A/N: Not much to say here, except please leave lots of reviews. Feedback is also very much welcome. Now, onto the credits.

Starring: Anime's perfect idiot, A bunch of hot chicks, some gratuitous crossover guests, and annoying ass villains.

Owned by: The True Villain of the Narutoverse and hater of Fanfiction.

Inspired by (Ripped off.): 'The Gambler' by ZenoNoKyuubi. (Props to him.)

Fanfic Written by: Fanfiction's most loveable and unreliable author.

Supported by: The real heroes here, all you amazing fans and readers. (Big shoutout to VFSNAKE, XXX777, Skull Flame, SonSanbi23, Fighting Joe, and Spider-Man999 who are some of my biggest supporters.)

Chapter two: Team Seven Assembles.

Within the shared apartment of Naruto and Anko, the sounds of low and deep moaning can be heard from the current guest, Natsuhi. "Mmm. Right there. Ohhhhh fuck, this is what I needed." She groaned out in pleasure as she smiled in satisfaction, her body slowly melting into the couch with a light blush of pink dusting her cheeks.

Sitting in front of her was her newest friend, host, and lover, Naruto with his fingers rubbing her feet. "I thought you said you didn't know how to give massages." She mumbled a bit as she took a sip of sake, enjoying the feeling of being pampered by a young boy.

"Not true. I said I hadn't mastered the art of massaging a woman's body." He responded, his fingers rubbing the knots out of her left foot making her groan a bit more.

"Could have fooled me. Kami, I haven't felt this relaxed in... forever really." She replied and took another sip of her acoholic beverage, the booze causing her blush to darken a bit. "Keep this up and I'll have my way with you again." she muttered blissfully, but before the blonde could reply there was a knock on the door.

Shaking his head, the blonde quickly made a Shadow clone to take over massaging his new house-guest so that he may answer. When the whiskered teen opened the doorway, he was greeted by the sight of the Sandaime... with the blonde boy's cats all sitting in front of him, the felines all having sinister grins spread across their faces. "Hey old man. What brings you here?" The Jinchuuriki asked with a broad smile, knowing that his felines must have gotten into some kind of mischief.

"Firstly, to return your cats after an... incident last night. Secondly, I am here to inform you that Team Assignments is today, at twelve. Sharp." The Hokage responded with a small chuckle, and then sweat-dropped a bit as the cats began to rub their bodies against Naruto's leg, all the while meowing in an 'innocent' manner.

"So about an hour then. Thanks for the heads up, though it seems kinda funny that you'd come here personally just for that. There anything else I need to know about?" The blonde teen asked while tilting his head in curiosity, earning a nod from his grandfather figure.

"You don't miss a trick do you? Sharp as ever." The Hokage spoke with a grin. Naruto then pulled out a deck of playing cars from his pocket and a moan noise came from the living area within the apartment, prompting the Sandaime to quirk up an eyebrow and ask "Company Naruto-kun?"

"Yup. A stray that I scooped up and am currently looking out for. Now, King of Clubs says, that you'll tell me something that I won't like." Naruto responded as he quickly cut and then shuffled through his deck before drawing out the top card... which was a King of Clubs.

"Okay, how do you do that?" Hiruzen asked with slight awe, wondering how the boy can pull off card tricks like that. It seemed as if he would frequently refer to his cards to predict things with frightening accuracy.

"Lady Luck never lies to the faithful. So, what's the problem?" The whiskered teen asked as continued to casually shuffle the deck of playing cards in his hands, and each time he drew a card, it would be the King of Clubs, prompting the boy to stick it back in the middle of the deck and resume shuffling again.

"Last night, Mizuki was arrested for attempting to steal the Forbidden Scroll, apparently he used Sasuke Uchiha as a proxy to steal it and likely planned for the boy to take the fall, buying Mizuki himself time to escape. Your cats managed to intervene and prevent the theft and your old, and I use the term loosely, 'teacher' has given a full confession to the crime. Apparently he was planning to sell the scroll off to the highest bidder." Hiruzen explained with a tired sigh, rubbing his temples a bit.

"The Forbidded Scroll eh? Lot of High ranking Jutsu in there. Dangling that thing in front of Sasuke would be like offering a beehive to a Honey Badger. Those critters will risk getting stung to death to get at that honey. So, lemme take a guess, Sasuke was let off the hook." the whiskered teen spoke, giving an educated guess towards the Uchiha's fate.

"Indeed. But Sasuke is still very much in hot water, for his misdeed. Inoichi also warned me that the boy is quite unstable and very easily a flight risk, and given how easily the Uchiha complied with Mizuki's machinations, I'm inclined to agree. Which is why I warned Team Seven's new sensei to keep an eye out for any suspicious behavior from the Uchiha, and I would feel safer still, knowing you're also there to keep Sasuke in line. I'm even willing to put your assistance down as an A-rank mission, for which you'll be appropriately compensated." The Sandaime explained, making the blonde frown a bit. But still, a job was a job. And money was money.

