A/N: Something that came to mind out of seemingly nowhere... Okay... maybe I drew some inspiration. Hope you enjoy... onto the credits!

Starring: Anime's perfect idiot, A bunch of hot chicks, some gratuitous crossover guests, and annoying ass villains (Mainly OP Sharingan using assholes).

Owned by: The True Villain of the Narutoverse and hater of Fanfiction.

Inspired by (Ripped off.): 'The Gambler' by ZenoNoKyuubi. (Props to him.)

Fanfic Written by: Fanfiction's most loveable and unreliable author.

Supported by: The real heroes here, all you amazing fans and readers. (Big shoutout to VFSNAKE, XXX777, Skull Flame, SonSanbi23, Fighting Joe, and Spider-Man999 who are some of my biggest supporters.)

Warning: Lemon in Chapter.

Chapter one: Pilot.

In the apartment of Naruto Uzumaki, the blonde boy sighed as he sat all alone. It was the night of his birthday and he was feeling extremely depressed, for he had failed the Academy exam for the first time and the entire class had mocked him for his failed Clone Jutsu. On top of that, Anko Mitarashi, one of the few friends he actually had was on a long-term mission and wouldn't be back for some months.

Naruto grumbled to himself as he wondered why he got the short end of the stick to everything. Why didn't he have parents? Why did he have to bear the Kyuubi? Why did he have to be a doormat for the village to walk on? He was so tired of it all... that he couldn't take it anymore... and resolved to kill himself to free himself of this suffering.

Grabbing a box of matches, he goes behind his stove to rip out the gas line to allow his apartment to fill up with it. After a few moments he sighed and then lit the match, expecting a loud 'kaboom'... except no explosion happened. For a moment he was confused but then sniffed the air and found that no gas had come out from the line. "Oh, right. I forgot the gas was shut off. New plan then." the blonde muttered to himself as he doused the match and grabbed a nearby toaster.

He brought it to the bathroom and turned on the water, filling his tub full of water. Sure it would have to be cold water, but he'd have to work with what he had. "The old toaster trick should work." the blonde said to himself as he stripped out of his usual god-awful orange jumpsuit and slowly lowered himself into the cold water. He shivered from the cold and then turned on the toaster, prepared to drop it into the water... only for the power to blink out which turned the toaster off again.

"DAMN FAULTY WIRING!" the blonde yelled as he threw the toaster away and got out of the tub. Drying himself off with a towel to get rid of some of the cold liquid. With a frustrated growl, he came to his bed and ripped off the sheets. Tying them into a makeshift noose for himself as he went back to the kitchen area.

After preparing the makeshift noose and tying the other end to something sturdy enough to keep him in the air, the whiskered boy stood on top of a chair and then jumped... only for the support beam for the ceiling shattering making the boy slip from his noose and fall to the floor with a loud crash. "Damn it! How hard is it to die?!" he screamed in anger at his repeated failures to kill himself.

"Fine then!" The blonde growled as he grabbed a kitchen knife and prepared to slash his wrists open... only to hear some clattering noises outside followed by the sounds of yowling cats. Normally he would have ignored it... but now it sounded like one of the felines was in pain. With a frustrated sigh, he slammed the knife down and exited his apartment to see what all the commotion was about.

There he found a number of kittens, and one of them seemed to be tangled up in some kind of netting. It was likely they were dumpster diving and one of them ended up getting stuck. There were two black kittens, a kitten with blood red fur, one with light blue fur, a golden furred one, and a strawberry blonde one too. The strawberry blonde colored kitten seemed to be the one that was currently stuck as it mewled for help, while the others were trying to bite through the netting in spite of it hurting the insides of their mouths.

Feeling sorry for the trapped kitten, he slowly began to untangle the feline while the others silently looked on, watching him very closely but making no move to interfere. After a few moments, the trapped kitten was almost free and then... something landed on top of the blonde boy's head with a dull thunk, the object landing at his feet and appeared to be some kind of Ninjutsu scroll. "The hell? Who'd throw away a Ninjutsu scroll?" The blonde muttered after finally getting the trapped kitten lose.

He then picked up the scroll and opened it to read its contents. His eyes slowly widened until they were now the size of dinner plates as he discovered that the scroll contained details on a very wide variety of Clone type Jutsu. Water, Mud, Shadow, Explosive, and Blood clones to be exact. With all these different clones... there was no way he could fail the Academy. Though it seemed the Blood clone would be the most useful of them since it creates a perfect body double that would only be dispelled if the caster makes the clone vanish, or if the clone 'dies'.

The wheels began to turn in the boy's head as he grinned. Viewing this as his chance to not only do some truly serious training, but he would also be able to deal with the Academy simultaneously without actually needing to attend. "Seems like this might actually be my lucky night. Not only did I not die, but now I have this." the whiskered teen muttered excitedly, then felt the felines start to rub against his legs, purring and meowing happily.

