A/N: This is not the original epilogue I'd planned for Servant of Death, but reviewer dreameroflife7 wanted to see what would happen if Harry and Ginny ever told her family they'd had sex on the Headmaster's desk, and this is the result, which I think works better than my original plan. Thanks for the prompt! I know it's not exactly what you asked for, but hopefully it's close enough. This was a lot of fun to write. Also, thank you to Melindaleo for making me realize that Lisa Turpin was the perfect under-utilized character - I hope you don't mind that I borrowed her. And also, thank you to FitzDizzyspells for Flourish and Blotts. :)

Recovery took a long time. It also took no time at all. For those few who knew that Voldemort hadn't actually died at the Final Battle but instead three months later, the pain of loss and mourning began anew in the late weeks of summer. Fred's death hurt that much more without concerns of Voldemort looming over the days, and for a while, everyone walked around in a funk, unsure whether to rejoice in their newfound freedom and safety or wallow in memories of those lost.

George, of all people, made the decision for them. It was August 31st and for the first time in many years, not a single Weasley trunk was packed and waiting for King's Cross in the morning. The Ministry - in a prescient and considered move - had realized that returning to Hogwarts could be particularly difficult for some of the oldest students, whether they'd been at the castle the previous year or not. Led by none-other than Percy, plans had been drawn up to allow any incoming 7th year or any student who had missed their 7th year to finish their studies in a condensed manner. The classroom instruction would take place at the Ministry, and nearly two dozen students had signed up, including both Ginny and Hermione. They would be living at Grimmauld Place and traveling to the Ministry every day for lessons. As Ron and Harry would also be living at Grimmauld Place and traveling to the Ministry for Auror training, everyone thought Percy's plan was rather brilliant.

But neither training nor lessons began for another week, and so all of the Weasleys were gathered together at the Burrow at George's invitation, unsure of the reason he'd called them but knowing that no matter what he had planned, at least they'd be able to sleep late to recover the following morning. Molly and Arthur had wisely taken Harry up on his offer to have a long, romantic dinner at Grimmauld Place, courtesy of Kreacher.

George was not alone; Lee and Angelina and, to Harry' surprise, Lisa Turpin, sat with him in the Burrow's sitting room in front of the complicated piece of equipment that they used to broadcast Potterwatch. The last show - as far as Harry knew - had been a long "expose'" on Why Harry Potter Hates His Birthday that had been written in response to rumors that a number of fan clubs were planning trips to London to bring him gifts on July 31. Even without knowing at the time that Voldemort had possessed Kreacher, the thought of dozens of fan-witches descending on or near the places Harry was thought to frequent was unnerving. Harry'd had no doubt that any one of them could have easily become fodder for Voldemort's plans. A heart wrenching story about how his birthday was to be avoided at all costs was the answer, and George and Lee had been glad to oblige. Now it looked like they were ready to broadcast again. George waved his wand for quiet.

"I'm done mourning Fred," he announced without preamble. "It's done nothing but make me - make all of us - miserable, and when we're miserable, we get further and further away from the ideal that Fred and I have always thought the most important to embody." George spoke as if he was giving a speech and Harry had to grin to hear the animation in his tone. He leaned comfortably against Ginny. They were sharing an overstuffed chair, her legs draped across his lap.

"I think we're all in for it," he said under his breath.

"I'd watch everything you put in your mouth from now on," Ginny agreed. Harry snorted.

"I can think of one thing I want to put in my mouth that George better not get anywhere near," he said cheekily. Ginny groaned.

"That's the exact type of comment that's going to get you in trouble," Ginny warned. "Even if George has to Obliviate himself so he doesn't remember that it was me you were talking about going down on."

Harry shuffled in his seat. Just those few words from Ginny and the images they conjured had him suddenly thinking of nothing having to do with her brothers, or Potterwatch, or anything else besides getting her alone as soon as possible. He was still getting used to the idea that they didn't have to rush, or hide, or even make sure they didn't take a single moment together for granted. It was a thought he'd had more than once, before, and he still wasn't used to the idea that it had actually come true. He subtly adjusted himself. Since he had to basically slide his hand under Ginny's bum to do so, he couldn't keep it from her and thus, was not surprised when she wiggled and ground herself into Harry's lap on the pretense of stretching. He bit back a groan and she chuckled softly. Harry hoped that whatever George wanted to tell them would be quick.

