Summary: "Star-crossed lovers - a couple whose relationship is doomed to fail. Love was never their problem, but they'd always had a feeling that even the universe was conspiring against them. If only they had listened."

Author's note: I was asked by a reader to write more Roswell fanfiction. I don't think this is what she meant.

This was inspired by a sentence in the first episode, but when I went to check it so I could write it down verbatim it wasn't there…. So this is inspired by the sentence that wasn't there.

xx

Disclaimer: I don't own anything recognizable herein and I have no intention of profiting on my writing.

Beta: GeezerWench

Pre-Reader: Mariejeanne26

Slashpert: Epsynus

Warning

Don't ask, Don't tell

Alex Manes watched Michael look around the room curiously and wondered what he was thinking. He tried picturing it through someone else's eyes, but all Alex could see was the room he had slept in for as long as he could remember. The same wallpaper—green with little yellow flowers—covered the walls, and the drapes were the same ones his mother put up when they moved into the house fifteen years ago, but the color had faded to almost white from years in the New Mexican sunlight. The thin fabric was almost see-through from the weekly washes.

There had once been a matching carpet, but that had been thrown out when he landed headfirst into the the dresser after a game of run-and-slide. He'd had to have five stitches, and still had a long scar about two inches above his left eyebrow.

He looked around the room again, trying to see what Michael saw.

Gone were the posters and pictures that covered most of his walls. The many sci-fi novels that had put such strain on the nails holding up the bookcase were now collecting dust in the attic. The clothes neatly put away in the closet and the dresser, and since the graduation three weeks ago, there were no school books weighing down the desk next to the window. The ancient computer and monitor had been stowed away to be taken to the junkyard. The only thing that didn't seem to fit in with the rest was the half-packed hunter green duffel by the door. The haphazardly stacked manga comics he'd kept on top of the nightstand had been donated to the used book store, and the skateboard he'd used to get wherever he needed to go had been picked up with the trash that morning.

He realized, while watching Michael, that maybe it didn't look the same after all.

Michael Guerin hadn't been in Alex's house since Junior High and he looked around the bedroom with interest. A lot had changed over the years. Most noticeable was the absent skateboard. He smiled wistfully, realizing he missed it. His smile fell and his jaw tightened, studiously ignoring the little voice inside his head reminding him that it wasn't the only thing he would miss.

Michael let his gaze circle the room a couple more times. He knew he had to stop avoiding the inevitable—he could only put it off for so long. He just wasn't ready to face Alex yet, not counting the quick glance when he'd been let inside the house. Michael figured he would run into Alex again when they were both back in Roswell, probably during the holidays, but he thought he'd have months before that happened. If he had been lucky, maybe even a year or two. But seeing Alex again so soon… Michael wasn't prepared for it.

Michael took a deep, steadying breath and the smell of WD40, Lux bar soap, and french fries immediately filled his nose. One by one, they brought up memories he'd rather forget, but together they would always remind him of times he'd be better off forgetting.

Nostalgia was a bitch.

Michael could feel the heat coming from Alex's body. He put a cocky half-smirk in place and turned around to face him and was startled by exactly how close he was standing. Close enough to see the specks of light copper in Alex's dark brown irises, close enough to breathe the same air. The silence stretched out between them until it felt as if it had taken on a life of its own. It kept growing until Michael couldn't take it anymore and just blurted out the first thing that came to mind. "What happened to your skateboard?"

If the question took Alex by surprise, he hid it well. Still, he took his time answering, as if he had to think about it. "My dad threw it out," he said and shrugged as if it wasn't a big deal. "He said I wouldn't need it once I get to Kirtland, and he's right. I'll be too busy with BMT to have time for childish games."

Michael scoffed. "That sounds like something he would say." Even worse was, Alex sounded just like his father. Whenever he had in the past, it had always been to make fun of him, but Michael had a feeling Alex wasn't trying to be funny this time.

Alex's brows drew together and Michael noticed a larger vein in the middle of Alex's forehead about an inch up and to the right of the deep furrow that had been a permanent fixture the last couple of months. That hadn't been there three weeks ago. Mr Manes had one just like it, they used to call it the 'pain vein' behind his back. Whenever it appeared in the middle of his forehead they knew they'd be in for a world of hurt. He'd be proud to know his son took after him in that department.

