Space Invasion

It was nighttime in Royal Woods, yet not even the peaceful slumber hours were spared of the Loud House sibling chaos. While his sisters were jammed in the family bathroom, Lincoln managed to sneak some toothpaste to his room. He was going to enjoy another night of solitude, only to be interrupted by-

Lynn, "You're always Miss Gloom and Doom! Like, would it kill you to smile once in a while?!"

And Lucy, "It would."

Lincoln couldn't concentrate on himself due to the noise, so he went to the gathering spot to view the commotion, "What's going on?"

"Lucy and Lynn are going at it," Lori complained, "Again."

"I'd make a joke about fighting," Luan quipped, "but I can't think of a good punchline. Hahahahahaha! Get it? Get it?"

Lisa took out a voice recorder, "Human subjects seem to be proving Charles Darwin correct."

"I can't bare to watch!" Leni reached for something to cover her eyes. She pulled out two cucumber slices and planted them on her eyes, "That's better."

A jock strap suddenly came flying out of the room. Luckily, the others ducked in time to avoid it.

"I'd hate to get in the middle of this one," Lori muttered.

Lincoln smiled, "I totally agree."

He went back to his room. And not two minutes after was he interrupted by a knock at his door. He sighed and opened up. It was Lynn, holding her pillow.

"Hey, Lynn. What's up?"

"There's no way I'm staying in the same room with the Duchess of Darkness. Can I bunk in your bedroom tonight?"

Lincoln tried to sway her away, "Uh...I'd say yes, but it's not really a bedroom, per se. There's barely enough space for me; tiny, small, cramped."

"Ugh..." Lynn groaned, downtrodden, "I guess I'll just go sleep in the bathtub."

"That's a great idea! Problem solved. Goodnight."

Right before he closed the door, he saw Lynn make a sad baby doll eyed face.

"Aah..." He could enjoy one more night of peace, but Lynn's sad eyes and plea for a companion outweighed his personal needs. He sighed and opened the door, "All right, you can stay. But just for one night."

Lynn became elated, "Thanks, Lincoln!" She busted out a fist and made him flinch. "Two for flinching!" She playfully punched his arm twice and went on in, laughing.

Lincoln rubbed his shoulder, worried of the forthcoming chaos that was sure to rob him of his sleep, "It's just for one night. What's the worst that could happen?"

Well, she messed with his stuff, wrestled him, and moved her habits to his room, ball bouncing and loud snoring and excessive drooling. The worst that could, and did, was after she farted.

-POOOOOT-

"Hahahahahaaaaahahahahahahahaa!"

"Ugh! Lynn!"

Lynn suddenly pulled the covers over him, "DUTCH OVEN!"

Lincoln screamed and bashed away trying to find a way out, but in the midst of all the flailing and gasping for any bit of fresh air he could grab...he did get something fresh. Somehow, his hand found its way to her butt. She was too busy laughing so he withdrew the hand before she could notice.

After all that, she finally decided to turn it in for the night, "Goodnight, Lincoln."

"Goodnight..." he breathed, agonized by the amount of gas he was forced to take in. He had himself a couple deep breaths, and that was enough to send him to the cloud.

That cloud was the best he had ever been on. Softer and smoother than a silk blanket, he buried his entire face in it, then ran into a giant slide of soft fluffy goodness. He went down face first, allowing every single freckle on him to get a taste of the gentle touch. At the bottom of the slide, he slammed into a pillow mountain. He cuddled up with every pillow in his reach. He laughed because he loved every moment, and he didn't want it to end. But among those pillows, he found something that shattered his fantasy: a gym sock. And another thing: these pillows were red. He wondered what he just played with, but when he looked around, he saw the "cloud" for what it really was.

He had slid down Lynn's butt. Buried every inch of his face in it. Either he shrunk or she became a giant; that didn't matter because he needed to get off quickly, but the pillows sprang to life and pinned him down. He couldn't break free. He prepared for the worst. He saw the gigantic head slowly creak its eyes toward the poor boy.

"Heheheh...duuutch ooooveeeen..."

The "cloud" began to rumble. A pair of giant sneakers came down and sealed him from the outside world. Everything became dark, until... the entire place crumbled, and then a foul odor dominated the cavern-

-BRBRBRBRBRBRB-

"AAAAA!" Lincoln screamed, "PLEASE DON'T A FOR DAY THAT WE HAD TO THE NEXT-huh?"

He was back in his room. And Lynn was still deep in her sleep...Too deep. Her pillow was drenched in drool and her snoring was too obnoxious to ignore. He spent five minutes trying to put himself to sleep, but the snoring...and the nightmare...forced him to find solace elsewhere. Where else but the bathtub?