And the pay of an A-rank could be rather considerable. "And if Sasuke were to go Rogue? Am I licensed to return him to Konoha dead or alive?" The blonde asked with a somewhat sinister smile, which made some of his felines seemingly snicker in delight.

"Alive would be preferable, but dead is certainly an option as well if the boy doesn't come quietly." The aged Hokage answered bluntly, hoping that the latter wouldn't be required, but if it meant keeping the Sharingan out of the wrong hands, like Orochimaru, the extinction of the Uchiha clan may be a necessary evil.

"Good to know. So who's to be our Jonin-sensei? I heard Kizashi Haruno has been pushing pretty hard for Kakashi Hatake to be Sasuke's sensei." Naruto spoke with a small sneer, as he pocketed his deck of cards and then picked up the golden cat in his arms and began rubbing her belly, much to the jealousy of the other cats.

"You heard right. But Kizashi being of the Civilian council, doesn't get the final say. I do. And I have certain concerns with Kakashi being in charge of the Uchiha, since Hatake has a certain connection to Sasuke's clan that could cloud his judgment. That aside, Kakashi is currently in the hospital and unfit for duty, regardless." Hiruzen explained as his lips twitched upwards into a small smirk for a moment.

"The hospital? Why is that?" the whiskered teen asked out of simple curiosity.

"It would seem that Kakashi was diagnosed with prostate cancer and needs to stay at the hospital for treatment. I have arranged for a new Jonin-sensei, and I think you'll like who I selected." The Hokage answered and then departed before the blonde could press him for the identity of his new sensei.

The whiskered teen chuckled a bit and grabbed his trench-coat, prompting his feline companions to start climbing into their hiding places inside the coat. The blonde then called out to his house-guest "Oi, Natsuhi-san. I'm heading out for a while. Help yourself to whatever's in the kitchen!" in response the Rogue Kunoichi let out a dismissive 'Hai' as the blonde locked his apartment door to keep possible intruders from bursting in on his guest.

He then departed and left towards a nearby weapons shop that he frequented, due to it being one of the few places where he wasn't cheated out of his money, wasn't owned by Kizashi Haruno, and an old friend worked there as well. After a few minutes of walking, he entered the Ninja tool shop with the bell ringing as the door opened and closed behind him.

At the counter, the form of Tenten looked up and gave him a friendly wave. A large grin on her face as he approached, her eyes glancing towards the headband tied around his arm. "Well, look who finally passed the Academy exam. Word's going around that Iruka's now on Gate Guard duty, without pay, much to the Eternal Chunin, Izumo and Kotetsu's, amusement. Now where are those adorable cats of yours? Hiding in your coat again?" The weapons expert asked, prompting two felines to pop their heads out and meow in greeting.

Both the General and the crimson cat known as Erza hopped onto the counter, allowing Tenten to scratch their heads with a smile. "Esdeath. Erza. You been taking good care of Naruto-kun?" the brown haired girl asked earning some nods of agreement from the cats, while the others poked their heads out and raised their paws in a salute.

"It's true on Iruka's part. I suspected that he wouldn't play fair, so I decided to turn the tables on him by impromptly inviting the Hokage to my exam. Seems that Umino-san's bias towards me got him in trouble. Now then, I have team assignments soon, and I am curious to see if you have my order ready." The blonde stated, smirking as he petted the head of the strawberry blonde cat Rangiku, who gave a lazy yawn.

The weapons expert nodded and produced a large crate from beneath the counter "Got them right here. A bulk order of custom projectile weapons. Your usual playing cards with chakra infusion capablities. And I also have the rest of your order right here." She spoke and then produced another crate marked as 'explosive. Handle with care'.

She pulled out a drawer from behind the counter and produced three different colored playing dice. "Took me a while to get the mixtures right. But I think it'll be worth the money you put into them. White dice are loaded with tear gas, the black dice are flash bangs, and the red dice are grenades. Gotta say, I like your style when it comes to weapons." Tenten admitted with a smile, clearly very proud of her handiwork.

"Not exactly traditional weaponry. But it fits my Gambler motif, and they are far less conspicuous than Kunai and Shuriken. The point to being a ninja is to not attract attention, yes? But I digress, how much do I owe you for this order Ten-chan?" The whiskered teen asked with a smile.

"What do the cards tell you?" She asked him with a wink, lacing her fingers together as she waited for the blonde's response. With a chuckle, he produced his usual deck from his pocket and spread the cards across the counter in front of his friend.

"The Queen of Hearts says, you will want me to take you to dinner." he replied, and then gestured for her to choose a card. With a smirk, she picked up the first card to catch her eye, and found it to be a Queen of Hearts as her former classmate predicted.

"No matter how many times I see that, it still amazes me. I'll put the rest on your tab." She admitted, wondering how the blonde did that every single time.

"Lady Luck never lies. And she can be a very mischevious individual. That makes her a perfect Patron for me. I'll be seeing you later Tenten. I look forward to when our teams can work together. And have a little faith, Kady Luck always provides for her followers." he responded before sealing away the two crates into a scroll, and then planted a quick kiss on her cheek before departing with both Erza and the General climbing back into his pockets.

