Not to sound too much like Philip Defranco but this has actually been one of the most requested stories I was asked to write as a side piece to my main story, and tbh I can understand he desire and the hype. I, myself, have been itching to write is so...well, LET'S JUST JUMP INTO IT! Okay, enough Philly D. talk lmao. Let's take a look at how Riley's first date with Jordan REALLY went. If you are stumbling upon this for the first time and have never read any of my other works, I highly recommend checking out Puberty Is One *BEEP* Of A Mess, as well as the sequel story High School Is A FxxxxxG Mess to better acquaint you with some of the OC's within this story and the struggles Riley will be dealing with here! Anyway, enjoy! And reviews and PM's are always welcomed with open arms.

"Like, I don't even know how to handle this, dad made it totally weird!" Green hair sways forward with her motions as Disgust dramatically drops her head onto the newly expanded control table, "And it's not even...really a date."

"I mean, it kind of is!" Joy is excited as ever to look on the bright side just as always! She's diligently observing the traffic and making sure it's safe to cross the street, "Jordan agreed to walk us and we've basically been flirting through text! And look how sweet he's being with her right now."

Fear is always the first to be skeptical about anything and everything. Let no stone be untouched without a hint of overthinking! As he's always saying, "Hmm...he does seem nice, but I dunno', Joy. I'm not sure I like this."

"Well, why not? He's a gentleman! Picked us up and everything!"

"Doesn't feel right. Somethings off."

"Off how?"

"Can't say. It's just off."

Anger is just about ready to start a fight himself, Fear brings out the worst in him sometimes, "You say that about EVERYTHING! You can't say it feels off if you don't even have a reason! That's so ridiculous."

But Disgust raises her head once more, observing the screen as Jordan steps into the sketchy park before Riley (a shortcut that leads to their destination), as if to play the role of the protector, "I might have to agree with Fear a little bit on this one." She'll fold her arms, eyes narrowing as she views the main screen intently, "...Something's not sitting right." And she is damn near determined to find out what it is.

"So, uhhh, you ever skateboard before?" Jordan keeps himself close to Riley, scanning from left to right to be certain they're left alone. Two kids crossing through a questionable location isn't necessarily a guaranteed safety move, perhaps on the way back an alternative route might be best...but then again if that's the case, how will he cozy up to her?

"Actually, no." She'll chuckle a little, "Carl told me you guys skateboard all the time even though he's not necessarily as die hard for it as you. And I've always wanted to learn! I can ice skate- and roller-blade a little. But that's about it. I'm excited to learn though!"

"Hey, I'm excited to teach you, Riley. Bet you're a natural."

'Oh no...the silence. It's...it's so awkward! I hate it!'

'That's only because YOU'RE nervous. You're making her feel weird!'

'So fill the silence make her say something!'

'Uh...uh...oh! Oh! I know!'

She perks up, just as they're exiting that questionable park, "So, I can't stop listening to the playlist you made me."

And Jordan's face, it lights up like a fully lit menorah in the dead of night. He's shameless in gazing at her as though he's found the answer to everything, "R-Really? Like...for real?" And now he feels as though he's tripping on his words! So much so that he- nearly bumps into a street sign pole. Awkward and uncomfortable. It's the curse that leads him to lose his balance, plopping backwards onto the ground.

Luckily for him, Riley laugh's, quickly offers her hand to raise him to his feet, "Gotta' pay attention to what's ahead of you, there, Jord. Otherwise I'll have no idea how to get to the skate park!"

'Aw, that was cute of him he's nervous!'

'I guess it was sweet...but he's not really cute.'

'I mean...he kind of is.'

And the moment their hands touch, he feels a heat surging through his entire being. She's so cute, and he is swooning. Without a word...without looking away, he slowly rises. Gives her a half smile.

'Ew, his hand is so clammy. This is gross!'

'He's just nervous it's fine this is just like the movies!'

'Definitely isn't. The way he's looking at us is annoying! This is stupid! I wanna' talk about music!'

'Let go of his hand first this is too much!'

'I told you guys something was off! I told you. This isn't anything like the movies!'

'Well they're twelve! It's not supposed to be like that!'

