A/N: I don't know why, but I just thought this was a really cute idea. I love Oliver being a slightly out of depth, but, still decent, parent. Let me know what you think!
The sound of the car door slamming was Oliver's first clue that Roy wasn't in a great mood. His second clue was the way the teenager slumped down and crossed his arms.
'Do I ask now?' Oliver wondered as he pulled away from the school and drove toward home. 'Or do I wait?' Another glance at Roy showed he was glaring a hole through the windshield. 'Later it is.' The silence from Roy kept building in intensity. By the time they got home, Oliver was just waiting for him to explode. He hesitated in the doorway of the front hall, watching as Roy headed for the stairs. The teen took two steps up, then froze. Oliver sighed. 'Three…two…one-'
"I hate school!" Roy shouted suddenly. He threw took his bag off and threw it across the room. It hit the wall right next to where Oliver was standing. "I hate school and girls and everything!" He ran up the stairs, every step seeming to echo louder than the one before it.
Oliver sighed and rubbed his face. "Ok. Do I ask now, or later?" If he asked now, Roy would explode at him, but if he also knew there was a window of time Roy would be willing to talk about something bothering him at school. "Now it is." He picked up Roy's bag and slowly made his way up to the teen's room. When he got there, he knocked on the door. "Hey, Roy?"
"Go away!"
"Do you want to tell me why you're chucking backpacks at me?"
"I said go away, Ollie!"
"I won't leave until you tell me why you're so upset."
"Then you'll be standing there forever!"
"That's fine. I've got all the time in the world. It's one of the perks of owning your own business." There was no reply. Oliver sighed. "Three…two….one-" The door opened and Roy glared at Oliver. The man opened his mouth to ask about Roy's red-rimmed eyes but then closed it. One question at a time. "Come on, talk to me, kid. What happened? Did someone….shove you into a locker?"
"No." Roy quickly rubbed at his eyes quick and Oliver pretended like he didn't hear how rough the teen's voice was.
"What happened then?"
Roy sniffed and looked at the ground. He was quiet for a moment, then took a breath. "There's this girl in my gym class, English class, and science class. Her name is Emily and she has this really long, curly brown hair, blue eyes, and always smells like strawberries."
"Sounding a little stalker-like, but you're 15 and hormonal, so I'll let it slide. What did she do?"
Roy sighed. "I-I asked her to go see a movie with me next weekend."
"And…?" Oliver could already see the direction of the conversation and he really hated it.
"And she asked why she should go out with a red-haired freak like me, who wouldn't even know her name if I wasn't lucky enough to be Oliver Queen's charity case."
"Ouch." The glare he was getting from Roy told Oliver that his response wasn't appreciated. "That really sucks kid."
Roy snorted and rolled his eyes. "Yeah, sure."
"What'd you mean?"
"Like you know what this feels like."
"I hate to break it to you, kid, but your feeling is pretty much universal. It doesn't make you special."
"I doubt you know how it feels! No girl has ever said no to you in your life!"
"That's not true!"
"Name three women who've turned you down for a date!"
"There's… How about….."
"See? Face it, Ollie, that's just another part of my life you do not, and will not, understand!"
"Roy-"
"Just leave me alone!" Roy slammed his bedroom door shut.
Oliver sighed and set the bag down outside the door. 'He's not wrong though…. Women always want attention from me. Poor, Roy. The first time he asks a girl out and she shoots him down and insults him. I really wish I knew how to help him.' He rubbed his goatee as he walked. A smile spread across his face as he walked down the hall. 'I've got an idea.'
— —
After the Justice League meeting that night, Green Arrow jumped out of his seat. "Black Canary," he said, reaching out for the blonde heroine before she could leave. As soon as his fingertips touched her arm, she spun around and gave him a glare. Green Arrow pulled his hand back. "No touching got it. I have a question-"
"No," Black Canary replied.
"You didn't let me finish my question."
"The answer is always no with you, Green Arrow."
"Just- Hey!" Green Arrow reach out again and touched her arm to keep her from leaving. "If you won't do me a favor, then could you do it to help Speedy?"
"What's wrong with Speedy?" Green Lantern asked, joining his friend.
"He asked a girl out at school and she shot him down big time. He's taking it pretty hard."
"What do you want me to do?" Black Canary asked in confusion.
"I want you to come to Star City so I can ask you out."
"….What?"
"I want you to come to Star so I can ask you out, and you can tell me no."
"Why?" Green Lantern asked, a little amused.
"Because….I don't really know what it's like to get rejected by girls."
"You're kidding," Black Canary scoffed. She studied his face and gave him a look of genuine shock. "You've never been rejected by a girl?"
"No."
"How?!"
"Is it really that hard to believe?"
"He's a billionaire and good-looking," Green Lantern replied like it was obvious. "Why would they say no?"
"His personality, his gross playboy antics, the fact that he needs to be right about everything," Black Canary said, ticking the items off on her fingers.
"Ok, Ok, we get it," Green Arrow replied as he held his hands up. "Will you help me out or not?"
"Yes, but only because I feel really bad for Speedy."
"Whatever works. Come to Star tomorrow night around….7:30. I'll make sure Speedy and I are downtown."
"And if Speedy wonders why I'm there?"
"Uh….You caught a criminal from Star in Seattle and wanted to return him."
"Sounds good." Black Canary walked away and Green Arrow sighed.
