Running Headfirst into the Storm

A/N: I cannot, will not, stop spreading my love for ASubtleCuddle.

But I would also like to extend my social-distanced appreciation for all my other readers and friends. Living in the midst of a pandemic is scary and, honestly, it's hard to see the light at the end of this Willy Wonka Tunnel. Stay safe and healthy, everybody.

. . .

When she got home, Kyoko neglected her responsibilities at the Daruyama to weep quietly in her room. This time her cries didn't fill the building like when Sawara-san told her that she was fundamentally broken as a person. That was a damn breaking. This was a leak springing in the one she'd rebuilt. Her tears contorted her face and shuddered gasps ran up her spine. They didn't shake her into some life-altering revelation like they had at President Takarada's office.

Her cries stripped down the layers of her heart. Since her breakdown before Guam, she thought she was finally living the life of someone who understood love. She stealthily watered her love and encouraged it to grow in the shadow of secrecy. Except, when Tsuruga-san did the unthinkable and actually confessed mutual feelings, it became clear that her love-her precious flower-was nothing more than a plant made out of plastic. Not even a nice fake flower. It was one she could buy at Daiso for 100 yen.

What she had felt wasn't love. Not really. This was a feeling charading as love so she could survive through her time in the Love Me! Section.

She had President Takarada fooled. She had herself fooled. Kyoko loved the idea of Tsuruga Ren. She loved how he treated her. She loved how his presence wrapped her in warmth. That he stayed with her, even after learning all of her ugly parts. She loved that... he was unattainable. Untouchable. That even as she learned all the things about him that nobody else knew, he would remain out of her reach. She never anticipated that the great Tsuruga Ren would ever fall to love her. Love her, maybe, more than she ever thought possible. If what he had was love, how could she ever give him the love he deserved? After all this time in the Love Me! Section, and she still couldn't trust herself to love him. She was still afraid to love Tsuruga-san with all her heart.

She was so, so selfish for dragging everybody into her fear. It wasn't until Julie started asking all those questions, the ones that dug deeply into her chest and tore at her heartstrings, that Kyoko realized a real love had sprouted in her chest. She'd been so distracted with her life that it took someone else to tell her that she was in love.

Her plastic love had been a false start but this was the start of something real. If Tsuruga was willing to do all of this, disrupt his life and embody Kuon, she could test the waters and see where her love took her. She, too, could prove that she was willing to work to be with him. Pushing him away wasn't helping either of them like she thought it would.

There was still something that she needed to understand, something her brain was begging her to see before this feeling could blossom. But she kept running away before her heart could recognize the shape of the missing puzzle piece.

It was time to slow down.

If she didn't, she risked losing Tsuruga-san. He couldn't be Kuon forever. One day he would have to shed his skin and step into his true self, whoever that may be. The only thing she did know is that part of that person, that stranger she was yet to meet, loved her. "Tell me what I'm missing, Tsuruga-san," she whispered into her pillow. She waited, foolishly, for an answer before remembering she was alone. Kyoko groaned, rolling over in bed.

Her thoughts kept her awake through the night. When the morning started to inch in, her eyelids felt like paper and exhaustion settled into her bones. There were only a few hours that remained before she needed to face the world and get back to work.

As much as this had helped focus the chaos that'd consumed her life since Tsuruga Ren's Kimagure Rock interview-the world didn't actually revolve around her love life. All of this would have to wait until her work on Lotus was done for the day. There were only a few days left of shooting before they could wrap; nobody needed her head stuck in the clouds.

BBZT. BZT. BZ. BZ. BZT.

Kanae's ringtone shattered the contemplative silence of Kyoko's bedroom. She groped blindly for her cell, racking her brain for all of the reasons her friend would be calling her at 3 AM. The math told her that it was 11 in the morning for Kanae on set in Los Angeles, but that didn't answer any of her questions. She never called until the end of the work day in order to stay respectful of their time differences.

Taking a deep breath, Kyoko accepted the video call request. "Hello?" she mumbled, careful not to speak too loudly with the taisho and okami asleep across the hall. "Is everything okay?"

"So, finally, you figured out how to pick up a phone," Kanae snapped as the call connected, before their cameras came into focus. "I've been calling for hours; I was about to call President Takarada to see if you managed to get yourself roped into another one of his secret plans."