Minutes later.

Hana Inuzuka sighed as she droned on, calling out the names of the graduated students and their respective teams. Thanks to Iruka being fired, and Mizuki's arrest, it now fell to her to take charge of the Team Assignment session for the day, and hopefully by the time the next Academy season started again, a suitable replacement will have been found.

Before she could announce Team Seven, the form of Naruto Uzumaki entered inside with his ever present feline companions poking their heads out of their hiding places. It was still odd how the coat managed to have enough space to contain all the cats, which made Hana wonder if there was some kind of hammer space for the felines to hide away in.

"You're late." Hana noted with a sly smile, pointing towards the clock to illustrate her point.

"Fashionably." The blonde curtly replied as he took his seat next to Sakura, the pinkette seemingly not even taking note of his presence as she rubbed some dark bruises on her arms. Raising an eyebrow the blonde asked "Now where did you get those nasty little bruises?"

At his question, she tensed up and muttered half-heartedly "I... uhh... I fell." the whiskered teen made a small 'hmm' noise in thought, not at all believing her. But for the moment, he chose not to press her further on the subject.

At last Hana smirked a little as she announced the newest carnation of Team Seven. "Team Seven will be Naruto Uzumaki, Sakura Haruno and Sasuke Uchiha." In response to the announcement, the Uchiha scoffed in an uncaring manner, letting out his signature 'Hn' sound. Sakura didn't even seem to notice that she was placed on the same team as her crush and continued to nurse her sore bruises. Naruto could only shrug and seemed to be busying himself with building a house of cards.

After that, Hana announced the remaining teams. Afterwards, the numerous Genin seemed excited to begin their new careers as Genin... completely unaware of the face that it would involve D-rank missions. Which would quickly sober them up to a few realities to being a ninja. The more hardcore stuff would come later with time.

"By the way Naruto-kun... your team will be getting a very Special Sensei." Hana spoke to the blonde as he finished his house of cards in record time, much to the astonishment of his ex-classmates.

"Anyone I'm familiar with?" The whiskered teen asked before knocking down the neatly arranged house and began to reassemble them back into his deck.

"Very." Was Hana's response as she kissed his forehead and left with a small spring in her step, farther back in the class, Kiba Inuzuka frowned deeply, and when his elder sister left he got up from his seat and slammed his hands down on the desk in front of Naruto.

"Hey, Dobe! The hell was that? Why did my sister just kiss you?" The dog boy demanded angrily, his partner Akamaru poking his head out and also giving a light glare of annoyance, though if it was directed at Kiba or Naruto was anyone's guess.

The Jinchuuriki merely chuckled as he replied "The name 'Dobe' was a nickname bestowed on my Blood Clone, whom acted the fool on my orders, remember? It has no true relevance to me now. And Hana was one of the people who helped train me the past two years, she and Tsume-san both taught me Taijutsu and some first aid techniques. Now kindly back away before I ask my feline friends to deal with you." After giving his warning, his cats all emerged from their hiding places and began glaring angrily at Kiba, with Akamaru letting out a whimper of fear and retreating back into his partner's jacket.

At the sight of the Cats, Sasuke broke into a cold sweat and slid beneath his desk to hide from the felines. His fingers tenderly tracing some claw marks that were obscured with the usage of makeup. The Inuzuka however merely scoffed and retorted "I never understood your fascination with cats. They're just a bunch of lazy hairballs."

Naruto raised a finger up and waved it from side to side as he said "True in many cases. But these felines are very near and dear to my heart since they ended up saving my life. And did you know that in some parts of the world, cats are worshipped and respected? They're also said to bring good fortune. And if I were you... I wouldn't underestimate my friends."

"Oh really? What're they gonna do to me?" The dog boy asked with a snicker, not even viewing the felines as a potential threat while he crossed his arms. Then a sudden chill ran up and down his spine, and the golden cat took on a martial arts stance, making the Inuzuka tilt his head a bit... and then a puff of smoke obscured his vision as a foot kicked him square in his crotch.

"Assemble!" shouted a female voice as more puffs of smoke occurred in the classroom, in place of six felines, stood six gorgeous women all posessing cat ears and tails.

The first was a woman with pale skin, and shimmering light blue hair wearing a military cap on her head. She adjusted her cap with a devilish grin and spoke "General Esdeath."

The second woman had bright crimson hair and seemed to be wearing armor akin to that of a Knight. A sword held between her hands as she announced her own name "Erza Scarlett."

The third was a woman with purple hair, wearing the clothes and hat of a witch as she sat atop a Jack o' lantern "Blair-sama!" she shouted out her name with a wink.

The fourth woman had bright blonde hair and golden eyes as she slammed her fists together and shouted "Leone!"

The fifth woman had long strawberry blonde hair, and a bust that seemed to equal that of a certain Sannin, running her hands through her hair, she introduced herself as well "Rangiku Matsumoto."

The sixth and final woman had purple hair, golden eyes, and dark chocolaty skin that was seldom seen in Konoha. A sultry smile on her face as she spoke her own name "Yoruichi Shihoun."

