Sorry, it's been two weeks. I kept editing this chapter but it still didn't come out quite right. Sorry for the mistakes.

A man of Wei named Tung Men-wu did not grieve when his son died. "You loved your son as no other father has in the world," said his wife. "Now he has died, but you do not grieve. Why?"

"There was a time in life," replied Tung Men-wu, "when I had never had a son. I did not grieve then. Now that he is dead, it is the same as when I had no son. What have I to grieve for?"

-Lieh Tzu

Chapter 1 - The dead

Her shoes are small and tight.

She's glad; she doesn't want anyone else in them.

Even her brother, her twin brother (and how funny is that a twin really?) can't fit in the bound fabrics and he's an infant just as she.

Though she's not really an infant.

Kouai… well, Kouai is Kouai (but not really). An infant but not; yet... still on all accounts Ren Kouai is the first daughter of Ren Koutoku.

It's strange to think of it like that, but the too-tight shoes are also strange, and Kouai doesn't like to think about either.

Really, she just wants her brother to go away.

He's annoying and makes her think of gnats and flies; all are small creatures that refuse to leave you alone.

His weight on her back flops her to the hard sanded floor in an ungraceful 'oof' and Kouai with all the might of an 11-month-old, she slaps him across the face.

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He cries.

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How annoying.

It couldn't have been that hard.

He wiggles around on the floor face wet and covered with mucus and spit as his tiny body tries to cough up some sort of inner pain from the betrayal.

Et tu, Brute?

More, like 'Et tu, Kouai?' But that doesn't have the same ring to it. Besides, it's not that bad of an assault.

Her eyes roll at his grabby hands because she was right; he had cried more out of shock than anything else. Being, the almost-adult she personally knows she is, Kouai acquiesces and allows herself to curl in his grip, doing her best to amend for the undeserving smack. Though she privately still believes he deserved it.

"Ai." he butchers her name, and she scowls.

"Kouen." She says back because she's 'not' a real infant and refuses to speak like one. Even though her pronunciation is still babyish, but she won't admit it.

"Sowrry." He says, and Kouai allows herself to fall deeper into his hold. "Wha dwid I dwo wong?"

For not even a year old he's smart, it makes Kouai suspicious. Sometimes she wonders if he's more alike to her than being just twins. Although, she would never ask such a thing.

"Eh, who knows." She admits. "I'm violent."

His baby forehead wrinkles and she thinks it looks strange. Babies shouldn't have wrinkles.

"Stop it." She smacks his forehead, lighter this time, she knows it won't hurt.

He looks at her again with betrayal, eyes so wide it covers over half his face. Kouai thinks it looks vaguely disturbing.

"Don't make that face." She tells him, then adds, "Or you might stay ugly like that."

His eyes widen again before his facial muscles relax. "O-kay…" He whispers quietly attempting to fit in the crook of her neck as his forehead turns red from the smack. He can't quite get his head to fit, it's too big and her neck too short.

"Children," It's a gentle call, it can only be their mother. "You have to go to bed soon."

That's one of the worst things about being a baby; listening to people.

Kouai can't help but make trouble when people tell her what to do.

They don't understand.

It's the same thing she said back in her world as she hit the teens, no, even before that she was convinced she knew better than adults.

But now, well, not she can't even relieve herself or have time alone.

Kouai feels almost paralyzed, trapped in her wood bar crib with another child who sucks on her hair and fingers.

She feels, bitterness when she thinks to the old days. Sometimes she can't stop her mind, it gets up on it's own two feet and walks back to the iron bolted doors locked over her real sibling and her real life.

"Ai.." Kouen reaches for his sister's face in the dark. He accidentally pokes her eye. "Wahy cry?"

Kouai turns to her brother. She can only make him out as a lump in the dark, but his hand continues to feel her face.

She feels, immature, as she plays little games with the infant beside her, or wrestles in the warm sun.

But most of all, Kouai feels hate.

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Kouen is a whiny brat, but Kouai decides that she likes him nonetheless.

It's endearing almost, if not completely annoying. Kouai never spent time around young children and now she's one herself, it would be comical if it were a joke. Unfortunately, it still seems quite real.

