Tick, tock. Tick, tock.

Despite the disarray surrounding her, that was all she could hear. The sound drilled into her skull, making it hard not to think about just how precious time really was. Somehow, your whole world could come crashing down, changing everything you knew in the blink of an eye.

It's easy to think about the what ifs, about what she should have done — about what she shouldn't have done — and right now, she would have given everything just to go back to this morning and change everything.

She couldn't have this happen again. She couldn't lose another person. Not yet.

Maggie ran her thumb across her knuckles in an effort to comfort herself. However, upon feeling the sticky substance covering her hands, she felt bile rise up in the back of her throat. She placed her palm against the white wall, coloring it red whilst she tried to keep herself from emptying the contents of her stomach all across the hospital floor.

"Agent Bell, do you hear me?" Someone placed a hand on her shoulder, giving it a small squeeze. "Are you hurt?"

Her team would come storming through the hospital soon, but right now, she was only surrounded by kind strangers trying to do their job.

She can only bring herself to shake her head. She had seen the damage the bullets had caused. The first one had gone through his left shoulder, causing him to scream in agony. The next one had silenced her when it tore into his left lung. By the time she had been able to shoot their assailant, OA had sagged down to the floor, gasping for breath and surrounded by his own blood.

Dialing for help, practically shouting at the poor operator as she watched her best friend's breaths become more and more shallow, had been among the hardest things she had ever done.

OA stayed calm throughout it all. He just watched her. At one point, he interrupted her stream of just stay awakes and tried to say something, only to cough and then wince at the pain. You can tell me later, she told him. Because he was going to be okay.

She blinked, pulling herself back to reality. "I'm fine," she said, surprising herself with how steady her voice was.

"Agent Zidan is in good hands," the nurse said softly.

"I know." The doctors would do everything they could to save him, and he was a fighter. She just hoped that was enough.

"Let's get you cleaned up, okay?"

She nodded again. The team didn't need to see her drenched in blood when they arrived, and she couldn't stand the sticky feeling any longer.

The nurse — Emily— lead her into a small, dimly lit room with a sink. The water felt cold against her trembling hands, and she watched as the red disappeared down the drain. At some point, she left the room. Maggie didn't realize until she returned with a sweater.

"Thanks," she forced a smile, and with a nod, Emily left her alone again to change.

It's not until then she truly let herself break, alone and sheltered from the rest of the world. The crushing weight on her chest left her heaving for air, and she grabbed the edges of the sink, depending on it to keep herself standing. She shouldn't have said yes to entering the building, she should've told him to wait for backup; especially when they weren't in vests.

The team should've arrived by now, and whilst she longed not to be alone, she couldn't face them right now. Rationally, she knew the team wouldn't blame her, but that didn't really matter when she blamed herself.

She spent the following minutes trying to compose herself, wondering why humans were ever equipped with a feeling as horrible as guilt. Breathe in. Breathe out. Despite every breath hurting as much as the last one, she managed to get her physical reaction somewhat under control.

Now or never, she thought.

Her hand hovered above the handle for what seemed like an eon. She knew she had to face reality at some point, but as long as she was here, she was safe. Nobody would give her the speech about how they did everything they did but were unable to save her partner. As long as she stayed here, she could still hope. So, she let herself rest her head against the door instead. Just a few more minutes, she promised herself. She just needed a little more time.

She stayed like that until someone carefully knocked on the door. "Maggie?"

Dana. The thought barely registered before she entered.

"One of the nurses told me I might find you here," she said softly.

Oh. "Yeah, I needed to change."

A part of her wanted to ask her why she'd come to find her, because she'd already run through dozens of scenarios, each making her more nervous than the last, but she still didn't know if she wanted the answer. Nevertheless, she knew Dana would tell her anyway.

"A doctor came to see us," she said, making her heart drop. "They said he was lucky."

She blinked, unsure if she'd heard correctly over the sound of her beating heart. "They did?"

"He'll be in surgery for a while longer, but it looks like he'll be just fine." Dana offered her a smile. "Just thought you'd want to know."

She let out a shaky breath. "Thank you."

The words aren't enough to truly convey the depths of the emotions rushing through her. He's gonna be okay. It's not until then, with the guilt and pain loosening its grip on her heart, that she realized just how tired she is.

"Do you want to join us outside?"

"Yeah." No real reason to stay here anymore.

With that, they made their way back to the waiting area, the only thought lingering in her mind being that everything would be okay.

A/N: Thanks to Claire for betaing this part 3