Michael pushed a hand through his unruly curls. He looked at the boy—man—in front of him and wondered how someone could change so much in three short weeks. The thing that pained him the most was Alex's new haircut. If Michael were to name his ten favorite moments, there wasn't one that didn't involve him toying with the ends of Alex's hair. If he thought hard enough, consciously or not, he could almost feel the silky strands in his hands. He clenched his fist until his knuckles ached while fighting against the memory and silently mourned the loss. "You cut your hair."

Alex ran a hand over his shortly cropped hair. He still wasn't used to it, but he would be… eventually. His father had done it. His grandfather, and his father before that—joining the Airforce was a tradition among the Manes men. Alex had grown up knowing it would be his turn as soon as he graduated from high school. He'd just let himself forget it. "I had to grow up sometime."

Alex didn't say anything about Michael's hair being a little too long, or the curl that always fell into his eyes, and he didn't point out that they both had to grow up sometime, but it was there in the tone of his voice.

Michael put the tip of his middle finger to the outside edge of his right eyebrow. "Sir, no, sir." He said it lazily, mockingly with the smirk firmly in place.

He regretted his actions when Alex's expression hardened. "Does the macho cowboy swagger thing ever get old?"

Michael gritted his teeth and instead of answering he turned the question around on Alex. "When did it get old for you?"

Something dark flashed in Alex's eyes, and Michael didn't have to stand in front of a mirror to know the same feeling reflected in his own hazel gaze. Michael was the first to look away. With a weary sigh he gripped the base of his neck, his shoulders slumped slightly. "Well, this is…" he hesitated, carefully choosing his words, "fun … if you like having your teeth pulled. Since I don't, I'm just gonna go."

He turned to leave but before he could get as far as the door Alex grabbed his wrist, pulling him to a stop. Michael hissed a curse through clenched teeth and tugged on his arm to tear it out of Alex's hand, but it only caused the sleeve of his dark blue shirt to ride up.

Time stood still and the room became suspended in silence until Michael let out a shaky breath. While he stared, wide-eyed, at the hand holding his, Michael remembered a time when just the thought of holding Alex's hand had made his heart beat faster. He had been so embarrassed by how quickly his body reacted to the lightest of touches.

Some things never changed.

Goosebumps covered his arms as Alex felt Michael's pulse rush beneath his fingers. Without thinking, Alex let his hand slide down Michael's palm, but caught himself in time, and pulled away as if the contact burned him.

Seeing his reaction, Michael's face fell ever so slightly, it only lasted for a fraction of a second, but long enough for Alex to have noticed if he hadn't been looking anywhere but at him. Michael's mouth set in a hard, thin line, his nostrils flaring and eyes flashing with an anger he didn't bother to hide. "Why did you call me?"

Alex stiffened and opened and closed his mouth several times. "Honestly? I didn't think you'd answer." He chuckled darkly. "After last time, I figured you just let me go to voicemail and I could leave a message, and…"

"But I answered." It wasn't a question, nor was it posed as one, but it demanded an answer.

"Yes."

"You never planned to invite me over, did you?" Whenever they gotten together it had always been in the trailer he lived in with Hank. Never in public, and never in the Manes' house.

Alex raised his chin stubbornly. "No, but…"

Michael sighed. "That's great Alex, just great." He rubbed his his jaw that was prickling with a scruff it didn't feel all that long ago since he started growing. Still, he felt old. Tired. "Well, I'm here now, so you might as well give it to me."

Alex raised a hand almost reflexively towards Michael, as if to smooth away the pained lines surrounding his eyes, but let it fall in the open space between them.

Michael rolled his eyes, biting back on his own body's reaction by snapping, "The message."

Alex just looked at Michael with unease written all over him. "Come on, don't—"

"What, you don't want to say it to my face?" Michael pursed his lips for a moment. "I know, I'll just turn around, that way you don't have to look at me." He did as said then waited for a beat. "Still nothing? How about now," he spoke in a vaguely robotic voice, oddly similar to an old answering machine. "You've reached Michael Guerins voicemail..."

Alex glared at Michael's back. "You're acting like an idiot."

"...He can't come to the phone right now…"

"Michael, please..."

Michael heard his voice rising but couldn't do anything to stop it,"...'cause he's busy fu…"

"Will you stop?"

"Beeeep"

Alex hung his head, something aching to desperation burned in his eyes. "God Michael, what do you want?"

Michael spun on his heel so he was facing Alex, then he took a step, then one more, and another one until they stood close enough to touch. "'It doesn't matter what we want, we're not kids anymore.'" His voice had lost his robotic quality and was as rough as sandpaper. "Wasn't that what you said when you broke up with me?"