To...

ge...

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WE...

ARE...

"THE UZUMAKI NINJA CAT SQUAD!" they announced and struck a pose, with multi-colored smoke bombs exploding behing them, the scene making numerous Genin blink their eyes wondering what had just happened. The general turned to her subordinates and gave an approving thumbs up.

"Perfect execution! Well done everyone! Now we are a squad that Naruto-sama can be proud of!" Esdeath shouted with her face now beaming, earning cheers from the other cat ladies. In the background Naruto couldn't help but grin at their antics, sure they had some quirks, but they were certainly reliable.

"Naruto... your cats... they could do that the whole time?" Sakura asked with disbelieving eyes, the scene having snapped her out of her distracted stupor from before.

"Told you they were my Familiars." The whiskered teen curtly responded and then whistled for the felines to return. With several nods, they changed back into their cat forms and climbed back into his coat, all the while ignoring the stares from the various Genin in the classroom. Naruto briefly looked over his shoulder and noticed that Kiba had passed out on his feet, clutching at his crotch with his eyes rolled into his head.

"Am I interrupting anything pup?" Asked a female voice in a snarky tone, which drew the attention of the blonde. A broad smile on his face as he was greeted by the sight of Tsume Inuzuka, the mother of both Hana and Kiba, and the Matriarch for the Inuzuka clan. Sitting next to her, was her canine companion Kuromaru, who gave the whiskered teen a nod of respect.

"Tsume-sama. Wasn't expecting to see you here. My feline friends were just teaching Kiba that it's not a good idea to mess with me." The blonde boy explained, pointing his thumb in the direction of the Clan head's son, who gave a simple shrug.

"I'm sure he was trying to start something while trying to act like an Alpha. Anyways, good news pup. Starting today, I'll be your Jonin sensei. Guess that means the pinkette and Uchiha is going to be joining us. Well, come on then brats. We're going to training ground Seven." She spoke, earning an excited nod from Naruto, with both Sakura and Sasuke following her to the aforementioned Training ground. Unsure of what to expect from their new Sensei.

Meanwhile.

"Man. I wish I was back in Konoha. I would've loved to be Naruto-kun's sensei." Muttered the form of Anko Mitarashi as she and a group of Anbu were now investigating a laboratory formerly used by her ex-sensei Orochimaru. For some reason, the lab seemed pretty barren and empty, but there was no signs of dust or cobwebs so he must have frequently visited. Whatever it was that he researched here, it seems he was in a hurry to pack up and leave before Konoha forces arrived.

It made her wonder, what exactly it was he was trying to hide. "Found something." An Anbu called out, pushing aside a large bookshelf that concealed a hidden stairway. The team of Ninja then descended down the stairs where an eerie orange light came from below. For some reason, Anko felt a pit form in her gut as she got a terrible feeling, something was very much wrong here.

When they reached the bottom of the stairs, the Snake Mistress gaped in horror. Numerous tubes filled with glowing orange liquid were stationed across the lab, many malformed and hideous creatures gently bobbing up and down inside. One by one, she inspected the containers, and found that all life signs from each one read as 'negative'.

Until at last she came upon one tube that held a perfectly shaped humanoid inside, the life signs on this one being labeled as 'stable'. "Oh my holy god... this is..." She muttered as she fell to her knees, the numerous Anbu removing their masks revealing their shocked expressions as they stared at the contents of the tube.

"Somebody call somebody." Anko mumbled as tears leaked down her face at the sight before her. Her hand reaching up and gently touching the glass.

"Who... who do we even call?" An Anbu asked as he replaced his mask, unsure what to make of this terrifiying and wonderous discovery.

"Everybody." Was all the Snake Mistress could say, her astonished expression, quickly shifting to anger. "Orochimaru... I don't know what you were planning. But I'll never forgive you for this."

Training Ground Seven.

The newly formed Team Seven was now sitting in front of the trademark stumps of their respective training ground, while Tsume Inuzuka and her canine partner looked over their three new charges. She already was somewhat aware of Naruto's skill set since she had helped train him, so she needed to look at Sakura and Sasuke's records in the Academy.

On paper, one would see that Sakura was an academic genius, but on closer inspection it would be easy to see that she had no skills to put her brain to any practical use, plus her Taijutsu was rather abyssmal to say the least, save for some bursts of Divine Feminine fury if provoked to bolster her almost nonexistent Taijutsu skills. The girl's Chakra levels were also subpar, though this could allow for easier control which could aid in medical and/or Genjutsu type training. But first, the fangirl part of her personality needs to be cut away like a cancer before any real work can be done.

Next came Sasuke Uchiha, the so-called Golden boy of the Academy and a potential candidate for Rookie of the year... until the Sandaime bestowed the latter title onto Naruto after his skillful display in the Genin exam. Supposedly, the Uchiha was some kind of prodigy in Taijutsu and Ninjutsu. However, Tsume believed that his skill and potential was overstated and exaggerated by both Iruka and Mizuki. To her knowledge, Sasuke had some training in his clan's Tajutsu, the Interceptor fist, that gave him a clear advantage over the standard Academy taught Taijutsu.

