Summary
All Sora wanted was the freedom to take control, and all Roxas needed was the freedom to completely lose it.
Chapter 1: In which they are assigned the worst of roles.
There was a method to pissing Roxas off. All you needed to do was position yourself a mere three feet in front of him. Preferably, this would be while the blonde was sitting in his desk so that you could have the high ground. But at any rate, any distance was fine as long as you made eye contact.
Just exist as you are and the boy's glare would be so intense that you might as well have shoved your whole foot into a boiling lava pit. And many, the embarrassed target mused, would have gladly taken the plunge over this. But it didn't help that the whole class was staring on top of it all.
Frankly, Sora didn't know what he had done to set his costar off, but the above rules were special and applied to him alone. He would have laughed if he wasn't currently being murdered by a set of unfeeling blue eye shards. And yet, he tried to smile through the pain anyway. "Uhhh, remind me what the line was again?"
Roxas' glare transformed into something special. He turned away. "I'm done. He's hopeless. I'm acting next to a tree stump. Anyone else willing to read this doofus' lines?! Anybody? I'll pay you."
"Oh, come on! Everything else was perfect, wasn't it?" Sora glanced at his friends, hell, his teacher, for backup, but his heart curled inward painfully as the giggles and pitiful stares confirmed that he was on his own.
The teacher, for his part, looked concerned, but it was more of a, I'm surrounded by morons, lament. As he brought his pen up to mark a clipboard Sora had a sinking suspicion that he was going to get an F for participation that day.
"Mind telling me why you don't have your lines memorized, Sora?" Zexion, aforementioned teacher, drawled with a bored tone.
Well, it was time to make shit up. Sora glanced at his notes, then briefly at Roxas' smug expression before clearing his throat. "I had them memorized, sir. It's just… I've been really distracted lately-"
"So you come to class unprepared, waste all of our time, and expect us to care?" Zexion raised an eyebrow. "Perhaps you should share your concerns with the class if it's affecting your performance this badly."
Sora could feel the flush in his cheeks before the heat came. More snickers erupted and for the upteenth time the teen pondered why he chose to continue with theater this semester. Don't get him wrong, he loved acting, but this was the second week for crying out loud!
Still, it wasn't the lines. The character he was playing was "uncomfortable" for him, sure, but deep down he knew what was holding him back.
But he couldn't very well say it when Roxas was standing right there. He had to come up with a different excuse for now. "I'm having a hard time getting into character. It's very different than what I'm used to and I'm not sure if I can handle having this part."
Sora all but mumbled this but his voice felt so loud in the silence that followed. Zexion sighed, setting his clipboard down. "Both of you, back to your seats. It seems I have to go through the trouble of explaining this production yet again."
Everyone groaned and Sora winced. Their teacher was both strict and long winded when it came to his lectures, especially when he felt slighted. Sora couldn't even be upset as Roxas shoved his shoulder into him on their way back to their seats. It wasn't hard enough to knock him down or draw much attention, but the heat was unmistakable.
Still, Sora knew if he had said what really bothered him he'd be dealing with more than a shove. So he sat down stiffly and waited to be chewed out.
But of course, everyone had to endure a few minutes of uncomfortable silence and nervous coughing before Zexion actually started speaking. "Now, I don't expect all of you to agree with the parts I assign. I don't even expect you to like any of it. But you all have important roles to play, and as for our actors…"
He made a point of stepping out from behind his desk, marking the board before continuing, "the success rate of any Well to do actor is a mere 7%. There will be countless rejections and countless times when you are faced with taking up a job you have no desire in whatsoever. But a great actor is able to compromise and play anything within reason."
Sora couldn't help but flinch as Zexion focused his gaze on him. But he was surprised by the genuine tone to his voice. It wasn't kind per say, just direct, and it cut right into his heart when he asked, "So tell us, Sora? Are there any boundaries being crossed for you personally?"
"I… no, sir. I… I'm not entirely sure why I'm struggling so much." It was a lame finish but Sora was having a hard time coming up with excuses.
Zexion sighed, turning away, writing more on the board, the press of his marker very loud and ever present as the class became eerily quiet. "You have a lot of potential, Sora. Generally, you play background roles but I know you have what it takes for this part. Ultimately, it's up to you whether you want to take this job opportunity seriously or not. Next week will be the end of the warm-up stage of this production. All character swaps and changes can be arranged then."
"But I hope you take this moment to challenge yourself and work around this goal. During the production there will be many producers and directors visiting the campus. I've tried my best to create opportunities for those of you serious about this to have a moment to shine. But, if you feel differently Sora, that's fine. Just know that if you continue to let opportunities like this slide, you will never make it far as an actor."
He set his marker to the side, allowing the class to see the elaborate timeline they could look forward to completing over the next few weeks. He gave Sora a no-nonsense smile, but the skin around his eyes tightened. "I do hope you have a few backup plans in place, Sora. Perhaps this should only be a hobby. Nevertheless, if you insult my class again with half baked excuses and little to no effort you will be written up. Understood?"