Halfway through the night and he still couldn't sleep, not with the threat of the dream playing all the way to the end. He just didn't understand. All he did was touch her butt. Once. How did he get that kind of dream just an hour after? It was just one hand on her...soft...supple...he doesn't even think she had proper shorts on, just athletic underwear...he thought it would be rock solid since she was a super athlete, but no. It was-

"No!" Lincoln slapped himself, "Get a grip, Lincoln. She's your sister. Sis. Ter. You shouldn't think that way about a sibling." He kept repeating that same thought until he lulled himself to sleep.

The next couple days were spent trying to get Lynn out. He confided his plan in Clyde, who could only offer encouragement as he mapped out his exact plan of attack. He kept reminding himself that he should only think about getting Lynn back with Lucy, and not...that. Unfortunately, his plan backfired; Lynn laughed at his impression of Lucy, and the next night she admired his dirty tactics with his wrestling match. But after that, things just got worse.

Lincoln waited for the opportune moment to let out a really big fart on Lynn. She woke up disturbed.

He quickly jumped the covers over her, "DUTCH OVEN!"

Lynn screamed and scrambled to find any opening. She forced her eyes open to find any weak spots on her brother. That's when she saw it.

A pitched tent big enough to fit ten, and the bigger they are, the harder they fall. She tried to grab it to force his hand, but he pulled the blanket off before she could reach it. She retreated at the last minute.

"That is it!" She left the room furious about losing that round to Lincoln. If she had just one more second, she could've yanked little Lincoln out. But the more she dwelled on it, the more she came to enjoy the moment. She rammed her old door open and startled Lucy.

"Gasp...how dare you befoul this sacred-"

"Relax, Your Majesty. I'll just get my stuff and I'll be outta your emo."

Lynn made very short work of her belongings and slammed the door shut and hauled everything to Lincoln's room, much to his dismay, "You really are the best roommate ever! I'm moving in! Permanently!"

Ten minutes later, she was noisily asleep, forcing him to flee to the bathtub once again. She had a weird dream of her own. In it, she was playing a joystick shoot-em-up game with Lincoln.

"Come on, loser!" She screamed, "Move that shell!"

"You're gonna eat my pixelated dust!"

Lynn's competitiveness overrode her emotions, and she ended up breaking the controller with one too many button smashes, "What?! Agh, no! Dangit!"

"Woof...that was bad," Lincoln commented, "Good thing I knew this would happen, so I asked Lisa to make me a controller."

"Really? Wow, convenient! So, uh...where is it."

"Well, you're looking at him!"

Lynn was stunted with those words, "Wait, what?"

Lincoln laid himself on the couch and took off his shirt, "Lisa hooked a bracelet on me with a neuro-thingamajig. Just think of me as an extra large, versatile console that doesn't break."

"Oh..." Lynn said uneasily, "Where are the buttons?"

"Here!" Lincoln pointed to his nipples and belly button, "These are the face button and analog button, both multidirectional, and this is the pause button."

"And...Where's the control stick?"

"Down there, and the big red button is on top," Lincoln nonchalantly pointed to his...his.

"Uh...isn't this a little...awkward for you?"

"Don't worry. I won't feel a thing as long as I'm wired to the game. And besides, you tried grabbing it to avenge your defeat last night."

For whatever reason, she just went with it and laughed, "Ok, you sold me." She laughed positioned herself on Lincoln, who had no difficulty using his own small controller. She grabbed the stick and tweaked his...nub, "Alright! Game on, Stinkcoln!"

The game resumed. They barely noticed how they were posing; Lincoln had his body on her lap, and Lynn was making all sorts of gestures, but they were far too invested in their game to notice.

"Dang, Linc. Slack off like that, and I'll ride you all night!"

"Come on! That all you got?!"

"I'll show you what I got!"

"Rrgh, move, dude! Move faster!"

"Hit it hard, bro! It ain't gonna help you!"

"That's it! I'm gonna mess you up!"

"Oh! Oh! Oh! Almost there!"

"Wait! No, nononononono-"

"YEEAAAHHHH!!!!!"

"AGH! Why?!"

"The high score is MINE! Lynn-er, Lynn-er, Chicken Dinner! Bok-bok-bok-b'GAAAAACK!"

"Dangit...I call a rematch!"

"Hah! You couldn't beat me that time! What makes you think you can-" -SNIFF-SNIFF- "Huh. You smell that?"

"Nope, nothing. Now, come on! I'm not done with you!"

"Oho, you're gonna regret-" she grabbed the stick without checking it's condition. It was leaking some kind of fluid, and a certain odor that was...pleasant. A little musky, but still pleasant. She almost wanted to taste it-

"YEAH! Overtaken! Eat your heart out! Whoop-whoop!"

-but her brand new high score was just beaten.

