Let's Play Dark Souls!

Summary: Sora, Riku and Kairi play one of the hardest games out there! What can possibly go wrong!?

Chapter 17

The Archives of Misery

'AQUA! HELP!'.

'ASSIST!'.

'SAVE ME!'.

'SORA GONE RAGEY RAGE!'.

This was the second time in her life Aqua had ran so fast she appeared to be a blur to everyone and everything. The blue head wielder of the keyblade had arrived to Kairi's place in record time and all but kicked the door open to run inside and keep her first (and only) apprentice alive.

Inside Kairi's room, she spotted Sora in his Rage-Form on all fours, pinned below him as Kairi. She had a look of terror and amusement as she looked at the master. She mouthed "HELP" to her and Aqua took a deep breath and used the magic pocket dimension they used for everything.

And summoned…a spray bottle.

Aqua: 'No! BAD SORA!'.

Immediately when she sprayed at him, Rage-Sora hissed and leapt off Kairi and impressively balanced on her wardrobe, hissing at the bottle of water.

Aqua: 'NO! Bad! Turn back to Sora right now Mr!'.

Kairi's fears vanished in a nano-second, laughter taking place instead. It was such a strange phenomenon they discovered about Sora's Rage form, that it has so many catlike traits to it. Aqua sprayed it again at him, making him shrink with another hiss, making himself smaller and less dark with every spray.

Kairi: 'How long will he stay like this?'.

Aqua: 'Depends, what exactly transpired to cause him to turn into this?'.

Kairi: 'Well…we fought the Bed of Chaos…'.

Aqua: 'Say no more…I understand'.

Luckily Sora did indeed return back to his normal state after three more sprays of evil water, and promptly fell off the wardrobe and onto Kairi's bed room floor.

Sora: 'Ow…'.

Aqua then handed Kairi the bottle and bid the two a good day after leaving some tips on dealing with rage induced boys.

Kairi: 'See you later Aqua, hope you got your game console fixed!'.

Aqua, her back turned to them, paled visibly and tensed up.

Aqua: 'Ah ha…y-yeah…soon…'.

Once she left, Sora looked around in confusion, not recalling how he ended up in Kairi's room…nor did he like that smirk on her face…

NEXT SESSION OF RAGE

Sora: 'Ok so after that…what's left?'.

Kairi: 'All that remains is Seath the Scaleless, and then we finally take the last gruelling fight to Gwyn'.

Riku: 'AND BE DONE WITH THIS GAME!'.

Before they would return to the Shrine though the trio decided to do one quick exploration of the dungeon in the hopes of finding some items and gear, with chances of making up Sora's lost souls from the boss. Begrudgingly, Kairi informed them the titanite demon would very likely drop a lot of souls with a potential item that could help upgrade their weapons in the later portion of the game.

Therefore once they came to the bridge with the monster guarding it, there was great apprehension for them until Kairi pointed out that they were significantly stronger than last time they fought this kind of enemy.

Kairi: 'We'll be fine this time!'.

Sora: 'Can't help but feel like levelling up isn't really a big game changer for this…we're still getting our butts kicked…'.

Riku: 'Or dying, can't forget that!'.

Kairi: 'Umm guys…'.

Riku was then smacked aside by the demon's rod-spear thing, knocking him off the bridge and through the arch, which led him to is death.

Riku: '…. FUCK!'.

You Died.

Kairi: '…ya know Sora you may be right about that last part…'.

Sora: 'SHIELD UP!'.

The titanite demon stuck his shield, pushing him back a smidge but did minimal damage also. Kairi kept up her distance and tossed balls of fire at it, dealing greater damage than she did in the first bout. Sora was the focus of the demon, as it seemed intent to strike him down and despite the lack of space for the boy and many chances of him falling into the lava, he kept his ground.

Kairi got closer to the demon to perform the fire whip and smacked, slapped and slashed at the demon with burning fury. Unfortunately, its tail slapped Kairi and the knock-back was good enough to literally put her on the edge. Kairi let out a shriek as she button smashed the dodge button to get away from the edge and demon, followed by singing a chorus of "NONONONONONONONONO".

Sora however took this chance to strike back the demon, hitting it twice before he himself was knocked back by one of the swings of its rod. At a fair distance from the demon, Sora saw its health was rather low, enough for just one strike to finally free them of this horrible thing. He changed his equipment to two-handing the sword and then, he performed the two-hand shockwave the weapon possessed.