Plus he already had learned of the Fire Ball Jutsu technique, since mastering it was a rite of passage towards becoming an Elite, a true Shinobi, of the Uchiha clan. Yet another advantage he had gotten earlier on than the other students. While Sasuke may have SOME potential, his greatest weakness was his ego, his belief in Uchiha superiority and his lack of regard for the thoughts and feelings of others. She would need to keep the self-proclaimed avenger on a tight and short leash to keep him under control. Especially on the Hokage's orders given how the boy stole the Forbidden Scroll a bit too eagerly.

Suffice it to say, Tsume was really gonna have her work cut out for her since she had a particularly unstable team here. Luckily Naruto was present to help provide stability and order if she were absent. "All right then. Time for a little test." The Clan head announced and pulled out a single bell, her canine partner chuckling a bit as he knew that Tsume was gonna have some fun with the pups.

"Test? What's that mean Sensei? We already passed the Genin exam." Sakura spoke with a small whine to her voice, earning a sigh of annoyance from the brown haired woman.

"You really think that learning some kiddie jutsu makes you a full fledged Ninja? Wrong! You just have the potential to become a Ninja, now comes the real test. I don't really wanna waste my time on this, so I simplified things for you pups. All you have to do, is convince me to hand over this bell. That's it." Tsume announced while giving the bell a little shake, making it jingle.

"Seems like an overly simplified version of Team Seven's trademark bell test Tsume-san." Naruto commented, since he had heard stories from the Sandaime about the Bell test which had been performed for each carnation of Team Seven, though his statement only earned a shrug from Tsume who didn't seem interested in dragging this out any longer than need be.

Unsurprisingly, Sasuke was the first to try his luck as he lunged forward to snatch the bell away, making the Matriarch yank her hand back to keep the bell out of his reach. The Uchicha then threw a punch to her midsection but she swatted his fist away with ease, and then shoved in open palm into his chest to knock him off-balance. Sasuke stumbled a bit but he regained his footing as he crouched low and sent out a kick to sweep out Tsume's legs from under her, but she avoided it with a small hop. A bored expression quickly formed on her face as the Avenger kept on trying to land a blow on her, but she thwarted every attempt without ever skipping a beat. Finally, having enough playing around, the Uchiha began going through hand-signs to unleash the Fire Ball Jutsu he had learned years ago... only to be cut short when Tsume sent a quick jab to his throat, closing off his windpipe.

Puffs of smoke came from the Uchiha's mouth since he hadn't fully unleashed the jutsu, his hands clutching at his neck as he gasped and wheezed for air, his eyes watering from the plums of black smoke escaping from his lips until he collapsed to his knees. Tsume clicked her tongue in annoyance then turned her attention over to Sakura and jingled the bell, as if baiting the pinkette. "Come on Pinkie Pie. Care to try?" the Inuzuka woman asked while making a 'come here' motion with her finger, prompting the Haruno girl to quickly shake her head 'no'

Naruto chuckled a bit, not finding it surprising that the pinkette would chicken out. Now it was his turn to take a crack at it. In truth, the blonde was probably at mid to high Chunin level right now, but if he could learn to tap into his Bijuu Chakra then he could undoubtedly shatter his current limitations. Still, he knew that this test didn't actually require that much effort if you thought about it. With a smirk, he approached the Matriarch and held out his hand, asking politely "May I please have the bell Tsume-sama?"

Both Sakura and Sasuke gave the whiskered teen a 'Are you serious?' kind of look, but then their jaws dropped to the ground when Tsume dropped the bell into his open palm and then gave him a thumbs up for his accomplishment. "Wait a minute! All we had to do was just ask for the bell? Then what was the whole point of this test then?" Sakura asked in outrage, the Uchiha also looked like he wanted to say something... but smoke was still coming out from between his lips.

"I said you had to convince me. Not actually take the bells from me. And the point is, that you won't be able to solve all your problems with violence, so sometimes you need to think outside the box and try something most people wouldn't expect. In the Shinobi World, nothing is as cut and dry as you might think." Tsume explained earning a chortling sound from her canine partner.

"If you can't understand that much, then you won't last long as Ninja. The stupid ones always die quick. And as your Sensei, it's my job to whip you into shape. Naruto, since you passed my bell test, you're in charge whenever I'm not around. I hereby announce that Team Seven has officially formed and passed the bell test." Tsume announced, prompting the Uchiha to glare at the blonde since he felt that he himself should be in charge. Not some uppity cat obsessed Dobe.

"Grand. It will be nice to work with you and Kuromaru." The whiskered teen spoke with a smile as he left with a small spring in his step.

"Don't forget to meet us at the mission assignment office, tomorrow at ten in the morning! And don't be late!" Tsume called out earning a wave of acknowledgment from the blonde as he stuffed his hands into his pockets. His stomach now rumbled for food and so it was time for him to pay a visit to Ichiraku ramen. After a few minutes of walking, he had finally arrived at his favorite ramen stand.