"Oro." She sighs. It's rather boring to be a baby. There's not much to do, her body can't move like before, her brain is even slower than before. She can feel it work like mush whenever she thinks too hard and gets a headache from the very process.

Kouen smacks her forehead.

"Oi!" She shouts "What was that for?!"

He reels back till he falls over. Kouai feels a tinge of guilt for yelling but refuses to abate her anger and draws her lips down in a childish pout that she thinks is quite scary (it's not).

"Sworry." He says, his pronunciation no better than months before. "Was winkly." Kouen reaches out a pudgy finger to the place he smacked. It doesn't hurt this time, his hand is soft and fat. He takes his other hand and balls a fist of her red hair. They're twins, but they don't look all that similar. As far as coloring goes her redhead is a lighter shade while her matching red eyes are darker. When she first saw her appearance it was a bit scary. She had always associated red eyes with devils and monsters. Heh, maybe it was a sign.

Kouen's eyes were lighter, pinker, while his hair was a darker red. HIs face was wider it made him look fat, and she called him chubby until he got a complex.

"Chubby." She said it again now as retaliation for his smack.

"No Ai!" he cried clutching on her multiple layers of robes. That was one good thing she supposed, at least she was rich eh? Well, she didn't know how rich but most of her mother's jewelry looked gold so she guessed that they were comfortable, like 100 mattresses comfortable, princess in the pea style. She had the sudden urge to ask for 100 mattresses, not that she even slept in a bed. No, she still slept in a crib, and still with her brother nonetheless because he was an actual baby that cried and needed constant attention like a brat.

She poked his round tummy. "Totally chubby."

"No!" He wrapped his arms around his stomach defensively.

She laughed at the notion as if that would stop her.

This kid's gonna have problems when he grows up

Her fingers reached through the empty spots above and below his arms and tickled him mercilessly.

He held his giggles for a good five seconds before laughing hysterically.

Yes, it was times like these where she decided that she liked her brother.

"Aww" a voice interrupted their play, it wasn't their mother. "I have such cute cousins."

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Kouai looked up first and quite rudely said: "Who the hell are you?"

"AH!" The boy looked away as if embarrassed. "Such language."

She furrowed her eyebrows and before Kouen could smack her forehead she hit his hand away. "Only I can do that." She said releasing her little brother's arm.

"Do what?" The suspicious stranger asked.

"None of your business." She quickly stated; she felt stubborn and bratty, especially when faced with another child. Such was reflected by how she treated poor Kouen.

"But... you're uncle's kids right?" The boy asked, his head tilted in a way many people would think was cute but Kouai was already attacked every day by her brother trying to do the same thing, at this point, she was immune to all cuteness ever.

"You're gonna have to be more specific than that." She said it was a lie. She wasn't deaf he had said he was their cousin before, she knew her father had a brother. Not that she had ever met him, and she didn't see her father much either.

"Uncle Koutoku!" The boy yipped and came out from behind the door. He was short, and young, a few years older than them maybe. His hair was a bluish black and cut short till it spoofed up on the top of his head.

"Eh?" she started scratching her cheek. "Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's our father."

"Pretty sure?!" the boy asked walking closer. Kouen clutched the back of her clothes, it wasn't often people visited them. She could count the times on one hand of people who visited and weren't maids or servants. And father, well Kouai had figured by now that he wasn't much of a father, she couldn't even remember his face. If it weren't for mother she would think he was out of the picture or dead.

"I'm kidding." She waved off.

"I'm Hakuren." He smiled till his eyes got lost in the folds. "Nice to meet you, Kidding." he held out a small hand.

Wow, that was... terrible, was that on purpose?

"Eww no!" She said. "My name is Kouai, you idiot." She smacked his hand away.

Kouen tugged on the back of her robes. She shrugged him off till he let go.

"This is my younger brother Kouen." She introduced him seeing as he wouldn't step out from behind her.

"I'm older!" He protested finding his voice at her false declaration.

"As if." Kouai huffed.

"I'm older than you!" Kouen pouted again.

"Sure," she started, "if you were me you'd be older."

"No!" He huffed and went back behind her back as she smacked his forehead.

