Look who came crawling back to this fandom after more than a year. I have no excuse. :v

Still no beta but I started proofreading the fic starting from Chapter 1 for spelling and punctuation mistakes and also any wonky sentence structures so, yeah, I'm trying my best as a non-English speaker. Sorry if the mistakes put you off from this fic.

Chapter title is from the same song title by Alice Merton

Enjoy!

Bruce

Luther winced at the contact of the ice bag against his nose. Bruce sympathetically sent him an apologetic look and lightened the pressure.

Bruce pretended to ignore the growing tension that was seemingly seeping from Tony's shoulders.

When the atmosphere within the small makeshift clinic became oppressive for the nine people within, Bruce had to clear his throat subtly.

"Okay, I'm not mad," Tony began. "Not really."

Bruce cleared his throat a little louder.

"But I'm disappointed that you played right at Nick's hands," Tony tried again. "I thought you're better than that."

Bruce coughed.

Tony raised an eyebrow. "Bruce, buddy, you okay?"

"I don't know, Tony. I feel great. I'm not the one who came from a staged hostage situation by S.H.I.E.L.D. after all."

"Obviously they are all feeling great if they could wave in front of the press," Tony said icily.

Alright, Bruce wasn't expecting that tone.

Tony started pacing, arms crossed, and his face betraying nothing. "You couldn't just leave it, could you? You know, let the professionals handle it."

Five scoffed. "The Avengers?"

"No, kid." Tony wasn't quick enough for Bruce to miss the defeated look crossing his features. "I'm talking about the right authorities. Police, for example."

Five looked like he could hardly believe it came from Tony, of all people, though nobody spoke after that undeniably valid point.

"You never exactly said what being superheroes entailed back in your world, but if it means assuming that you have to clean up the mess of others who are supposed to do their job right, then we have differing definitions."

"Tony," Bruce warned.

Tony ignored him. "If you think that's how it's gonna be for you with me, then you're wrong."

"Then it's a good thing you're not our official guardian," Five replied testily. "What did you call us again? Oh, right, guests ."

"Right." Tony raised a finger. "One moment," he said and was quickly gone from the clinic.

"Where did he go?" Diego asked.

"Off to prove his point, I bet," Bruce replied tersely. "He took that as a challenge, you know," he told Five and smiled at the boy wryly.

Five was taken aback. "What do you mean?"

Bruce shrugged. He had a few ideas of what Tony might be doing at the moment. "Anyone else injured?" he asked the rest perfunctorily. Bruce took the shaking of heads as his answer. "If something's aching, no matter how small, just call for me, okay?"

The adrenaline probably hadn't worn off yet; that, or they were stubborn not to show any bruises or cuts they might have that weren't visible. Bruce could only sigh in defeat.

He found Tony on the couch, frowning at the open folder on his lap and a pen on his hand. He was flipping through papers without reading them, signing what needed to be signed, it seemed like.

Bruce was right. Tony was indeed doing the sole thing that would prove his point. It was uncanny, his stubbornness that wasn't dissimilar with his charges.

Bruce cleared his throat, and Tony grunted at him distractedly.

"Am I right to assume that you're signing the papers about legal guardianship over the children?"'

Tony looked up briefly, pointing the pen at Bruce. "You assume correctly."

"And Fury personally brought them." Bruce didn't have to ask. He did spot Fury earlier and avoided the man like the plague because he could. "Have you told Pepper about this?"

"Tried calling there. Must be in a meeting and likely haven't seen the news yet."

"Shouldn't you wait for her? She's your partner, Tony, and this is a rather big step, don't you think?"

Bruce was far from expecting the complete look of surrender from Tony and the way he restlessly ran his hand to his hair.

"It is," Tony conceded. "But this is where it'll eventually end up, just thought there'll be more time to decide."

Bruce sat heavily across Tony. He understood that Tony did want to put thought on the decision—which was frankly unlike him given that his spontaneity was what started this whole set up with the kids—but was unable to do so after Fury pulled that stunt.

Pepper wasn't presently here, so it was up to Bruce to be the good sense Pepper claimed that he was.

"You're right; you don't have much time to dwell on it, not when the media is in a frenzy right now that I'm scared to watch the news or browse the internet. But you're not alone to make the decision too," said Bruce. "They're old enough to understand and make decisions for themselves, Tony. You'll be surprised at how simple the answer is if you ask them straight up what they want."