The attack raced across the field and struck the demon head on, killing it. A large bounty of souls, some ore for their weapons, and the path was cleared.

Kairi looked at Sora's weapon and him, narrowed eyes.

Kairi: 'Sora'.

Sora: 'Yeah?'.

Kairi: 'When were you able to do that?'.

Sora: 'Uh…since I got it?'.

Kairi: '…SO WHY DIDN'T YOU USE IT!?'.

Sora: 'I FORGOT!'.

Kairi: 'SOOOOO MANY DEATHS COULD HAVE BEEN AVOIDED! THOSE ARCHERS BACK IN ANOR LONDO WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN AN ISSUE IF YOU CAN SHOCKWAVE THEM TO DEATH!'.

Sora: 'Even Riku's amount of deaths?'.

Kairi: '…shut up'.

Riku: 'I hate you both…'.

After Riku returned to them, they continued forward with their exploration. They climbed down a flight of stairs after coming to the end of the bridge. They spotted a crystal lizard and immediately "murder" was their next course of action. The little creature managed to skitter far enough down another but smaller flight of stairs. There ahead were more skittish yet harmless creepy crawly creatures.

Kairi: 'My "I need to burn you all" senses are tingling…'.

Riku: 'Yeah with good reason…'.

Sora: 'HEY! Solaire!'.

Ahead of them was indeed the legendary sunbro, but instead of sitting down in despair or standing up and looking to the ceiling…

He ran at them all with one of those creatures latched upon his head, and he started to attack Sora and co.

Sora: 'SOLAIRE!? WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?'.

Riku: 'He's gone crazy! KILL HIM WITH SHARP THINGS!'.

Kairi: 'AND FIRE!'.

Sora: 'B-But, he's my sunbro! We're brothers Solaire! We've Praised The Sun so many times!'.

Riku: 'THREE TIMES ISN'T A LOT!'.

Sora: 'IT IS FOR ME!'.

Sora practically blocked all Solaire's attacks, not even thinking of attacking him or retaliating, Riku was the one doing all damaging while Kairi was merely burning the creepy crawlies, not even taking a chance of them latching onto her head and eating her brain.

Riku: 'Solaire, will you stop-

Solaire blasted Riku with some lightning and blasted him away a few steps.

Riku: 'I WILL FUCKING MURDER YOU!'.

Sora saw his friend wounded and seeing Kairi trying to fend off the monsters, Sora looked to Solaire with defeat. He raised is sword and with using the shockwave first, knocking his fellow sunbro on his back, he rushed in.

Sora: 'I'M SORRY!'.

Sora slashed Solaire and with two extra hits, the greatest hero of Lordran had fallen. He gasped softly, lamenting that his sun has finally set like his life. And he vanished into nothing, leaving his sword and shield behind.

Sora: *Whimpers*

Kairi: 'Aww Sora…it had to be done…'.

Riku: '…'.

Sora: *Saluting* 'Rest in Peace, sunbro'.

One Mourn later…

Firelink Shrine

The trio used what souls they accumulated, upgraded their gear after changing them into more suitable and better equipment.

Sora: Iron Golem set with Drake sword and Havel's shield.

Riku: Artorias armour set with his black knight great sword.

Kairi: Witch Set wielding her fire hand, and katana.

They mostly levelled up their equipment as they were under level and felt a change of gear for themselves. Again, Kairi refused to increase her vitality, and none of the boys commented. Well admittedly Sora never cared but Riku…well he would but then Kairi would, with snarky that would make Larxene proud, reply with the amount of deaths between the two.

His pride was beaten bad enough already…

Riku: 'Ok so, where's this Seath?'.

Kairi: 'Hey guys, ya know we don't HAVE to go through with this!'.

Sora: 'We don't?'.

Kairi: 'Y-Yes! I mean why should we? I mean, we're not here to prove anything to the game, right?'.

Sora: 'I…guess?'.

Kairi: 'So I think after all we've been through, the bull crud, the rage, the jerk invaders, I'd say we've proven we're awesome and should consider this our ending!'.

Sora: '…Kai, that sounds like a HUGE copout'.

Kairi: 'WHA-WHAT!? No! Its…its…uh…'.