Sure, he kearned to eat other things besides ramen, but it was still nice to have the occasional treat every now and again... especially if one has to suffer the presence of imbeciles like Sasuke Uchiha and any other Uchiha ass-kissers. When he entered inside, he found that somebody else was already inside, it was a woman with dirty blonde hair wearing a Kumo headband.

Sitting down next to her, the Ichiraku's acknowledged his presence and began making his usual order of ramen, the Uzumaki Deluxe special. The woman next to him turned towards him and asked "Do I know you from somewhere?"

"No. I would think that I'd remember meeting a lovely lady like you." He replied charmingly as he waited patiently for his order. But he could feel that this stranger was currently staring at him for some reason.

"There's something awfully familiar about you. And I can't put my finger on... sorry. Where are my manners? Yugito Nii. Kunoichi of Kumo and Nibi Jinchuuriki." The woman introduced herself with a smile, her introduction now fully earning the whiskered teen's attention.

"Naruto Uzumaki. Kyuubi Jinchuuriki at your service." he responded and gave a brief two-fingered salute to his fellow Jinchuuriki. Her face now beaming with excitement.

"Ohhhhhh! So that's why you felt so familiar to me! It's nice to meet another Jinchuuriki." She replied happily since she hadn't expected to meet another of her kind in Konoha so soon.

"Indeed. I think Lady Luck wanted us to meet." Naruto spoke with a smile, the Ichiraku's finished preparing his ramen with Ayame presenting it to him, giving him a bright smile as he accepted his meal and began to dig into it after a brief 'Itadakimassu'. Though his statement about Lady Luck confused the Nibi container a bit.

"Lady Luck, eh? You sure about that?" She asked almost skeptically, wondering if he was serious or was using some kind of cheesy pick up line. Though, he didn't seem to actually be trying to hit on her just yet.

"Absolutely. What are the odds of meeting another Jinchuuriki in my favorite place to eat? Seems Lady Luck brought us together for a certain reason. Though I am curious. What brings a Kumo Kunoichi, and the Nibi Jinchuuriki to boot, all the way to Konoha?" The whiskered teen asked with a raised eyebrow, his question making her stiffen up slightly.

"That's classified." She replied bluntly, not wanting to answer him. Her response earning a look of suspicion from her fellow blonde.

"That's one way to say 'mind your own business'. Would it have something to do with these pictures?" Naruto asked while holding up some photos of the Hyuuga compound, its patrolling guards, and of both Hinata and Hanabi Hyuuga, making the Nibi Jinchuuriki pale in horror as she patted her clothes widly, wondering how he lifted those off of her without her noticing. Although a certain Goddess of Flash may have had something to do with it, unknown to Yugito.

"Not planning another Hyuuga kidnapping are you? I thought the last time was lesson enough as it was. Guess the message didn't quite get across last time." Naruto explained, referring to the incident when Kumo attempted to kidnap Hinata.

"Please... I had no choice... they threatened my sister. Samui. They said they'd... do things to her if I didn't cooperate." Yugito tried to explain, her eyes watering with tears that soon spilled down her cheeks, earning a look of sympathy from her fellow blonde. Already guessing those 'things' may have involved rape or something of the like.

"Why not report them to your Raikage? I hear that the Yondaime Raikage is hard-headed, but a good guy." Naruto asked with a raised eyebrow, the answer he received was in the form of Yugito sticking her tongue out and exposing a seal placed on it.

"If I try to report their wrongdoings to the Raikage, that seal will slice out my tongue and I'll end up drowning in my own blood." she explained, earning a nod from the Kyuubi container as he ate his ramen while pondering what to do on the subject.

"What if you explained the situation to the Hokage, and then he contacts your Raikage?" Naruto asked, offering a solution to her predicament. The Nibi container's face lit up since she hadn't thought of that, and then mentally kicked herself for her own stupidity.

"That could work. But how long does it take to get an appointment with the Sandaime Hokage?" Yugito asked, earning a chuckle from her fellow blonde.

"Why wait? We can just go up to his office." Naruto replied as he finished his ramen and then placed the money he owed onto the counter, plus a generous tip for his favorite ramen waitress.

"Just like that?" She asked, wondering if it was a good idea to burst in on a Kage out of the blue as she also payed for her meal and got up from her seat to follow her newfound friend to the Hokage's office.

"Sure. I do it all the time. I told you Lady Luck brought us together for a reason! Now, let's get going!" Naruto spoke and then grabbed the Nibi container by the wrist and started to run towards the Hokage tower with the Kumo Kunoichi trailing behind him as she struggled to keep up with him.

"Hey! Slow down!" Yugito called out as she struggled to regain her footing as she was almost being dragged behind the whiskered teen. From inside her seal, the Nibi herself was chuckling and muttered "I like him Kitten. He smells like cats and foxes. And he seems to be a caring and considerate person. I think you should follow him to his apartment and 'thank' him for his assistance by rocking his world."

The Nibi's words earned a blush on Yugito's face as she tried to ignore her tenant's pervy antics... only to find herself being yanked upwards as Naruto leapt high into the air, taking her with him. "My friend Maito Gai, taught me this one! Dynamic Entry!" The blonde yelled out as he proceeded to kick out the window of the Hokage.