George, with the help of Angelina, was turning dials on the broadcasting equipment. He picked up what looked rather like a Muggle-style microphone. "Can everyone hear me?" he said into it, his voice echoing around the room. Ron threw a pillow at him.

"No, not at all, could you speak a little louder?" he said. George made a rude gesture.

"As I said," he continued, putting down the microphone, "I'm done mourning Fred. I'm going to miss him every day of my life, but if I get to the end of that life and happen to run into him, I don't want him to think I've wasted it." He looked around the room, his gaze finally stopping on Harry. "And I'm sure if Fred has anything to say about it, I'll definitely run into him."

Harry gave George the slightest nod. After a moment, George nodded back. "Which is why," he said, waving his arms expansively, "I've got you all here to be the first to hear about the reinvention of Potterwatch. No longer will the program follow the activities of everyone's favorite bolt of lightning, but instead will pursue a much . . . lighter type of programming." He grinned. "Sorry, Harry."

Harry grinned back. "I'm not," he said.

Everyone laughed and George gave a slight bow.

"We haven't worked out all the details, but I can assure you, this is not going to be a show you'll want to miss. We'll have all sorts of human interest stories, extremely useful product reviews, fascinating gossip, you get the idea." He looked at Angelina and Lee. "Did I forget anything?"

"You wanted to announce the name of the new program," said Lee. He had his arm casually around Lisa who seemed rather comfortable to be there.

"That's right," said George. He waved his wand and sparks shot into the air. "We didn't think 'Fredwatch' had quite the same ring to it, so we had to come up with something else," he said. "And my first choice, 'Fucking with Fred' would have earned me a Howler from mum before we even got off the ground. So, tell me what you think." The sparks flew around in a dizzying pattern until they rearranged themselves into words.

GIVE GOOD FRED

The letters glowed and popped as the room exploded in laughter. From across the room, Bill called out, "You sure mum won't send a Howler for that too?"

"Merlin, I hope not," said George. He shuddered. "Maybe we don't tell mum and dad about the show."

Angelina leaned over and whispered in George's ear. He nodded, and Angelina quickly left the room. George regained his composure.

"I think you'll all agree that celebrating and honoring Fred's memory is infinitely preferably to moping," he said. There were nods and shouts of agreement. George smiled and looked around at his family. "And I hope I can count on your participation in future episodes? We'll give you each an appropriate alias, of course." He nodded at Fleur. "For example, Mon Cherie, you could give advice to the lovelorn, since everything sounds much better with a French accent."

"Or I could teach 'ze best hexes to make an overbearing suitor go away," she suggested sweetly. Bill leaned down and kissed her head. "Don't underestimate her," he warned his brother.

George held up his hands in surrender. "I promise," he said. "Ahh, Angelina! Just in time!"

Angelina came back into the room levitating a number of bottles in front of her. Lee waved his wand and a large parchment scoreboard shot out the end of his wand.

Ginny leaned into Harry. "I think our vow not to eat or drink anything George gives us is about to be tested," she said.

"I think I need to start carrying around a Bezoar with me at all times," he whispered back.

George had apparently coached Angelina and Lee ahead of time. She was setting up the bottles in a row along a makeshift bar with a flourish while Lee and Lisa shot spells at the parchment in time with Angelina's actions - a bottle lined up and its name appeared on the scoresheet. Volcanic Ash, DragonFyre, Sunspot, Burning Head, and Fade to Black were apparently the names of popular craft Firewhiskeys, which everyone would be sampling and ranking.

"I have no commercial interest in the results," assured George, who was now passing out stacks of small cups. "Although the producer of Burning Head Whiskey has reached out about a possible future collaboration, so keep that in mind." He snapped his fingers. "Oh, and we'll need to add in tastes of Ogden's, as a control, of course."

"Of course," said Charlie dryly from across the room. "I've had the DragonFyre before and all I can say is, watch out." He held up one arm, on which a rather elaborate bright blue dragon was tattooed. "Got this on a dare after a night of DragonFyre," he said, shaking his head.

"What's wrong with it?" asked Percy. "You have plenty of dragon tattoos."

Charlie grimaced. "It's a Siberian Icebreaker," he said. "And umm, it's the Patronus of a umm, colleague of mine. Who dared me to get it, after we got drunk and umm . . ." He let the sentence drift off as a flush rose on his neck.