"We were never really together." Alex swallowed thickly, as if the lie was hard to get out.

Michael's head flew to the right as if he had been slapped. His smirk became strained. "That's right, Air Force Dad wouldn't have liked that."

No, Michael thought to himself. Jesse Manes, the all-powerful Master Sergeant of the U.S Air Force hated Michael's guts. He was convinced that he was wasting his life away and had been worried that he would 'drag Alex down with him' since fifth grade. If he knew what Michael had done with his son behind closed doors… Michael had counted his lucky stars more than once, and for a number of different reasons, that he didn't.

Alex grabbed Michael's wrist again, only this time he didn't stop but continued until he could wrap his fingers around Michael's. Alex began breathing faster and heat filled his chest.

They hadn't been that close in weeks, not since before graduation. He reached until he could twist their fingers together. Alex gave Michael's hand a little squeeze, then he held his breath and waited until he felt Michael squeeze back. The tightness in his chest loosened, and for the first time in weeks, it felt as if he could finally breathe. That didn't explain his shortness of breath, and yet it did. "I thought you'd left."

"What?" Michael asked, confused by the seemingly random comment.

"I thought you already left Roswell; that's why I hadn't planned for you to come over," Alex explained a little sheepishly. "It wasn't about not wanting you here."

Michael nodded. He didn't know what to say so he settled for a simple, "That's good."

"When you answered and I found out you were still here… I just had to see you again." Alex brushed his thumb along Michael's.

Michael's smirk had returned and was finally reaching his eyes. "I'm glad."

"It was stupid," Alex continued his ramblings. "I know."

Michael hummed noncommittally, thinking stupid wasn't the word he would use.

"But I just figured I'd get to listen to your voice on the voice mail, say my goodbyes after the beep, and then I'd be done."

An eternity, made up of nano-and milliseconds, stretched out between them before Michael dared ask, "Well, are you?"

Alex frowned. "Am I what?"

"Done with me?"

Alex laughed quietly, it wasn't a happy sound. "I don't think I'll ever be done with you."

He cupped Michael's face between hands that weren't completely steady and leaned forward so he could rest his forehead against Michael's. His eyes fluttered closed and they both exhaled in relief. For a moment it was enough.

Alex was the one who broke the comfortable silence. "I'm leaving tomorrow."

Michael made a moue of disappointment. "So soon?"

"I know." Alex sounded as chagrined as he felt. "I have to sign in for active duty the next day, and then we ship out for basic training in a week. You?"

Michael had worked his ass off in school and been rewarded a full ride to UOPX. He had known he wanted to leave Roswell for years. Nothing and no one he cared about would stick around after graduation so there was no reason for him to do it either, and he had been right.

Alex was following in his dad's footsteps, Max would go wherever Liz Ortecho was going, and Iz had already left. She had graduated early and already been away at St. John's in Santa Fe for a whole year. "They're letting me move into the dorms early, just three more weeks and then I'm out of here." The 'for good' was left unsaid.

Alex sighed forlornly. "So we only have today?"

"Guess so," Michael mumbled, distracted by Alex mouth and the way it shaped the words he spoke.

Alex's eyes flashed open, "Let's make it count." He wet his lips before pressing them to Michael's in a soft kiss.

Michael's heart thundered inside of his chest. "What about your dad?" he asked, any restraint he might've had melting away like butter.

"He's out and won't be back until later." The second kiss was firmer and lasted just a little bit longer.

"How much later?"

Alex smiled against Michael's lips. "Much, much later."

He crushed his mouth Michael's and pressed up against him as close as he could get. But no matter how close they got, it wasn't enough. The kiss was desperate, as if they tried to fit the first and the last, and every other kiss in between, into one. Sloppy, wet kisses. Messy, wild, biting kisses. All gnashing teeth and sucking lips. Alex backed him up against the wall and pushed his growing cock into Michael's stomach. "God, I missed this," he growled.

Michael parted his lips to agree and Alex took that opportunity to deepen the kiss. He stroked Alex's tongue with his, circled it, before sucking the tip in between his lips and flicking it with the tip of his. There was no fighting for dominance, both gave as much as they took.

Alex rocked his body to the same rhythm as he thrust his tongue in Michael's mouth.

There were too many clothes in the way. They continued kissing while trying to undress each other. Fumbling with buttons took too long so Michael grabbed ahold of the lapels of Alex's shirt and pulled. Somewhere in the background, they could make out the faint ping, ping, ping as the buttons hit the floor.

