Jane (5): dream house (9)

Empty Nest Syndrome

David sat down at the table with a heavy sigh. He pulled his coffee cup closer to himself before picking up the newspaper and unfurling it carefully, putting the rubber band under his coffee cup and carefully unfolding and unrolling the paper until he could see it properly. In an instant, he disappeared from in front of me.

I sighed, "It's too quiet around here, David."

"And a month ago, it was still too loud because Kate was always bringing her band over. Now that she has her own apartment, I thought you'd be happy."

"Well I'm not," I pouted, standing up and doing the dishes. I put down the rag and stared out the window, "I want to move."

That was enough to get him to put his paper down. He looked up to me with a silly grin, "What do you mean you want to move? All you've ever wanted was to pay this house off so you could live in it peacefully, and now you want to start all over? It's only been paid off a year!"

"Yeah, well it's empty and cold and quiet, and who cares if I want to move? What's another mortgage payment compared to my happiness?" I demanded to know.

David shook his head, "I told you to join that mom group, but you wouldn't listen to me—"

"What in the hell does this have to do with your stupid mom group?!" I yelled, shaking my head, "You're impossible! Maybe I'll just find somewhere without you too. Maybe that's the problem!"

"What is that supposed to mean?!"

"You're always picking fights with me over nonsense rubbish, but then it's all somehow my fault and you're right and I'm wrong. What the hell does moving have to do with some stupid mom group filled with drunks?"

David shook his head, "They're not drunks, Jane! It's so people can talk about their empty nest and get over it—"

"I AM OVER IT! I CAN WANT TO LIVE SOMEWHERE ELSE AND NOT BE SICK, DAVID!" I shook my head firmly and stomped out of the room. I called back over my shoulder, "I'm not the only one who's sick in the head, but I don't see you doing a damn thing about it!"

I snatched up my car keys without realizing I was doing it. David's frame filled the doorway to the kitchen, "Where are you going?"

"I DON'T KNOW!" I yelled, slamming the door behind me and rushing to my car, backing out of the driveway recklessly before driving away from town.

I had no clue where I was going. I just needed to be away—out of that house, away from all the problems that lived there, and away from a man who was always putting the blame on the wrong things. He'd always done that, even when the kids were in the house. Arthur hits DW? Well it must be his fault. I figured out later it was her fault, but she'd already won, not that she always won. When Kate went off on Arthur once (her fault. She was sick and hadn't told anyone), Arthur got punished for provoking her. David caused countless arguments just by turning on the wrong person. It was my biggest regret as a mother, letting him play disciplinarian when he really had no business having any power.

I headed outside of town without realizing and ended up in the country. I hadn't been out this way since Thora had to go to the home. Her house was long gone now, another victim of suburban sprawl, not that we ever told her it went to a subdivision. She was there enough to keep asking if there was money, but she didn't even know who the kids were in the end, or me for that matter. I wasn't part of her past, so I was erased from her memory.

I sighed as I looked at all those lonely homes sitting almost a mile from the road in some cases. One was supposed to be a farm, but Thora knew those people and they sold their livestock years ago. They bought a pony once for their granddaughter, but when it bit her little brother, they had to get rid of it. Now they lived on that big empty property, whoever they was. It could be the daughter's or the granddaughter's house now. That was so long ago.

The only thing David was right about was that I didn't know where to go, not that he'd bother asking that question. Making it about the money was supposed to be my quirk, not his, but it was him asking the wrong things, blaming the wrong topic as being the problem.

I needed to figure out where to go, but this wasn't it. I needed people, a community, and the only people and communities out here were the stuck-up people running off to their churches ten times a week. I wasn't in for that lifestyle. While I still enjoyed Mass, I would rather do other things. I needed a city, maybe an apartment in the city?

I turned back towards town and went to true downtown Elwood City, but the height of the buildings threw me off. Even Bitzi Baxter's condo was three floors in places, and that felt like too much. Did I want to rent a house in the city? I stopped at a gas station and looked up options on my phone, but many of them were clearly for the wealthy or local college students—there was no in between.