"After you what, Charlie?" asked Ginny sweetly. "Because I seem to remember you giving me a long lecture about the dangers of making rash decisions under the influence of alcohol, especially when trying to impress a member of the opposite sex." She sat back against Harry looking pleased.

Charlie swiped his hand across his face. "As you should," he muttered. "Which means no DragonFyre for you tonight."

"I promise not to dare Ginny to get a tattoo," said Harry with a laugh. Truth was, the thought of getting just a little drunk with Ginny was intriguing. He'd heard it could lower inhibitions, and even though he wouldn't consider either himself or his girlfriend particularly inhibited to begin with, he was curious to see what a couple of drinks might do. Ginny seemed to be following the same train of thought.

"Try to grab the DragonFyre first," she whispered.

George began tapping the bottles to pop the tops off when there was a shout from across the room.

"Whoa, wait a goblin's minute," said Bill. He gently extracted himself from underneath Fleur and stood up. "Do you really expect any of us to drink something you're offering? I don't think there's a person in this room who hasn't fallen victim to one or another of your tricks in the past." Bill looked around. "Show of hands, who's grown an extra limb or been forced to dance instead of walk, or the like, because of something the twins did?"

Harry noted that no one grew distressed over the mention of the twins. Instead, there were a lot of indignant comments and muttering as everyone in the room - even Fleur - raised their hand. Bill gave Harry a searching look. "How've you escaped so far?" he asked.

"Ahh, Harry's a special case," said George quickly. "We uhh, we thought he had enough on his plate already, and didn't need to be eating off ours too, so to speak." George very carefully didn't look at Harry.

For his part, Harry was pretty sure that the fact he'd given the twins his Tri-wizard winnings all those years ago would be a nonissue now. Still, if it kept George from pranking him . . .

"So that means Harry needs to be doubly careful now, doesn't it?" smirked Charlie. "Maybe he should taste each one first, just to try it out."

"I promise, there's no funny business in these bottles," said George. "I need to keep you all around for future episodes, after all."

Bill insisted on performing a complicated series of tests on the bottles anyway, and only after he'd deemed them all safe did the pouring commence.

Very quickly, Harry decided that George's plan was absolutely brilliant. Ginny had succeeded in grabbing the DragonFyre first, and Harry was pleased at how smoothly it went down and created a pool of heat in his belly. "Better take a second drink of this one, to be sure," he said. On his lap, Ginny was humming in contentment as she held out her glass for a second shot. Suddenly, Charlie was looming over them.

"I told you that one's dangerous," he said, grabbing it out of the air. "It's so silky you can drink half the bottle before you even realize it." He held up the bottle and peered at it. "As it appears the two of you did."

Harry grinned. "Just two shots," he said. "I think."

Charlie rolled his eyes. "I'm glad you two can take care of each other later," he said.

Harry decided he didn't like the Sunspot as much as the DragonFyre, but that the Burning Head was quite brilliant, especially the way it made Ginny's hair glow like a sunset. He was pouring a glass of Volcanic Ash - which was rather disconcertingly black and cloudy - when Ginny leaned her head down and began kissing his neck. Her hands traveled down his chest and began fiddling with his belt before Harry realized this might be problematic. He reluctantly moved her hand away.

She gave him a quizzical look. "I thought you liked it when I put my hands inside," she said in a rather loud whisper. She accepted the glass of Volcanic Ask and downed it. "It's only fair," she continued. "I'll put my hands inside first, and then you can put yourself inside me!" She began to giggle as plumes of black smoke came out of her ears, temporarily obscuring the rest of the room.

"Shhhhh," Harry hissed. He knew Ginny probably shouldn't be talking so loud about wanting him inside of her. He lowered his voice. "Brothers," he said, waving his arm towards the figures on various chairs and sofas. He took his shot and grimaced. "That's terrible," he said. "What's left?"

George floated over a bottle of Fade to Black from where he was lounging on the sofa with Angelina. "You and Ginny have sampled all the rest," he said, sounding impressed. "After this one you can rank them."

One of George's hands seemed to be missing, which Harry found confusing. Had he lost it along with his ear? Angelina giggled and swatted at George, and suddenly Harry could see George's hand again. It had been hiding under Angelina's shirt, apparently.

Ginny moved her hand back down again. "My brothers are mostly busy with their girlfriends and wives," she said. This time she put her hand right on Harry's erection and left it there.

