"Astrid… Astrid…" the gentle whisper came from beside her.

Vaguely, she registered the sunlight passing across her face as her eyes fluttered open. The first thing she saw was Hiccup's emerald eyes staring down at her. She let out a small yawn as she sat up "Morning"

Morning… Wait a minute...

She groaned "Dang it"

She spent so much time working on her presents for the riders last night . She was exhausted when she finished and completely crashed.

"Yup" he grinned "I win"

"Yeah, yeah" she dismissed, getting up from the floor "Remind what I have to do again?"

"Build the guest hut on the Edge"

"Right, right" she shrugged "Oh well, could be worse"

"True, you could have to do it with Snotlout"

"Oh please, that would still basically be me doing it by myself. All he would do is brag about great he is at building huts whilst making me do all the work"

"True, although he did build his own hut. Then again, he also built that so that he had the right place his S"

"His what?"

"You know, that massive S he has hanging in front of his hut"

"Oh yeah" Astrid thought back "Why does he have that anyways?"

"Well the S stands for Snotlout-"

"I got that Hiccup" the teen deadpanned "I meant why does he need the S?"

"I'm not sure, helps his ego maybe"

"I don't think his ego needs help"

"We all know it doesn't, but you try and talk him into getting rid of it"

"Nope, that was not part of our agreement"

"Well maybe it should part of our next one"

"You'd really risk that? Having to talk Snotlout into reducing his ego?"

He paused for thought "Yeah, no. That's impossible"

"Thought so" she smirked

"So anyways, you ready to go?"

Right. The tour. It had totally slipped her mind. Even though she felt like spending time alone with Hiccup was a slight betrayal to Camicazi, a part of her still felt excited. The last time she spent time alone with Hiccup was when he was comforting her last week. It was nice to think that they were going to just spend some time together and hang out. At the end of the day, they were still friends. Besides, she enjoyed Hiccup's company. Saying no would have only hurt his feelings, and that was the last thing she wanted to do.

She moved her arm to wake Starlight only to find falling straight to the ground "Star?"

Hiccup pointed to the corner where Starlight was playing with Toothless. The humans shared a smile "I guess they wanted a bit of time to themselves"

"I'm surprised they didn't wake anyone else up" Astrid said, looking at the riders around them

"To be fair, they are quite quiet, plus the riders are all pretty deep sleepers"

"Clearly" she scoffed playfully, getting up from the ground "Come on, we should get going"

"Good idea" he replied as they walked over to their dragons.

Starlight bounded over to her rider and nuzzled her excitedly, Toothless also did a similar motion, causing a giggle to escape Astrid's lips "Morning furies"

"Hey, I'm here too you know" Hiccup joked with mock offense

Toothless then went to his own rider and licked him enthusiastically "Agh Toothless! You know that doesn't wash out!"

The former let out a sound that could only be a laugh. Astrid smiled with glee at the two "You guys are hilarious"

He glared at her playfully as he shook his hands "I'll get him to lick you too"

"What are we doing still standing around?" Astrid questioned swiftly "Let's go!"

And like that they were off. The four trampled the snow covering Berk with Hiccup occasionally spouting little fun facts or stories about certain locations. Astrid took every detail in with a lively interest. She was eager to know everything about the riders' pasts, given how they had all grown up together. It amazed her how Hiccup held no resentment towards Berk in the slightest. She knew about how he had been treated for the majority of his life on this land. The ways he'd been pushed around, underestimated and isolated by his now peers. Of course Astrid knew it wasn't all bad for him. Camicazi and Fishlegs had still been his friends and this man, Gobber he said, seemed to care about him a whole lot. Even from the stories she'd heard, his dad did really love him, he just didn't know how to express it. Still, the bullying, the ostracizing, she didn't fully understand how those memories didn't darken Berk's skies for him even a little bit. The way he spoke about Berk, he thought of it as one of the best places in the world. She could never be like that. Astrid definitely felt indignation towards the fleets she'd been trapped on and she knew it. But then again, she also knew that she wasn't like Hiccup. He had an easier time putting his past behind him than she did. She forgave easily, but she never forgot and she had a feeling that Hiccup was the same way. The only difference was that, even if Hiccup remembered, he didn't care. Astrid always did. When she forgave, it was always authentic, but it still made her cautious for future endeavours. She took her time, too much time. It was in these moments where she wished she could be more like Hiccup.