I sighed heavily and looked around me. What did I want then? I was going to the community center regularly for different things, but they never had anything I truly wanted. Did I really want to leave Elwood City?

My phone rang, a call from David. I ignored it and kept thinking about the problem. I could leave, but where would I go? I wouldn't want to move any further north because winters were awful enough, but did I want to give up on winter altogether and move south like so many others? Bitzi moved to Florida almost ten years ago—Buster wanted to finish high school with Bo anyway, so she left town and made a life for herself elsewhere. There was another mom from Arthur's grade that did the same thing after her divorce. I just could never remember if it was Jenna's mom or Fern's mom. Both were good candidates.

There were too many options to choose from, so I headed over to the library. It gave me something to look forward to, so I walked in and started wandering the building. I soon found myself in the reference section looking over their map area. Maps hung on the walls, and on top of the low shelf was a globe. On the shelves themselves were numerous books about travel. There were atlases, but these were mostly travel guide books letting you know what was in each country, in each place. I ran my finger over the spines hoping a title would jump out at me.

But nothing did. I sat down at a nearby table and looked out a window, trying to decide what I was going to do with myself. My phone buzzed again in my pocket, this time a call from Arthur, but I didn't answer it. I knew I needed to head home eventually, but I wanted answers first. I wanted to know what I wanted.

"Ma'am, do you need some help?" a young librarian asked. I almost blushed when I realized it was Fern, but I kept my thoughts to myself on that.

I sighed, "So…I'm trying to figure out where I'd want to move to. I want a community, a place where I can do things with people, but I don't know where to begin. Do you have a book that can help with that?"

"Not really," she said, thinking for a moment, "I think you need to go online and look up different communities. You might find a golfing community or a retirement community, but if those aren't what you're looking for, I would look up the happiest towns."

"Why?" I asked, following her over to a nearby computer area. She helped me log in before explaining, "Well, if you're looking for happiness, why not move to the happiest places?"

I couldn't help but agree with her, but after forty minutes and three more phone calls, I was still no closer. I really needed to get home, so I tossed my scraps and left the library, grabbing a quick lunch before heading back to the house.

When I arrived, Arthur was there with his fiancé, and DW's car was parked up the street. I sighed heavily and stepped inside—it looked like an intervention. One of the kids had picked up Kate, who was there with her band mate boyfriend. They swarmed my living room, taking every available seat.

"Why weren't you answering your phone?" David demanded.

"Why did you think calling me after pissing me off was a good idea?" I countered, nodding to the children, "That's right, he instigated a fight and got upset when I left. What was I supposed to do?"

"Tell people where you were," DW argued, shrugging to herself.

"She's right, Mom. You always told us to tell you where we were. That's why we're all upset," Arthur replied.

I scoffed, "Because you were all underaged. I was fine! I needed space because…your father thinks I'm crazy for wanting to move."

"Move where?" Kate asked.

"I haven't decided yet, but I'm figuring it out. I will figure it out ,and then I will move. You can come with me if you want to, David, or you can stay here in the house that you're just so worried about," I said, looking up to see Fred standing there. I sighed, "You got him involved?"

"What choice did they have, Jane? This is really out of character for you," Fred replied, rubbing my shoulder, "What's the problem?"

"We'll talk elsewhere," I said, leading him outside to the garage. I got in the car and he looked me over carefully before getting inside. I locked the doors, "What was all the looking around for?"

"I wanted to make sure you wouldn't haul off with me," he grinned.

"Well I'm not. I'm done driving around because that just showed me what I didn't want. I'm checking off boxes, and this is what I want. I want out of that house, away from here. There's just nothing here for me," I said firmly.

He shook his head, "Dad told me to watch out for all of you, but I don't think he knew you were going to be the problem. Jessica, maybe, and Lucy was a definite yes, but you were supposed to have your act together."