Harry was pretty sure there was something wrong with Ginny's theory, but then her hand moved in a way he rather liked and he stopped caring. The room was starting to fill with haze an smoke and so it was getting harder to see anyone else anyway. Harry thought that was a rather good thing. He waved his wand and set some privacy chairs around the chair where they were sitting, and more of the room got blurry. He twisted Ginny in his lap. "I want kiss you, he slurred. It suddenly felt very imperative that he kiss his girlfriend. Ginny nodded.

I want to kiss you too," she said. She handed him a small cup. "George said we have to drink this first. Fade to Black."

Harry felt warm and tingly all over. The smoke from the Volcanic Ask cleared and he could see various couples spread around the room. Ron and Hermione were kissing, and could see that Bill and Fleur were doing rather more than kissing until Fleur waved her wand and a fuzzy curtain went up around them. Lee and Lisa Turpin were no where to be seen and George looked to be very cozy with Angelina on the loveseat even while he kept up a running commentary about the different drinks being sampled. Burning Head was still in the lead and that seemed to make George pleased. Only Percy and Charlie sitting alone. Percy seemed to have gone back to looking over some long document from work and wasn't paying much attention, other than to sip occasionally at a steaming cup in front on him. But Charlie . . .

Harry felt a few cobwebs clear. "Charlie!" he whispered to Ginny. Her hands seemed to be in several places on his body at once and he didn't really want to stop her. She'd gotten inside his trousers this time.

"What about Charlie?" she asked. Her hand wiggled inside the opening in his pants.

Harry hissed. "He's right across the room," Harry said. Ginny's breasts were in his direct line of sight. He shrugged. "I set a ward," he mumbled, dipping his head down. He was feeling very eager to be with Ginny right now. He was always eager, of course, but the whiskey had made him both more aroused than usual and yet mellow about the fact that they were in a room full of Weasleys. He didn't think they'd care about the way his lips were moving on their sister; they knew she was an adult. And he'd vanquished Voldemort, for Merlin's sake. No, Harry couldn't be too concerned about who might be around right now. Not when Ginny's skin was sitting so directly in his line of sight. She made a small sound of satisfaction when his fingers tickled across her chest and Harry's erection twitched. What he really wanted was to pull Ginny directly on top of him to straddle his lap but fortunately, the last few sober brain cell in his head intervened. The floated cup of Fade to Black bumped against his head.

"We should . . . not here," he said. He looked up at the floating cup. "George said we need to drink this. It's th' last one."

"Okay," said Ginny agreeably. She pulled down the cup. "Let's share."

The Fade to Black did, for a concerning moment, make everything go black. Ginny squeaked in surprise and grabbed his hand but before Harry could get too concerned his vision cleared, as did a bit of the alcohol haze in his brain. He opened his eyes to see George watching them intently.

"Did it work?" he asked. "Do you feel just a bit more sober?"

Harry considered that carefully. He still had the same pleasant, light feeling as before, and he definitely still wanted to get naked with Ginny as soon as possible - and his arousal was as insistent as it had been before, but . . . he was now aware that doing any of those things with Ginny needed to wait until they were alone. He carefully straightened her shirt collar and arranged her more carefully in his lap.

"Soon," he said, leaning forward to kiss her.

Ginny's eyes were clear. She looked over at Charlie, who was now frowning at Ron and Hermione, who'd apparently not sampled the last whiskey yet. "Definitely," she said.

There was a shout of laughter from the corner of the room. Bill and Fleur and Lee and Lisa were sitting in a circle with a wand spinning between them. It stopped suddenly on Lisa and Bill said something to her that made her turn bright red. After a second, she spoke, and the laughter got even louder. Lisa looked over at them. "Come play truth or dare!" she called. T

Harry looked at Ginny. "Do we dare?" All the rest of the Firewhiskey bottles seemed had congregated in that corner and he thought he'd maybe like another taste of the Burning Head. Vaguely, he knew that playing any sort of drinking game with Ginny's brothers could get him in a lot of trouble but for once, it was the kind of trouble that Harry really didn't mind. Hell, it was practically a right of passage. "And anyway, I still have the Elder Wand," he muttered

Ginny snorted. "Just what do you think is going to happen?" she asked. They got off the chair and went to sit in the widening circle with everyone else. George pointed his wand at Ron and Hermione, who were still wrapped around each other.

"Ouch," said Ron, rubbing the back of his head. "You could have just asked."

