Rules 4 - awareness

Chloe felt more alone and more alien as the time dragged, seemingly without any visible markers. There was no sunset, no sunrise, no clocks and even the growing things in the garden seemed perpetually the same height, but it was the only place here with life.

Knowing what would come, she didn't talk to anyone save Persephone, not caring to lose more memories than she had to. She made herself sleep and eat, lest she have absolutely nothing to track the passing of time by.

God found her again in the garden, waiting for her to decide to socialize. She let Him wait a bit.

She was braiding long green leaves she'd ferociously plucked from huge ferns and trying to make something artsy out of it. There actually was an 'art room' but she couldn't be alone there.

She sighed, mentally commanding her hair into a ponytail, and it responded to her wish. A lack of junk drawers full of rubber bands wasn't a huge problem here.

At the edge of her vision, he appeared to be meditating with crossed legs and closed eyes, dressed much the same as before, except in blues and greys; jeans again and a pullover. God seemed to prefer modern wear. Chloe resigned herself to the fact that He was not going away, speaking but not turning. "Hey, Chuck."

He cracked an eyelid. "Pardon?"

"I'm not calling you 'God'. Chuck is God on Supernatural so I'm calling you Chuck." She didn't elaborate, but she sensed wry, tolerant amusement all the same.

"Chuck is fine, too. I answer to many names, even been prayed to that way. Doesn't bother me." He tilted his head. "That show went off the rails, didn't it?"

Chloe looked up and quirked an eyebrow.

"I have downtime too. And you stopped watching it, so we can't even complain about the last season together."

Chuck looked so genuinely annoyed that she didn't suppress a bark of laughter, still fiddling with the torn plants in her fingers. She had a rough bowl finished in her pile, and impulsively grabbed it and handed it to Chuck. "Here, this is for you."

He took it exactly the way she did when Trixie gave her a lumpy clay pot she made in second grade, with an encouraging smile but without the hug.

She kind of really wanted a hug.

Instead, she shifted her knees again and silently started working on a placemat, braiding a set of green grasses instead of ferns. "Why are you here?"

"You're unhappy. I thought you might want to know you're healing on your own, back on earth. Something might still change, but you could wake up very soon."

"...could?"

"Comas are tricky. Your primal brain hasn't decided it's safe yet, and you'll still have more healing to do once you do wake up, so it might be better this way for a little longer, while your other injuries recover."

Chloe wiped at her eyes. "Why are you really here?"

He cracked a smile. "Still the good Detective? Well, favors are Lucifer's thing, not mine."

Lucifer. I miss you. Her heart ached. I wish you could come here. "I thought you had all your kids' superpowers."

"It's something he does, not a superpower. His talent is desire, in all forms. Even if 'favors' were a talent somehow, I don't trade." He chuckled like it was a joke.

She looked up carefully at that. Chuck didn't have the compelling eye thing Lucifer did, or maybe he just wasn't using it. Now that she focused on him, she could see some of God's latent power, resting like a trained stallion, an aura of invisible fire, or force. Perhaps unintentionally reminding her who He was.

She bent back over her task. "Yes, I've witnessed that much first hand, the desire thing. I have a question and I don't know if I want the answer. You said you made me, in response to my mother's prayer…"

He shrugged. "Your soul would just be in a different body. That's all."

"What?"

"If your mother's prayer could not have been answered. You would still exist. Maybe not there or that year, but somewhere. Most likely you wouldn't have met Lucifer, however. Much of the same things would have probably have happened - a career, a child."

"Oh." It was a sad sound. In spite of all the insanity that invaded her life, she was happy Lucifer was there. "Do I have to lose everything when I heal? All my memories of this place? Can't you just convince me this was a dream?"

"I'm sorry, but the cycle could break. Humanity rarely functions well in the fore-knowledge of an afterlife."

"Dan's Catholic though. They all teach it."

"And yet so many disregard and underestimate those teachings, do they not? Dan himself doesn't truly believe. Few humans do, it's far too much to blindly accept. In any case, it's not required. You're here, as are other atheists and agnostics, though you are special."

"I didn't believe Lucifer could be who he said he was, and he's been there by me this entire time."

"And you won't believe when you return."