Kyoko cringed, squeezing her eyes shut as she finally registered the dozen missed calls and twenty texts from her best friend present in her notifications. She'd thought it had been her head buzzing from all the crying. It was her phone. "I, uh, I'm sorry, Moko," she said weakly. "It's been weird around here lately."

Kanae's anger softened when her screen finally focused on Kyoko's red-rimmed eyes and tearstained face. Kyoko was always the strong one; she couldn't remember if she'd ever seen Kyoko actually cry. Fake cry and whimper, sure. But never cry. "You want to talk about it?"

She stayed quiet for a minute, mulling it over. The last thing she wanted was to rope yet another person into her problems but she couldn't muster enough resolve to lie.

"It's-nothing?" She scoffed at herself, shaking her head. "It's everything, Moko-san. It's like the world has been turned upside down for months and it's up to me to figure out how to make it better"

Kanae hummed. "Are you any closer to your goal?"

Kyoko choked on a laugh, forcing down tears as she smiled wistfully. "No. The Hizuris arrived yesterday."

"Does the president have you waiting on Hizuri-san again?"

"No, no, nothing like that. We... We had a weird talk yesterday afternoon and I walked out on them. But that's the last I heard from them." Kyoko turned on her side, minimizing Kanae's face to scan the popular celebrity news sites. "They're not even in the news. I don't think anybody outside of LME knows that they're even here."

Sighing, Kanae ran a hand over her face. "So, it's true."

"What is?"

"The Hizuris are producing this film. They were supposed to be here for a visit this morning. The entire set was freaking out about it; the director even cancelled the day's shoot for an all call, instead. And then seven am rolled around, and..."

"And they never showed."

She nodded. "The word is that the director got a message that they had a family emergency and would let us know when they could reschedule. I've been calling you ever since."

"Their family emergency was a surprise visit to Japan?" That was weird, Kyoko could admit, but she didn't see what that had to do with Kanae's call. Maybe it was her lack of sleep, but there was something Kanae wasn't saying. And with all the secrets she's been juggling, she'd rather Moko just spit it out. "You, know, I'm not actually related to Kuu. There was no reason to worry about me."

"Worry about... Kyoko, I've been worried about you since you brought up Love Me number 4. But that's not why I called." She took a deep breath. "There's whispers that they left to retrieve their son."

Kyoko's lungs twisted painfully and for a moment, she saw double. "Son?" she croaked. "You don't say."

"You know they have a son, Kyoko."

She did know they had a son. Of course she knew. After Kuu's game, she would argue that out of everybody in Japan, she knew Kuon best. She knew Kuon was a bright boy with so much potential, being the son of two incredibly talented people. She knew Kuon loved his parents deeply, and she guessed he probably also harbored some sort of resentment for them because of the expectations weighing heavy on his identity. She knew that Kuu was still so proud of his Kuon-regardless of their unspoken falling out. And she knew that, one day, Kuon would rise above Kuu and Julie. After all, he'd already surpassed Kuu's portrayal of Katsuki.

Except that last part wasn't Kuon. Not, Kuu's Kuon, at least. It was Tsuruga-san. Kyoko sucked in her breath. How could she have possibly gotten them confused?

Doubt stole the words from her throat. Right, she was supposed to be on the phone with Moko. "But-"

"The whole cast is going off the wall with their theories. They're all talking about how Kuon could never break free from his father's shadow out here. Apparently, a lot of people had thought he died... but there was never a funeral."

Oh.

Oh, no.

Of course there wouldn't have been a funeral. Kuon didn't share his father's love of the theatrics. There were, however, other ways to disappear without people noticing. Especially if Kuon was struggling as an actor in the US before... before all of this.

"You want to know what the current theory is?" Kanae asked, chalking up Kyoko's inability to string words together to excitement rather than palpable dread.

Kyoko could barely look her friend in the eye. She swallowed hard. "Sure."

"There's a rumor he was whisked away and is now acting under a different name."

A stage name, she corrected mentally. Because it's been a stage name this entire time. She knew this, too. But she also didn't know that she knew. God, she should have known.