"You know, Starlight's the same colour as the snow" he observed casually.

She looked down and saw what he meant. Starlight's scales blended into the snow perfectly, but then she saw something else and began giggling "Her eyes aren't though"

They couldn't help but laugh at that. It basically looked like two eyes just floating above the ground "I suppose it is better that she uses her mirror scales"

"It makes both of our lives easier, people still freak her out a little and the I really don't want either of us to become the centre of attention" Astrid explained

"You wouldn't be able to tell from the way she acts on the Edge"

"That's because she's used to you guys. You're a small group. This is a whole village, she's never been exposed to this kind of setting before"

"I'm sure she'll adjust with time"

"I mean, we're only here for a couple more days. She's a strong dragon, she'll survive"

Suddenly, Hiccup and Astrid fell into silence and they both knew why. They were talking with completely different time frames. The time it took her and Starlight to adjust properly to the Edge was months. He wanted them to do that again. Meanwhile, Astrid was discussing everything in the short term. She didn't want to think months ahead because, simply put, she could be anywhere. That's not to say she wouldn't be with the riders, it was a possibility, but she didn't want to commit to any ideas and get his hopes up. Yet, the idea of telling him that still seemed impossible. Maybe it was because she knew how he would look at her. She'd see that glint of contained disappointment in his eyes and be oh so tempted to just tell him what he wanted, needed, to hear. And it wasn't his fault, he didn't purposely put on any looks to manipulate her, but she couldn't risk it. She couldn't let her heart take over without even consulting her brain first.

"Anyways" He cleared his throat "How are you finding Berk?"

"It's nice" she shifted her weight from one foot to the other "Very pretty. Still getting used to the looks though"

"Don't worry about that too much, they're not meant to be mean, they're just trying to figure you out"

'You've not seen them, how would you know?' she refrained from asking, it sounded too harsh, and he meant well.

"Figure me out?" She chose to ask instead.

"They've never heard of you or about you, they want to know who you are"

"I mean, they could just ask me" she laughed, but something about it felt a little forced.

"Berkians aren't exactly known for their sparkling conversational skills"

That drew a giggle out of her that was more authentic "Fair enough. It's not that bad, and it's not like I'm not already used to receiving odd looks, it just hasn't happened in a while"

"Talk on this island moves quickly, today it's about you and tomorrow it'll be about some argument Bucket and Mulch are having?"

"Huh?" she asked confused.

"Bucket and Mulch, they're farmers here"

"Ah" she said, recalling walking past a man with a bucket on his head "I have a feeling I know who you're talking about"

"You probably do, he's hard to miss"

She nodded before changing the topic "So I have a question about Snoggletog"

"Hopefully I'll have an answer"

"Why is it called Snoggletog?" she asked, tone filled with curiosity

"I have absolutely no idea" he answered honestly "Why we chose such a stupid name remains a mystery"

She smiled gently "Some things just aren't meant to be known"

It felt oddly amazing to be able to say that circumstances where it didn't mean anything serious, where it could just be a joke.

"Just like why my parents decided to name me Hiccup of all names"

"Maybe you hiccuped a lot as a baby"

"I also cried a lot as a baby, they didn't call me cry"

"I guess the origins of your name, like Snoggletog, will always be a mystery"

"Apparently so" he smiled before his face changed into something akin to nervousness "But speaking about Snoggletog, I have something for you"

Astrid felt the urge to frown, but didn't want come across as harsh "Hiccup" she began with a sigh "That's really sweet but-"

"I really didn't need to" he finished for her with a wink "Yeah, I knew you would say that Astrid, I know you"

She blushed at that. He really did know her. Or she was just predictable. There was a very real possibility that it could just be the second one, that's she wanted to tell herself. But really it was the first option. He knew her, weirdly well. But then, she could honestly say that she knew him to the same level. So maybe it wasn't so weird, still surprising though.

"Don't feel too proud" she told him playfully "Did you know that I have a present for you too"

"What? But Astrid, I told that nobody expected-"

"Me to bring gifts, but-"

"You wanted to"

She glared at him jokingly "Would you stop doing that?"