"Ah!" Hakuren, the bedroom invader interrupted their spout once more. "My cousins are so cute!"

Kouai made the ugliest face she could.

Hakuren squealed like a fangirl.

What a weirdo.

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Kouai scowled as Kouen played with her hair. His fingers were no doubt dirty, probably covered in snot too, and she'd bet her life that he had them in his mouth no more than ten minutes ago.

Their mother sat in front of them, formally with her back straight even if her stomach was huge with another baby. She was with them more often now that she was so heavy. Koutoku couldn't call her away for concubine duties at this stage in her pregnancy. Mingzhu snacked on little almond cakes and Kouai stuffed two buns in her cheeks. It made her look like a chipmunk, Kouen paused in his play to laugh while her mother shook her head clicking her teeth in a 'tsk' and said: "don't swallow that all at once."

Kouai chewed about three times before swallowing and felt terrible afterword.

"I told you." Her mother said, sipping on a cup of lukewarm green tea.

"Comfort me!" Kouai cried, spreading her arms out to her mother across the table. Kouai did like her mother, much more than her brother at the very least. Mingzhu was kind and knew how to read and paint. Kouai thought she was one of the most graceful women she had ever met.

"Okay Ai!" her brother said instead, giving up her hair to latch on to her.

"Ugh, not you…" She was tempted to kick him away but not in front of her mother, especially now that it was harder for her to move, being pregnant and all. Instead, she let her brother indulge and fingered her hair to see if he secretly sucked on it. She felt a wet spot, yup, he totally did, yuck.

"Kouen get off your sister." The voice was deep. Kouai's eyes shot to the door, her father stood, tall and a little wider than when she had seen him before.

Kouen either didn't hear or didn't listen; either way, he didn't react.

Their father walked over the ornate floor table they were gathered around and sat by their mother. Mingzhu smiled lightly with a small greeting and reached a hand to him in affection.

Kouai thought it looked forced.

"Kouen stop." Their father said again, and this time Kouen listened looking wide-eyed up at the man.

"Fuqin (father)" Kouen said quietly, probably surprised to see him. Kouai was surprised too, it had been two months since he last visited. She hastily repeated the greeting after her father stared at her for a while.

"Children." He greeted in tune, it sounded odd to all of them. "You're moving in the inner complex."

Kouai rose a brow.

What the heck does that mean?

"Koutoku dear…" Their mother started her voice sounded small. "Don't you think they're too young, and I'm about to give birth to their younger sibling."

Koutoku took a sip from the cup of tea mother poured. His head fell all the way back as he drank it in one go. Kouai stared at the man, trying to find a resemblance between her and him. They did not look alike at all, and neither did Kouen.

"I think you've been coddling them, woman." Their father said his tone cold.

Kouai was surprised. Kouen looked surprised too.

"Oh.." Mingzhu said meekly. "I'm sorry."

Koutoku waved her off and turned to his children. "Come."

With the beckon of his hand, both raised and Kouai grabbed her brother's hand to steady him.

The three of them left Mingzhu, two pairs of eyes looked back, one sad, one guilty. But in the end, they followed their father to the inner buildings of the Kou palace.

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"Oh! Kouai!"

She stilled, she knew that voice, it was…

"Hakuren!"

Not a moment later a much larger body crashed into her toddler form.

"Oi!" She huffed. "What as that?"

"Dearest cousin!" He shouted instead. She had the urge to slap his face but held it back as she saw another boy behind him, the same one that called his name before he collided into her like a train with no breaks.

"Hakuren, don't run off like that." The boy said. He looked older, taller, with longer hair but had the same mole as Hakuren on his chin. She could tell they were siblings.

"Kouai where's your brother?" Hakuren asked ignoring his brother.

"Dead in a ditch." She said; it was a lie obviously, though she did ditch him as soon as Koutaku left them alone. If he came along with her exploring their new home it would take forever because he would want to stop at every step idolizing the architecture or looking at flowers. She swore he was more of a girl than her.

"What?!" Hakuren exclaimed, he was very loud, Kouai rolled her eyes, it was clearly exaggerated.

"I'm kidding." Kouai huffed getting a sudden sense of dejavu.

"And I'm Hakuren." He gave her a shit-eating girn. Kouai responded with a withering look.