'How can you say that when you literally just said it's like the movies!?'

'...I-I don't know! She's never liked anyone before I have no idea what it REALLY feels like!'

'Just let go of his hand before I vomit!'

So quickly, on impulse she jerks away from his hand, "So, uh, I've already got some favorite artists off that playlist."

It takes him a good fifteen seconds to snap back to reality with a shake of his head, curls following suit underneath his hat, "O-Oh! Um, uhh...which are your favorites?"

In order to save the further chance of having to take hands with the grimy hand of hormonal challenged boy, she shoves both of hers into the pockets of her yellow bomber jacket, determined to keep them there for the remainder of the stroll, "Well, I really like Modern Baseball a lot! But I think The Frontbottoms might be my favorite. Night Gaunts is pretty cool too! And this one wasn't on your playlist but you recommended Tegan and Sara and so far I only listened to one song, but you know that from like, ten minutes ago, but I wanna' hear more of their stuff."

'Hey, maybe we should ask him more about his band and get to know him!'

'No way, Joy. Ugh, I'm clearly the only one who CARES about Riley's needs, so allow me to change the subject to something way more fitted to her needs right now.'

"So. Is it hard to find Tegan and Sara's older acoustic stuff?"

"Oh, not at all, man. All of their music including some of their unreleased songs are on spotify. You can find everything there including live performances."

"I'm definitely gonna' add everything when I get home!"

"Yeah, they're pretty cool." He'll rub the back of his neck, something strikes him to gauge the conversation to a slightly more...alternative route, "I think it's pretty awesome that they're into LGBT rights."

Somehow that strikes a chord within her as well, "...Honestly, me too. You know, my favorite movie is Rent. And they have a lot of gay characters, but I always wonder what a struggle that must be like. Especially back then."

And so he will test the waters of his potential inkling, "...Yeah, but it's a shame they're gay, because they're both pretty cute."

Riley's shoulders tense up tightly like worn out gears of a grandfather clock. Her pace is quickening as she steps a little ways past him, entering the skate park, "...If you like that sort of thing." She's already making a run for her group of friends that are spotted in the furthest corner of the park shouting their names jubilantly.

"I told you guys it wasn't just me!" Fear is waving his arms about in a rather frantic manor, "I know I tend to overthink- heck, even I know sometimes I can get carried away, but this is- this isn't some train of thought overload situation where it accidentally sends us too much of one order! This is...this is a gut feeling."

The other emotions gasp at the mention of a gut feeling. Because gut feelings mean all of two very important things: intuition and subconscious knowing. Perhaps there's something Riley even knows already that they don't yet! For all they know, that can explain the peculiar funk they all seem to be sensing. A feeling that not everyone would really like to admit to themselves. Or anyone else for that matter.

Disgust will calm the storm before it can even begin, "I still stand with Fear, like I said before. I think..." There has to be a logical explanation, "Okay, do you guys remember when Amanda was hyping Riley up a few weeks ago? Oh Jordan likes you! He's so cute! He's in a band! And then we started texting him and stuff?"

"Well yeah, of course." Joy begins, "We've been talking to Jordan for almost a year now, I'm pretty sure." Strictly as friends...up until recently.

"Right. but before Amanda said that, did any of you ever genuinely feel romantic feelings for Jordan?"

It takes a few moments of deep thought. But everyone is in agreement whether they say it aloud or not: no they did not.

"Riley's never had a boyfriend before." Disgust will rise from her seat only to cross the room, hands pressed to that cool glass staring at the perfectly functioning islands, "I don't think she likes Jordan like that. But Amanda is basically dating Carl at this point and she's never dated and I think she's just going with the motions because she thinks this is how it's supposed to be. Mostly because that's how Carl and Amanda happened." Because that's how it works, isn't it? When a boy likes you...you just...go with it.

"That's fucking stupid." Anger wastes no time.

"Language!" Fear will be spoken over.

But surprisingly? It's Sadness, who's practically been invisible this whole time that will interject, "If anyone cares to know, I'm with Anger on this one. This is stupid. If she doesn't have actual feelings for him, all she's doing is leading Jordan on. And while she isn't intending to hurt his feelings, this is gonna' hurt his feelings and then he might not want to be her friend anymore. And then Riley get's hurt too. Nobody wins."