Alex shrugged his black and white checkered flannel off his shoulders and pulled his arm out of the sleeves then grabbed the back of his grey t-shirt and pulled it over his head. A light dusting of hair covered his chest, a chest that looked both bigger and wider than Michael remembered it. It felt bigger, too, something he noticed when he pressed himself against the length of Alex's body.

He started fumbling with the next set of buttons, but couldn't get past the top. Alex brushed away Michael's fingers, and impatiently popped the top button and pulled down the zipper. After he stepped out of the jeans he kicked them out of the way.

Michael reached down and cupped the bulge in the front of his black boxer briefs causing Alex to buck against him and grunt into his mouth.

At this point they were panting, unable to catch their breaths. Michael let go of Alex so he could take off his shirt, showing off a chest that had a sparse smattering of hair with a thicker patch of dark hair in the middle.

Alex helped Michael out of his jeans when his hands shook too much to do it himself. Alex smiled when he noticed Michael going commando, finding comfort that some things never changed. He palmed Michael's growing cock and felt him thickening in his hand. Michael shivered and goosebumps spread over his skin, matching the ones on Alex's arms.

Michael released a low, guttural groan and reached for Alex's long hair out of habit, but quickly remembered the loss and instead dug his blunt fingernails into Alex's back. Heat licked at his skin and he pushed his cock harder into Alex's hand.

Alex threw his head back, exposing his throat to Michael's fiery kisses. His scruff tickled Alex's neck and Alex tugged on his messy curls to pull him closer. Michael scraped his teeth against his neck, Alex cried out his name.

They stumbled blindly towards the bed still locked in a kiss. Only Alex's years of experience of fumbling in the darkness towards his bed when coming home in the middle of the night kept them from bumping into every other piece of furniture in the room.

The bed was made in true military style, complete with crisp hospital corners and tightly pulled covers. They fell together on top of it, Alex ending up on the bottom, but quickly rolled them around so they could switch places.

The sheets in Michael's bed hadn't been white in years and it didn't matter how many times he washed them, they still reeked of stale beer and cigarette smoke. These sheets carried the faint industrial smell from the detergent he and his father used, but mostly, Michael thought, they just smelled like Alex.

Alex smiled down at him and brushed away a stray curl that had fallen into his eyes. He peppered soft kisses to his lips, his cheeks, both of his eyelids. He drew whimsical patterns with the tip of his finger over the arch of one of Michael's eyebrows, down his closed lids to the crescent shadows underneath his eyes from his thick dark lashes, down his nose and to his lips. Michael poked out his tongue and licked the length of Alex finger then sucked it into his warm mouth. Their eyes locked.

Alex's gaze darkened. He lowered a hand between them and wrapped his fingers around both of their erections, Michael groaned around the finger. Alex rubbed their cocks together, jerking them slowly, just stopping with every other upward stroke to swipe his thumb over the heads. He cupped Michael's balls gently and rolled it between his fingers.

Michael rutted in his grip and tried humping Alex's hand to get him to speed up his movements but was only met with hoarse laughter.

Alex crawled down Michael's body so he could take his cock into his mouth, not once looking away from Michael's eyes. He tried relaxing his throat to be able to fit in as much as possible, but couldn't take more than three quarters before he gagged. He circled his fingers around the base and stroked it a few times, then hummed, making Michael tremble beneath him.

Michael spit out the finger in his mouth and let out a long groan, "Uuuuuhhhhh."

Alex grinned inwardly when he heard Michael. Every moan, groan and heavy breath went straight to his own cock. He loved how responsive he was.

Alex let the cock slowly slide out of his mouth, pausing at the mushroom head to give it a little nip with his lips. "I've missed your cock," Alex grunted. "Sucking it, tasting it, feeling it inside of me."

He used his tongue to play with the sensitive spot just underneath the head. "But tonight I want to be inside of you."

Alex swirled his tongue around the head of Michael's cock. He bobbed his head up and down, making sure to lick and suck on every inch he could reach. He flattened his tongue and traced the thick vein on the underside of the shaft.

Michael pushed himself up onto his elbows to get a better view of what Alex was doing. He looked at him through lowered lids and swiped his tongue across his bottom lip.

Alex sucked him back into his mouth and swallowed him down until he hit the back of his throat. He took his forefinger and circled the back opening gently, causing Michael to thrust upwards making Alex gag around the head of his cock.