"I'm Hakuyuu." The boy behind him said.

Kouai nodded because at least he was more mature and replied with a simple "Kouai."

"Is your brother really in trouble?" Hakuyuu asked, and Kouai was tempted to give him a withering look too. Did he not listen when she said she was kidding?

"Nah" Kouai waved it off. "Probably wandering around somewhere." Probably lost her brain supplied.

"What are you doing here?" Hakuren asked her curiously.

"I live here obviously." She said looking at him like he was an idiot, although to be fair this was the first day of her living here (the first hour really).

"Since when?!" Hakuren asked loudly, he said everything loading now that she thought of it.

"Since today." She said flatly, looking around for a way for her to stop further conversation. Hakuyuu was staring at her, she winked and his face contorted into such a strange expression she had to hold in a laugh.

"That's great!" Hakuren said (yelled).

"Why?" She asked suspiciously. Kouai thought it was terrible, this place was so much bigger than the building her mother lived in. It would take forever to navigate.

"We can hang out more now!" Hakuren yipped.

"That sounds horrible…" Kouai muttered.

"Ah!" Hakuren looked down and a grey cloud of depression appeared over his head.

Kouai blinked to make sure she was seeing things right. Once, twice, yep it was still there.

"Hey" She attempted to cheer him up. "Kouen might want to play with you."

"But Kouen's such a baby!" Hakuren whined.

"Where the same age!" idiot she left that part out.

"I know…" Hakuren still looked depressed.

"Okay… stop looking like that, you're bumming me out." Kouai patted his flabby cheek; eh, he was kinda chubby too. Maybe it was just a kid thing, but her cheeks definitely weren't that fat.

"We can play sometimes… okay!" Kouai smushed his cheeks together like she did when Kouen looked like a blob.

"Okay!" Hakuren cheered up a bit too fast. "Let's go to the Lotus Garden! There's fish there!"

"I think I'm supposed to be in my room or something…" Kouai protested; this was too exhausting to deal with at the moment, this kid was way too energetic.

"Little brother, we must meet with father," Hakuyuu said. "Another time perhaps."

"Yeah, another time." Kouai clawed hakuren's hand off, it was harder than it was with Kouen.

"Okay…" Hakuren's little cloud reappeared and vanished faster than she could catch. "Another time then! See ya Ai!" He waved running off.

Hakuyuu nodded before following, and Kouai shook her head.

Still a weirdo.

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"Sissy!"

"OOF." For the second time in the span of ten minutes, another body collided with Kouai's.

She looked over her shoulder meeting the familiar red mass of Kouen's hair. His arms had wrapped around her in a clumsy nature. She shifted so his face was no longer smashed in her back.

"I lost you." Kouen cried, his eyes were wet and tear stains marked his cheeks obvious signs that he had been crying before.

"Sorry." Kouai shamelessly scratched the back of her head. "I got lost too."

He shifted so his arms encircled her again, and Kouai swung an arm around his shoulders.

"Let's go back to my room eh?" Kouai suggested.

He sniffled a reply.

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They had separate rooms.

For the second time today Kouen looked like he was going to cry.

Kouai patted his shoulder as the maids sent him out after dinner.

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She lay in bed, a too large bed bigger than the one she used to share with Kouen and their mother. They were all very touchy she realized, it probably made Kouen clingy.

Oops

Oh well. Kouai sunk into the mattress. It was too soft too.

She wondered if Kouen was okay.

God, I'm clingy too.

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A path of light shined as her door creaked open.

"Ai…" a small voice whispered.

She flipped over meeting her brother's eyes as he stood at the edge of her bed.

He grabbed the edge, and she helped him up letting him curl into her side.

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Koumei was born in the late spring, in the time that the peach trees began to blossom. He smelled as sweet as peaches too, but her mother told her all babies smelled like that.

Kouen though Koumei was boring, and Kouai had to agree. Being that young was boring, she certainly remembered quite well.

What was more was all these names: Koutoku, Kouen, Kouai, and Koumei. Her father sure was narcissistic.

Kouen tugged on her hand down the stone path of the garden and she begrudgingly walked faster. They had left their mother with Koumei and instead went to find Hakuren.