Riku: 'She's trying to get out of this because, take a wild guess where we have to go?'.

Sora: '…Anor Londo?'.

Riku: 'Anor Fing Londo'.

Sora let out a loud groan of frustration, already knowing how horrible this trip is going to be, while Kairi was being extremely quiet on her end. Riku had completely called her out.

Riku: 'Kai-

Kairi: 'I. AM. NOT. GOING. BACK!'.

Riku: 'Oh come on!'.

Kairi: 'Nope, call me a wuss or whatever helps you sleep at night! I've had enough of invasions! I've had enough of bull crap enemies! AND dying!'.

Riku: 'WE JUST HAVE ONE DAMN DUNGEON BEFORE ENDING THIS NIGHTMARE OF A GAME! ARE YOU SERIOUSLY GOING TO WUSS OUT NOW!?'.

Kairi: 'If it means I won't end up losing my voice or getting grey hair, then yes!'.

Riku let out a frustrated groan, swearing quietly and calling her something on the lines of a "bratty cry baby". Sora though, he sighed. As much as he was sick of this game, he didn't exactly wanna copout either.

Sora: 'Kairi. Please? Just finish this and get it over with?'.

Kairi: '…'.

Sora: *Takes a selfie and sends it to her*

Kairi: *Looks a phone and immediately her stubborn refusal died* '…that's freaking cheating Sora…'.

Sora: *puppy whimper*

Kairi: 'AAHHHHH! FINE! J-JUST STOP!'.

Riku: '… Puppy Sora?'.

Sora: 'Puppy Sora'.

Anor Londo

Using the bonfire to respawn, the trio exited the room and after Kairi used the wiki, they headed to the left into another building. Ahead were two giant stone warriors, but no path ahead so they wisely decided to head to where they path would take them to their destination. There was one giant but thanks to Riku's maxed out sword, it was brought down in two hits. They ran up a staircase and up into the hillside, where the building where Seath lied in waited for them.

Straight ahead was a single corridor with a familiar beast lied ahead of them, the armoured boar. Sora decided he'd be the front line of defence, and with his giant shield up, he ran in. The boar, much like the first one awhile back, charged at him. Luckily the shield and poise Sora carried was more than enough for the knight to hold his ground. During the charge, Riku managed to run past it and back stabbed the wild armoured animal.

One stab and the beast was no more…until they reached the end of the corridors and encountered another armoured boar. Rinse and repeat, Sora guarded, Riku stabbed, all's well.

They came to an open room where a bonfire waited for them to light it.

Sora: 'So far so good'.

Riku: 'I'm guessing its just until we get here, things get to bullshit hard'.

Kairi: 'Piggy's souls are surprisingly insufficient'.

Riku: 'They're pigs, what did you expect?'.

They hopped on the elevator and rode up, finding another open area where there were three new enemies. Ghoul like creatures but with large chunks of crystal sticking out of them, two carrying a sword shield and one in the back using a bow. Sora dealt with the first two while Kairi used her giant bow and sniped the archer ahead, taking them down with a headshot…well if there was any head left…

Riku ran ahead up the stairs to another height of the room, was attacked by sneaking enemies that hide in the area. Granted they took a decent amount of health from him, but he managed to bring them down in one hit each, squishy enemies it seems for him…until he was blasted by magic. Just ahead of them in the next room was another of those mage-like priests that bothered them on their route to the first bell.

Riku: 'God damn it! Those freaking magic spamming priests are back!'.

Kairi: 'They shall submit to my superior pyromancy!'.

Riku, before he ran in, is then attacked by ANOTHER crystal ghoul that rushed him. Another chunk of health taken and Riku swore and smashed his assaulter into mush. He was forced to guzzle down a healing potion, only to be literally "bitch slapped" by a crystal golem.

Riku: 'WHERE'D YOU COME FROM!?'.

Sora: 'What? Who-HOLY CRAP HE'S A BIG BOY!'.

Riku rolled and dodged the golem's slow attacks but the mage fired another blast of magic and hits Riku. Once the ghouls were dealt, Sora and Kairi ran into help their struggling friend.

Kairi: 'I'll deal with the magic spammer with bow of compensation!'.

However the girl seemed to forget the crystal golem, and before she fired her arrow the giant smacked her and knocked her on her back, taking almost all her health.