"I did," said George with a smirk. "Three times."

Hermione blushed; Ron didn't, but they both came and sat in the circle with everyone else. Harry thought Percy looked rather uncomfortable, and he half expected that he'd get up and make some excuse about needing to go to the office. But after a moment, Percy sighed and sat down.

"Where were we?" asked Lee. "Ah yes, I think it was Bill's turn to spin the wand."

Bill said a spell and threw his wand into the air. It wobbled for a minute and then began spinning wildly before stopping in from of Angelina. The word "Dare" shot out of the end.

"Hmmm," said Bill thoughtfully. "I dare you to . . . take another shot of the DragonFyre."

"I bet you wouldn't dare Ginny to get even more drunk," said Angelina good naturedly. She grabbed the bottle out of the air and took a swig before falling bonelessly against George with a giggle. "I think that's my favorite," she said.

George leaned over and kissed her. "Then it's my favorite too," he said with a laugh.

Ginny elbowed Harry. "They're together!" she said in a rather drunken whisper. "Did you see? He kissed her!"

Harry nodded. "I saw," he agreed. Ginny was leaning against him and he rather liked the feeling of the warm puffs of alcohol-tinged air from her breath. "Sit in my lap," he said in her ear. "Please?"

Ginny giggled. "All my brothers will see," she said.

"Better that they see you in my lap than see what you're going to be hiding," he muttered back.

"Ahhh." Ginny made a sound of understanding and climbed to sit between Harry's legs, grinding her bum into him for good measure. He bit back a groan. "Does this hide enough?" she asked. She wiggled her bum again.

Harry swallowed, wondering exactly how long they had to play this game and where they might go afterwards. He wasn't sure he was sober enough to Apparate them anywhere. Could they manage the Floo to Grimmauld Place? His thoughts were interrupted by a shout. Angelina's spinning wand had finally stopped, and now it was pointing at Percy.

"TRUTH" it proclaimed.

"Oooh, let me think of a good one," said Angelina.

Percy turned bright red.

"She hasn't even asked you a question yet," said Ron. He still had smoke coming out of his ears in small bursts. Next to him, Hermione was starring at the scorecard in a decidedly un-Hermione-ish way. She seemed to be trying to count the various tally marks for the whiskey they'd all sampled. Harry leaned forward.

"Wait until you're sober to figure it out," he advised. "The votes will make more sensh, more sense then."

Herimione nodded vaguely, her eyes still on the parchment, and now Harry elbowed Ginny. "Hermione's pissed," he said in a loud whisper. "I've never seen her like that before."

Ginny giggled. She'd been giggling a lot today and Harry realized how much he liked it. It had a light, carefree sound that he'd never heard before. It was probably because there had been nothing to be carefree about until now. Now there was. Everything was carefree and Harry could listen to Ginny giggle all day long if he wanted. He could make her giggle all day long if he wanted. Although, he considered, he hoped that not everything he did to her made her giggle. Sometimes he wanted her to make that little sigh he liked. Or to groan his name when he touched her a certain way. He'd not want to lose that. The giggling could be at other times.

"I got it!" Angelina was waving her wand around and Harry realized he'd not been paying attention to anything else going on while he daydreamed about the sounds Ginny made. He shook his head to clear it of the image of Ginny with her head thrown back, making that noise she did when he used his mouth on her.

"What?" he asked, rather loudly.

"My idea for Percy's 'truth'" she said. She grinned at Percy. "Tell the truth; what's the most unusual place you've ever had sex?"

Percy turned even more red. "Uhhh," he stuttered.

"And your hand doesn't count, mate," said Charlie with a grin.

"Do you think Percy's even had sex?" Ginny's voice was low in his ear. Harry shrugged.

"I don't know," he said. "But I don't think the game will let you lie."

Percy was still shuffling in his seat. Bill leaned forward, apparently taking it upon himself as the oldest to smooth things over if it turned out that Percy was still a virgin. "If you haven't . . ." he began. Percy vigorously shook his head.

"No," he said quickly. "It's not that. I have . . . it's just . . ." He took a deep breath. "It wasn't against policy or regulation," he said, giving everyone a piercing stare. "I confirmed that it wasn't prohibited by any regulation it first."

Harry had a sudden image of Percy, stopping in the middle of foreplay with a witch to check some lengthy rulebook before agreeing to continue to the actual intercourse. Ginny snorted quietly. "Figures" she muttered.