The older boy had kept his word about playing with them, and frequently met in the garden to do all sorts of things. One day they fished in the pond with their hands. She nearly fell in, and Kouen fell in trying to keep her out. Another time they played Karuta or dominos. Once they had gathered over eight children in the garden and played running games like catch the dragon's tail and cat catching mice.

Hakuren soon appeared running towards then and panting lightly.

"Look, guys!" He waved a ratting jar in front of them.

"Yes, very interesting," Kouai said rolling her eyes at the plain tube.

"Hmpf." Hakuren pouted. "Well, you don't have to play."

"Great." She responded. She had wanted to see if the sparrows had laid their eggs yet anyways.

"Wait!" Hakuren cried before she could turn away. "Stay," he asked, and she easily acquiesced because although he wasn't as cute a Kouen, by now Hakuren had become another person she liked.

The three of them sat down on the soft stone as Hakuren showed off the jar.

"What is it?" Kouen asked.

"Fortune sticks!" Hakuren grinned. "I got them yesterday from an old man in the city!"

"You got to go out of here?" Kouai asked, rather dramatically. It seemed as if she was always locked up in this place.

"Yah!" he said childishly before opening up his jar. "So you pull a stick out and it tells your future!"

"Sounds like a scam," Kouai said immediately. She didn't believe in those sort of things.

"It's not a scam!" Hakuren protested. "Here I'll go first!" He began shaking the tube and plucked the first stick that dropped.

"The hero was stronger than two bulls. He could cross three rivers in one leap. But all his strength was of no use Against false claims by evil men." Hakuren read aloud frowning afterward.

Kouai smirked leaning in close till she reached the older boy's ear and whispered. "Scamed~"

He frowned and Kouen pulled on the back of her robe until she was beside him; then took the jar in his hands with a quick "my turn."

Kouen looked at his fallen stick and handed it to his sister to read.

"The best thing, I tell you, is not to aim too high. A flying stork will not see the fatal arrow. Gathering wood, you may uncover a snake, and you will regret forever its poisonous bite."

Kouai fluffed his hair. "My turn I suppose." She quickly grabbed the jar and shook excessively. A stick fell out very fast.

Hakuren snatched it before her and began to read.

"On the kitchen floor the kitten lies, lazily warming herself in the afternoon sun. Graceful animals always bring good luck, and should be protected whenever possible."

"Ha!" She put A finger in his face. "Would'ya look at that, I got the best fortune here!"

Hakuren turned his nose up and she grabbed it between her thumb and pointer finger.

"Maybe it was a sham…" Hakuren said when he pried her hand off with the help of Kouen.

"So…" Kouai purred. "You're saying I was right from the very start?"

"You're insufferable," Hakuren whined.

"Heh." Kouai teased. "You love me."

"NO! No I don't" Hakuren said quickly.

Kouai quipped her lip up

"Ouch" She placed a hand over her heart. "As family I'm quite offended."

Hakuren scowled, and she pounced.

Kouen joined in, on her side of course.

And the chill Autumn was warmed by the laughter of children.

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They were almost four now.

Kouai held out four fingers above her.

Kouen flopped over in bed to see what she was doing, but he couldn't see in the dark. So he huddled closer to Kouai, it was getting colder as Autumn approaching winter. The scholar's had told them it would snow this year. Although, Kouai had theorized that most of the times the scholars were just trying to mess with them. Like that one time, they had told them that old man Cheng turned into a ghost after he died.

Kouai, knew very well what happened after someone died. Though she had long since figured it wasn't the same for everyone unless every one kept it a secret, and there was no way everyone would do that.

Kouai shook her head, and her brother grumbled at the movement, she didn't want to think about that.

No, Kouai was almost four.

Four.

That was important because if she were still alive it would mean she was an adult.

Graduated.

Finally free from-

No, Kouai...Kouai didn't want to think about it.

She reached for her brother and clutched tight, he happily returned the affections.

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Four

Not eighteen.

Four

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The scholars were right, it did snow.

At the beginning of winter a white ring encircled the moon, and the next morning it snowed small white flakes that melted at her touch.

She knew because she was there, and Kouen was too.