Kairi: 'HOLY CRAP MY HEALTH!'.

Riku: 'HEAL HEAL HEAL HEAL!'.

Sora: 'I'll deal with bullying golem!'.

With the golem was focusing on the scampering Kairi, Sora and Riku hacked away at it's back, Sora damaging it enough for Riku to one shot the crystal tank. With it dead, Kairi took up position and sniped the mage, again hitting the head and one-shot the spammer. With the two immediate threats dealt with, they entered the next room that looked like a library with several large shelves of books and of course more of the crystal ghouls.

Not much of threats as they appeared, the ghouls were easily dealt with thanks to Kairi sniping the farther away ones while the boys slew the closest enemies, then climbed up the stairs to the second floor of the library. More ghouls were slaughtered, treasure chests containing a few items like titanite related stuff, and one chest that Sora immediately knew was off. He and Riku nodded and together performed their heavy attacks and once, the mimic was no more.

Kairi: 'H-How did you know it was a trap!?'.

Sora: 'The chain. Its normally curved, that's straight'.

Kairi: '…where is the hug gesture!?'.

Another elevator ride upwards, they came to a floor which was tainted by murky crystal splattered all over the walls, floors and ceiling. A narrow corridor was the only passage for them, so like always they sent the tank in front while keeping the squishy pyromancer in the back.

Sure enough they were rushed attacked by a new enemy. A human looking that, like the ghouls, had large crystal chunks sticking out from its body. Thankfully it faired only a smidgen better than the ghouls, for it took more beatings from Sora than the ghouls.

Onwards they went, found another crystal lizard, murdered the absolute hell out of it, and proceeded. The higher they climbed the tower however, more of the passage was being coated by crystals, until they were in a corridor of crystal together. Whatever was ahead of them, they feared the next boss wasn't too far ahead.

Like being able to predict Axel's next move in poker, there was a door with a fog wall.

Riku: 'Okay, we ready for this?'.

Kairi: 'No'.

Sora: 'Nope'.

Riku: '…great motivation guys…'.

They passed through the fog wall, and before them was the albino dragon, Seath the Scaleless. The dragon roared at them, firing a beam. The beam trailed along the ground and upwards, suddenly a wave of crystal walls shot up and smacked them all.

Kairi: 'THAT'S A LOT OF PAIN!'.

Riku ran at Seath, but the dragon was too far from Riku, blocked off by his barricade of crystals. Sora was no better, out of range.

Sora: 'HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO BEAT HIM IF WE CAN'T EVEN GET CLOSE ENOUGH TO STAB AND SLASH!?'.

Kairi: 'WITH PYROMANCY!'.

Kairi tossed a ball of fire, but she couldn't lock on to the dragon and ended up hitting nothing but the ground. She swore quietly and decided to use a normal bow and arrow this time for mobility. After the crystal walls collapsed, Kairi fired an arrow that did apparently thirty nine damage…but his health didn't go down.

Kairi: '…what?'.

She fired three more, but nothing changed. The dragon's health hadn't even lower to a chip, heck not even a pixel hadn't moved.

Riku: 'Why isn't Kairi's arrows hurting him!?'.

Kairi: 'I am hitting him right!? I'm not going loony right!?'.

Even Sora took his bow out and fired at the dragon, but nothing changed.

Then Seath unleashed a blast the erected crystal pillars from the ground, completely covering the entire area with damaging obstacles. The party were smacked and harmed by the endless stream of crystal, and just when they thought when the crystals broke they could heal, Seath repeated the exact same attack and presto, they all perished.

You Died.

They all stared at their respective screens, jaws hanged down in dismay.

Kairi: 'W-We can't hurt him…'.

Sora: 'He's immortal…?'.

Riku: 'You mean…we can't kill this boss…?'.

They respawned not at the bonfire they last used, but instead in a prison cell. Now they were prisoners, to the immortal dragon.

Riku: *Slowly puts his controller down, takes a deep breath…* '…..FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!'.

A/N:

So now they're closer to the end, and now must figure out how to deal with the Scaleless dragon and his immortality! Can they figure it out before they all have a mental breakdown?

Thanks for reading, credit to Apprentice to Fantasy for the Solaire suggestion, and their constant support! Stay safe, but more importantly stay safe!