"But where was it, Percy?" George leaned forward. "Where was this permissible location to have sex? I may need to put it on my list." George chuckled. "Wait, you're talking about at your flat, right? What did you do, check your lease first to make sure you could get busy somewhere else than the bedroom?"

Percy flicked his wand and one of the floating cups of whiskey upended itself over George's head. Everyone laughed and cheered.

"Good one, Percy," said Ron approvingly.

"Yeah, good one, Percy," said George. He shook his head and little drops of whiskey flew off about the room. "But you still need to answer the question."

Percy looked to the door to the sitting room as if some member of Magical Law Enforcement was standing there waiting to arrest him for having sex somewhere other than in his own bed. He took a deep breath.

"In. . . In a corner of the Atrium at the Ministry. After hours."

There was a moment of stunned silence. Everyone stared at Percy as if they'd never quite seen him before. He stopped blushing and sat up a little straighter.

"Well, the wand says it's true," said Angelina after a moment.

"All right, Percy," said Bill. He glanced shrewdly at Fleur and Harry had the feeling they'd be planning their own after hours trip to the Ministry one of these days. Angelina pointed at Percy.

"You're next," she said.

But Percy shook his head. "Oh no, if I had to tell everyone the most unusual place I've had intercourse, it's only fair that the rest of you do too."

If Percy had thought everyone would object, he was mistaken. Almost everyone in the room began chattering excitedly to each other, couples whispering back and forth. Even Hermione sat up and said something to Ron, who shook his head and responded with something Harry couldn't hear.

Harry squeezed Ginny's hand. "This is going to get me killed, isn't it?" he said, low in her ear.

Ginny shrugged against him and the way her body moved made Harry wonder if he should just push off the repercussions until later and grab Ginny away to Grimmauld Place now. His alcohol-addled brain couldn't remember whether and which of Ginny's brothers even knew they were having sex, and he wasn't sure he wanted to figure that out right now. But then Percy waved his wand and a dark blue ring circled the room. "No one can leave until they answer," he announced.

Harry had thought until that moment that he liked this new Percy. Now his heart dropped somewhere into the vicinity of his stomach. "I'm sorry," he whispered to Ginny. "I have a feeling that after tonight I'm not going to have the capacity to have sex with you ever again."

Ginny giggled, but this time Harry couldn't enjoy the sound. "You worry too much about my brothers," she said. "I think you're more scared of them than you ever were of Voldemort."

"There was only one Voldemort," pointed out Harry. "And he really didn't care who I had sex with."

Ginny giggled again. "I promise I won't let any of them do any permanent damage," she said, leaning in to kiss him.

"I'm not too happy about temporary damage either," muttered Harry. But it was too late. Percy seemed to have decided that having gone first answering the question gave him authority to be master of ceremonies. Harry almost expected him to pull out a parchment and new scoresheet to keep track of everyone's activities that would eventually become part of some long report about cauldron thickness during sex or something. He groaned.

"I think I'm too sober for this," he told Ginny. "Do you want another shot?" Harry grabbed the bottle of Burning Head.

They each took another small sip of the Firewhiskey, just enough to renew the warmth in Harry's belly and the pleasant buzz in his head. Percy waved his wand. "Angelina, since this is all your fault anyway, you get to go first. Where's the strangest place you've ever had sex?"

No one in the room missed the fact that Angelina's eyes immediately jumped to George. Ginny clapped her hands with delight. "So can you both answer together?" she asked loudly.

George gave a lazy grin. "We can," he said. "Let us confer." He lowered his head close to Angelina's. Apparently she disagreed with his first suggestion and he disagreed with hers. Harry wondered just how many odd place they'd been together when they suddenly shook hands and looked up.

"The 'second back room' of WWW, he announced. "After sampling all the products."

"All of them?" asked Ron. "At the same time?"

Angelina shrugged. "Over the course of the evening," she said nonchalantly.

Harry was impressed. The original back room at Weasley's Wizard Wheezes was where the more serious defensive merchandise was kept, like the anti-jinx hats that the Ministry had purchased during the war. The 'second back room' was for sex toys.

Everyone made appreciative noises. "Remind me to talk to you more about your product line later on," said Bill.

Not surprisingly, Charlie's oddest place had been in a dragon's nest. He refused to say who'd he'd been with, and Harry suspected he wasn't the only one who guessed it might be the same witch responsible for Charlie's tattoo.