How could she have not realized after all this time? "You think he may be in Japan?" Kyoko asked, unable to hide the tremble in her voice. To think, she had to go into work after all of this. Could she still embody Momiji with all of this weighing on her mind?

"It makes sense, doesn't it? There was really no reason for Kuu Hizuri to be in Japan last time." Kanae said. "He had to have been there for a reason. That press stuff he dragged you to could have all been done over the phone or online."

"Right."

"Was there any time he could have slipped away from you? For a rendezvous with his son?"

"I-" Kyoko took a breath, shaking her head as she held it in her chest. "Possibly."

"Maybe you even met him and didn't even know it," Kanae thought aloud. But Kyoko would have told her about meeting someone new, right? All she remembered from Kyoko's Kuu Hizuri stories was when she pretended to be Kuon and ran into Tsuruga Ren. "They passed around an old picture of him around the set today, from when he was, like, fifteen. Hold on."

"Okay."

Kyoko knew who'd be in the picture long before Kanae turned the phone. She could feel it in her bones, but she couldn't find it in herself to look away as her friend rifled through the papers on her makeup table. She needed to see it for herself.

"Did you meet anyone that looked like this?" Kanae held up a photo of a photo, some scrap from a tabloid circulating the US market. They loved Kuu Hizuri almost as much as Japan did. But they never applied that same love to Kuon-it said as much in the caption beside the grainy photo. 'They could have cultivated something great' in Kuon, it read. But we lost out to racism and expecting children to be carbon-copies of their parents.

It took everything in Kyoko not to burst into tears. Because there he was, all shiny and beautiful. Just like she remembered, albeit a bit older. She slowly let out a sigh. These past few months... he wasn't making fun of her. He was proving herself.

He really was someone that wasn't Tsuruga Ren.

"That's Kuon," she said finally, when it became obvious Moko was waiting for her reaction. Her voice scratched in her throat and the words were barely a whisper. But at least she spoke when she was supposed to.

"I know," Kanae said. "But... so do you?" The lack of surprise made that much obvious. Except she couldn't believe Kyoko didn't tell her that she'd met Kuu Hizuri's illusive son!

"That's... Moko, that's Kuon. He's Love Me! Number four."

No. President Takarada was notorious for his elaborate plans-but to pull off something like this? Where had he been hiding Kuon Hizuri of all people? In the LME basement? Kanae didn't know if she should be impressed... or terrified. Maybe she should have cut her losses and signed with a smaller agency. "Are... are you sure?"

"He looks exactly like this but aged up, like ten years," Kyoko said. She didn't say anything about his identity of Tsuruga freaking Ren. Not only was it not her place to say anything, but she knew she would combust if she said the words out loud. "It's him... without a doubt."

There was a moment of silence between the two friends. Kyoko looked everywhere but the screen and Kanae stared right at her. Even half of a world away, Kanae could read the expressions on her face. Something happened between Kyoko and Kuon-something she wasn't willing (or ready) to talk about. Kanae sighed. There was no use getting into it now; she couldn't kick Kyoko when she was already down. "Well, I hope you haven't done anything to embarrass yourself in front of Kuu Hizuri's son."

Kyoko flinched. "Kanae, I need to call you back."

She barely hung up before the phone slipped from her fingers, crashing to the ground. The glass splintered into spiderwebs, but Kyoko didn't care. She didn't even care that she hung up on her friend.

Tsuruga Ren was Kuon.

Kuon Hizuri.

Corn.

It had been him the whole time. She'd been so... How did she miss this? From that very first day Tsuruga-san introduced himself as Kuon, she knew something was up. She knew she was missing something. And it was right in front of her this whole time. Even if she missed the first hints, everything should have made sense when she met Kuu again-she shouldn't have needed her best friend to prompt her into the realization.

Kuu! Red crossed her vision. Kuu and Julie listened to her cry and complain, knowing the whole time what she was dealing with. They let her vent her frustration about this whole Kuon situation without once stopping her to say that Tsuruga-san wasn't pretending. That he was Kuon.

They could have told her it was safe to love him.

They didn't.

Kyoko scooped her broken phone up from the ground. The power button brought it back to life in spite of the shattered screen. She jabbed her fingers into the sharp screen, dialling the hotel Kuu stayed in the last time. A pleasant voice greeted her on the other end of the line, forcing her to drop her anger and plaster on her customer service voice. "Hello, I work for LME and I'm looking to deliver a message to Hizuri-san."