"We're in too DEEP now! We can't fix this!" Fear is entering panic mode, "What do we do?!"

"Okay, okay, everybody just calm down!" Joy will raise her voice only a little in order to get the point across, "Her other friends are here too, so lets just take a deep breath, go with what's thrown at us to the best of our ability, learn to skate and have fun! We can...we can still salvage this. And maybe she'll end up liking him that way by the end of the day! You never know!" Because maybe that is how it works.

...Right?

"I seriously doubt that." Disgust scoffs as she takes a leisurely stroll back to her seat.

After all, no matter what her co-emotion thinks, it doesn't exactly work like that.

Surprisingly the day is incredibly...enjoyable! Carl and Jordan take turns showing her skate tricks while assisting her on her own board. Three hours in and Riley could swear she's a natural at this! It's so free flowing and easy! Much like ice skating! Certainly there are a few falls here and there, she doesn't quite have it down to a T just yet, but she's positive she can get there!

"Damn, Andersen, you're better than me!" Carl punches her arm playfully, "You're gonna' make me and Jordan look bad by next week."

"Don't hype me up, I'll loose my focus!" And as if on cue.

'Shit she's about to face plant!'

'Come on, goofball island, save us!'

Mid slip, she lands on the toes of her right foot, proceeding to attempt the worlds most horrendous looking Irish jig all as she concocts a poorly done brogue style accent, "Top o' the mornin' to ya' lads!"

Carl is hysterical, joining right along with her, "Jee-sus, Riley, are ya' loosin' yer' mind, ya' almoost gave me a fright!"

And even Jordan is laughing a long with them, "You're both idiots! But Riley's a cuter idiot."

Carl will feign the saddest look in the world as he drops to his knees, "Baby come back!"

Jordan, feeling a sudden burst of confidence will leap up from the bench, down on one knee in front of Carl, "You can blame it all on me!"

The laughter is contagious, turning into a fit of rambunctious guffaws. But Riley can hear her stomach growling underneath the goofing around, and her thirst is becoming real. A coke with extra ice is calling her name, "Yo, I'm gonna' get some chips and a soda from the snack bar! Anybody want anything?"

Jensen grins, opting to speak for her and Amanda who are mid gossip from the sidelines, "No thanks, girl. We're okay right now! And still working on these nachos."

Carl will hand her five bucks with a casual, "Get me some doritos and a water?"

"Yeah,no problem- what about you, Jordan?"

He's quick to set his board aside, fully prepared to join her, "I'll come with you. I'm not sure what I want, if anything at all."

"Cool, let's go." Once again, to be safe. She's placing her hands into her pockets.

'Disgust! Why are you having her keep her hands in her pocket?! Clearly he wants to hold her hand, you can tell.'

She strategically observes her friend from the corner of her gaze, though something within her is refusing to allow her to make proper eye contact with him. And so she only looks forward, doesn't utter a single word.

'Because she doesn't WANT to, Joy!'

'Are you saying you know better what Riley wants over me? You're making an executive decision without consulting any of us!'

'She doesn't like him like that!'

'But she can learn to!'

"Sooo, Riley, y'think you'll come to the skate park with all of us more often?" And he is standing close enough that their arms are grazing against one another as they walk.

'You sound like a crazy person, Joy! You can't force her to like somebody! It doesn't work like that!'

'Well you're not even giving her the chance to TRY and like him! You're acting like a selfish dictator! I want her happy and I want her to find true love!'

And even still, she rejects the chance to look at him, "Yeah, I think so. I think I like it. So I want all the practice I can get."

'Would you shut up?! Just trust me, she doesn't wanna' hold his hand and I'm not about to make her do something she doesn't want to do! I'm looking OUT for her!'

"Well I'm happy to help you keep at it, Riley." He is so entirely fixated on her. A true definition of a lovesick boy.

"I appreciate it, Jordan." And she will stand beside him in that snack line, posture stone cold, feelings becoming...jumbled and difficult. The air itself just suddenly feels...so awkward.