Bruce didn't doubt one bit that the children and Tony would come to the best conclusion.

Allison

Allison believed that she was born to be in the limelight; she knew it before entering showbiz, even before the introduction of the Umbrella Academy.

Tonight shouldn't be any different especially when it was basically like their inaugural. And yet despite the familiar glaring lights and camera flashes that coaxed out the charming smile she used to plaster on in public, there was a peculiar tick of nervousness that she rarely had and was never in front of these many people.

Tonight would make or break the public perception of them.

Vanya

She felt self-conscious of the wireless noise-canceling earbuds.

They asked her if she wanted to exclude herself, let them handle the press with the six of them. Try as she might to avoid this kind of scenario, she knew she just couldn't sit out on this one, and Vanya knew she would rather be there with them as well, showing a united front.

She glanced at Allison on her left and recognized the anxiety surrounding her under her guileless smile—it wasn't only Allison. All her siblings were in various proportions of nervousness rolling off of them, with most of her brothers handling it better like Allison.

Vanya couldn't help but smile to herself. She made the right decision and was glad to be here with them.

Ben

He wondered if Five realized he was bouncing his leg under the table.

Ben was tempted to grab his knee and put the movement to a stop, but he couldn't really blame him. Heck, he was nervous as hell too, though after sticking by Klaus's side and witnessing his general insouciance with the aspect of his life that concerned his image and other's opinion on him, Ben got to pick up the same kind of nonchalance that also came with being ignored as a ghost for years.

Now, though, the people that mattered to Ben got to see him alive and walking, and however the night would end, he couldn't really care less if he would be painted negatively.

Yeah, he would be fine.

Klaus

"Hey, think we can still catch the Nat Geo rerun after this? I'm really curious how sloth can mate and grow in number with all that laziness."

Ben snorted on his right. "They grow in number because they don't have natural predators because they also smell so bad," he informed Klaus. "If you actually listened to Pogo before, it was one of the lectures on zoology that we had."

"Spoiler much?"

Ben shrugged unrepentantly. "Didn't tell you how they mate though."

"How then?"

"I thought you don't like spoilers."

"You might as well tell me while you're at it."

"No. I'll leave it to National Geographic to explain. This isn't the place to explain the birds and the bees between sloths, you know."

"Gee, just say sex like a normal person, Ben."

"Shush, Klaus."

"You shush yourself, Ben."

"Hey," Diego hissed beside Klaus. "Are you two seriously doing it right now? There have been cam-cameras on us since we entered the hall. Spare the l-lesson on sloth mating for la-later."

Klaus rolled his eyes. Spoilsport Diego. Typical. "So what if there are cameras? They already caught us on cam this morning."

"I don't n-need to explain, Klaus."

"Or you can just calm the fuck down, Diego. You look like you're ready to pee on your shorts," Klaus taunted, earning him a murderous scowl from his brother. It only made him want to egg him more. "Now wipe that look, Diego dear. There are cameras, remember?"

Diego

He was this close to smacking Klaus's arm. He might, Diego firmly believed. He usually was right when it came to Klaus.

If he could simply cool down the twist in his stomach, that was.

Diego thought it would eat him from the inside. It was a monstrous mix of anxiety and fear and annoyance that he could only associate to his family because he knew them, he knew his brothers and sisters and how all of them weren't exactly prime examples of civility under immense pressure and close attention that bordered on suffocating.

Don't get him started on how most of them have the penchant to run their mouth and say what was on their mind, often leading to worse situations.

Still, he kept quiet. The scolding wouldn't be coming from him, not when Five was there and Allison was the one who certainly has a good head on her shoulder in terms of public speaking.

To think that Diego grew up with five of them doing interviews as the celebrated Umbrella Academy kids.

Diego found himself for the 8th time wishing that the evening would be over quick.

Luther

They should have been sitting in order.

He did suggest the seating arrangement but someone made a valid point that they weren't to be known by numbers again (except for Five who got to keep it as a name) and would rather be recognized by their own names.

Hence the embossed name tags to identify each of them by.

Luther sat primly on his chair at the rightmost. He was mildly aware that his posture appeared awkward since he was used to curling his body to himself lest he occupied too much space. He was yet to correct that in his thirteen-year-old body, apparently.