Chuckling he knelt down and started to pet the kittens and spoke to them in a soft voice "Guess I have you guys to thank. You distracted me from probably making a terrible decision." He chuckled at the end since his hopes had been rekindled by this turn of good fortune.

"I hear that in some parts of the world, cats are worshipped and are meant to bring good luck. Maybe you guys were sent to me by Lady Luck or someone?" the blonde asked, only to earn some adorable meowing from the kittens. With a small smile, he scooped them up in his arms and brought them inside his apartment, now feeling assured that suicide was the wrong choice.

If he had killed himself, it would be like allowing the people who torment him to win. But if he pushed on and kept going, then he could someday become Hokage, which in a way, would be a form of revenge against the people who have mocked and looked down on him for so long. And with this newfound luck, he was sure to get a much needed boost in life.

Two years later.

"Graduation day! Finally. Two years of training in the Forest of Death are complete." Naruto spoke to himself with a broad smile. For the past two years, he had vigorously trained inside the infamous Forest, learning to scavenge and live off the land for months at a time, mastering his various clone Jutsu and even creating some of his own jutsu. After his friend Anko had returned, he told her the story of how he found the scroll, including his attempted suicides.

After a mixture of tears, laughing, and beating the snot out of him for trying to kill himself, Anko helped train him in some of her own fire based Jutsu. The blonde even took to wearing one of her prized trench-coats but this one was colored black with the familiar crimson swirl mark on the back, often seen on Jonin and Chunin vests. Currently, the Snake user was on assignment to investigate one of her old Sensei's labs so it would be awhile before they saw each other again.

But still, he didn't feel so lonely anymore thanks to his cats now. The blonde sometimes thought about trying to meditate and communicate with the Kyuubi, but would often second-guess himself since he couldn't figure out when a 'good' time would come to meet with the beast. Not to mention he didn't know how the Nine Tails would behave.

Deciding to shelve those thoughts for now, the whiskered teen continued on with a smirk, but then he stopped when he saw a woman sitting on the side of the road, cradling a duffel bag that obviously had something inside. "Hey there Ma'am. You seem to be a bit out of place." the blonde spoke with a small and charming smile, the woman flinched slightly and pushed away some of her purple hair.

"What makes you say that?" She asked out of curiosity, raising a delicate eyebrow. Clutching the bag even tighter to her chest in a somewhat defensive manner. The blonde then smirked as he held up a Ninja headband with a star symbol engraved onto it, making her grab at her own pockets as she wondered how he lifted that off of her without her noticing.

"From the Village hidden in the Stars, eh? You're an awful long way from home. You're either a spy. Or a Rogue Nin." The blonde noted with a grin, prompting the stranger to snatch the headband out from his hand and quickly tuck it away into her duffel bag.

"I'm no spy! And how did you know? How did you even steal my headband without me noticing?" she asked him, her face turning red from a mixture of anger and embarrassment, earning some laughter from the blonde boy.

"I know the face of every Citizen of Konoha, both Shinobi and Civilian. I have an Eidetic memory, and there aren't many people around with purple hair. And I am extremely talented after training almost non-stop for the past two years in a forest where animals the size of buildings try to eat you daily. Allow me to introduce myself. Naruto Uzumaki, Soon-to-be Genin, future Hokage, professional gambler, and part-time professional asshole, at your service." the blonde spoke and gave a small bow.

The purple haired woman hesitated for a moment and replied "Natsuhi. Former Kunoichi of Star." she spoke with a small sigh since there was no point in concealing her identity since she had already been made.

"If you're not a spy. What brings you to Konoha? Does it have to do with what's in that bag you're carrying?" the whiskered teen asked with a cheeky grin, earning a reluctant nod from the purple haired woman.

"Yes. But for your safety, I cannot tell you any more than that. Please don't turn me over to the authorities. I'm not doing anything bad! I promise!" She spoke, trying to plead with the boy.

"Dunno. On the one hand, I have a weakness for the fairer sex and I would hate to bring undue harm to a woman. On the other hand, if what you have with you affects Konoha negatively and I didn't report you, I could get in trouble. I suppose I have no choice but to allow Lady Luck to guide me." The blonde spoke as he pulled out a single gold coin from his pocket.

"Heads, I leave you alone for now, and buy you dinner after the Academy exams. Tails, I'll report you to the Hokage and let him figure out what to do with you." the blonde spoke, but before Natsuhi could protest, he'd already flipped the coin and it had landed in his open palm revealing... Heads.

"Have a nice day Natsuhi-san. Lady Luck smiles on you. I'll be sure to find you for dinner." the whiskered teen said and then walked off towards the Academy with a small spring in his step.