'Guys come on, please stop fighting. You're making me sad.'

'This isn't going to fix anything! You two are making me anxious!'

'Then tell Joy to step off her high horse!'

"Hey, uh, if it's okay to say..." His cheeks are bright red as he stares at his sneakers nervously, "Y-you look really pretty today."

'No! I refuse when you're opting to make choices for everyone else without our help!'

And Riley will tuck a bit of hair behind her ear with a breathy, unnerved laugh, "Um, thanks Jordan. That's nice of you to say." Something is...weird here. Her brain is a mess, she doesn't know what she's feeling. It's almost as though her emotions are fighting with her heart. And she's certain she doesn't like this sudden...confusion.

'Guys! You need to pay attention! Somethings happening!'

'Give me the main controls, Disgust!'

Jordan, very bravely, will place a hand onto her shoulder.

'Fine! You wanna' make her do something against her will? Then HERE!' Two pairs of hands- a mixture of green and yellow are battling for dominance.

And effortlessly he's leaning in. Lashes batting. And when he closes his eyes...

'Oh my god...he's about to kiss her!' Every emotion sits there, hands releasing all buttons. They have absolutely no clue what to do. Because there's something they're all subconsciously feeling. It's as simple as this: none of them want to do anything. And they can't figure out why.

Riley leans back just a smidge head turned slightly. And then their lips meet. She blinks erratically before she'll close her eyes. And she waits. For the spark. For the jolt in her heart. For that pang of excitement and warmth. And when he draws back. She...stares blankly.

"...I-I'm sorry. Was that...okay?" He's anxious as ever. He can see it in her eyes, she's not as...thrilled as he would have liked her to be, "I, um...never kisses anybody before."

The internal panic sets in, "Um. I just realized- I totally forgot. My mom said we're going out to dinner tonight to celebrate my dad's promotion." She is backing away without even thinking straight. Without even taking her skateboard, "I-I'm really sorry, Jordan- I have to go!" Her feet surely won't fail her now as she dashes off home, jolting awfully fast.

Enough so that she'll barely catch Carl as he shouts, "Yo where's my five dollars?! You owe me!"

Every emotion sits in that deafening silence. They haven't a clue of what to do. But Joy will start, "...Huh. Well, that was kinda' weird. In the movies they talk about how exciting first kisses are. And...I didn't even know what to do so I just didn't do anything and then...nothing happened."

Anger nods, "Me too. Something made me feel like I shouldn't push any of the controls. It was like...all of the sudden I got really confused. I felt out of place."

"Me too." Sadness and Fear will say that in unison.

Disgust sits with folded arms, prepared to be only slightly passive aggressive, "This. This is why you guys should have listened to me!" She's speaking with more passion than they've ever heard from her in quite some time, "You think I was acting like some power hungry tyrant, but I wasn't! Even Fear said he had a gut feeling. And I wasn't about to dismiss a gut feeling! She doesn't like him that way and she didn't want to hold his hand! God the very idea of Jordan touching Riley like that- all lovey dovey and sweet like a boyfriend it just...it just...!"

Finally, Joy is allowing her to express her thoughts without a rebuttal to spare, "...Just what, Disgust?"

Once again the green beauty is rising from her seat. And those folded arms instead, opt to rub her shoulders. Her face softens, appearing more somber than anything as she gazes at the ground, back turned away from everyone, "...It makes my skin crawl, Joy. She doesn't like boys."

"Well, that's okay, Disgust." And Joy will join her co-emotion wrapping her arms around her, "So we over-estimated her hormones. Puberty is still brand new for us all. So we thought she was ready to date boys, obviously she's not mature enough yet and that's okay. She will be one day. And we'll be patient with her about it. We won't force any boys on her. No dating them until she's ready."

"No, listen to me, Joy, you're not understanding-"

But now Fear is interjecting as well, "Whew! I'm kind of relieved! I'm not ready for Riley to put her heart on the line just yet. I don't want her to have to deal with a boy breaking her heart, I'm not sure I can handle that! Statistically relationships at this young an age never last! Way too soon for sure."