"You're crazy!" Yugito screamed out as she covered her eyes, knowing this was not going to end well.

Two minutes earlier. Hokage office.

"What do you mean that Kakashi is not Team Seven's Sensei?" Asked the form of Kizashi Haruno with a scowl, his arms crossed over his chest as he tried to stare down the Sandaime. Hiruzen sighed tiredly as he continued to file paperwork, on top of having to deal with the pink haired man's whining.

"Last I checked, you're of the Civilian Council. And I, as the Hokage, get the final say on Shinobi and village matters. Besides, it couldn't be helped. Kakashi is in the hospital for treatment of prostate cancer, and I had to find somebody else on short notice. Tsume was fortunately gracious enough to take the position." The Sandaime answered in stern tone, growing increasingly annoyed at the Ex-Shinobi for his attitude and acting like he was in charge of things.

"We agreed that Kakashi was to train the Uchiha!" Kizashi growled out, throwing his hands up in anger before crossing his arms yet again.

"We agreed on nothing. I said that I'd give it some thought. And frankly, I feel better that Sasuke is under the supervision of someone with no emotional attachments to the Uchihas. Kakashi's connection with his late teammate Obito could easily get in the way of his judgment." the Sandaime retorted with increasing anger, almost feeling the urge to call for his Anbu guard to throw the bum out.

Before the pink haired parasite could argue further a shout of 'Dynamic Entry' followed by a 'You're crazy!' was heard as a pair of figures crashed through the office windows, a foot impacting Kizashi sqaure in the face, causing him to be sent flying through the office door and into the wall out in the hallway. When the dust settled, it was revealed to be Naruto himself making a peace sign with his fingers while holding onto the wrist of a woman with some swirls in her eyes.

"Did I hit somebody?" The blonde boy asked as he looked at the form of Kizashi and found the pink haired man to still be breathing. "Oh. So that's who I hit. Good, was worried I actually hit somebody important. Lady Luck smiles on me again." The whiskered teen spoke as he scratched the side of his cheek.

Hiruzen however was relieved at the interruption, though he wished the boy hadn't smashed his way through the windows. The Sandaime now somewhat regretted letting the boy learn some of Gai's techniques... though it was definitely worth it to see Kizashi getting kicked in the face like that. "Ah. Naruto my boy! Welcome! What can I do for you? And who's the lovely lady you brought with you?" The Sandaime asked, noticing that the newcomer had a Kumo headband.

"This is Yugito Nii. Kumo's Nibi Jinchuuriki. I kidnapped her and am planning to hold her for ransom." Naruto briefly answered, earning a nod from the Sandaime... until it clicked in his mind the boy's exact words. Making the Hokage slam his hands against the desk and scream "ARE YOU SERIOUS?!"

"Nah. Not in the slightest. Was just messing with you." Naruto replied back with a small laugh, which earned a sigh of relief from the Sandaime as he set himself back into his seat and lit his favorite pipe.

"Good grief. Don't go saying weird things like that. Being Hokage is stressful enough as it is. And here you are making bad jokes to kill me with a heart attack." Hiruzen grumbled in a joking tone as he rubbed his temples. After this exchange, Yugito managed to catch her second wind and got her bearings. Dusting herself off before bowing to the Sandaime.

"Hokage-sama. I'm sorry for the intrusion. But... I need your help. My sister is unknowingly being held hostage by Kumo's Shinobi council, and they have tasked me with kidnapping either Hinata or Hanabi Hyuuga." Yugito spoke, quickly explaining her situation and then urging Naruto to show the photographs that he had stolen from her earlier. The whiskered teen neatly laying out the pictures on the desk for Hiruzen to see as he registered her words.

"You are a brave young woman to come to me like this. I take it that Kumo's Shinobi Council must be Sandaime Raikage loyalists yes? That was a much darker chapter in Kumo's history. But why come to me? Why not report them directly to your Yondaime?" Hiruzen asked with a raised eyebrow as he took a drag from his pipe. The answer he received was Yugito sticking out her tongue, showing the seal placed on it.

"Barbarians." Hiruzen muttered angrily at the fact that a Kunoichi was being taken advantage of and used against her will like this. "I'll send word to the Yondaime Raikage and alert him of the situation. We can discuss things more in-depth on his arrival. I appreciate you coming directly to me so that another incident can be avoided. Naruto-kun? Would you be so kind as to take this young woman to your home? I think she would feel more comfortable in the protective custody of a fellow Jinchuuriki." he asked, earning a nod of agreement from the Kyuubi Jinchuuriki.

"Would be my pleasure. That okay with you Yugito-san?" The blonde boy asked, prompting the Nibi container to nod her head 'yes'.

"If it isn't too much trouble. Then, yes. I'd be glad to." She replied and quickly followed him out of the office so that they may head to his apartment. "Great. Hope you don't mind having another roommate. I have somebody else staying there too. Her name is Natsuhi, I think you'll like her." Naruto replied as he guided her to his home, in a much more gentle manner than before.