"Wait! How will you even find me?" She asked him, finding it odd that he just decided things with a simple flip of a coin.

"Don't worry about it! I have my ways. Don't skip town or anything!" the blonde called out without turning around as he continued on to the Academy. All the while whistling a merry tune. As the boy continued to walk down the street he saw a suspicious looking man peeping into the women's bath house as he giggled perversely, all the while scribbling down in a notebook.

"PEEPING TOM RAPIST!" the blonde shouted, alerting the women inside that they were being watched, and not even a moment later, began chasing the White haired man across the village. "Damn that felt good to bust a sicko. While it is good to be appreciative of the opposite sex, one must also respect their privacy when they are bathing or doing other such activities. Now then, Lady Luck, what fortune shall you bring me today?" the blonde boy muttered as he rolled the gold coin across his knuckles.

Ever since that night, the blonde had been receiving almost unnatural luck, ranging from finding money in the streets, to winning free stuff from walking into stores, free meals from eating establishments and more. And then, without rhyme or reason, he happened upon a golden coin that he took as his good luck charm, and often referring to it and Lady Luck to aid in difficult choices like with that Natsuhi woman. And so far, putting his faith in Lady Luck has treated him very well.

His musing was broken when he finally arrived at his old classroom. And was happy to say that he wouldn't be missing it upon graduation. Sure he had left a Blood clone in his place, but he was sure to occasionally drop in and interact with his classmates. And he was certain that Iruka Umino had it out for him due to his status as the Kyuubi Jinchuuriki. The blonde opened the door and all eyes turned to him, several mouths dropping as they looked at his seat... where his Blood clone dressed in a horrible orange jumpsuit was sitting.

"Wha? Naruto? How... what's the meaning of this?" Iruka asked in confusion as he looked between the two Narutos. The orange clad one got up from his seat and gave a salute before snapping his own neck and then melting into a puddle of crimson goo making numerous fangirls shriek in disgust.

"That's the meaning. Guess its high time to explain myself. The 'Naruto' who was a mentally challenged individual with a need for attention, and can only scream 'Ramen', 'Hokage' and 'Believe it', was just a Blood clone I had stand in for me while I trained under the tutelage of some friends of mine. Now I'm here for real to take my final exam." The blonde briefly explained, earning a look of anger from the Chunin teacher.

"Wha, but... that's cheating! You can't just use a Stand-in like that and then show up for the exams when its convenient for you!" the Scarred Chunin tried to argue while the blonde calmly took his seat and then propped his feet up on the desk, pulling a deck of cards from his pocket and began to shuffle them in his hands.

"Says who? There's no law preventing the usage of a Blood-clone in class, and seeing as how it was indeed 'me', then its fine. And the term 'cheating' is a relative and not to mention useless term for Shinobi, since absolutely anything goes in a career that can get you killed if you aren't prepared. Queen of Hearts says... I shall pass with flying colors." The blonde spoke and then pulled out a Queen of Hearts before putting it back in the deck.

"You wanna argue about it Iruka? Go right ahead and get the Sandaime involved if you want. See what happens." the blonde stated with a chuckle, making the teacher grumble since he knew that the aged Hokage would take the boy's side anyway. Instead he began to hand out the needed exam papers to the students so that they may begin the written portion.

Instead of getting to work on his exam paper, the blonde seemed more interested in folding his exam paper up into some kind of origami figure making some of his classmates wonder if Naruto was crazy. And if the one they were all familiar with was just a clone... what was different about the 'Real' Naruto.

"Hey! Uzumaki! You got cats with you or something?" Kiba called out followed by a small bark from his canine companion since the two had caught the scents of multiple felines on the blonde's person. And as if on cue, six cats came crawling out from the inside of the Whiskered teen's coat and sat on his desk. Some of them grooming themselves while the strawberry blonde one flopped on the desk to take a cat nap. The one with light blue fur however seemed to be giving the teachers some kind of Death glare, almost daring the two to try something.

After a few minutes, the blonde boy had created a paper replica of Iruka himself... and then crushed its head between his fingers. The message not going unnoticed by the Scarred Chunin who could only gulp nervously in response. After a few more minutes the written exam was over so it was now time to move onto the Taijutsu portion.

Naruto was the first to get up and head outside, with his numerous cats following close behind him and hissing at anyone that dared get too close to him. The varying students began to gather around the sparring area, though gave the Whiskered teen a wide berth since it seemed like his cats would not allow anyone to get within six feet of him without letting out some threatening hisses or growls.

"Umm... Naruto? What's with all the cats?" Ino Yamanaka asked with a smile sweat-drop since the blue colored one wearing a military cap kept giving her nasty looks.