"Speedy's having girl troubles?" Green Lantern asked when she was gone.
"Unfortunately," Green Arrow replied. "Teenagers are cruel."
"You're doing a good thing for him, GA."
"Thanks."
— —
The next night, Green Arrow could see Black Canary making her way towards him and Speedy. 'Great timing.'
"Hey, GA, isn't that Black Canary?" Speedy asked.
"Looks like it. Let's go be gentlemen and meet her so we can see what she wants."
"Alright."
The two archers met Black Canary after three blocks. "Speedy," Black Canary smiled. She looked at Green Arrow with a straight-faced look. "Green Arrow."
"What brings you to Star?" Green Arrow asked as he made sure not to look at Speedy.
"I caught a criminal in Seattle who belongs in Star. So I'm doing your job."
"Well, we appreciate the help. Don't we, Speedy?"
"Yeah, thanks, Canary," Speedy said.
"You're welcome."
"Uh…Speedy," Green Arrow said. "Can you give us a minute?"
"Fine." Speedy wandered away a few feet but stayed close enough that he could eavesdrop.
"Thank you for your help, Black Canary."
"You're welcome," Black Canary replied.
"You know, you're very beautiful and intelligent. And weirdly scary, which I love." Black Canary hummed and flipped her hair over her shoulder. "I was wondering if maybe you'd like to go out with me sometime?"
'He's unbelievable,' Speedy thought as he rolled his eyes. 'What a jerk-'
"Not in your dreams, arrow boy," Black Canary replied.
Speedy turned around. 'What?!'
"But-" Green Arrow began, but a look from Black Canary shut him up.
"Whatever reason you give those airheads I always see hanging off you in the tabloids, I'm not nearly shallow enough to fall for them. I have much better stuff to do with my time." She walked away but waved to Speedy as she left. "Bye, Speedy."
"Bye, Canary," Speedy replied quietly as he waved. He rejoined his mentor and gave him a cautious look. "So…patrol?"
"….Yeah, Iet's go."
It was silent between the two archers for a few blocks as they ran across the rooftops. Eventually, Speedy sooke up hesitantly. "Uh….Black Canary really didn't want to go out with you."
"Guess not. Feels like crap, huh?"
"Yeah…"
Green Arrow put an arm around him. "I know it feels like the end of the world when a girl you like doesn't think that highly of you, but I promise it isn't."
"I know but….what if no girl ever goes out with me?"
"One will. She's just one girl, Speedy. You'll have plenty of other opportunities."
"….You sure?"
"Absolutely. There's a girl out there for everyone."
"I don't know. Seems like the girls at my school don't have the best opinion of me."
"There's several hundred of them. At least one of them has to be willing to give you a chance."
"… I was hoping you being rich would make me seem… more datable."
"Oh no, no, no. Speedy, you don't want those kinds of girls. Trust me on this. You do not need or want girls who only like you if you're rich."
"How else am I supposed to impress them? That's what you do."
"Word of advice: do the opposite of what I do."
Speedy thought about it for a moment. That was a decent point. "Is that why you lie Black Canary? Because she's not impressed by your money?"
"Exactly. She has standards for personality and morals, which I hope to someday reach. Give it some time."
"Ok. I guess I could try asking out Kylee. She's even prettier than Emily and she smells like vanilla."
"Please stop smelling these girls."
"I don't smell them! Their perfume is so thick it…follows them around."
"….That's better I guess."
Speedy rolled his eyes and Green Arrow gave him a one-armed hug. The younger archer made a face and pulled away from his mentor. 'If even Ollie can get shot down by a girl then I guess it's not so bad. At least it's not just me.'
— —
At the next League meeting, Green Lantern noticed how Green Arrow didn't make any moves to talk to Black Canary. He approached his friend and leaned against the wall next to him. "How did your little plan go?" he asked.
"Perfectly," Green Arrow replied. "Speedy's feeling better and he's even been carrying the backpack of the next girl he plans to ask out."
"So he's recovered then."
"I told him he would. He just had to believe it was the end of the world."
Green Lantern rolled his eyes. "He's 15, GA. Everything is the end of the world to him."
"Hm."
Green Lantern looked at his friend, then traced his gaze across the room to where Black Canary was talking to Wonder Woman. "That's a good thing you did for Speedy."
"I tricked him."
"You let a woman you've been crushing on hard for the last year put you down so he'd feel better about himself. It's gotta hurt that the first time you actually ask her out she-"
"I wasn't actually asking her out, Flyboy. It was a trick."
"Uh-huh. And you haven't thought at all about how if you really asked her out that's what she'd say?" There was no reply. "Thought so."
"Don't you have an alien to punch somewhere?"
Green Lantern smiled and chuckled a little bit. "Don't take it so hard, buddy. She'll see something besides flaws eventually. You can be an acquired taste."
Green Arrow rolled his eyes and shoved his friend. "Jerk."
"I'm right. Anyone willing to get turned down just to make a teenager feel better is a good guy underneath."
"I just wish she saw that."
"She will, I promise. Just give it time."
'Time,' Green Arrow scoffed as he crossed his arms and watched Black Canary. 'I don't want to wait. It feels like I've spent my whole life waiting for a woman like her.' He sighed. 'Oh well. At least I've still got Roy. As long as he's still navigating the pitfalls of teen romance, we can be bachelors together.'