"Eh, we'll see how I feel" he teased "So do you want to go first or should I?"

"I don't mind. We could give them at the same time. Exchange on 3?"

His eyes lit up "Sure"

"1… 2… 3!"

As she handed him her gift she found a piece of paper being thrust into her hands. There was a drawing on it. Her eyes were drawn to the girl drawn in the centre, she was surrounded by dragons. She saw the two furies and then all the other types of dragons. Deadly nadders, gronckles, monstrous nightmares, hideous zipplebacks amongst many others. All of it was contained within a circle. Confused, she looked up at him.

"Read the back" he said simply as he marveled his own present.

So she turned the paper like he requested. She read:

'Dear Astrid

I know you haven't been with us long, but it really doesn't feel that way. The way you fit in with the other riders and me is so natural, it feels like we've known you our entire lives. Somehow, in a matter of months, you've developed bonds with us that we took years to build with each other. How did you do that? You'll have to tell me your secret. You bring out sides of some of the riders that I didn't know they had. Since coming here I think you've actually brought the riders a little closer together. Truly, you are a wonder to me. You were raised by hunters, but nobody would be able to guess that from how you behave. You're so kind to everyone and you've helped people embrace who they are more freely. Part of me thinks that you do that because you were brought up in an environment where your personality was oppressed so greatly. For the record, I don't see why anyone would want to do that to you, you're really great.

It's not just how you encourage others to be themselves, you encourage me as well. I've told you so much about myself and my past. I've told you things that I've never told anybody, not even Camicazi. I just trust you in a way I haven't trusted anyone. Corny, I know, still true. I don't mean to pour my heart in this letter or anything but I feel like you don't get to hear your positive qualities enough, and when people try to tell you, you don't listen. That's not your fault, you've never been given the chance to hear them before. So I'm writing it for you. You're easily the kindest and most caring person I know.You're a great listener, but you know when to call people out when they're saying the wrong things. You don't give yourself enough credit and you put almost every other person before yourself. The fact that you grew up with the hunters almost gives me hope in a way. It reminds me of the good that can be shown in people if they're given the chance.

I'll never know the full extent of how bad your life got with the hunters, but I'm okay with that, I'll listen to as much as you want to tell me. What I do know about your time with them is that you never felt like you were a part of them. That's why I drew this for you. Because, whether you leave or not, you're a part of us now. You're a rider for life, no matter where you go. I hope you'll stay with us, I think you'd be good here, but I know that it's your decision. Regardless, I want you to keep this. Obviously you don't want to associate yourself with the hunters crest and as riders, we don't have our own crest either. So this is yours. This is the Astrid crest. You'll see the dragons that stand out are the ones of our fellow riders. That's because those dragons represent their counterpart. The crest is 100% yours, I just felt that it would be a nice touch. Hopefully this can cheer you up if you ever feel lost or sad or confused. You've done so much for us these past months, no words or actions can truly sum up an appropriate thank you, but maybe this is a start.

Happy Snoggletog

Hiccup'

"It's not much, still, I hope you like it"

"Like it? Hiccup, I love it!" she smiled gently, trying to find the right words to express her gratitude "This is just… This is the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me. Thank you so much"

She couldn't figure out which part made her more emotional, the drawing or the words behind it. Gods, this was perfect. Seeing it almost made her realize how lonely she'd been before. What he said was true. Astrid didn't really know what it meant to belong somewhere, to have a home. It had been something she had longed for, but never seen as possible. Like she said to Heather, she wasn't sure if happiness was something that was meant to be in her life. But this made her happy, happier than she ever thought she could be. She still didn't know if she belonged with the riders, but moments like these made her think it was possible. However, she looked at the measly present in Hiccup's hands and that joy was replaced with sheer panic.

"You know what? I should take that back-" she giggled nervously, trying to take the gift from him.

"What? No! Why would you do that?" he asked, surprised.

"It's just a silly little chain" she told him, almost embarrassed.