"Oh them? They're my Familiars. Be careful, they're pretty powerful in a fight." The whiskered teen simply stated as he crouched down and began affectionately petting the cats who all greedily soaked up the attention and gave their approval with a chorus of loud purring.

Ignoring this adorable scene, Iruka called out to the class "Okay then everyone, for the Taijutsu test, you either need to last five minutes in the ring with either myself or Mizuki, or force us out of the arena. While you won't necessarily fail if you can't meet these conditions, it'll certainly affect your final grade which determines what team you'll be put on." The Scarred Chunin explained earning some nods of understanding from the students.

One by one the students took their turns facing off against the teachers, Naruto honestly found it a little funny when the teachers would simply chuck the fangirls out almost immediately. Though to be honest, he didn't find any of the fights particularly interesting since he already knew and studied the various clans taught their children. The Interceptor Fist and Gentle Fist to the Uchiha's and Hyuuga's, in that order, for example. Both Taijutsu styles relied heavily on the clan's respective Bloodline ability to maximize effectiveness.

When Naruto saw that it was Sakura's turn against Mizuki, he decided to pull one of his many tricks on the silver haired man. "Hey, Sakura. You seem rather quiet today." The whiskered teen spoke as he approached the pinkette, one of his cats, a black one wearing an adorable witches hat now perched on his shoulder with a cheeky smile on its face.

"Yeah..." Sakura responded in a distracted tone, trying to cross her arms to hide some bruising on them which didn't go unnoticed by the blonde. He scratched his cheek for a moment and then whispered something into her ear, which caused her to perk up in curiosity... and then like the strike of a match, her eyes now had red hot flames in them. "MIZUKI! YOU SICK BASTARD PEDO TEACHER!" she screamed and then launched herself in the air, sending a kick that cut through the air like a scythe. Her foot slamming hard into the Silver haired man's face which sent him flying out of the ring.

"Divine Feminine fury. A strange phenomena where a female gains a sudden and inexplicable surge of power that can defeat those stronger than themselves. Be careful you don't become a victim of it." The whiskered teen spoke to no one in particular as he inwardly laughed at the unconscious form of Mizuki sprawled out on the ground.

"Erm... Sakura Haruno passes. And since Mizuki is now... unavailable, I shall test the remaining students myself." the Scarred Chunin sighed as he placed his clipboard on the ground, fortunately there were now only two students remaining. Sasuke Uchiha, the golden boy and Rookie of the year... and Naruto Uzumaki, the Dead-last and cheater.

The Uchiha was the first to be called up, and the match began on Iruka's signal. The self-proclaimed Avenger immediately began throwing a barrage of punches which seemed to be forcing the Chunin back step by step towards a ring-out. A small chuckling noise came from the blue cat as she spoke "That Iruka guy isn't putting up any real fight. Hell, he isn't even using a proper defense."

"No kidding. Sasuke's always been the class favorite. Bet that wouldn't be the case if there were more Uchiha's around. Shame Mikoto-san didn't make it, she was nice to me back in the day. Anyways General, I'm counting on you and the others to make sure that Iruka doesn't try and cheat me." The blonde replied with a toothy grin, prompting the blue cat referred to as 'General' to adjust her cap and give a small salute in confirmation.

Focusing their attention back on the 'fight' it seemed that Iruka stepped out of bounds, thus it was now Sasuke's victory. Leaving Naruto the last student left to fight against the teacher. The whiskered teen stepped inside the ring and noted that Iruka's stance was different than with Sasuke. This time it seemed he had taken a much more serious and prepared stance to fight the blonde with. However, Naruto already anticipated that the Chunin wouldn't fight fair anyway. And muttered to himself "Maximum effort."

With a flick of his wrist, the blonde's lucky golden coin appeared between his fingers. "Heads, I win. Tails, you lose." the blonde spoke and then flipped the coin in the air, causing Iruka's eyes to instinctively follow the movements of the coin. However the light of the sun reflected off the coin, blinding the Chunin as he brought his hands up to shield his face. This gave Naruto the opening he needed to dash forward and send his knee directly into Iruka's crotch. The scarred Chunin's eye's bugged out, almost as if they were about to pop out of their sockets.

Naruto then slammed his shoulder into Iruka, knocking the stunned Chunin out of the ring. The blonde then held out his open palm allowing the coin to fall flat into his hand, prompting him to look at which side the coin landed on and spoke triumphantly "Tails. You lose."

The Chunin's face burned crimson from both outrage and from the pain in his loins as he cupped his crotch, trying to ease the pain. "Foul! I call foul! You cheated! You used the sunlight reflected off the coin to distract me!" The Chunin shouted angrily, pointing an accusatory finger at the blonde.