Their father had insisted on taking them with him on a journey.

Kouai had been so excited, it was the first time she got to go outside of these walls. She was starting to get claustrophobic. Kouen looked happy too even if he didn't get to ride a horse by himself.

Their father took them up to the border of Kou and Deluun.

The field was as red as Kouai's hair.

"Look." Koutoku said. He grabbed Kouen's head and shoved it inches from a dead man.

Kouai…

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Kouai could see his face morph. Wrinkles formed on his brow and his eyes turned disturbingly wide as she had seen once before.

Kouai reached to comfort him.

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"Stop." Koutoku held a arm in front of her, it hit her chest stopping her movement. "You're just like your mother, you coddle him. He needs to grow up."

Without hesitation, Kouai reached for her little brother.

Her father slapped her to the ground.

"Ai." Kouen looked away from the body and Koutoku put a hand on his head twisting the small boy back to the battlefield.

"Stop it!" Kouai reached out again and meet the blood-soaked soil once more. It dyed her pale robes red and made her skin feel dirty. "Stop it!"

No one listened to her.

Kouen began to cry and Koutoku let him go.

Kouai reached for him once he was out of that man's hold.

"It's okay…" She whispered (it wasn't).

On that day, Kouai's hate for her father began.

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"You're cheeks purple." Hakuren poked it.

"Ouch!" Kouai swatted his hand away.

"What happened?" He asked while eating a nut cake. Crumbs littered his face.

"I fell." She said lamely.

"How?"

"Tripped on my nose." She shrugged.

Hakuren stared at her strangely, as if she had grown a second head or a unicorn horn.

"You're clumsy." He ended up saying.

"Tch, as if you aren't." She took the edge of her overgrown sleeve and wiped his face clean.

"What are you doing?" He reeled back as if she stabbed him with a red hot fire poker.

"You had crumbs on your face." She shrugged again and reached her own fingers to her bruised face, it hurt even with her light pressure.

"Oh…" Hakuren said eating another almond cake.

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"Here." Hakuyuu who had since been silent handed her a small container.

She eyed it suspiciously. "You tryna' poison me?"

He rolled his eyes. Kouai thought that was the first time she had seen him act so casual.

"It's medicine." Hakuyuu elaborated. "For your bruise."

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"Really! Thanks!" She took it gingerly in her hands. "I'll go put it on now, see ya guys later!"

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When she opened her door Kouen was throwing a tantrum.

She hadn't seen him like this since he was really little. Her things were thrown on the floor and one of her closet doors looked dented in.

"Ummm…" She started. "Should I leave?"

Kouen looked at her but his eyes quickly darted away.

"Hey…" She reached out to her brother's shoulder, he jerked away; that was the first time he had ever refused her touch. "En…" she called his pet name. "Com'on, it's sissy!" she said cutely.

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He said nothing and kept turning as she tried to look at his face.

Really now, how childish.

"Com'on don't be like that." Kouai pouted. "Talk to me En, or I'll call you chubby again. I've seen you've gained a bit of weight now that I think of it-"

"I'm sorry."

He said it so quickly she almost missed it.

"What.." She breathed out.

"I'm sorry.." He said again and she could hear the start of tears.

Kouai grabbed her brother by his shoulders and arm's length.

"Never…" She shook him lightly. "Never apologize to me… were sibling.. no... no, we're more than that... were twins... You and me, that's never going to change and there's nothing you could ever do that would warrant an apology for me. Nothing."

Kouai pulled him to her chest, she didn't like seeing her brother like this, she didn't like it at all. It made her heart hurt, because, well, because he was her brother, really, truly, and it didn't matter about before because this was now, and in this now she had Kouen.

"Kouen…" Her head nestled in the crook of his neck, it could fit now. "I know sometimes I'm mean… but I love you. You know that right... I love you, I love you so much that it hurts me to see you like this, so... please don't shut me out again…"

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It took him a long time to respond, but...

"I won't," Kouen mumbled. "I promise I won't"

...when he did, he promised her more than she asked for.

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It was spring again, Koumei turned three and apparently, that meant he had Kouen's permission to trail after them.

