rey."

"Or maybe the way his bicep flexes in order to hold the fair maiden in his arms?"

The dirty look he gave her just made her laugh harder.

Silence pervaded the office/Rey's library.

The manuscript was innocuous as it stared up at the duo from Ben's desk.

"It looks like it's only a chapter long," Finn whispered. "We should read it."

Rey went to chew on her thumbnail—remembered her manicure—and then shook her head. "No. I can't do it. It's invading his privacy. It'd be like reading his journal, if he kept one."

"How is that even close to the same thing?"

"Well—he's really self-conscious about his writing—"

"Rey, it's going to be published!"

"It's not even in it's final form yet! We don't know it's not going through editing! It must be, look at it!"

"Well, if you won't, I will!"

"No—Finn, put it down!"

A struggle ensued.

It shouldn't have come as a surprise when the papers abruptly ripped in half, but the two still stared at one another, horrified.

"Oh, shite," Rey breathed.

"What do you think his password is?!" Rey shoved her fingers into her hair and tried not to let the total panic rising inside of her consume her. Her right foot jiggled against the floor like someone had shot her up with—something—she didn't know what, she didn't do drugs, what were the ones that made you hyped up like a mental person?! Christ, how would she explain this to Ben?!

"No idea," Finn said from behind her. They were staring at the password screen of Ben's laptop, which was solid black. "I still vote you just tell him what happened."

"Absolutely not!"

"It'd be waaay easier than going through his computer files, trying to find which one it even was, and printing it out. Do you remember what the first page said?"

"Ummm… no, damn it." She shut the laptop and slumped in the desk chair. "What do we do?"

"'Scuuuuse me." A tall man with wavy, chestnut brown hair tied back in a man-bun leaned over her chair and flipped the laptop open. She shrieked along with Finn, scrambling out of her chair to join her friend beside the office window. As her eyes roamed over the room for something to attack the newcomer with, the man sat in the now unoccupied chair and looked at them expectantly with a lazy grin. "Well, shall we get on with it?"

"…Do you know this man?" Finn whispered.

Rey jerked her head in the negative, and they held onto one another more tightly.

All right. Well. One of them had to be brave. Clearly, it wasn't going to be Finn.

"Who are you?" she asked in her best I-Will-Cut-You voice.

"Sitrine," the man said merrily.

"Oh, thank Christ," Rey said, releasing Finn as relief flooded her. "How did you get in here? And I thought your flight didn't arrive until tomorrow!"

"And I thought you said you didn't know him?!" Finn shrilled, confused.

"I don't," Rey replied. She was still trying to achieve a normal heartrate. "Ben's expecting him. They're… best mates or something." She straightened once she'd gathered her breath. "This is Finn. I'm Rey."

"I certainly hope so. It'd be awkward if I had to tell Ben there were two people attempting to rob his flat today." Green eyes flicked over Finn and Rey with amusement. The barest hint of stubble adorned a face slightly too pretty to be called handsome, slightly too masculine to be called beautiful. With the long lashes, the tall, slightly muscular frame, and the J. Crew style, Rey assumed he had people lined up and down the block for him.

It immediately made her want to stamp on his ego.

But he was dripping charisma.

"Prettiest in your class?" Rey smiled.

Finn's mouth dropped open a little.

Sitrine smiled back. "You don't like me."

"Oh, no. What gave it away?"

Finn cleared his throat. "Hey, um… Rey…"

"Do people hate to love you or love to hate you?" Rey asked.

"Both." Sitrine's smile broadened.

"And Ben?"

"Both," he repeated. The smile grew wicked, and the brunet waggled his eyebrows.

Rey cast him an exasperated look.

"See, I made you like me already." Sitrine beamed sunnily.

She didn't say anything because… well. It was true. Just a little.

"I couldn't help but overhear your plight," he said. His expression grew thoughtful. "And see it. Tricky situation, that…"

Finn rolled his eyes with a groan. "People, all we have to do is tell him what happened—"

"But fortunately, I know his password, which hasn't changed since he was twelve and still in love with dinosaurs. I also happen to know what chapter he was working on. You're in luck—it was the first. As for how I got in… well, I have a key to this apartment." Sitrine winked. "Aren't you glad I decided I couldn't wait another moment to see your lover boy?"