"I don't know what you're talking about. All I did was flip a coin. You being blinded was just a lucky accident. And stop whining, nobody likes a sore loser." Naruto replied with a snarky tone, earning some laughter from the class since it was kinda funny to see Iruka in such a state. While it wasn't exactly sporting to strike a blow before the belt, 'fair play' was irrelevant to Shinobi anyway.

After a few minutes, Iruka managed to get his second wind and Mizuki had regained consciousness, allowing for the class to move onto the Ninjutsu portion of the exam. The students retreating back inside the Academy and lining up in the hallway to await their turns for the final and most important piece of the exam, the Ninjutsu portion which was the true make-or-break part.

Naruto stood patiently in line, casually flipping his coin while his cats remained nestled inside the pockets of his trench coat, making everyone wonder how the blonde was able to walk around with the cats hiding inside his coat, or how the coat was able to support the collective weight of all the cats. "So Naruto... that Blood clone and its goofy over-the-top retarded nature was all an act?" Ino asked out of curiosity, finding that the 'real' Naruto's personality to be far more laid-back and cool.

"Correct. You ever hear of a long con? I purposefully made the Blood clone act like a hapless loser for two whole years to establish the ruse that I was a weakling, while I trained under the four Ice Queens of Konoha and within the Forest of Death. Now that my training has finished, I look forward to moving up, meeting new people and learning new things about being a Ninja." the cat lover replied with a chuckle and gave his fellow blonde a small wink, earning a tiny blush from her.

"Wow. You played everyone good. I kinda like the 'real' you. I hope we work together in the future sometime." she spoke while clasping her hands behind her back, a bright smile on her face.

"Paws off sister! He's ours! And no skinny little fangirl is taking Naruto-sama from us!" yelled a voice from inside the jacket making Ino's eyes widen a bit, realizing that one of the cats had just talked.

"Remember. Familiars. They can talk. And don't mind them. They're just being possessive." The whiskered teen spoke with a shake of his head, already dismissing the attitude of his felines making Ino nod a bit, though still found it surprising that the cats had learned to talk like a human. Still... stranger things existed within the Elemental Nations she supposed.

After that brief conversation, Mizuki poked his head out and called for Naruto to come into the classroom to take his Ninjutsu test, prompting the blonde to shrug his shoulders and mutter "Maximum effort." before entering the classroom with his hands in his outer coat pockets. Inside, the form of Iruka was sitting behind his desk, the sounds of ice crackling each time he moved, all the while glaring at the blonde's form.

"All right then Naruto. Do a Substitution technique." The Scarred Chunin bluntly demanded, not even wasting any time to get this show on the road. Once again, the blonde had a feeling that Iruka wouldn't play fair. Fortunately, he already knew of a means of turning the tables. With a snap of his fingers, the blonde vanished in a puff of smoke... and in his place was the Sandaime Hokage, sitting in his chair while reading from a familiar orange book.

The aged Hokage then looked up and saw that he was no longer in the normal surroundings of his office "Wha? Where am I? How the hell did I get here?" Hiruzen blubbered in a fit of confusion, only for Naruto to reappear and tap the aged man on the shoulder making him jump slightly in his seat.

"Chill old man, I decided to use a Substitution jutsu to replace you, with myself so that you could bear witness to my victory in the exam." the whiskered teen proudly stated with a grin, the explaination putting the Hokage at ease as he took a deep breath and relaxed himself.

"Naruto-kun, you amaze me. Replacing yourself with another person over such a distance is quite an accomplishment with the Substitution jutsu. And since I'm here, I might as well bear witness to what comes next." The Sandaime replied with obvious pride in his voice, making the whiskered teen give a Victory sign with his fingers.

"Okaaaaaay, umm, perform a Transformation this time." Iruka requested in a more polite tone since the Hokage was now present. The whiskered teen crossed his arms for a moment, wondering what he should transform into.

"Any requests? This is an exam right? Isn't it supposed to be kinda challenging?" Naruto asked since the Henge was a rather boring technique unless you used it to transform into a nude girl to prank some perverted asshole and make him pass out or potentially die from a nose bleed.

"Try transforming into my student Tsunade. I recall showing you her picture a while ago." The Sandaime offered, prompting the Jinchuuriki to nod and snap his fingers, changing into the form of the busty Sannin wearing her battle armor from the Shinobi wars. And then changed back into his normal form.

"Last one, perform the Clone Jutsu." Mizuki stated forming a fake smile on his face that gave the whiskered teen a feeling of illness. With a sigh, the blonde performed a singular hand-sign and spoke "Shadow Clone Jutsu" creating at least twenty perfect replicas of himself with their hands lazily clasped behind their heads with some bored expressions.

"You fail." Was Iruka's response, which seemed far too quick to fly out of his mouth, making the Sandaime raise an eyebrow.