He sneaked a glance to his siblings who at a quick look appeared to be fairing decently, except maybe for Diego who looked pale. Klaus was beside him and seemed to be distracting Diego quite well with Ben. Good for them.

He grew up to this kind of public appearances, longer than his brothers and sisters when he had been the one left by Dad's side. Luther could relax. In a bit.

If only Five would stop tapping the table with his finger distractingly and looking like he was about to jump away from this place.

They really should have set a proper seating arrangement.

Five

This was a bad idea.

A bad idea that Five had no say to since the other option they were supposed to have was unavailable at the moment, namely taking his siblings and carting them off with him to another world or time where they would be more accepted should the course of the evening turned out to be against their favor.

Five couldn't care less about pandering to the masses; he and his siblings weren't here to prove a point. They were here to get their heads together and plan their next move while Vanya developed a semblance of control of her destructive abilities.

True, the acceptance of the public was more preferable than a backlash due to being technically aliens after this world just resisted an extraterrestrial invasion. Though thinking about it thoroughly, this was one thing they could do without so long as the right people of this world were in favor of them.

While Five could probably stomach a few hours of the evening, it hardly meant that he liked being surrounded and focused on by a crowd of strangers who would pounce on them with one slip of a wrong word. His thirteen-year-old self might have basked in the attention, but Five didn't give a shit about it now .

"Gosh, Five, you're doing a good impersonation of someone in withdrawal," Klaus mock-whispered to him, leaning across Ben. "It's the itchy feeling, isn't it? Like you can't sit still and you want to bolt out any moment."

"What? "

"I'm saying continue that restless leg and the impatient finger tapping and they'll think you're on something," Klaus said flatly.

"I am not—" Five hissed, leaning on the same level as Klaus. "Like I care what they think."

"I'm sure you don't, darling, but think of the other children, hm? Look, the cameras are on us, say hi."

Five didn't want to hear this from Klaus, of all people, and he was positively seething at Klaus at that point.

The nerve of this—

The growing murmurs among the press signaled Stark's arrival from the fucking open ceiling, and Stark landed in as Iron Man as if he owned the room. Five still couldn't see the point of Stark not coming with them, but since it did spare them the embarrassment from having that kind of ridiculous entrance, they were good.

About bloody time this man arrived.

Tony

He took one look at the siblings and, yep, they were a nervous wreck, alright.

It was actually pretty funny if Tony wasn't on edge as well—not that he would acknowledge it, of course. Certainly not when he was currently in the company of the circus that he should be expertly acquainted with.

Tony flashed a winning smile that must have been more shark-like and drunk. Ten bucks that the cameras got it judging by Klaus's conspiratorial grin and Five's unimpressed glare.

A quick check of the time once out of his suit read exactly eight. Huh. Would you look at that? He was on time for a press con. Tony clapped his hands, an excessive gesture given the focus already on him and his charges.

"So, questions?"

"Is it true then that you are aliens who possess the appearance of human children?"

"What's your purpose for coming to Earth? You are aware that we recently had visitors and they were not the pleasant kind."

"Can you help us understand how it was from your point of view, especially when you came down to our planet? In layman's terms, how does the portal between worlds work?"

"Is there a planet with more of your race?"

"Any Earth dish you like so far?"

In which they were answered with:

"We are children and human in composition," Luther replied succinctly.

"We're aware of the state of affairs but only after we were accommodated here and were informed of where we landed," Allison answered evenly.

"Layman's terms," Five echoed, and for a moment, Tony thought the kid would bite the head off of the journalist who asked the question. "To put it simply, our arrival to this world was purely accidental. We did not have a specific location in mind, much less another universe. If you're going to ask what I mean by that, I'm afraid it will take more than 'layman's terms'."

"In relation to what my brother said, we are not from another planet but rather from another dimension with a universe of its own. We are from Earth as well, just not this Earth that you live in," Ben explained.

"No offense but the food isn't that different from back home." It was unsurprising that Klaus was the one who answered that particular question. He shrugged. "I am interested in trying out this menudo though." Tony made a mental note of that for later.

Despite Tony's initial belief, the siblings were able to answer each and every question directed at them without the need for Tony's interference. It was odd, though, that the questions sounded… normal, for the lack of a better term, far from what he and the siblings had talked and prepared themselves for (mostly the kids because when did Tony care at all).

It was as if there was water being tested, which, wow, he wasn't expecting that from these vultures, of all people, and as if there was another shoe waiting to be dropped.

