It was dark.

Something dark o'clock.

I didn't really care.

I often sit in the dark.

Listening.

Alert.

Poised to strike.

Always aware of my surroundings.

Vigilant.

Watching.

Waiting.

Thinking.

Focused and intent.

Working to the plan.

Strategising.

Moves and counter-moves.

Listening to the distant sounds.

Listening for disturbances closer by.

Straining to feel and sense changes in my surroundings, both nearby and beyond.

Poised to act and react.

There were no explosions or gunfire.

No flash bombs or snipers.

No illuminating flares.

No tracers.

No fighter jets or helicopters.

None of those mysterious glows from said fighter jets.

So here I sit and breathe.

Listening.

Taking it all in.

Just relatively peaceful sounds.

Not the eerie stillness in a desert conflict or mountainous warzone.

Not the relative quiet in some benign dark jungle.

It's remarkable how the peaceful, lush greenery can belie the sinister threats hidden in the foliage or the leaf litter below.

The traps and snares, furtively hidden, to catch one unawares.

Not the jaguar, dangerous snakes and poisonous plants and natural dangers lurking within.

The animals sense it and I've used their actions to my advantage and saved my life.

Reading the jungle has become second nature.

But in this concrete jungle the predators and threats are of a totally different nature.

For me, being away from those distant hell holes of the earth, this was peaceful.

Well, that is, if the sounds of a city at night could ever be considered peaceful.

In actual fact, I tell a lie.

There is an element of relief being back in the relative safety of being on mainland soil, terra firma even with the distant sirens.

However, it is all relative, isn't it?

There are hidden dangers lurking here too, tangible dangers.

But I digress.

I take a deep cleansing, calming breath.

Sitting here, in the dark, listening, feeling, absorbing, watching and memorising.

However, there are other things that I memorise.

I can ignore the negative thoughts and experiences that resonate through my soul. I feel them to the core. I have lived it in spades. I shut them back, shut them down, compartmentalise them, to deflect and ward off their negativity. I am not memorising the past and the dangers beyond the relative borders of safety.

I am in the moment.

I am here, here in the dark.

Listening.

Alert.

Always aware of my surroundings.

Watching.

Thinking.

But most of all reflecting … and channelling my thoughts.

And relaxing.

Having established a very successful security business in three states enabled me to decompress further after returning stateside. It enabled men like me, soldiers and marines, SEALs and other servicemen, to return to civilian life while utilising our skills with mutual support during the difficult transition from active service. It gave me purpose. It gave them purpose and direction and a sense of worth.

Yoga and mindfulness enable me to separate the extraordinarily polar elements of my life.

With the knowledge of yin and yang, knowing how seemingly opposite or contrary forces may actually be complementary, interconnected, and interdependent in the natural world, and how they may give rise to each other as they interrelate to one another, I empower and channel my thoughts.

In the dark.

Breathing and relaxing.

Balancing.

Channelling.

Memorising and reflecting on all that is good in my life.

All that is decent and virtuous in my world.

I sigh and immediately roll my eyes with a silent chuckle, shaking my head at my reaction.

I smile.

She stirs.

"Ranger?" she asks sleepily, hopeful, a hand reaching out to me.

"Yeah, Babe."

She sits up, fully awake now, smiling broadly with a happy sigh.

I slowly take off my clothing and she comes closer to assist me.

I smile as I feel and smell her sleepy warmth.

"You found me," she whispered in wonder.

Man, I am so glad I found her, those eventful four years ago.

"I knew you would."

I smile at her confidence in me.

I remove her little boy shorts and the tight tank top that she loves to sleep in. She's looking cuter by the day but in the dim light of my bedroom, she looks heavenly.

I touch her warm skin confirming the truth, that tangible truth, scattering the last tendrils of doubt and fear. This is real. This is now.

Skin to skin validation, something we both need.

It's not a dream. This is real. This is us.

"You have a chair here, too."

I agree with a muffled "Mm-hm," as my lips roam over her warm skin, slowly, up and down her neck, along her jawbone to her warm luscious lips as my hand follows the soft contours of her body.

"I missed you."

"Me too. I am so damned pleased to be home, Babe."

Both our hands and mouths became frantic seeking confirmation of my return. Nothing more needed to be said. Muffled sounds and heavy breathing hastened need, hunger and lust, and love, so much love, until we both tumbled over that magical precipice of ecstasy and euphoria.

We lay there, breathing heavily, smiling, kissing, touching, validating. She made those sweet little moans that I love.

"The chair?"

"Yes?" I grinned at her persistence and curiosity.

"You have a chair here, too."

"So you have already observed," I teased.

I grinned down at her as I lay on my side, stroking the length of her side from her thigh to her shoulder and along her arm that rested on her tummy. I kissed her slowly and deeply before I kissed that beautiful tummy of hers, visualising our special surprise and joy within. I placed many sweet kisses on her soft tummy that was now showing as a sweet blossoming bump. I whispered sweet affirmations in Spanish to our little love bump.

"How did you know I was here?"

"Your car."

"It's in the garage."

"But …?"

"I work in security. Since I installed their security system, I have inside information. Besides, I have a key."

She punched me playfully. I could practically hear her eyes roll. I nudged her and kissed her again. She was my kryptonite. Dios mio.

"You weren't at the apartment and you were not at the house, ergo, you must be here."

Answering my unasked question, she confessed, "Your parents are very excited and insisted I stay when I was sort of reluctant to leave the safety and warmth here, just to be all alone in the house. I was a bit forlorn and lost. They kept me fed. I felt so safe and grounded."

"As you do for me."

I kissed her nose.

"You know how I like to watch you sleep. I love to hear you breathe and make those sweet sleepy sounds. Sometimes you say my name. It is something amazing, what you do for me in your slumber, like chasing all the demons away."

"You make me feel stronger when you are here."

She was deep in thought for a bit, gently placing her hand over mine on her little bump.

She giggled.

"I feel like a teenager."

I looked at her, waiting for clarification.

"We had sex in your parents' house."

"We made love, in my bedroom."

"I like your bedroom. It made me feel closer to you. And I love your bed, especially with you in it."

"Shall I take you home, Querida?"

"No. I want to stay warm and close, and wake up in your arms later this morning."

"Alright. Your wish is my command, Mrs Mañoso."

.o.o.o.o.

THE END