"First of all, it's not silly. Second, it's not just a chain" he held it up, showing the two dragon scales she had used to decorate it "This one's a light fury scale and this one's a night fury scale"

"Yeah, I thought they could represent us" she admitted, realizing the gift wasn't nearly as thoughtful as she originally believed "I've done for all of the riders with their dragons' scales. But it's fine, you don't have to pretend to like it or anything, seriously it's fine, I can just take it back and-"

"Nope. Not happening" he smirked slipping the chain around his neck "It's mine now"

She finally gave up, smiling gently "I'm glad you like it"

"I love it" he repeated her words from earlier "It's perfect. You're perfect"

Clearly the words slipped out before he thought about it, because the way he whipped his head to the side and the fierceness of his blush couldn't have been intentional. He wasn't alone with the blushing, she could feel it on her face too. There were a lot of words Astrid would use to describe herself, but perfect was not one of them. She wasn't and she knew it, but it was still nice to hear.

"Well that couldn't be further from the truth" she joked, bringing back a more playful atmosphere "But thank you. You're perfect too"

"Couldn't be further from the truth, but thank you" He parroted once more

"Fine, you're perfect to me"

She wasn't joking when she said it. To her, he really was perfect. That's not to say she saw him as flawless. She knew he had his flaws, he jumped to conclusions and he could be a bit impulsive. Of course there were others as well, but she really didn't mind them. None of his flaws made her dislike him. It balances him in a way. His flaws enabled him to make mistakes, but he was sensible enough to learn and grow from them. That quality was pretty rare, she'd only seen it in a handful of people. Astrid wasn't even sure that she carried the trait. He never once saw her for who she was, but he did it in a way that didn't dismiss her background altogether. In a way, he was more accepting of her past than she was, all the riders were. None of them acted like she had never been a hunter, they knew she was, they just didn't care. She knew that if she ever wanted to talk to him about something, he would listen. He wouldn't try to undermine her problem or try and solve it for her, he would listen and just try to understand her. What's more, when she talked to him about her problems, she was always acutely aware of what she was saying and that was a big deal to her. It wasn't like other people, where she would make the confession and then realize the truth behind it. She would know exactly what she was saying when she said ir. She knew just how vulnerable she was making herself, and that was a big deal for her. The connection she had with Hiccup was more than she could ever ask for.

"Well if I'm perfect to you, you're perfect to me"

She smiled and looked down, cursing the heat in her cheeks. It was so hard to ignore her feelings for him when he said stuff like that. She didn't have much time to process her feelings, before she could even start she felt a swift kiss pressed onto her cheek. Her head shot up, eyes wide and smile even wider, which she hadn't realized was possible. She opened her mouth to say something but got beat to it.

"Hiccup! Astrid! There you guys are!" Camicazi called, walking to them with the other riders.

Astrid turned to Hiccup and she could see the same disappointment she was feeling reflected in his eyes. Still, it was a good reminder for her. She and Hiccup weren't meant to have moments like these. They were supposed to be reserved for him and Camicazi.

Speaking of, the latter came and hugged Astrid with cheer "Happy almost Snoggletog!"

"Happy almost Snoggletog!" she returned, grinning at the whole gang "I have something for everyone"

Xxxx

Time had passed quickly. Snoggletog had come and gone and now everyone was getting ready for departure. Well, almost everyone. Astrid didn't really have many belongings, therefore meaning she didn't have many belongings to pack up. Instead, she was idly wandering around observing everything around her. There were so many families around her, it was a truly heartwarming sight. One thing she had learned over the last couple of days was that Berk was very much a community. During the celebrations there wasn't a single person that wasn't smiling. Meeting Stoick was terrifying, naturally, but he had much been much more welcoming than expected. She should have seen it coming, he was Hiccup's father after all, and Hiccup was hands down one of, if not the, kindest person she'd ever met. There had been one moment that had been slightly unusual though.

"What did you say your name was lass?"

"My name's Astrid"

He froze and simply stared at her, causing her panic levels to rise internally. Did he know her? Surely he couldn't hate her already.

"Dad? You okay?" Hiccup asked concerned

"I'm fine son" he answered, but he was looking straight at her "How old are you Astrid?"

"Eighteen" she answered somewhat nervously

"What happened to you when you were a baby?"

"My parents left me on an island with a note" Astrid replied slowly, thrown off by the intensity in his gaze. She felt like she was supposed to reveal something, she just wasn't sure what.