The attendant slipped, letting out a squeak. "I'm sorry, uh, miss. But there's nobody checked-in under that name."

"Hozu Shuuhei, then"

"I'm... I'm sorry. Not that name, either."

"I'm family," she bit out. "Can't you at least tell me if someone was checked in by one of those names?"

"Family..." The line went quiet for a moment as the receptionist considered this. Finally, she spoke. "Are you Mogami-san?" she asked.

Kyoko narrowed her eyes. She didn't like a stranger knowing her name, but she really couldn't complain. She was an actress, but it was strange to hear her family name from anyone that wasn't close to her. "Yes. This is Mogami Kyoko."

"All right, Kyoko-san. Hizuri-san left a note for you here when they checked out, if you'd like to come in and pick it up."

"Can you read it to me?"

The receptionist bristled. "I, uh, well, that would be an invasion of privacy."

"It's my note. I'm giving you permission." Kyoko sighed. "Look, I'll come down later and show my ID and everything. But I'm trying to catch up to my father because he left without telling me again."

Surprisingly, the lie came easily. Easy enough that it even sounded mostly true to her own ears. If only everything else about this whole situation was this easy.

"I- all right." The line went quiet for a moment and Kyoko heard paper rustling. "It says: Dearest Daughter, We're so sorry that we had to cut our visit short. Please feel free to visit home whenever you find the time. The Boss will have our latest address on file. Sincerest apologies. Love, Mom and Dad-Julie and Kuu Hizuri."

She took a deep breath. Of course the note had to be so innocuous. But she couldn't get mad at the receptionist for the Hizuri's mistakes, not even if she was a meaner person. "Thank you so much for your help," she said stiffly. "I'll be sure to extend my appreciation to your manager." And an apology for my behavior, she mentally added.

Kyoko hung up before she could make any more mistakes. Instead, her fingers scrolled through months of her phone log to find the next number she needed to call. It took minutes of passing over calls to the office, from Yashiro, and exchanges between her and Kanae before she found what she was looking for. TSURUGA REN, the contact name read. The last message he sent was a request for her to be in the audience for Yappa Kimagure Rock. The message she went out of her way to ignore.

What would have happened if she had someone stand in for Bo that night? Would she still be in this position?

Forcing herself not to go down that rabbit hole, Kyoko held her breath and clicked call.

The connection hesitated and maybe considered connecting, before sending an angry decline beep through the speaker. An automated message spoke to her, cold and uncaring: We're sorry, the number you reached has been disconnected or is no longer in service. If you think this is a mistake, please redial or call the service provider.

She wasn't surprised; this had to be part of his whole vacation schtick. Except this wasn't a schtick. If she had known this was a more permanent solution to her problem-she would have taken Kuon more seriously. Maybe asked for his phone number because now she had no way to contact him.

She needed to contact him. She needed to know what all of this meant. No hiding. No secrets.

If he still loved her, would she be able to accept him this time? Tears rushed to her eyes but she wiped them away with an amazed chuckle. She didn't have the time to get all blubbery now. Right now...

Right now she needed to talk to Ren.

Kuon.

And there was one person who definitely knew how to get in contact with him. She pulled out her phone and typed out a quick message for Yashiro as she dashed down the stairs: Emergency meeting with President Takarada, please alert the Lotus set that I'll be missing. My deepest apologies; I'll catch you up ASAP.

She turned off her phone.

#

"Mogami-san, Takarada-san is busy," Ruto said, stepping in front of Kyoko when she burst through the door and started for the President's office.

She barely looked at him as she tried to skirt his blockade. "Is he with someone that I would be embarrassed about interrupting?" she asked.

He hesitated. "No?"

"Then tell him you couldn't stop me."

Ruto wordlessly stepped aside, allowing Kyoko to storm into the President's office. He knew better than to get in her way when she was on a mission. The stories about her stalking Sawara-san were notorious. Being on Kyoko's bad side was arguably worse than being on President Takarada's bad side. And Takarada-san had control over his whole career.