Chloe rolled her necklace in her fingers. It never failed to be there when she reached for it. That had to mean something. She must have put voice to the thought.

"It means that it doesn't matter if you believe him or not. You care for each other."

"He doesn't, I mean, he is who he is."

Chuck smiled. "And he won't alter how he lives until he believes that, too. But he does care for you, even if he's bad at sorting his own emotions. He hasn't had anyone care for him, want something other than a favor, in a very long while. It's still new and precious to him, and he treats it like a bubble that might burst and vanish."

Something warm settled into her chest. She took a long, deep breath, then another. "I think. I think I might be going back now."

Chuck got her to lie down in the garden on her back. "If you're in the same position as your bed, it will help. Lucifer isn't back yet, however. I'll try to delay you until then."

He left? "How long has it been?"

"A bit more than a week, not too long. Time is different here and it's going to make you disoriented." He held her hand, stroking it softly.

"Does it matter then? If he's back yet?"

"I'd like you to pass on a message, if you don't mind too much. I can't talk to Lucifer directly, but if I give you words, you might repeat them on awakening."

Her brain was getting slightly sluggish. "But I won't remember anything."

"There's a short span while you return to your body that overlaps here."

"What do you want me to say? Have you done this before?"

"Many times. Always with mortals as the targets of a message, however."

She pushed her shoulders up. "Wait, did you know this would happen?" He liked to visit those on the cusp, he said.

"As I said, I have all the talents of my children, including foresight. It muddles a bit because of the separation of the planes of life and death."

Of anything Lucifer ever said about his Father, none of it had never been favorable. She twitched. "You're using me as...as voicemail?"

Chuck sighed. "I can no longer interact directly with the universe I created. It expanded beyond my ability to comfortably manage. Anything I touch can alter your world in dangerous ways, if I'm not careful. This too, is a risk, but a small one. Hospital staff are used to delirious outbursts, and oddly enough, your ex-husband has some natural resistance to the divine; he will likely be fine." A funny look crossed His face but she couldn't translate the emotion. "And in some cases, no resistance at all. Can't say I blame him."

"Huh?"

"Please ignore the ramblings of a melancholy God. If you love something. Set it free. I did exactly the wrong thing. Well. Maybe my son isn't lost to me, yet, even if my wife is. Yes, I am using you for my own purposes, but I'm not above opening a way back for him, he need only meet me halfway."

Chloe closed her eyes, holding a palm over her face against a light that wasn't there a minute ago. Ever so faintly, she heard a steady beep of a heart monitor. It echoed her own heartbeat here but it was off just enough to feel and sound jarring to her senses. One was slower and she couldn't tell which. Chuck pushed a pillow of moss under her head.

The fingers of her other hand clutched a thin, starched sheet that didn't touch the rest of her body. "Why...why should he do anything? You threw him out."

Chuck had a hand on her shoulder and it gripped then relaxed. "Child, he is meant to return home, but he cannot do that until he repents for his sins. I've foreseen that he will return someday, but not when. I have a not-very-secret hope that he will follow you back here when it's truly your time, that he will see the error of his ways." The voice was warm and thoughtful.

And it chilled her to the bone. She fought to clear her head, just in case God really was omniscient. Either it worked or He wasn't paying attention. "Hell wasn't punishment enough?"

She kept her eyes closed but heard His slow exhale. "Punishment is nothing if it does not achieve a goal. Ruling his own realm has only made him bitter."

"Gee, I wonder why."

"You have a better idea, my child?" somehow the words were more sarcastic than the tone, teasing as if she were a child.

A shiver wracked her body and she began to feel. The words she said hurt, because she didn't believe He had to - "Forgive Lucifer. Write off whatever he did."

God pulled away. She thought maybe He was shaking His head. "My sweet, innocent mortals. You have so far to go yet. My standing in the Silver City must be unquestioned. I cannot let any of the fallen return without absolution of their sins."

-Chloe?-

She grit her teeth. "What would you have me parrot to him?"

Sigh. "A name. One who did return. Did you know Lucifer prayed to me for your life? It was an extraordinary gesture, a prayer that I put the world at risk to answer. There's still fallout from that, you should know. It got him halfway back home just with that one sacrifice, that one set of actions. The rest requires words."

Chloe peeked out through her fingers. "What words?"