Tony was in the middle of sharing his 'wonderful bonding' with his guests, a response which might have laid on a bit thickly especially when he mentioned how the children have been cute and adorable so far when his eyes found a familiar face of an on-off acquaintance.

Ah, Everhart.

Tony supposed that was the cue to the incoming shit storm.

He remembered her with a bit of fondness for her sharp tongue (in more ways than one) and her refusal to hide her bias. Also one of the few journalists that left a lasting impression on Tony.

"A question for Mr. Stark and the Hargreeves," Everhart began with an affable smile that Tony believed was to put the kids at ease. "Seeing as you have these wholesome stories to tell, does that mean there are no hard feelings there given that you guys are basically uninvited aliens here on our Earth and should prove to be threats will be eliminated by the heroes, which Tony Stark is a leading part of, of this planet who proved themselves capable and first and foremost protectors of the humankind?" Everhart addressed Tony specifically when she added, "You carried a nuclear bomb straight to these aliens to end them. Should your charges turn rogue, will you be willing to do the same measure to protect us?"

"I'm sorry, but aren't we confusing Chitauris from them? I don't know about you, Ms. Everhart, but to me, they hardly look the same."

"Except we're not here to distinguish them based on appearances, Mr. Stark," said another reporter, a man with dark hair and cheap blue suit. "Loki looks every bit human himself, so is Thor, but the sole distinction we have between the visitors that we have in the last two years is their purpose here on Earth. At the risk of sounding cliché, appearances can be deceiving."

Surprisingly, Everhart didn't appear put off to have someone else following up, and Tony realized that it was exactly what she wanted.

"And I agree; that's a valid concern," Tony conceded. "But are we also forgetting that Loki brought an army here with him within a few days?"

"Because he had the fastest means to," another journalist pointed out, a woman this time with dirty-blonde hair and thick glasses that made her look more like an academic than a reporter. "Who's to say the Hargreeves are not biding their time?" she asked bluntly.

"In relation to that," another man cut in, older than the first, "Aren't you concerned, Mr. Stark, that there could be a ploy going on? Think of it this way: you're a pioneer of advanced tech known on Earth, and a close relationship with you will definitely benefit the other party. And with the portal that poured armies of aliens on New York was opened at your very tower, it's fair to assume that it can happen again in the near future but without any hitch because the instigators are basically living with you."

It was a millisecond, as quick as a blink, but Tony hated with a passion that flash of hesitance. There were words at the tip of his tongue, an automatic response of sarcastic remarks that would be thrown uselessly to these bunch as if he was talking to a brick wall because they were right. They were damn right, and it should have been Tony who should have asked these to himself first and foremost before taking the children under his wing while the memory of the mothership and the bomb on his hands remained fresh on his mind and plagued his sleep. But he never really thought of it this way.

Then again, he never truly put a lot of consideration on a lot of aspects of his life—surprise, surprise—which was why he was here, making statements regarding seven children who happened to be present but as if invisible while the adults around them deliberated why they should be kept around.

Tony was almost afraid to look their way and see their reaction.

Turning to the children, Everhart suddenly said after the lengthening silence from their side, in a firm but a much softer tone, "My apologies. Please understand that we're not persecuting you. As the natives of this planet, we want an assurance that there won't be a repeat of the invasion soon or in the future. We have protection, yes, but most of us are only normal folks who have to deal with the trauma, emotionally and mentally, of the catastrophe."

"If it's an assurance, then you have it when they responded to the bank robbery this morning, which, believe it or not, was a collective decision they made among themselves and without my knowledge," Tony said.

"Their immediate response at the robbery was admirable, no one was denying that," Everhart began neutrally that didn't ease Tony's ominous feeling. "But it wasn't the first display of their capabilities either, was it?"

Tony noticed the siblings sharing confused looks between themselves. Everhart smiled benignly at their confusion and smirked at Tony's apparent cluelessness.

"The video will speak for itself."

A shaky video clearly taken from a mobile phone was played on the large screen behind Tony and the kids. It started with a view of the desert under blistering heat until the video blurred as it zoomed in to the distant sight of men in dark uniforms carrying firearms, poised to attack at whatever was about to come from the small wormhole looming above.