"Now just a moment, Naruto-kun just performed a clone technique that even I, the Hokage, have difficulty using due to its high chakra usage. If anything, the boy shouldn't just be allowed to pass but also be labeled Rookie of the year for mastering a jutsu like that at his young age." Hiruzen stated as he put away his book and gave the Chunin teacher a hardened glare, not liking the man's obvious bias against the boy.

"The rules clearly state that in the Ninjutsu exam, a student must make a viable set of clones with, the basic Clone Jutsu. Since Naruto didn't use that jutsu, he cannot pass." The Scarred Chunin replied coldly, shuffling in his seat which caused the ice pack to make some more noises at his crotch.

Before the Sandaime could protest and flex his authority, Naruto pulled out a book on Konoha laws from seemingly nowhere and began to read from it "Chapter one: Academy rules. Page 99, paragraph 4. Students with advanced Chakra reserves are permitted to be taught and use advanced clone techniques in the Graduation exam if unable to perform Clone Jutsu due to their inability to use such small amounts of Chakra for this basic Jutsu. With both you and Mizuki being Academy teachers, you should have known that." the blonde stated at the end, snapping the book shut.

"Yes. They should have. Iruka Umino? Mizuki? You're both fired as Academy teachers. You'll be performing gate guard duty for the next six months... without pay! And Naruto-kun? You have utterly impressed me the past two years with your progress in training under the Ice Queens and the innovative usage of a Blood clone replacement, and I am proud to name you an official Genin of Konoha and Rookie of the Year." The Sandaime announced and took the black headband reserved for the Academy's top Rookie.

"What?! You can't just do that! He cheated his way into all this! And you knew he was cheating?" Iruka protested angrily, only to shrink in his seat as the Sandaime glared at him.

"And I am the Hokage! When it comes to Shinobi matters, I get the final say. And of course I knew! Who do you think set Naruto-kun up to train under all Four Ice Queens for the past two years? And I allowed Naruto-kun some leeway to ensure he would grow and learn to be a Shinobi through hands-on lessons instead of letting his talents go to waste in a classroom. And I am very pleased to see I made the right choice. And I warn you now, one more misstep, and I will strip you both of your headbands and have you thrown into prison!" The Hokage warned them, making the two Chunin gulp nervously.

"Appreciate it old man. I look forward to Team Assignments. Could be fun." The blonde stated as he vanished in a swirl of leaves, making the Hokage shake his head in amusement. In the background, Mizuki was fuming a bit, however a light bulb then blinked over his head as he got an idea. He then grinned as he knew of someone else he could sucker into assisting him.

Later.

The sun was going down as Natsuhi hid in an alleyway, a cold wing blowing past her making her shiver. She then heard the sounds of footsteps approaching her and found it to be the same blonde boy from earlier, now with a Konoha headband tied to his left arm and he was carrying a bag filled with some groceries. "Told you I'd find you. Don't tell me you planned on sleeping in an alley." the blonde boy spoke with a chuckle.

"I'm a Rogue Kunoichi on the run. I can't exactly check myself into a hotel right now." she muttered bitterly, and then her stomach began to grumble making her blush a bit in embarrassment.

"Uh oh. Someone is hungry. Come on. My place isn't too far away. You can stay with me for a bit till you work out a plan." The blonde offered with a warm smile and then gestured for her to follow him. She looked at him with suspicion in her eyes, wondering what his game was.

"You're just going to let a stranger into your home? Why? You don't even know me." Natsuhi stated bluntly as she slowly got up from her spot with narrowed eyes.

"Sure I am. I have a pretty good bullshit detector, which is why I'm good at poker. And I don't think you're a bad person. Now come on already! Unless you want to sleep out here with the rats and rapists? Konoha's home to lots of perverse bastards." The blonde asked with a grin, though it didn't take much more convincing to make the rogue Kunoichi nod her head and follow the boy to his apartment.

It didn't take very long for them to arrive, after fishing out his key and unlocking the door, the blonde ushered his new guest inside. Before she could enter, all of the blonde's feline companions started jumping out from inside his trench coat and scattered about the apartment, the scene making the purple haired woman's eyes widen a bit as she asked "Were those cats in your coat the whole time? How'd you hide them all?"

"I have pocket dimensions in my coat." The blonde answered which earned a 'ba-dum tsh' sound coming from the next room, which made Natsuhi blink her eyes a few times and wonder if she was just punked. Naruto shook his head in amusement and spoke to his new guest "Feel free to take a shower or borrow some of Anko's sleep wear. She won't be back for some time anyway. I'll get to cooking. Hopie you like spaghetti, and I know how to make some tasty meatballs that'll melt in your mouth."

With a small nod, Natsuhi placed her duffel bag on the floor since she didn't sense any ill intentions from the boy quickly found the bed room area to retrieve some clothes to wear when she left the shower. "This Anko you mentioned, she your sister?" Natsuhi called out as the blonde put a pot of water on the boil and began to arrange the ingredients.