"We're next!" Lisa Turpin and Lee appeared to have finished an entire bottle of DragonFyre between them. The smoke around their bodies was so thick that Harry could only see their heads, floating above a sea of black. A hand popped up and then disappeared again and Harry was suddenly glad he couldn't see anything else. Lee's head fell sloppily against Lisa's.

"The . . . the . . . at my pub," he said drunkenly. George snorted.

"When did you buy a pub, Jordan?" he asked.

Lee shook his head. "No," he said. "Din't buy it. Ish my name." He and Lisa dissolved into giggles.

"Your, your name!" she sputtered. "The Leeeeeeeee. . ." her voice trailed off and the eyes on her disembodied head closed. Lee nodded vigorously, making Lisa's head bob oddly against his.

"Yeah. The Leeee. Keeee. My pub. Leeeeekeee."

Bill burst into laughter. "You had sex in the Leakey Cauldron?" he asked. "Where? Not Tom's office, I hope."

"Nope," said Lee. "Nope, nope nope." His voice dropped. "We were in the loo. The witches loo. Lisa said isss cleaner in there than the gents." Lee nodded to himself, but it looked more like he was trying to hold his head upright. Bill flicked his wand at Lee and his head fell onto his chest. Another flick and Lisa's did too.

"Better that they both sleep it off," he said. He conjured a blanket and dropped it on top of them. "They won't wake up until tomorrow and we'll have hangover potion brewed by then." He looked around the room and his eyes fell on his youngest brother. "Ron, I think you're up," he said mildly. It was obvious that he expected Ron's answer would be rather mundane.

Ron blushed. "You can't take the mickey," he warned.

George laughed. "Of course we can. This game practically demands it." He leered at Ron and Hermione. "It's okay. The bed is a perfectly okay place to start your sexual experimentation. I'm sure that with some practice, you'll get more adventurous."

"It's not . . ." Ron began. He looked at Hermione. She looked around the room and then sat up straighter, and Harry thought her expression was almost . . . proud.

"Flourish and Blotts," she said briskly. "In the aisle with all the lovely quills and colored inks." She lifted her chin a little higher. "I set the wards."

Bill nodded, impressed. "Not bad," he said to Ron. "Not bad at all. I wouldn't have thought you had it in you."

"Well, to be completely accurate, it was Hermione who had it in her," pointed out Percy briskly.

The room exploded. Hermione turned bright red and buried her head in Ron's chest. Harry chuckled quietly to himself. If anyone was going to be on his side at the end of this, it was going to be Ron, and Harry didn't want to do anything that might get on his bad side. He kissed Ginny lightly. She looked at him in amusement.

"You're saying goodbye, aren't you?" she asked.

Harry nodded solemnly. "I am," he confirmed. "Because by my count, we only have another couple of minutes before the truth comes out that I have defiled the only Weasley daughter, and you will never see me again."

Ginny stroked his hair. "I still thing you're overreacting," she said.

"We'll see," said Harry ominously.

"Ahem. This has all been quite amusing, but let's get serious now." Bill took Fleur's hand. She smiled at him and Harry could have sworn he saw Bill shiver. "Uhh, right," he mumbled. He shook his head. "Right," he said, a little more forcefully. "Pubs and shops and even the Ministry after hours aren't bad, I'll give you all that." He spread his hands wide. "But who else here can say they climaxed in one of the Gringott's carts - while it was moving?"

"And then again in one of 'ze vaults," added Fleur. She reached up and kissed Bill deeply while everyone else cheered and cat-called.

"How did you not fall out?" asked George. "Those carts are fast."

Bill grinned. "It's all about center of gravity," he said with a smirk. He put an arm around his wife. "And on that note, I think it's time to bring the night to a close. Shell Cottage may not be as exciting at Gringott's, but I won't wake up with a crick in my neck." He started leading Fleur out of the room.

Harry couldn't believe he was about to get out of the night unscathed. He grabbed Ginny's hand. "Yeah, let's get going too," he said. "I'm kind of hungry." He turned towards the door and took two steps before a loud crack sent him flying backwards. Ginny grabbed him and just managed to keep him from falling over. "What the . . .?" he began.

Percy cleared his throat. "You umm, you can't leave," he said, looking suddenly uncomfortable. "Until you answer the question." It suddenly got very quiet.