As Sitrine tapped Ben's password into the laptop, Rey turned to Finn.

"I hate him," she said.

"I know," he replied.

"But he's sort of fabulous, isn't he?"

They watched him work in silence.

The front door opened, admitting a worn-out Ben Solo, who was already pulling his messenger bag off his shoulder and sliding his fingers through his hair. Finn's laughter caught his attention, startling him, and Rey waved at him from the kitchen. A box of pizza was open on the table. Sitrine, Finn, and Rey stood gathered around it.

"I see you met Sitrine," he said.

"BEN!" Sitrine threw himself across the apartment and into Ben's arms—or he would have, if Ben hadn't sidestepped him entirely. Finn and Rey doubled over in laughter as Sitrine sprawled dramatically on the floor and pouted. "What was that for?"

"I could ask you the same question." Ben bent to kiss Rey on the cheek. "And how was your day?"

"Surprising," Rey chuckled. "Oh, by the way, Finn and I had a squabble over whether we should read the manuscript you left out."

He hesitated. "…Okay."

Finn paused with a piece of pizza halfway to his mouth.

"Then we ripped it in half in the ensuing fight—"

"It looked rather ghastly," Sitrine chipped in as he sat up.

"—and hacked into your laptop—"

"Is it really hacking if you know the password, though?" Sitrine questioned.

"Yes," Ben and Finn said in unison.

"—found the file, since Sitrine knew it—"

"Aren't you glad you tell me everything?" Sitrine made a kissy face.

"—printed it out, put it on your desk spick and span, and now here we are." Rey took a bite out of her slice of pizza and gave him the thumbs-up. "This is really good, by the way."

Finn's jaw fell open for the second time that day. "What was the point of going through all that if you were just going to tell him in the end, anyway?!" He tsked. "Man, I told you to just tell him!"

Ben studied her for a long moment. "Did you read it?"

"I really wanted to," she confessed.

Finn nodded agreeably. "She really did. I told her she should."

"I would have, too, but I didn't want them to know I was there yet, so I was trying to influence her psychically." Sitrine wiggled his fingers at Rey. Was he ever going to get off the floor and return to the kitchen?

"But I didn't." Rey picked pepperoni off her pizza and held it up to his mouth.

Ben took it and nipped her finger. While he chewed, Finn groaned for them to get a room and Sitrine whistled. Gits.

"Oh, shut it, it's not like we're snogging," Rey retorted. Her finger was tingling, and there was an impish but grateful twinkle to Ben's eyes. She smiled back at him, just glad that her knees didn't give out on her anymore. At least, not enough to bring her down.

"You owe me fifty dollars, mate." Sitrine jumped to his feet. He pointed to his head.

"I don't owe you shit," Ben said with a dismissive snort.

Sitrine gaped. "Wha—excuse me, sir!" He grabbed his man-bun. "You said I would never grow my hair out this long and look this pretentious, and I did—do! And the deal was, I got fifty dollars!"

"No, the deal was that you show up a week from now, and I get to enjoy a week to myself with my girlfriend in our apartment. You've canceled out your fifty dollars."

"You weren't going to work this week?" Rey muttered.

"Not while you were home, no," Ben muttered back.

Awh, she thought.

"Fine," Sitrine said, with the most dramatic eyeroll possible. Rey, who had heretofore considered hers unrivaled, was privately impressed. "Won't you introduce me properly, then?"

"This is Sitrine," Ben drawled. "Which you already know."

"Yes, yes, and the rest?"

"I met him in London one summer while I was researching one of my novels." Ben was growing impatient. Unless it was with Rey, he didn't like speaking this much at one time. He preferred to be the backdrop of the conversation, if he had to be there at all. It was something she had come to notice slowly, as they were rarely around other people.

"And then he ran into moi." Sitrine grinned. "Much to his chagrin."

"I couldn't get rid of him."

"It turned out we were both writing, and we've been the best of friends ever since! If there's anything you need to know about Ben, just ask me!"

"I need to change," Ben murmured to Rey. "Be right back."

Sitrine waited until Ben was gone to say, "Remember when I said he both loves to hate me and hates to love me?"

"Yeah, I feel that," Rey said, nodding.

"Oh, shit, I just saw the time!" Finn gripped Rey's shoulder as he slipped around her. "I gotta jet! Text me!"