"Guys, it's not that-"

Joy is smiling now, "And who knows! Maybe in the future we will be ready to date Jordan! And then everything will be just like the movies!"

"A-men to that, Joy!" Fear is surprisingly confident, "Now let's all bring it in for a group hug."

And every emotion will surround Disgust in an attempt to cheer her up to the best of their ability.

But Disgust will sigh. They're not understanding and they're refusing to listen. Maybe she's ready for certain personal truths...but perhaps the rest of Riley's emotions aren't just yet. What can she do? She'll change the subject, "You guys put up with me a lot today...so how about later today I take dream duty?"

"You sure, Disgust?"

"Absolutely. I can handle it."

It's 1:45 in the morning and Riley tosses and turns in her bed. Sleep just doesn't seen to be happening. The kiss replays in her mind. Over and over relentlessly so. And the more she visualizes, the more she feels...sickened by it? How...complicating. What's worse is the fact that she isn't the least bit tired. And so she will reach for her laptop instead. Better to be distracted, after all. Maybe she can even seek out some second opinions.

Riley Anderson has added Amanda Elizabeth to the group chat.

Riley Andersen has added Jensen Marie to the group chat.

Riley Andersen has renamed the group chat SOS!

[Amanda]: Whats up girlie? Its so late!

[Jensen]: I was in the middle of Fuller House! Better be good :P

[Riley]: It's about Jordan

[Jensen]: Is that why u left early and abruptly?

[Amanda]: I was wondering about that! You ok?

[Riley]: He kissed me...

[Amanda]: OMG! OMG OMG!

[Jensen]: ! TELL US EVERYTHING! WAS IT SO AMAZING!

[Amanda]: I TOLD YOU HE LIKED YOU!

[Amanda]: This reminds me of my first kiss with Carl...it was soooo exciting my stomach was flipping! I hope he asks me to be his gf soon!

[Jensen]: Enough of that Amanda let Riley talk! lol

[Amanda]: Oh yeah sorry Riley! So tell us everything!

[Riley]: I'm wondering if I did it wrong or something?

[Jensen]: ? I don't think there's a wrong way unless there was tongue involved and you're not sure u did it right? ;)

[Riley]: Omg no way! No tongue at all! It was just a regular kiss.

[Amanda]: Then I DOUBT you did it wrong...why do you think you did it wrong?

[Riley]: It wasn't at ALL like the movies

[Riley]: Like...i didn't feel anything

[Riley]: No spark...no excitement...i didn't feel anything at all

[Jensen]: like...nothing at all?

[Riley]: ...Nope :/

[Amanda]: Don't be sad! :( besides its not always like in movies you won't just ALWAYS feel something

[Jensen]: Yeah she's right! Like sometimes you don't feel like nervous or zippy or whatever

[Amanda]: Yeah what jensen said! like sometimes you don't feel anything but it...feels right if that makes sense?

[Jensen]: Yea exactly! You'll just feel right like you're supposed to be doing that! So don't sweat it Riley.

But that's just it...

'That's just it, Girls. We didn't- ugh.'

[Riley]: Yeah maybe I'm overthinking it. I'm gonna go to bed.

[Riley]: Night guys...ily

[Amanda]: I love you too sweetie! Sleep well!

[Jensen]: Sweet dreams Riley!

Their are a plethora of feelings all over the place within her stomach. But more than anything she's feeling so completely bewildered. And she's agitated as ever over it. There's a moment of defeat. She decides not to think about it anymore and instead decides to browse Tumblr aimlessly while listening to music. Tegan and Sara,on shuffle and a new song she's never heard before begins to play: Dark Come Soon.

Dark, you can't come soon enough for me.
Saved, from one more day of misery.

And it hits her. Intense and furiously. Right there on her dashboard is a gifset. The caption reads: Favorite Lesbian Cinema Moments [ 2 / ? ] Cat Skin: The First Kiss Scene. Two beautiful girls sit beside each other. They kiss, soft and sweet and nervous. And so quickly it progresses to more. It becomes heated. Intense, the girl with the shorter hair is towering over the other drawing them close together. Her shirt is removed...