Kyoko breezed past the couches and the TVs and all of Lory's opulent decor. She refused to acknowledge his assistants and back-up dancers rehearsing something in the back corner of the room. In fact, she didn't stop until she was standing in front of his desk at the back of the room. President Takarada was still dressed in his elaborate, shining clothes, but all his accessories were dumped on the neighboring couch. Instead of a bedazzled headpiece, he wore his glasses as he worked, doing paperwork of all things.

"Get me in contact with Tsuruga-san," she said in greeting.

Lory didn't even look up from his paperwork. He continued writing as he spoke. "Tsuruga Ren? He's on vacation now. No service and no interruptions from anyone. Not even you, Mogami-san."

"You can lie to everybody else, but you can't lie to me." Kyoko growled. He was really going to play this game now? "You know as well as I do that he never left the country."

"I don't know about that..." Lory looked up, finally, a smile playing at the corners of his lips. It only took how many months before she stormed into his office? Honestly, he expected her sooner. "What makes you say I'm lying? I'm a very trustworthy person, I'll have you know."

Trustworthy? When had this man ever been trustworthy?

"Tsuruga Ren has been Kuon in the Love Me! Department for weeks," she said. He raised his brows and had the decency to gasp, but Kyoko powered through. The games and secrecy had to end even if she had to rip up the rules herself. "Don't play dumb, Takarada-san. I knew it was him the entire time."

"Oh, did you?"

"Get me in contact with Kuon!"

Lory smiled and set down his pen. Leisurely, as if his favorite actress wasn't angry with him, he leaned back and pulled his legs up on the desk. "Get you in contact with Kuon... or what, Mogami-san?"

"Excuse me?"

"What happens if I don't connect with you with Kuon?" he pressed with a grin. Kyoko stilled. Lory sighed dramatically and motioned out to the door. "What are the stakes? What do you have to gain by getting his number? What do you you have to lose if I refuse?" He raised his brows. "Isn't this supposed to be the part where you threaten to quit acting? To quit LME?"

The walls crashed down. The anger she had been using as energy dissolved into weak defeat. Tears sprung to her eyes and she no longer had the energy to even pretend to hide them. Her entire life was just a game to everybody. A path to follow, filled with inevitable truths and deceit. Everything happened for a reason-except it was clear now. That reason wasn't fate. It was everybody messing with her life because they thought they knew better. When was she going to be able to make her own decisions?

"This isn't one of your dating sims, President Takarada! I'm not going to-I'm not..." She struggled with the words.

"You're not going to...?"

An empty laugh ripped up her throat. "You fucking promised," she whispered. "You promised you wouldn't interfere with my love life and yet that's all you know how to do."

Lory's face sobered. He sat up properly, leaning across the desk with an apology on his lips. But Kyoko was faster. "I hate you."

Silence fell over the office. The dancers had filed out at the first sign of the argument and all that was left was Lory and Kyoko staring each other down. Even Ruto kept himself out of it, opting to guard the door instead. There would no interruptions. No-get-out-jail-free cards.

Sighing, Lory ran a hand across his face. "Even if I could get you ahold of Kuon, I couldn't," he said. "Honestly, I would. But even my powers aren't strong enough."

"Why not?"

Crossing his arms, Lory sat back. All the calmness Ren embodied in Japan had disappeared when he insisted on transitioning back to Kuon. He didn't return to the same boy Lory first met when he came to Japan... but it was clear that the persona of Tsuruga Ren no longer applied. Kuon was letting himself feel... not recklessly... but passionately. That's what Lory saw when Kuon called him from the airport.

He saw the same thing in Kyoko, which is why after years in meddling in everybody's affairs, now seemed like the appropriate time to retire. Not LME. But retire in love. His games had taken on a life of their own; Kyoko and Kuon didn't need him anymore.

"He's on a plane to the US," he said finally. "He left without warning... without talking with his parents. That's why Kuu and Julie left. To follow him."

Kyoko didn't need to think about it.

"Get me on the next plane."

~ End Chapter Seven ~

A/N: One more chapter! Can you believe it?

Disclaimer: I can't believe it.

Also, as a formal note: I wrote and planned this without thinking of ways to settle the Kimiko incident and I certainly couldn't have predicted the introduction of [redacted] in the last two chapters. Please keep that in mind as I wrap this up! Thanks, everybody, for hanging on with me!

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