That answer seemed to snap him out of whatever trance he had been in "Right, of course. That's how the hunters found you"

"Oh" she frowned, glancing at the dragon rider next to her "Hiccup told you about that stuff. Chief Stoick I promise I'm not here to hurt anyone or-"

"Aye lass don't worry about that" he laughed, now appearing completely normal "We all have our pasts"

And after that he really did come off as completely fine. He was kind and laughed with her and talked to her about how she was enjoying being with the riders. Still, her mind was working endlessly to figure out what that brief conversation meant. There was something akin to determination when he spoke to her. He listened to her backstory so intently, like he was trying to piece together a puzzle of some sort. Intimidating wasn't quite the right word for how she felt, because he wasn't being particularly aggressive. Something simply felt… Odd. She hated herself for using such a vague term but it really was fitting. And, given the way Hiccup had looked at her after Stoick had reverted back to his normal self, she can't have been the only one who felt it.

Her thoughts were interrupted when she heard her name in a whisper.

"Her name is Astrid apparently"

"Huh, she doesn't look like a warrior queen to me"

"Rumour has it that she's a hunter"

Astrid sucked in a breath, filled with anxiety.

"How do you know that?"

"Someone heard Hiccup telling his dad about it"

She shook her head, of course that's how they knew. Gods, she knew that Hiccup had told his dad about her past but she'd assumed that he'd at least done it in private.

"What is he thinking?"

"He's not, he sees the good in everyone, even if there isn't actually any good to see"

Astrid had to walk away there. If she let those girls whispers get to her, no good would come of it. Instead, she turned her attention to a man who seemed to be struggling to carry a few boxes. She went over to him with a small smile "Would you like any help with that sir?"

He looked at her gratefully "If you could that would be great"

"Of course" she replied, taking a box from him, surprised by its weight "What's in this thing?"

"My wife and I supply some traders with weapons and whatnot" he explained.

"So all three of those boxes are filled with weapons?" she asked in amazement, to which he nodded "I'm impressed that you carried them this far"

"Thank you, I've had a lot of practice" he said and she responded with a light laugh.

"How long have you been supplying weapons?"

"About eighteen years now" he answered, shifting the weight of the boxes in his arms.

He had been giving away his weapons for as long as she'd been alive, that was so crazy to her. How many weapons did this guy have?

"I can't imagine what your hut must look like" she chose to joke instead.

"No need to worry, not too cluttered" he replied with a jovial tone "We have a room in our house for them, very organized, kind of a mini armoury of sorts"

Astrid's eyes shined "That sounds so cool!"

"Well you're allowed to come and see it if you like" he offered kindly.

"Oh, I'm sorry, but I don't think I can" Astrid apologized "I think I'm supposed to leave quite soon"

"Ah, you're the girl with the riders" he realized, eyes furrowing together slightly "I don't think I remember your name"

"Oh don't worry about that" she dismissed "I suppose you've heard all about me then"

"I have heard a few things" he admitted "But I don't really listen to that kind of stuff anyways"

"Oh really?" she quirked an eyebrow "Why is that?"

"I know what it's like to have false information spread about you" the older man told her ambiguously "So I never listen any gossip, it never rings as true anyways"

Though she felt relieved, part of Astrid still felt curious. She couldn't help but wonder what false information had been spread about him in the past, but she knew better than to ask. This was a man she had met a mere ten minutes ago, if that, she had no right to know about his past.

"I think we're almost there" he said somewhat suddenly as the traders' stalls came into view.

"That's good" Astrid said, it was true, the boxes were extremely heavy "Why do you supply them with weapons anyway? I thought Berk has a forgery"

"We do have a forgery, but my wife and I have so many weapons lying around and we intend to keep expanding our collection, so we donate old ones to make room for the new"

Astrid resisted the urge to comment on how that was a bit counterintuitive "Do you always supply this many"

He let out a small chuckle "No, no. The boxes are normally a lot lighter than this but my wife and I have decided to donate the weapons we were keeping for… Our daughter"

She noticed the hesitation and sadness in his tone "Is she away travelling?"

His eyes flashed with sadness "No, we lost her a long time ago"

"Oh I'm so sorry" she said automatically with sympathy.