Upon leaving, the form of the Anbu Neko appeared and gave Kizashi a sideways glance before entering the office. "Gai or Naruto-kun?" She asked, pointing a thumb in the pink haired man's direction, who's body was occasionally twitching.

"It was Naruto-kun this time. And don't bother calling medics. Now, what needs my attention Neko-san?" The Sandaime asked, gesturing to the folders in her hands which likely contained sensitive information for his eyes only.

"Anko Mitarashi reported on her discoveries at Orochimaru's hidden lab. She is on her way now with one of the specimens. And she says that you must see it for yourself to believe it. Secondly, in Wave country, Gato is hosting a high stakes poker tournament with a five million ryo buy-in. It is suspected that Gato is rigging the game in his favor, so that he may use the funds to aid Oto. Our sources also have reason to believe that Orochimaru himself is strongly involved with Oto and is likely doing business with Gato himself." Neko reported and then gave the files over to the Hokage for him to read over.

"I see... this is troubling. But... I think I have just the ninja for this job." Hiruzen stated with a grin, earning a nod of agreement from the Anbu since they both knew of a certain someone who claimed to have Lady Luck in his corner, who so happened to be a skilled card player just as well. If he couldn't pull it off, then no one could.

Elsewhere.

In the apartment of Kakashi Hatake, a crash sound was heard as a hawk had crashed through the window, believing its reflection to be a rival hawk encroaching on its turf. The bird screeched in confusion before regaining its bearings, stretching out its wings and nipping its feathers. The bird then took off and flew out the window back into the open skies. Unknown to the bird, there was a photograph stuck in its talons. A picture of Kakashi and his team when he was still a student of the Yondaime.

Suddenly the picture slipped off the Hawk's talons and was blown away by a powerful gust of wind that continued to carry the picture far, far away out from Konoha... and continued to fly towards Ame.

End chapter two.

Bonus scene: The bad death of Iruka Umino. (No one will miss him.)

"Finally." Iruka grumbled as he was now finally free of his gate guard duties for the day and immediately left to go back to his apartment. All the while thinking about strangling one Naruto Uzumaki to death for the loss of his job, and making him look bad in front of the Sandaime. Passing the blame onto the boy for everything bad in his life, just to try and make himself feel better.

Unknown to him, there was a hole developing in the back pants pocket where he keeps his wallet. And then a loud rip sound was heard prompting Iruka to turn and see that his wallet had fallen to the ground, making him inspect the back of his pants and find the hole. With a grumble he reached down to grab the wallet, only for a squirrel to run by, followed by a barking dog chasing after the rodent. The canine knocking Iruke back and its legs kicking the wallet into a nearby sewer grate.

"Oh come on!" The Scarred Chunin shouted as he shook his head, and reached down into the grate to retrieve his lost wallet. Except a loud hissing sound was heard, followed by a loud chomp. The sounds of crunching bone and tearing flesh could be heard as Iruka began screaming in pain. When he at last freed his arm, his hand was gone and nothing was left but a bloody stump with blood spewing out and bone visible.

With a desperate cry, he began to ran towards the hospital as quickly as possible. However, his scream had roused a sleeping bull that was inside of a pen with a sign that read 'Quiet please. Angry bull', the shrill noise of his screaming quickly alerting It to his presence. With a snort and a bellow, the bull charged, breaking out of it's confines and impaled Iruka through the back with its horns. The angry bovine then began to buck violently to shake him off, causing the Chunin's limp body to fly through the window of a nearby meat packing plant where his corpse fell into a meat grinder.

The workers never noticed Iruka's body falling into the meat grinder since they were all on lunch break, only finding a broken window. Meanwhile, the machinary did its job as the now deceased Chunin's body was already packaged and prepped for delivery. The meat of Iruka Umino was later shipped to Konoha prison where it was cooked into chili and stew for the inmates, most particularly pedophiles, rapists, the worst kinds of criminals.

No one bothered reporting Iruka was missing, and no one even cared. As was deserving of a useless and unimportant Chunin who neglected in his duties.

End bonus scene.

Next time: While Naruto cares for his new house-guests, it seems that Hiruzen already has a mission in mind for Team Seven. And it'll be up to Tsume to encourage discipline into her team. Meanwhile, in the background, bizarre occurences seem to be taking place. What are they leading up to?

A/N: Sorry for the delay. Had a small case of writer's block. Love or hate the chapter, that's up to the reader. You can't please everyone so I don't bother trying. Feedback and suggestions are always welcome. Also, I am trying to break my bad habit of constantly posting new fics instead of focusing on what I have. So, I shall attempt restricting myself to at least four stories at a time.

Next updates (in order.):

Naruto x Fuka challenge fic. (Filler girl from Faux Kyuubi arc. Challenge offered by XXX777)

CounterAttack on Titan V2. (Rewrite of Naruto x Attack on Titan xover.)

Toxic Love ch.4

Fortune Favors the Bold ch.3

Look forward to my next updates. And thank you all for your patience, support and understanding.