"I do have my act together. My kids are out of the house now, and I want to do things. I need human connections, something I lack in this house. David just sits around doing whatever, tiptoeing around the problem. He doesn't understand, and this just proves it, dragging you out here—"

"We've been talking for a while actually. They are really worried about you," Fred replied.

I turned to him, hoping it was some game, but no, apparently David had been calling him for weeks asking about me, not that Fred knew much about me. We hadn't lived in the same house in almost thirty years.

I sighed, "Well, you're going to tell me to march back in there and learn my place, huh? Some empty nester stuck looking out the windows over dishes she's already washed twice. That's where I'm supposed to be, huh?"

"I didn't say that, and I've been wondering if that was the problem. David knows how to communicate, but it's always the opposite with him lately. I wanted to see you but couldn't get down here until today. I came in to find your husband pacing the floor, so I told him to call the kids and get them over here. You'd be home when you got back this way," he grinned, laughing, "Boy I was right. You looked pissed!" he chuckled.

I grinned, "You're not wrong, but…what am I supposed to do then? I've been thinking this for a while, and now I actually want to do something about it."

"Well, figure out where you want to go. Take PLANNED weekend road trips and see where the road takes you. If you like the place, stay the night and make sure it's okay. If it is, start making arrangements. Take your time though so you don't scare anyone," he suggested.

I nodded, "I think I can do that."

"I know you can do that," Fred said, patting my shoulder before unlocking his door and letting himself out. When we got back inside, DW and Kate had left. Arthur and David were in the kitchen starting dinner.

I refused to talk about my discussion with Fred over dinner, but David didn't mind the quiet. When the day was said and done, we took our showers and climbed into bed.

I told him everything—my thoughts, what Fred had suggested, and where I actually was because that was still bugging him. He didn't want to move, so I knew it was an uphill battle. At least he was open to the road trip idea, but I knew I would be unsuccessful. We would go on those trips, and I would find places I liked but he'd hate. He'd like places I would hate, and it would be a revolving door that always dropped us back off in Elwood City when we were done.

I sighed, "David…we get three vetoes. After that, if the other person wants to move there, they have to follow. If you don't follow, well, I guess whoever that is can keep the house and we go our separate ways."

"You're seriously ready to divorce over this?"

"If need be. I really don't think you understand how serious I am about this," I replied.

"Well, I hear you. Three vetoes then we make a choice," David said. I nodded firmly. He sighed, "Alright, three vetoes then decision time. No more than that."

With that settled, I knew to start planning road trips. The first weekend we went to other places around the state, but when they yielded no answers, I knew we needed bigger trips. I used the internet to help me find places for weekend trips. Not having three kids to feed, clothe, and keep alive really helped the budget, so we made several of these trips.

Finally, we found a place. It was in South Carolina, so while they had winter, it was mild compared to winters in Elwood City. The community itself was well-groomed and had plenty to offer. David had more restaurants to choose from than he'd ever had before, and there were plenty of hobbies for me to choose from. The best part? Cost of living wasn't that bad, so while we would have to buy a house or find an apartment, it was cheaper than finding one back home.

With that settled, we got the kids together and told them the news. Because the house was paid off, we could either transfer the deed to one of them or sell. Arthur was ready to start a family, so the girls agreed that he could get the house as a wedding present. I didn't really like his fiancé, but at least that was decided.

We gave them an address, then we made a caravan moving trip with the family to get our things down to South Carolina. We picked an apartment instead of a house, so the apartment ended up being a little cramped, but at least we were finally somewhere I didn't mind calling home.

Within months, David had found a small foodie group to eat around with, and I had a group of gals for pretty much everything—trivia, wine, crafts—and we were having the time of our lives. David showed no regrets. In fact, he seemed much happier himself. He would never say it, but this was a battle I had most definitely won.

~End

A/N: Piece 30 of 100 for my 10x10 Challenge. I'm doing this challenge as my NaNo2018 project, but I would love for others to do it to (not necessarily in a month. I'm not that mean… most of the time). You can find the themes on my profile. For more info or to tell me about your responses, shoot me a PM.