"He must come before me and swear a new oath of fealty. I think when you pass from your world, permanently, he will choose to bend his knee to me once more. It's no less than he'd done before he was cast out, and no less than I require of all my children."

Chloe was suddenly looking forward to being an atheist again. "Better to rule in Hell, isn't that how it goes?"

God snorted. "He left his domain, remember? And you won't go there. You were always meant to come to Heaven."

She jerked involuntarily. "What?"

He held her hand again. "Your soul will always be safe. Now, child, Lucifer is nearly returned. These are the words-"

She coughed a laugh. "You're probably just going to piss him off more." The cough was followed by a breath that felt too deep.

God ignored her, grating out words in something sort of a Latin-sounding sentence.

Everything went black.

Then white.

Then strange sounds fell out of her mouth as plastic tubes were tugged from her throat with wet noises and chapped lips and beeping and sliding things over her dry tongue and-

"Chloe!"

Her eyes opened to Dan's soft blue ones, and movement on her other side revealed Lucifer, half out of breath and clutching the bed rail with white knuckles. "Detective! What did you just say?"

Dan shot the Devil a sour look. "It wasn't anything, man, she's been out for a long time, give her space."

"She said...something in the language of the angels. I missed the first part."

The sour look did not go away. "Really?"

"Well, yes, not that I'd expect anyone mortal to understand it. Or even speak it."

Chloe licked her lips and made a rough sound. The men redirected their attention to her.

The nurse finished unwrapping the tubes and held out a small cup of water. "Here, take small sips, if you can. Just rest while we get everything sorted, alright? You need to stay one more night so we can watch you, but you should be able to go home soon, honey."

Everything hurt. She was able to lean forward a tiny bit and manage a sip. The tepid tap water was heavenly, soaking into her very being like the finest wine.

Maybe she could get some decent painkillers if she was stuck here longer. Chloe tried to wipe her face but her hands were slow to respond. She tried again while her visitors hovered, nearly slapping herself in the face. "What happened?"

Lucifer plowed ahead while Dan looked like he was gathering words. "Got your noggin knocked up, darling. You're patched up but on strict bed rest until you recover. I'm happy to come by and make sure you're tucked in any hour."

Dan rolled his eyes. "I can keep Trixie until you're up again, or just stay for a week or few days to help out."

Chloe covered her face with one hand and the action triggered a weird feeling of deja vu. It passed and she looked between her fingers. "I am going to regret waking up, aren't I? Thank you both. I can take care of myself-"

The doctor cleared his throat. "Actually if you're going to be alone, you should stay here at least a few more days first."

"Maze can-"

"No!"

"Absolutely not."

She dropped her hand. She hated feeling vulnerable. So completely helpless, like she couldn't fight off a kitten if she wanted to.

Dan stood a little straighter. "It's no trouble. I'll even bring you your favorite pie."

Lucifer coughed. "Fine. I'll see to it that actual meals are available since one cannot live on pie alone." He looked like he wanted to ask what kind she liked.

If she didn't tell him there was going to be one of every dessert pastry imaginable in her kitchen by morning. She held back a laugh she knew would hurt. "It's apple. I like apple pie. Dan is pretty good at them."

Dan bit his lip but Lucifer beamed. "Boring pie it is. Naturally he'd have a flair for boring pies. I'm sure I can find you the best one in LA."

"Thanks, but I really don't want one covered in gold leaf. How long was I out? Where's Trix?"

Lucifer grinned slyly. "Three years, love."

Dan twitched. "It's only been a week!"

He just smiled down at Chloe, who smirked and swatted in his direction. He caught her hand reflexively and replied to Dan, "in-joke. No more meeting like this, allright? Might get tedious if it happens again." His words were teasing but he held her palm like it was life-line. "I've got your birthday gift here, if you want it back-"

Chloe squeezed his hand, an urgent feeling rolling up in her chest. "Put it on me?"

Lucifer froze for a second, then pulled out the necklace, carefully untangling the chain that knotted from being stuffed in too many pockets. "Yes, you'll be wanting to wear something other than that dreadful hospital scrap."

"Shut up and give it here, I'll do it myself."