He simply nodded "We just decided that having all of it around was only putting us in pain. It's time to start letting go, not forget" he added the last part hastily "But let go a little bit, not let it haunt us every minute of the day"

The words resonated with Astrid deeper than she had expected. Their situations were different but in a way, they needed to do the same thing. Just let go a little bit. Not let her issues leave her mind completely, but put them to the back a bit more. It was a good way of looking forward in life, and she intended to remember that for the future.

"Alright lass, I think you've carried them far enough" as he set his boxes down.

"Are you sure?" she asked, copying his actions

She looked back at him and saw that exact same look she'd seen in Stoick's eyes the night before. The shock, bewilderment, all of it. She couldn't for the life of her figure out why those looks kept being directed at her "Everything okay sir?"

"Hm? Oh, yes everything's fine it's just…" he trailed off, trying to find the right words "You bare an uncanny resemblance to my wife"

Astrid only smiled in response, not entirely sure what to say "Funny coincidence?"

"Must be" he shook his head, though more to himself than to her "I suppose you should be getting back to the riders"

The blonde teen had been so consumed by the conversation she was having with the man that she had momentarily forgotten about her peers "You're probably right, they should be ready to leave now" she glanced at him cautiously "Will you okay to carry these the rest of the way?"

"Aye, there's barely anything left now. Thank you for helping me with this… Um… I'm sorry what did you say your name was?"

"It's-"

"Hey! There you are! Come on, it's time to go!" She heard Heather call from behind her. She looked back at the elder warrior with an apologetic look "I'm sorry, I think I have to go"

"Don't worry about that" he dismissed kindly "Maybe I'll see you here another time"

"Uh…" she hesitated ever so slightly "Maybe. Goodbye sir"

As Astrid walked over to Heather, all she could feel was the eyes on her back. Everyone she looked at had a sneer or grimace of some sort directed straight at her. The hushed whispers rang through her ears, getting louder and louder. The anxiety she was feeling was building up with each step. No matter what direction she looked in, people were staring at her. It was as if the sun was focused on her for some reason, drawing everyone's eyes to her as well.

"Hey, just ignore them" Heather whispered once Astrid had finally gotten to her.

Would that be what a life here would consist of? Constantly having to ignore everyone? Was everyone going to marvel at her as though she were some freak or villain for the rest of her life? Would this be another round of people that she would need to prove herself to?

And that's when it hit her.

Astrid could let go of her past as much as she wanted.

The rest of Berk wouldn't.

Xxxx

"Astrid? You okay?" Heather asked as she walked into their hut.

She gave her friend a small smile. It would have been so easy to just say a few words and leave it there, but she couldn't find it within herself to lie. Astrid was tired of lying, she'd done far too much of it recently, to the people around her and to herself. She hoped her smile would be enough to ward Heather off, but she should have known better.

"Oh no, I know that smile" Heather said with concern "What's wrong?"

Astrid debated whether or not she should tell Heather. This feeling had been pent up in her ever since they had left Berk. So far she had done a good job of hiding her inner turmoil, nobody had asked what was wrong or given her odd looks until now. Maybe she hadn't done as good a job as thought. Either way, this feeling was building, she could feel it rising with every second and it was getting hard to contain. This was going to culminate in a scream or a sob, and she wasn't sure which would be more embarrassing. The best option really was to talk to Heather about it, no matter how hard she found it.

"I think I've made my decision" she spoke quietly "I've decided to stay"

"Really? Well that's great-"

"Until you go back to Berk"

She froze "Wait, what? Why until then?"

"I just…" she struggled to find the right words to explain herself "Heather, did you see how everyone treated me at the Snoggletog celebrations?"

Her eyebrows knitted together as she thought back "I thought we all treated you nicely"

"You did, you were all great to me" she said gently "But nobody else would even talk to me, they just stared"

Heather's mind went back to that night. It was true, now that she really thought about it. Nobody had been talking to Astrid other than the riders. Well, Stoick and Gobber had, but that was more because of Hiccup. Nobody had spoken to Astrid of their own free will. The thought broke her heart a little.

"That can change" she protested weakly, like she already knew it was a failed argument "Just give it some time"

"How much time?" the blonde challenged "Weeks? Months? Years?"