"In a way. I was an Orphan and Anko always helped take care of me. She let me move into her apartment since my old one was falling apart at the seams. We've been best friends for as long as I can remember." he briefly answered as he continued his work in the kitchen, and then his ears perked up on hearing the shower running.

"Mmm. This woman has a nice figure. I believe she might be what's called a MILF." spoke the sultry voice of a black cat with golden eyes as she rubbed her form against the Blonde's leg.

"No kidding. But please, don't distract me. Cooking is a delicate art that mustn't be disrupted. Why don't you all go prowl the village and see if there's anything suspicious to be found." The blonde asked with a small wink, prompting his cats to all salute and began to file out of the apartment through a kitty door installed in the apartment's door.

Some minutes later, Naruto began to set dinner on the table and his guest Natsuhi appeared wearing some shorts and a T-shirt that said 'The devil made me do it'. "Your friend Anko has... interesting taste." The Star Kunoichi spoke, gesturing to the shirt.

"Anko can be rather impulsive, loud, and often crazy, but she's loyal and loving. Couldn't ask for a better friend, maybe more someday, but I digress. Please, sit and eat. You look starved." the whiskered teen spoke as he pulled out her chair for her making the purple haired woman chuckle a bit as she took her place at the table.

"Such a gentleman. You seem to be exceptionally talented at everything you do, you can cook, and you managed to pickpocket my headband earlier without me noticing." She noted and then clapped her hands muttering 'Itadakimassu' before digging into her meal. Her eyes widened for a moment and then her body quivered in delight as she moan at the flavors filling her mouth.

"Well, in my younger years I had to live alone and learn to take care of myself, plus Anko taught me a few tricks to cooking as she trained me in the wilds of the Forest of Death. And I learned how to make Origami to help develop nimble fingers, which helped translate into pickpocketing and lockpicking. Some may refer to me as a Gary Stu considering how 'perfect' I supposedly am. But I do have one fatal weakness: Women." he admitted with a sheepish expression.

"That can indeed be fatal if you were to meet an especially dangerous female." She remarked with a chuckle and greedily devoured the plate of spaghetti.

"I'm curious. Whatever is in that duffel bag must be valuable, dangerous, or both. Why'd you take it?" He asked with a thoughtful expression and rested his head on a loosely closed fist.

"It was to protect my son. That's all." She replied with an exhausted sigh, on closer inspection, it seemed like some dark circles were developing beneath her eyes, showing that she hadn't been sleeping well in recent days.

"I see. I won't pry any further than that then. For some reason, I can't help but respect a mother that'd sacrifice so much for her son." He responded and gave a nod of respect to her. Natsuhi finished her meal and then yawned, stretching out her arms which resulted in several popping sounds.

"Damn. You seem pretty stiff. I can help with that." Naruto offered with a warm smile, making the purple haired woman raise an eyebrow in curiosity.

"You also have a talent for massages too?" She asked while crossing one leg over the other, wondering if he was implying something.

"Sadly, I haven't yet mastered the fine art of massaging a woman's body. But there is this thing I do that makes women go weak in the knees." The blonde replied as his tongue briefly snaked out from between his lips, earning a small blush from his guest.

(Lemon start!)

"Well... you only live once right?" she asked herself and gave a small shrug, feeling a certain itch in her loins that needed scratching. And she did owe him for feeding her and letting her stay, so it was a win-win for the both of them. With a nod of affirmation, the blonde teen approached her cupping her face in his hands and then placing a small kiss on her lips.

When they broke it, she had a sly smile on her face, wrapping her arms around his neck as their kisses became a heated makeout session. Getting up from her seat, the two made their way towards the bedroom without their lips breaking apart until Natsuhi shoved the blonde to the bed. Her face flushed crimson as her carnal desires came boiling to the surface.

Natsuhi pulled off her shirt, exposing her large breasts which still maintained a fine and supple shape, and then pushed her shorts down allowing her round and soft ass to break free of its confinement and breath the open air. Naruto wasted no time either as he almost ripped off his own trench coat and shirt. The purplette grabbed his pants and quickly yanked them off, her green eyes widening a bit when she saw his nine inch package making her sensually lick her lips. The sight of it making her wet with anticipation.

She quickly straddled him, rubbing their genitals together, grinding her moistening pussy against his dick which quickly hardened from the stimulation. Taking a deep breath, she raised her hips up and guided his shaft into her mature pussy, and then quickly dropped herself down taking his member all the way to the root making her gasp sharply from the feeling of fullness in her vagina.