Tony didn't have to see the men's symbol to recognize S.H.I.E.L.D. Specifically, S.H.I.E.L.D. when the children first appeared on Earth. The video caught the exact moment seven childlike-figures falling from the wormhole, and the brief scene of exchange between Fury and Five, the former with his back turned and unrecognizable to the public, got the press enraptured despite the conversation that couldn't be heard.

It wasn't long until a fight broke out, with Five tackling most of Fury's agents with expertise on hand-to-hand that belied his small form, age, and Nat's reading. That was the cue for his brothers, apparently; Diego's knives glinted under the sun as it flew and incapacitated his own share of opponents, and then there was Luther showing an impressive feat of his superstrength and bodily throwing trained S.H.I.E.L.D. agents around like nobody's business. The rest took on a more defensive approach, particularly for their unconscious sibling at that time, Vanya.

Tony hadn't been there during the fight, and, begrudgingly, he understood Fury's wariness from this point of view. The children were obviously downplaying what they were capable of. Three of them, at least.

Tony was impressed, alright, but with the footage leaking out in national coverage and seeing the light for the first time, it was bad.

And with S.H.I.E.L.D. purposefully showing the video which conveniently didn't show how Fury provoked the kids to attack, it was worse.

Tony didn't know either whether to applaud or strangle Fury himself because Fury just had to have the last laugh.

"Well," Tony began casually as the playback ended. "Normally, I'd ask who your source is, but I think I know." Tony shifted on his seat and abandoned his prior laidback stance. He could still salvage this. "Filmshowing's over."

Multiple hands rose simultaneously, and Tony was aware that this was where he should begin picking his battles, for him and the children. They were under scrutiny enough as it was, and any while he knew that choosing anyone from the press wouldn't make the next assault of questions less relentless.

"Before we answer any of your questions, can I say something first on behalf of my siblings?"

It was Allison who spoke and stood, addressing the press and the cameras. Tony sent her a nod which he hoped came across as an encouragement.

Allison simply smiled and held her chin high.

"The first thing we want to say is: thank you," she began. "As my brother said, we landed here accidentally. The people who first found us had every right to expose our presence here in your world, but they didn't. For that alone, we were grateful despite the allusion that we were to be led by some facility equipped to study us further." Her lips thinned. "That's the thing, isn't it? Wherever we might have happened to us if we went there instead, it would be justified by the agency tasked with the utmost protection of the people of this world, and we were the aliens with powers. With or without a fight, we were already threats. Too much of a risk to leave unattended. And after the disaster that befell this Earth, it won't hurt to be extra careful.

"To our surprise, instead of waking up to rank metal tables or hooked with tubes and pumped with chemicals, we woke to a tower, each of us separated by beds but together in one room, unbound and free to wander around. Next thing we knew, we were introduced to Mr. Stark and his lovely partner, Miss Potts. Frankly, they were not the kind of people my siblings and I were accustomed to living together under one roof.

"Our father raised us to his liking, like his personal army of heroes that would grow up and flourish bearing his teachings and principles. It took us years to realize that he wasn't the kind of father who treated us as a father should his kids. We were as good as an expensive collection to him: pretty to look at and brought him prestige and renown, nothing more. I guess calling him 'father' was undeserving of him.

"And it was weird because we used to think that it was normal and that the hospitality Mr. Stark and Miss Potts showed us were unnatural. Figures that we just lacked the experience of having real parental figures to recognize that we were being cared for the way we should have been.

"We don't belong here, we know, and my family and I can only dream of being a part of this world, enough to call it ours the same way you all do. But we'd like it to be our home either way, a chance for us to build foundations that we don't have and gain meaningful experiences that we missed out on. This time, like normal children who don't have to live up to expectations just because we have these special abilities. My siblings and I might no longer be in our own world, but as long as we're together, home is where the whole family is.

"And trust us when we say that we guard and protect our home as fiercely as we take care of each other."

Tony took note of the silence that followed Allison's heartfelt speech, broken only by clicks of cameras and scattered murmurs. No one dared raise a hand again, and, honestly, it was a victory already in Tony's book.

His smirk at Allison's subtle conspiratorial wink at him when she sat down again only meant one thing: Atta girl.

That was Tony's signal as well, he supposed. "What the young lady said, and, oh, FYI I'm officially adopting them so if you want to get through my kids, you're going to have to come through me and Pepper first."

If Tony's sudden announcement was met with an uproar, that was par for the course when it came to Tony Stark.

TBC