Riley will gasp, innocently and anticipated.

Everyone I love,
I need you now.

Disgust is in...disbelief, 'I knew it.' This will be the first time it's spoken aloud. For only her to hear, 'She's...a lesbian.'

Her body tenses once again, only this time, it's over the heat of attraction. The Heat of excitement. The heat of connection...the heat of uncertainty and certainty all in one moment. Her eyes cannot look away from the screen. The images repeat and repeat and she feels an awakening of so many things. An arousal of hormones. This is the answer to everything.

So what, I lied I lied to me too.
(So what?)
So what, I lied I lied to me too.

And Riley Andersen is...

She slams the laptop shut, uncomfortable and disgusted with herself, "No." She'll bite the inside of her cheek, arms wrapped around herself, nails digging into bare shoulders, "Absolutely not. No."

So what, I lied I lied to me too.
(So what?)
So what, I lied I lied to me too.

"...Just forget it." She starts, "Just forget it."

[Text: Jordan]: Hey! Is everything okay? I was so worried about you. Maybe we can talk soon?

So what, I lied I lied to me too.
(So what?)
So what, I lied I lied to me too.

[Text: Jordan]: I really like you Riley.

"Just forget it," Watery eyes of guilt and discomfort turn the stomach acid to a toxic bitterness of uneasy feelings, "Just forget it, just forget it!" The crying is relentless but not entirely sad...just bitter, "Jh-Jhust forget it."

To make my move, I'm almost there.
Everything I say I say to me first.
Everything I do I do to me first.

And the next morning will be a crushing blow for Jordan. Cordial as ever, he returns her skateboard to her while her parents are out enjoying a leisurely lunch together. She will take the skateboard and not invite him inside, "Thanks..." Nor will she make eye contact with him.

Everything I love,
Get back for me now.

"...Okay...what's wrong, Riley?"

Glossy eyes fight to the death to remain clear of those heavy tears, "Jordan...I...I think you have the wrong idea of me." She'll rub her lips together just a little.

"What...what are you talking about?" His world is crushing before him, weighing down the tufts of hair sticking out from underneath his hat, "We...you flirted with me. I...I thought you liked me too."

Everyone I love,
I need you now.

She'll shake her head, "I-I...I misread things I don't feel the same way okay?" The guilt and confusion is prominent within her sorry looking features, "I'm so sorry, Jordan-h. Can we...can we still maybe try to be friends?" There's a pause.

Because he's staring at the ground. And she cannot see his face.

"We have fun together...right?"

And finally he looks up at her. Tomato paste cheeks and salty tears of a meat head themed monologue on why she's choosing to run away, "...You played me."

So I conned,
I lied I lied to me too.
(so what?)
So I conned,
I lied I lied to me too.
(so what?)

"I-I swear. I swear on my life I didn't mean to!"

He'll raise a single hand in front of him in heartbroken defeat, "I need some time, Riley. I-I'm sorry-h. But this is s-so stupid-h." He'll wipe his eyes on his sleeve before he's turning around and trudging down those steps. Out of sight as quickly as he arrived.

She'll slam the door shut, back pressed against it. Slowly she'll slide down to the floor, knees drawn to her chest. And she will cry hysterical. Basking in the embarrassment of an inner turmoil of unorthodox sexual thoughts. What are people going to think?!

But it's as normal as playing straight. Because there is nothing wrong with Riley Andersen. But this isn't happening.

Because Disgust is not prepared. Disgust is not being listened to. And so she will do the only thing she can do for now.

"I feel so bad for Riley." Sadness begins.

Joy shakes her head, "I don't understand! We could have tried to make it work! Why did she shut him down so fast?!"

Disgust? Well, "Someone else will come along, Joy. I feel it."

"You're right!" Joy starts, "There are plenty of other boys to go around! So let's cheer her up by watching Rent!"

Disgust will play along, "...Good idea, I'm just about ready to get my Mimi Marquez on!"

And Riley Andersen? For now, she will endure. She will play straight. Because she's not ready for this yet. It will be left in the subconscious of abstract thought.

So what, she lied. She can lie to herself too...right?

Some things are not black and white.