"Ssssssorry," he hissed, bucking wildly.

Alex's cocked ached, and desperate for some friction of his own, he began humping the mattress. He fisted Michael's cock and licked up the shaft towards the head, then continued downwards until he reached the come-filled balls. Cupping the sac gently, he rolled them in the palm of his hand before sucking them, one at the time, into his warm, wet mouth. He gave them a little tug and continued farther back, licking the area behind the balls towards Michael's tight hole.

"Please," Michael whimpered.

"Take it easy," Alex teased, "there's time. We can do fast later."

"We can do slow later," Michael rasped. "I need you. Now."

Michael grabbed ahold of Alex's shoulder and pulled him up for a kiss, quickly deepening it.

Alex fumbled for the nightstand where he kept a bottle of lube and almost yanked out the whole drawer in his hurry.

He poured a generous amount on his middle and forefinger and placed them at his back passage. Michael parted his legs willingly, eagerly, so Alex could reach better. Alex teased the tight opening, drawing shivers from Michael before adding pressure to the muscle and pushing his middle finger into him, knuckle deep, followed shortly by his forefinger.

Michael writhed beneath him. "I'm ready, I'm ready," he moaned impatiently. "I want you inside of me. Please," he ended in a whimper.

Alex poured some more lube into his hand which he used to slick up his cock. He pressed one more kiss to Michael's kiss-swollen lips and got in place between his parted legs, positioning himself at Michael's back entrance. Alex squeezed Michael's hips, slowly adding pressure he watched the head of his cock disappear into Michael's ass. He sank into him slowly, letting him get reacquainted with his size.

Alex groaned throatily as he slid in to the hilt, a sound immediately echoed by Michael. He didn't move for what felt like an eternity, savoring the feel of finally being together after weeks apart.

Michael looked up into Alex's eyes and felt his heart swell. He clutched onto his biceps and reflected over again that Alex seemed to have bulked up since their last time before all coherent thoughts became impossible.

Alex pulled his cock almost all the way out, then slid back in, a little faster. He blanketed Michael with his body and crushed his lips to his in a bruising kiss. He pushed himself up onto his knees and thrust into him again. This time harder. Deeper. A thin sheen of sweat covered both of their bodies.

Michael placed his feet on the mattress to gain balance and arched his back to meet his thrusts. His thighs burned from the strain but he couldn't care less. All he wanted was to get closer. It wasn't their first time but they both knew it could be their last.

Alex slammed into Michael's ass, and his cock slapped against his abdomen with each hard thrust. It was exactly what they needed.

When Alex felt the familiar tightening of his abdomen much sooner than he hoped, he wrapped his fingers around Michael's erection and jerked his hand in time with pounding. Sweat dripped from his brow as he slammed his hips forward one last time, emptying himself deeply inside of Michael.

Michael was leaking precome, and Alex collected a few drops with his fingers and used it to more easily stroke up and down his length, taking extra care to rub the head with each passing. Alex tried going faster, then slower, but he could tell from Michael's strained expression that something was missing. It didn't take much for him to realize what it was. Alex made a face when he pulled out of Michael's ass, but ignored the sudden cold to insert two fingers into Michael's stretched opening where he quickly located the prostate.

Michael took over the stroking while Alex focused on rubbing the swollen gland and within moments, Michael erupted onto his stomach and Alex collapsed on top of him, both momentarily satisfied.

Basking in the afterglow of their lovemaking, Alex rested his head on Michael's chest, absentmindedly running his fingers through the damp curls. Their breathing slowed and their heartbeats returned to normal. It felt almost peaceful.

They lay close together and whispered loose promises to each other, that it wouldn't be the end, that they would meet up when they were home for breaks, that somehow they could make it work when a bright light suddenly flooded the room.

They both jerked upright, Alex arm out in front of Michael, as if to protect him from who stood in the now open door.

Jesse Manes looked at the two naked boys with cold eyes. Without a word he raised his arm and pointed the gun at the bed.

They looked at each other and with their eyes said everything there wasn't enough time to say. I'm sorry.

It's not your fault.

I love you.

I love you.

I love y..

The click when he cocked the hammer echoed loudly in the silence, but not as loud as the two shots that followed.

The End

Endnotes: I'm not even sorry.

Okay, maybe a little.

Honorable mentions and definitions

University of Phoenix

Kirtland Air Force Base

Basic Military Training

A world of hurt - Be in trouble, about to feel pain (probably psychological)