Sora nodded so fast he could have sworn his jaw had broken with how hard he hit his desk. The snickers bore down into his back and he inwardly shot himself. Being heavy-handed was a curse. "Yeah, it won't happen again." The bell couldn't ring fast enough.
At least he hasn't kicked me out.
This thought did little to cheer him up, as he could feel the disappointment sifting in the air. Especially from directly behind him followed by the heat of a thousand exploding suns.
On second thought, maybe he is. He had to move my seat this close to Mr. Temper Tantrum.
The rest of the class went smoothly enough with Zexion turning things over to costume design and the tech crew. As Sora listened and watched as various sewing geniuses presented on different designs he thought again of how outclassed he was.
He loved performing, loved the arts, but this semester was making him question it all. He was at Twilight Academy after all, an expensive private school that required multiple recommendations, auditions, and most of all, luck to enter.
But it would be a lie to say he hadn't found himself doubting his position over the year.
You can do this. First year was great, wasn't it? You'll be fine.
He tried to repeat this to himself as he headed towards his locker but even his inner voice sagged in sync with his sliding steps as he started messing with the padlock. Each semester it had to be changed and Sora was still grappling with the combination. Another embarrassment for a long day.
Stop overreacting? This character should be easy to play! Come on!
Sora punched the locker, groaning. Right, too easy. It was the easiest role, the one most like him of all the parts he'd been assigned.
But Sora didn't love acting for roles like these. He acted to be completely different from himself! Sure, every character had something similar, but this role was hitting too close to home. Not to mention his co star was…
No, not here. He couldn't vent like this here. Not ever. Slowly, he closed his eyes, meditating silently and counted to ten. He waited for his heart to settle until all signs of a struggle and frustration could be drained from his muscles.
In the brief moment of contentment he found his combination. He gently worked with the padlock, sliding the mechanism into the correct digits before giving a rough tug.
It opened swiftly and he quickly shoved in his textbooks, unpacking in record time before slamming his locker closed. He sighed in content, truly calm for the first time of that entire day. Then he turned.
~~~~Method~~~~~
Roxas blinked, watching in amusement as his co star jumped a foot in the air. "Oblivious as usual, though that's no surprise. You should pay attention. You'd take less beatings that way."
The brunet's face soured in a way that Roxas, admittedly, enjoyed a little too much. Making people nervous was half the reason he could tolerate school. But some people just made it too easy. "Still having trouble with the locks?"
Mortified, Sora turned around and stiffly jutted towards the exit. The boy was still shaking. Roxas could tell the moment the other had realized they were the only students left on campus because he started moving faster.
The reaction was almost enough to make the ten minute wait time worth it. Still, how could anyone be that dense? This might be easier than I thought. With a mischievous smirk he followed from behind the anxious pool of energy. It took three minutes this time to be noticed.
"Hey, quit following me!" Sora all but squeaked, looking this way and that. "Dude, what do you want? I apologized."
"Oh? You mean when you mumbled in my direction while staring at the floor before tripping into the waste bucket? Yeah, I remember." He chuckled. "Mind you, most of the class was gone so barely anyone got to see it. For shame if you actually thought it meant something."
Sora didn't stop moving but his voice had changed. It was hard to make out, but Roxas could almost hear the deeper register that breached the surface past the usual high intonation. "Could you back off? I really can't talk right now."
"Fine, I'll just keep following in silence then. No problem." Come on, show me already. Quit hiding. From the back it was possible to see the redness on the boy's neck. He had to be worked up enough to drop the act, surely.
It was making Roxas antsy. He was rather proud of his ability to read people and sway them this way and that. He always won in emotional chess. But he didn't expect Sora to so stubbornly fight back.
If he hadn't designed the special role specifically for Sora himself he would have been jealous. But oddly he wasn't.
Not to say that he was happy with the situation. He had designed the role under the guise that Sora would be playing off of Riku. The teacher had told him of the role he was thinking of for Riku, and the fact that Riku was best friends with Roxas' current target didn't escape him.
For once Roxas thought he would finally get a break this semester. He had wanted a small role. But then Zexion had to back stab him and give him the part. Hence the situation he was in. He hated it with a special passion reserved for things meant to be tortured within an inch of death, but damn if he wasn't going to give his all. Not when recruiters, agents, and directors would witness their final performance.
Hence, his plan to get under his co star's skin and force him to comply. Sora quitting was not an option.
Deep in thought, and pondering what could finally get through to his new rival, Roxas slammed into Sora from behind. Feeling a blush of his own rise up, he quickly stepped back.
Sora still wasn't moving and it was actually starting to freak him out a tad. He laughed again and shoved any signs of submission down where they belonged. "Don't tell me I broke you already, Sora."