"All right!" she called after him.

"He's cute," Sitrine said once the door had closed.

"And taken."

"First Ben, then you, now this Finn fellow… Whatever will I do?" Sitrine sighed.

Rey rolled her eyes and put some pizza for Ben on a plate before shutting the box. She reached into the refrigerator for another can of soda. "You're ridiculous. You said you write, too?"

Ben snugged an arm around Rey's waist and pressed his lips to the back of her shoulder. He had the most comfortable bed in existence. His blankets and sheets weren't so bad, either. It made it difficult to climb out of them in the morning. How she'd managed so easily that initial morning, when this had all begun, she didn't know. Adrenaline?

"Are you okay?" he whispered.

She knew he was referring to the fact that she was in a new home, with a man she was in a relationship with, for the first time in her life. "I think so," she said honestly. "It feels like it."

"I'm sorry I wasn't here today. I was making sure things were lined up for this week."

"Oh, don't worry about that. I had fun." And she had.

His thumb stroked along the underside of her arm. "…Do you like Sitrine?" He sounded so genuinely concerned that Rey rolled over to face him, the sheets rustling. In the dark, it was difficult to see his face, but she thought she could make out a frown.

"You care what I think about your friends?" She grasped his hand and held it between them.

"I do," he said slowly. "But it's only because I have two—and because without them, and without you, I'd be…"

"What?"

"Just… swimming—in a dark void. With no way out." His voice had grown strained. His fingers trembled in hers. She instantly held onto them more tightly. "If I—if I see some sort of light… I follow it. It's only ever happened twice. Until…"

"Until me?" Rey whispered.

"Yes. But you were—you're… different."

"Different?"

His fingers soothed into her hair until his hand cupped behind her ear. He tilted her face up. Her eyes had grown adjusted enough to the darkness now that his features were more visible. His face was serious, though his lips carried the faint tremble that his fingers had.

"I'll do anything to follow your light," he said softly. "To keep it. It's so warm, Rey."

She dropped her forehead onto his shoulder and closed her eyes.

She remembered when he had told her he'd do anything to stay in her life, even if it was just as friends.

"I like Sitrine," she told him. "In the way that you like Sitrine. What's your other friend like?"

"He's quiet, like me."

Okay… She supposed she'd find out more whenever she met the individual. "Then doesn't it seem more like you guys tolerate Sitrine?"

"I do tolerate him," Ben said. "Most days I want to kill him."

"But?"

"But he's… Sitrine."

Rey smiled. "Well… how are you, then? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." He kissed her hair.

"I know it's your first time living with a significant other, too, Solo."

"I'm the one who asked you to move in, Kenobi."

"There's such a thing as regret, So—looo, no, don't tickle meee—Ben! No! Stop!" Rey shrieked, her giggles pealing through the apartment.

Went to get bagels,

-B

Rey smiled at the note on the table and opened the refrigerator to find the orange juice. It suited her just fine if Ben was out. That gave her time to shower and put herself to rights. Just now, she was in a robe, a camisole, low slung pajama buttons, and slippers. Her hair was quite the untidy pile listing to the side of her head, and she was still squinting as she tried to adjust to being awake.

Orange juice acquired, she shut the door.

Sitrine, arms folded across his broad chest, grinned at her.

Rey yelled and fought not to drop the juice, scrambling to grab ahold of the counter. God Almighty, she thought she'd been the only one in the flat! He had to stop doing that! He was going to give her a heart attack!

His expression sobered. He had the decency to wait for her to gather her composure before he got to the point of his arrival.

"He's in love with you. But I'm sure you know that. Right?"

Rey's heart leapt to her throat. "I—"

Slam!

Sitrine and Rey jumped and whirled to the front door. Ben's eyes were a little too bright as he came in, setting down a bag of bagels and unwinding his scarf and removing his jacket. Once his shoes were off, he went to the kitchen with the bagels and deposited them in front of Rey on the counter. He kissed her hair and then departed, disappearing around the corner. The door to the office shut a moment later.

Rey hesitated. "Do you think he—?"

"Heard everything, then pretended he just came in and is now in his office, completely freaking out? Yes. Yes, I do."

"Fantastic!" Rey beamed.

Bloody fantastic.