Harry didn't look at anyone. Ginny slipped her hand into his and squeezed. "I guess I can't leave either then," she said calmly. "And may I remind you, Harry destroyed Voldemort."

"I think that's old news," he muttered to her. He looked around the circle. Most of Ginny's brothers were looking anywhere but at her and Harry, but he sensed their curiosity, despite themselves. Even Bill looked more indulgent than indignant, Harry thought.

And Bill spoke. "I suppose Harry's status as vanquisher of Voldemort did entitle him to a particularly nice reward." The man grimaced. "And Ginny came of age two weeks ago, so . . ." He shrugged. "There's nothing wrong with starting in a bed," he said in a placating voice. "Just tell us what room it was and that should be enough to break the spell. I assume it was at Grimmauld Place?"

Harry gulped. Bill assumed Harry and Ginny had had sex for the first time on her birthday, in one of the beds there. For a second, panic rose up - the containment spell wouldn't allow them to lie - but then he caught sight of Bill's face. The man had the same indulgent expression from before; it might have even been a tiny bit patronizing. And he and Fleur had bragged about the Gringott's cart, as if there was no question they'd been in the most unusual place of everyone. He squeezed Ginny's hand and looked at her. Her eyes were bright with mischief as she nodded at him. "You tell them," she said with a grin.

Harry took a deep breath and forced himself to look around the room. "Yes, the beds at Grimmauld Place are rather nice," he admitted. He smirked. "As is the shower." Someone - maybe Charlie - barked a laugh. "But I bet none of the rest of you have had sex on the Headmaster's desk at Hogwarts."

"Immediately after escaping Voldemort," Ginny added.

The silence in the room was deafening. Around them, the blue of the containment spell fizzled away and red sparks shot out of Percy's wand and formed the word "Winner" over Harry and Ginny's head. Harry wasn't sure whether to be proud to have beaten everyone, or terrified.

Ron spoke first.

"Was that the day . . ." he began. He shook his head. "No wonder it took you two so long to get back!" He didn't seem particularly concerned, but then, Harry was pretty sure that Ron had already known that Harry and Ginny had become intimate.

"Ahh yes, desks are very sexy," interrupted Fleur. "You can pretend to be student and professor, non?"

"No," said Harry quickly, thanking Merlin that he and Ginny hadn't decided to role play; that would have likely pushed everyone over the edge. "We didn't. Do anything like that."

Fleur shrugged. "You should," she said. "Next time."

"What about the portraits?" Angelina asked. She was looking at Harry as if she couldn't believe he was the same person as the little first year she'd met at Quidditch. Harry blushed. "Most of them had gone off to search the castle, but a few . . . came back."

George whistled. "Wicked," he said. "That gives me so many ideas for new products for the second back room." He looked at Angelina. "We are going to have some practicing to do."

Bill had been completely quiet, staring at Harry and Ginny as if he had no idea what to make of them. Harry wished the flashing 'Winner' wasn't still rotating over their heads. He put his arm around Ginny.

"I'm completely in love with her," he said, trying not to sound defensive.

Bill's mouth quirked. "I know," he said "I never questioned that. I just . . ." He shook his head. "Damn. The Headmaster's desk?" He looked impressed.

The last traces of Harry's nerves evaporated. "I assume you don't want to know where the second and third place locations are?" he asked cheekily.

Bill laughed. "I think from now on, everyone should agree to keep this sort of information to themselves," he said.

"At least until I have more Firewhiskey to sample," said George solemnly. He shot purple sparks out of his wand. "I nearby declare the first meeting of Give Good Fred a success. I think we have plenty of good material for our broadcast."

"As long as you don't tell anyone where Ginny and Harry had sex," said Charlie with a laugh. "Next thing you know, couples will start trying to break into the school to recreate the scene."

Everyone laughed and Harry finally felt safe enough to start walking out of the room again. He took Ginny's hand. "Want to make love in an ordinary bed?" he murmured against her hair. "And then take a long nap before we wake up and do it again?"

"As long as my parents are gone from Grimmauld Place," she replied. "You did tell Kreacher to make sure they stayed on the main floor, didn't you?"

Harry shuddered. "I've learned way too much Weasley sexual history tonight; I definitely don't need to hear about any more." He put his arm around her. "How about we find a nice Muggle hotel somewhere?"

Ginny kissed his cheek. "As long as no one else knows where we're going," she said.