After relaxing herself she started to bounce her ass up and down, making it slap hard against Naruto's thighs and balls. The blonde reached up and grabbed her large breasts in his hands, fondling them as she rode his penis like a rodeo champion. Months or even Years of sexual frustration crashed against Natsuhi's body like a tidal wave as she found herself bouncing up and down on a male young enough to be her son, but she didn't care as she lowered herself down, causing her breasts to squish against his chest while he wrapped his arms around her lower back.

The sounds of flesh smacking against flesh could be heard as the two lovers lips were locked together once more with deep and throaty moans escaping from their lips. Unfortunately, Natsuhi's pussy was sensitive due to being deprived of sex for so long, and she was close to reaching her climax now. With a loud scream, she slammed her hips down hard as she climaxed, squirting some hot juices against her new lover's belly. Her vagina tightening around his dick which prompted him to climax as well, his member shooting hot and thick seed deep into her womb making her feel a warmth she hadn't felt in years.

Rolling off of the blonde teenager she sighed in both contentment and exhaustion since she couldn't ever remember having such an orgasm in her life. Not even with her late husband. Naruto held out a cigarette to her, making her shrug as she accepted it, placing it between her lips and allowing him to light it for her with a match. She took a drag from it, allowing smoke to fill her lungs before exhaling deeply, blowing out smoke from her mouth. "Damn I needed this. I don't usually sleep around, much less with males young enough to be my son." she muttered as she took another drag.

"Sorry for busting a nut inside you. That gonna be a problem I need to prepare for?" He asked with a raised eyebrow, hoping he hadn't accidentally sired a child just yet.

"Nah. Don't worry about it. I'm not going to be popping out kids anytime soon." She reassured him with a small smile and gently patted his head. "Still, I gotta know. This a one-time thing, or is it going to be something else?" She asked out of curiosity since she didn't really know what to expect from the newly minted Genin.

"For now, how about friends with benefits? I help you, you help me. And when we want, we rut like animals in heat. Sound fair?" He asked with a small smile, earning a nod of agreement from the Mature Kunoichi.

"I have no objections. Hope you're ready for round two. Because I have a lot of pent up frustration that needs to be worked out of my system." She responded and snuffed out the cigarette with a saucy grin, straddling the blonde once more and took his shaft in her hand to stroke him back to full mast.

"As my mistress commands." He replied with a low moan. Very eager for a long night of sex with his new lover Natsuhi.

Meanwhile.

"Hn. So this scroll has lots of powerful Jutsu , eh? There must be plenty of techniques that could help me become strong enough to kill HIM." Muttered the form of Sasuke Uchiha as he prepared to read the contents of the Forbidden scroll... only to hear what sounded like footsteps. Looking up, the Uchiha saw the form of Mizuki approaching him, and the Avenger gave a small smirk.

"You were right. This thing was exactly where you said it'd be. Seems a waste to have so many Jutsu in one scroll and not use any of them. They'll be very useful in my hands." Sasuke spoke in approval, but then gained a confused expression when he noticed that the Chunin's eyes were rolled into his head and he seemed to be covered in claw marks. The silver haired man then limply fell to the ground as a number of cats appeared around him. It was the same ones that the Dobe had with him earlier today.

"Ah-ha! Suspicious indeed! Whatcha doing with that scroll bouya? Don't you know that thing has high-level Jutsu? If a Greenhorn like you were to use them, you'd die of Chakra exhaustion." Spoke a black cat with golden eyes, with a toothy grin on her face.

"Blaire-sama thinks we should let him croak! This village doesn't need a spoilt brat like him for a Ninja." spoke a black cat wearing a witches hat.

"Truuuuuue, but if he were to die... then we would no longer be able to torture and torment him. After all, to live is to suffer, right?" Spoke the blue cat as she held up one of her paws and showed off her claws which glistened in the moonlight.

"Hn. I don't think you know who you're dealing with. For I am Sasuke Uchiha, an Elite..." The Self-proclaimed Avenger spoke, but was cut off when the crimson cat pounced on his face and began scratchin away, making the duck haired boy scream and yell out in pain. The other cats then quickly joined in and began to use the Uchiha as a living scratching post.

"OW! OW! WHY DO CAT CLAWS HURT SO MUCH?!" the Uchiha screamed out in pain, which earned the sinister laughter of a gang of felines that quite enthusiastically dug their claws into his flesh. Later on in history, this event would later be known as 'The Great Cat Caper' which foiled the theft of the Forbidden Scroll.

End Chapter.

A/N: Hello fans! I hope you enjoyed this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it. I wanted to make the Lemon a bit longer, but honestly, I'm not much good with them. Besides, I'll try not to make lemons a big thing. Anyways, I'll try to work on either the next chapter for this, or for Toxic Love. Also... I put up a number of my stories for adoption, so please take a look and PM me for details.

Suggestions for Harem and such things are always welcome. Feedback and constructive criticism too.