The dragon rider faltered. Realistically, the answer would probably be years. She didn't want to say it, but she found the idea of lying didn't sit well with her either. The Berkians had been kind to her at first, but when word got out that she used to work with one of their enemies, the reception grew significantly colder. Heather had had her own reasons for her initial dishonesty, she knew that and the riders knew that, but the others didn't. She was lucky when Cami warmed up to her so quickly, because she influenced others to do the same. But Cami hadn't been there for the main celebrations. Of course she, Hiccup and the other riders had been as welcoming with her as possible, but everyone already knew of their kind nature. Camicazi had always had a more reserved air to her; so if she trusted someone, they were probably a person worth trusting. But she wouldn't always be there. After the riders were done on The Edge Camicazi would probably have to go back to her tribe, at least for a little while. Like Hiccup, she also had to train to lead her people.

"Berkians really are nice people" Heather tried to point out.

Astrid flashed a sad smile "I don't doubt that. But they don't trust me, and I honestly can't blame them"

"That's because they don't know you"

"They know about my past, that's enough"

"W-what?" she asked surprised "How?"

"Hiccup told his dad about my past and someone overheard apparently" she said, letting out a sigh.

'Mental note; hit Hiccup over the head later'

"It's okay, I'm not mad" the teen reassured "Owning the past, right? Hiccup doesn't think I need to be ashamed of it, so he probably doesn't think the way I do. That's not to say I feel ashamed either, I'm just more cautious than he is. He didn't mean anything bad by it"

"I'm just surprised he didn't say it in private"

Something similar to fondness sparked in Astrid's eyes "He's smart but he's a bit naive. Maybe he thought he was in private, or maybe he didn't think about the possibility of people listening to his conversation. He wasn't doing anything wrong, not really"

"I'm still sorry everyone knows so soon"

"Had it been up to me, I would have wanted the news to come out a bit later" she said with a shrug "But it was bound to get out eventually. People would have been curious, people would more than likely start digging around at some point. Besides, once Starlight decided to reveal herself to everyone else, I would have to tell the story of how we first met and that would give me away anyways"

"But-"

"And that's another thing, Starlight. She really isn't good with new people Heather. I got her to readjust once but to make her do it again on such a large scale? That really isn't fair to her. She's had a hard enough life as it is"

"Are you sure you're not rushing things?" Heather suggested warily "Why don't you take some time to-"

"I've had nothing but time to think about this, believe me" Astrid's eyes bore straight into her "I've made my decision"

Heather stared at her in a quizzical manner "If this is your final decision, why do you seem so upset about it?"

"I don't like the idea of leaving, I really care about all of you, I just don't see what else I can do. I'm not going to let my life go in circles, going from place to place where people don't trust me is pointless. And also" she let her eyes drift to floor for a moment "I don't see a future for myself in Berk"

"Wha- Why not?"

"Heather, when you guys go back to Berk you all have something waiting for you. The riders all have their families, Camicazi has her own tribe waiting for her and you, aside from already having everyone's trust, have a relationship that you can consider pursuing. You have a foundation with Berk that you can use to build a life off of. There's nothing in Berk waiting for me Heather, no relationships, no family. Of course your friendships will all be there but..." she trailed off, unable to find a good wording

Thoughts of an intelligent blonde man came to mind, making Heather blush briefly, still, she was able to give Astrid a pointed look "You know perfectly well that there is someone here who is dying to pursue a relationship with you"

"He's the chief's son" she pointed out, nearly on instinct "Even if a relationship with me was something we both wanted, it's not like we could have it. He needs to be with someone that has rank, power, influence. He needs someone with a good name. I have nothing to my name, I don't even know what my name actually is for Thor's sake! And if our relationship progressed and I ended up becoming chieftess? How do you think everyone would feel being led by some nobody ex-hunter?"

Astrid's voice breaking at the end of her sentence didn't go unnoticed by Heather. She saw how her friend was getting worked up and she hated how helpless she felt. All she wanted to do was to help Astrid and tell her that her thoughts weren't true. But they were. She wanted to say that she was more than what she thought of herself, but it would fall upon deaf ears and she knew it. Astrid was making a few valid points, even if Heather didn't like to admit it.