In spite of her threat, He fixed the clasp at her neck and slid it around to the back, leaving the bullet resting between her breasts. "There we are. How are you feeling? Ready for some recuperation?"

"I feel alive. But both of you look like you've been in a train wreck."

Her ex just grunted, so naturally Lucifer said, "hardly, the train would be worse off. Haven't you ever seen Hancock? It would be very much like that. Unless you were there, of course. Let's not do that."

Dan wandered off to find paperwork to sign.

Lucifer placed the length of his penthouse. By now, the Detective's apartment would be overflowing with floral arrangements, perched all over for her arrival back home.

He waited impatiently on Amenadiel to get his non-feathered ass over here after 'blowing up his phone' as the humans say.

He could have sworn he heard the Detective praying to him. But the odds made it impossible. Besides her atheism. Which no doubt went through the wringer before being put back in place, she had to know she was doing it. Maybe he was mistaken.

Amenadiel finally arrived, breaking into his shifting thoughts, watching Lucifer's stalking movements warily. He approached his brother like a cat to a lion, but he bore a cautious smile. "So, Rhendriel. Fell after you did. Found out through what I have left of the grapevine that she...returned to the Silver City. Luci, she was welcomed back. I'm not sure when, but she wasn't away for long."

Rather than eagerly accepting the good news, he snapped, "oh? And what price did Father demand?"

"Well. I don't have all the details."

"What do you have?"

"She was...demoted. She is no longer an angel, but one of the lower caste." He winced as he said it, but it didn't bury his hope. Surely Lucifer would want any status in the City over ever returning to Hell or living amongst the mortals for much longer.

Lucifer clutched his whiskey glass until it cracked. "I believe that's a hard pass from me."

Amenadiel frowned. "Why did you ask about her then?"

He looked in the mirror behind the bar. "Chloe apparently passed on a message from dear Father. The name was part of it."

"Oh, through her near-death-," at Lucifer's raptor glare, he amended, "most certainly not life-threatening experience? And the rest?"

Lucifer sucked on a cigarette to pause heavily. His voice thickened as he spoke. "Submit to me, be again my Morningstar in truth. Together we we rule the galaxy as father and son."

Amenadiel looked at him blankly.

"Alright, fine, I made up that second part, but it amounts to the same thing. More like King and Lordling than Father and son. He's either saying I won't lose my power or position should I return; should I grovel for His forgiveness, or that I'll be demoted to mall-kiosk manager but I get to live one again in the City. I only got part of the message, as the Detective was already coming around before I got back from a...personal errand."

"That's still great news, Luci! You have a way back home, now!"

"Not if I have to walk back on my knees, I don't."

"But-"

His wings flared out with flashing edges, unbidden and unwelcome. "Sodding- No! I did nothing wrong. I will not seek to repent for Dad's fickle mercies. He's the one who should come to me."

Amenadiel groaned softly, ache in his tone. "Just...don't burn this bridge, alright?" 'like you did your wings' hung in the air unspoken yet echoing all the same.

The immovable object continued to stare at his reflection dead in the eyes. "I served once. Never again."

Chloe finally collapsed in her own bed with a sigh heard the world 'round, flopping on top of the covers, spread-eagle and limp. "Hello bed, I missed you."

Trixie flopped down next to her and curled up hard against her side.

"Hey Monkey. Wanna sleep here tonight?"

Trixie nodded and wrapped an arm around her mother. "Did you dream?"

She dreamed during her last night in the hospital, but they were fueled by a dose of morphine and ran all over the place. "I dunno, sweetie. There's bits and pieces, but mostly I just remember a flash and then waking up in the hospital bed." Pain too, but she didn't mention that part.

"I asked God to fix you."

Chloe kept her eye-roll to herself. "That's nice of you, baby. The doctors fixed me, but I'm still glad you were looking out for me, it's sweet."

"I know they did. But I still think God heard me."

She blew out a breath, smiling to herself. She missed her childhood sometimes. Speaking of which. "Hey, I did have this one dream, I think."

Trixie's voice was muffled against her mom's body. "Yeah?"

Chloe's outstretched hand felt something. Warm and loved and missed, a ghostly passing of fur through her fingers. She pushed her head up but saw nothing. Relaxing again, she curled her limbs around her daughter.

"Did I ever tell you about Charlie?"

-end-