Kouai didn't mind, she liked her little brother, his cheeks were fat, Kouen grew out of his; though when he was being bratty she called him chubby or smacked his forehead, but Kouen didn't make a lot of facial expressions anymore and he wasn't as bratty either, unless they were alone.

"Kouai!" Koumei shouted and she grabbed his small hand.

"Would'ya look at that," She smirked at Kouen. "Little Koumei can actually pronounce my name, properly."

"I can pronounce your name." Kouen said flatly, he spoke rather plainly these days.

"Umhmmmm, sure, then say it!" Kouai demanded, Koumei sucked on his free hand managing to stick his whole fist in his mouth.

"No." Kouen refused. "You are Ai."

"Pfft." She stuck her tongue out. "You totally can't say it."

"Kouai!" Koumei shouted with his fist still stuffed in the cavity of his right cheek.

"Awww good job MeiMei!" The nickname actually meant 'little sister' in Chinese but it didn't mean that here so whatever. "Your my favorite little brother!"

"Yay!" Koumei cheered cutely.

"He's your only little brother," Kouen stated.

"Yeah, sure keep telling yourself that, I know for a fact I was born first," Kouai said, their mother hand never told them, and the doctor said they looked so alike at birth he couldn't tell. She thought he must have been a fake doctor if he couldn't tell the difference between a girl and a boy.

Kouen rolled his eyes. She smacked his forehead.

"Kouai, Kouen, Koumei!" Hakuren called, he was running towards them as soon as he spotted them around the corner.

"Hakuren!" Kouai waved, and Kouen noded. Koumei had the decency to take his first out of his mouth, what a good boy.

"Come have tea with us?" Hakuren invited and his brother was behind him taking him time to approach the group. Hakuyuu had grown taller and now sported two digits for his age.

"Eh? I was going to take Koumei to see the fish but if it's alright with him we can have tea instead." Kouai agreed.

Koumei looked up at his sister with wide eyes as she gave him the choice.

"Tea." he agreed after looking at their cousins.

"Alright, I suppose I can spend an afternoon with you…" Kouai directed her false insult at Hakuren, who was too used to it by now to bother.

"Great!" He took Kouai's other hand and dragged her and Koumei ahead while Hakuyuu and Kouen followed.

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Tea… well, tea was bland. Kouai had never been a fan really, she like big flavor and bright colors. Tea was the diluted color of whatever you stuck in it, and in Kou that was frequently a pale green.

But today Kouai sat polietly on her knees and sipped on her cup of tea with two hands because Hakuren failed to mention they would be having tea with his mother, Ren Gyokuen!

Kouei glared daggers at the youngest bluette in the room. When he noticed he gave a sweet smile. She swore to get him after this.

"Dear," The woman herself interrupted her thoughts, "You can sit more comfortably if you wish."

Kouei felt grateful, but a bit sheepish, she should be more polite around the emperor's wife...but, then again she was her aunt, so…

Kouei relented. "Thanks!" She said, well she was five, after all, surely that gave her a bit leeway in propriety.

"Not at all child," Gyokuen said her hand was on her swollen stomach, fat with a child. "The expectations of women in this country are quite strenuous."

"Yeah, I know what you mean." Kouei agreed, she had never really gotten to speak with another woman in royalty, her mother was a prostitute after all. "That's why I'm never going to marry."

The room quieted a bit, except for Koumei who was debating if it was alright to put his fist back in his mouth now.

"Really now?" Gyokuen asked.

"Yeah, father said I could join the army when I grow up!" Kouei said, she really had talked to him about it, after...well, after he said Kouen would be a general. "I want to be a general someday!"

She could feel her brother glaring holes in the side of her head, she smiled cutely.

"Oh, that's quite different," Gyokuen admitted. "But if it's what you truly desire then I do hope you do manage it."

Kouei tilted her head down. She did want it, desperately, she needed it, to protect her brother, no, brother now, not just Kouen, but Koumei too.

"Yes, it is what I want…" Kouei smiled to her tea. "Thank you for saying so."

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Kouai decided then, with that afternoon tea that didn't taste quite so bad, that she liked Ren Gyokuen.

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Two months later Gyokuen gave birth, and then next time Kouai met her she would be a different woman.

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