"I'm going to miss you" she said somewhat meekly.

"No need to miss me just yet" Astrid attempted to say lightly "This all depends on when you all decide to go back"

"Are you going to tell everyone?"

Astrid hesitated slightly "Yes" she paused "But I'm not sure when. I don't want to ambush the idea on everyone, but I also don't want to bring it up if it's not going to be a problem for months"

"How do you think Hiccup will react?"

"I honestly don't know" she answered "Sometimes I think he's okay with the idea of it, other times I think he's really pushing for me to stay"

"We're all pushing for you to stay" Heather said gently.

"I know" she smiled "I think he'll be happy for me, but I also think he'll be disappointed"

"We'll all be the same way" Heather replied "But Hiccup more than most"

"It's what's best for everyone" Astrid said almost forcefully, as if she didn't really believe herself.

Heather nodded slowly "If you're sure"

She nodded back, voice more firm "I am"

And just like that, there was an understanding. Astrid had made her choice, but this wasn't a bad one. Maybe it would be good for her. Heather didn't love the idea, but this seemed to be what Astrid wanted, or at least, this was what Astrid told herself that she wanted. Maybe one day, she would realize that she wanted to be with the riders and come back, who knows. The future was unpredictable, anything could happen.

"I have to get going" Astrid said, exiting the hut "I'll see you later"

"Where are you going?"

"I lost a bet with Hiccup, now I have to build the guest hut" she saw Heather's confused facial expression and laughed a little "I'll explain later"

And with that, Astrid went to the empty space on the Edge. She would tell Hiccup eventually. Maybe not soon, but eventually. Hopefully the conversation would come up naturally. Ideally, Hiccup would casually bring up the idea of going back soon and Astrid could bring up her idea then. When Astrid told him about her plans, she hoped that he wouldn't try too hard to convince her otherwise. She had a pesky habit not thinking entirely straight when she was around him. That's not to say she lost her mind around him, per say. She wasn't that kind of girl. But still, he did… Something to her.

Astrid suspected that it was his smile. Every now and then, when he smiled she knew that if he asked her to jump off of a cliff, she would. Not because of the charm of his grin, but because he would make her feel safe while doing it. Because if he told her to do it, she knew he would catch her at the end. Safety had always been a foreign concept to her, yet she was still able to associate it with Hiccup quite easily.

No. She had to stop. This was getting too sentimental. Having feelings for Hiccup was one thing but she couldn't just… She didn't know how...

It was like the Gods had heard her prayer and twisted it. Her thoughts were interrupted with the mop of auburn hair appearing from the corner of her eye. The exact uburn locks she'd just been thinking of.

"Hey" he greeted cheerily "So what should we start with?"

"We?" she blinked, vexed "What do you mean we?"

"Well we could mean a lot of things, but in this context I mean us. You and me" he gestured between the two of them with that smile she both loved and hated gracing his features.

She rolled her eyes playfully "I was wondering when I'd hear your next sarcastic quip"

"Expect the unexpected milady" he winked.

She was slightly taken aback by the unexpected use of 'milady'. She found herself liking it, more than she should have.

"What I meant" she began loudly "Was why are you asking where we, you and me, should start when I'm the one who's supposed to be doing the work? I lost the bet"

"All we said was that whoever lost the bet had to build the guest hut, we never said that they had to do it alone" He beamed at her as she simply shook her head with a fond smile.

"So I was thinking we could…"

Astrid watched him ramble on about the guest, biting her lip. If she didn't she would probably scream out her feelings for him right then and there. Guilt pooled in her stomach.

Telling him was going to be harder than she thought.

So now an official decision has been made about Astrid leaving or staying...Let's see what happens from here.

With the whole letter Hiccup wrote, either imagine he has really small writing or that the paper is really big, whatever tickles your fancy.

Fun fact: Over half of the chapters are written out of order. I mean in terms of scenes. A lot of the time I write the last scene and work backwards. A bit weird, I know. But I come up with ideas for scenes and base my chapters around them, so they need to be written first

Quote from next chapter: "It's like I've imagined this version of my life for so long, without it I don't really know what my future is without it"

Shohini :)