All he got was a turn and a look. Sora's expression was mostly blank, and his blush hadn't disappeared completely, but his eyes spoke volumes. There was exhaustion there above all, but there was no mistaking the ominous atmosphere.
Something in his eyes, know his whole frame, was begging for release. Roxas waited patiently for the fist. He recognized the tension in the air, the electricity that came with a challenge. The energy coming off of Sora was something that he had never seen from him.
So imagine Roxas' disappointment when that all was snapped away with the flicker of a changed expression. Something shifted, and the person standing in front of him was now the timid, quivering costar who was supposed to play a role built to be the teen's natural opposite.
What… just happened?
Sora interrupted his thoughts with a small, yet defeated, "...what do you want?" His shoulders sagged a little and he hugged himself.
"I want you to take this seriously, Sora. I can tell you're not trying, that much is obvious. So…" He gets closer, jabbing a finger into a shaking chest as he emphasized his next words, "Clearly you're hopeless without my help. I'm following you so I can see where you live. We're going to be practicing a lot together from now, so I figured better to nip this really quick."
"Then… shouldn't you have just asked for my address?" Sora turned as he stated this, walking faster again.
Roxas rolled his eyes. "Sure, but would that have annoyed you? Not as much." He tilts his head as the teen groaned in front of him. "Hey, if you want me out of your hair, tell me to go. Force me to leave you alone."
Sora huffed, still walking, "I already tried that. It seems like nothing I say will stop you from getting what you want."
"No, you didn't. You just whined and ran away. Very far from what your character would do. That's part of the problem." Roxas stopped as Sora stopped. He raised an eyebrow. Huh, will he actually stand his ground now?
Instead, the other turned to face him, gesturing towards a simple white home to the left of them with an idyllic yard and fence in front to boot. Simple, polite, and boring. A fitting place to describe the skittish actor. "I'm here. This one," Sora said. He swallowed. "Are you saying this was some type of test?"
"Hmmm, yep. And you failed spectacularly." Roxas shrugged, staring at the house more closely. "That's okay though. We'll just have to see how you do tomorrow now, won't we?"
Before there could be any arguments hefted his way, Roxas left. It wasn't quite dark yet, but as it became harder to see Roxas pondered the expression he drew out from Sora not too far back. The exhaustion quickly followed by rage and something else in those vivid blue eyes.
The mask had come up too soon for Roxas to analyze what that expression meant. But it was a start. At any rate, it was closer to the bold knight Sora would be playing over whatever shit he had pulled in class. Just remembering the too quiet delivery and submissive body language rolling off the brunet made Roxas' shudder.
There was a lot of work to be done. His methods were intense and not for the faint of heart. But Roxas was a professional. For as long as he knew he had always wanted to act. Like him or hate him, his social play and emotional manipulation brought results. Everyone who had ever worked opposite with him agreed. From late elementary to now he had not only awed his audience in good plays but had enhanced everyone's acting surrounding him as well.
Sora would see to reason too. Just like all the others. It didn't really matter to him either way how Sora faired by the end of the experience. He just wanted to bring out a good performance.
And for Roxas that's what came first. Outside of that he didn't particularly care much for anyone's feelings or relations after the show was over. Hell, he barely liked people period.
None of it mattered. He could go on pretending as much as he'd like. He had accepted his ability as background puppeteer and nothing more. Because in the end, no would ever make him feel the way he wanted. And Roxas had decided long ago to never dwell on the disappointment people always bring.
As he approached the crowded, towering apartment complex full of people he despised Roxas sat quietly in himself content with the decisions he'd made.
It was a good thing he was so good at pretending.
~~~~method~~~~
Well, that was a disaster.
First the backpack was funneled in a throw that sent it in a messy heap by the laundry basket. He then proceeded to flop onto his bed and scream his sorrows into a sea of fluff.
In short, Sora was fudged. He didn't know how it was possible but he had somehow turned a veering on intolerable situation into a full fledged nightmare that would please every one of his inner demons.
The creature known as Roxas was now on his ass and from the vague stories and regimens he'd heard from the snippets of his classmates he knew true pain was ahead.
Most of Sora's roles in the class previously had never been large enough to warrant this much attention, but now? As a co-lead?
Sora swung around and in frustration started beating his pillow. He tried imagining Roxas' face over the pillow, but that did nothing to quell his anxiety. No way would the star pupil want to ease Sora into his role. Now he had a bunch of mind games to look forward to.
And then his true nature would slip out. It was almost enough to make him cry. But he swallowed it and let out one last punch. Then he slowly took out a notebook and wrote down a few goals and one single promise.
There's only one way to survive this. Remember Riku. Remember the incident. Never show the "monster."
He traced the last word slowly, then placed the journal into his drawer and locked it. He had covered it up this long. There was no way anyone, not even Roxas, could pry this secret out.
The games had begun and Sora's mask was on the ready. Unfortunately for him, it was doomed to crack and the pieces that fell would never connect the same way ever again.