"YOW!" She screamed, "HOOZNWATSITS! WINNING STEAKS ARE...in...dan...ger?" She was back in Lincoln's room...alone, "Hey, where did...ah, poop." She was too tired to look, so she put her pillow on her head and slammed back down. That's when that same smell permeated the blanket. This smell was manlier than the smell from her dream. She found the source of the smell, where Lincoln lay before he left. She was about to rub her face in every corner of the bed-

"No!" She grabbed her pillow, "Bad Lynn!" -PFF- "Bad Lynn!" -PFF- "Bad Lynn!" -PFF- "No! He is your brother. Bro. Ther. You can't get him all up in your grill! You need to be a good big sister to him...Ok, that came out wrong...as did that."

She dunked her head back on her pillow. Fifteen minutes she tried to get some sleep, but the faint odor continued to tickle her nose.

"Dang monkey fighting, cud chewing..." she couldn't take it and walked out, "I shouldn't have tried to grab that...blech..."

She remembered something about sleeping in the bathroom, so she went there to find Lincoln. Sure enough, she found him in the bathtub trying to stay warm with Bun-bun. She thought he looked adorable sleeping with-

"Nuh-uh. Not going there," she reminded herself. Yet she needed to talk to someone, so since she thought he was fast asleep...

"Psst...Lincoln...Lincoln..." she repeatedly poked his ear. No response.

"Hey...Inkin..."she kept poking him, but all he did was turn his head. She just shrugged and went ahead with her piece, "So, uh...funny story. One of my friends has a sister who...had this weird dream, ok? And this dream involved...a certain body part...a man's lower head. She says her sister just took one teeny tiny look at it...you know, big bulge in the pants and everything, and...I'm the dream, she couldn't stop touching it. She kept going and going, and even when she got it to...burst... she didn't wanna stop. In fact, she wanted to do more. She wanted to do a lot more, but she's scared of what could happen. You wouldn't happen to have any advice, would you?"

She stared at his still sleeping state. She had a huge urge to join him and snuggle him, but she managed to fight it back.

"Good talk, Linc. Good talk," she said as she walked back to his room.

Little did she know that Lincoln was awake the entire time. He wanted to get away from the noise and settle himself in the uncomfortable cold surface once again, but she induced an even more rancorous dream inside his brain, this time keeping him awake.

Lynn came back on his bed, once again encountering the familiar odor. "Ugh...this ain't gonna stop, is it?...yuh-huh," she grabbed her hockey stick, "Ok, something about star-crossed lovers, forbidden romance, some lame valentine puns, blahblahblahblah-" -SMACK- She conked herself out.

It did work, but she woke up the next morning to that same odor. "Mmm...wow, that was so good...hey, why's it feel so-GET AWAY!" She had slept in Lincoln's spot and basically embedded the odor into her shirt, "Nope, nope, nope, baaaaaaad Lynn..." she quickly scanned the room for any possible distraction. She lucked out when she noticed Lucy's book of poems, "Huh...must've snagged this by accident. Well, whatever works!" She grabbed the book and flipped through the many poems hidden from her sisters' eyes for so long. Then she came across a peculiar sounding piece:

Mystery Box

-Could it be sunshine? Could it be dismay?

-"You never know," is what they say.

-Desires gone under, morals torn asunder,

-I can only hope and pray.

"Oh..." Lynn sighed. She now missed Lucy's company as much as she enjoyed Lincoln's. Lucy was the only person who could make sense of the weird emotions she's going through.

"Good morning, Lynn," Lincoln's voice suddenly pierced the room.

"Book of Lucy's poems?" Lynn threw the book away, "What book of Lucy's poems?" The book ricocheted off the wall and hit her head, making Lincoln curious.

Just from seeing Lucy with the tennis ball and Lynn with the poems book, Lincoln reasoned that they missed each other as roommates, which gave him the perfect excuse to get them back together and out of his hair.

That night, Lincoln had set up a private apology dinner for Lucy and Lynn. While it got off to a rocky start, they somehow made it work, albeit in a fun, messy way. Lincoln had to give up some of his personal space for one more night due to Lynn and Lucy's room being a catastrophe. And for once, he was able to withstand the snoring and get a good night's sleep.

But the resultant dream joined him and Lynn in a cinema.

"Come on, come on!" Lincoln banged his fists on the bathroom door, "What's taking so long?!"

"Sorry, dude! You know how derbies roll!" Lynn exited the bathroom after twenty minutes, "WHEW! I pity the fools who have bathroom duty tonight, heheheh!"

"Yep..." Lincoln got a tiny whiff of the foul stench, "Me too..."

"Last one there buys and butters the popcorn!"

"Wait up!"

They were supposed to watch Ace Savvy rescue Strong Suit from being converted into a villain. But by some sheer intervention of unknown entities, they missed the theater that showed the move, and ran right into the one beside it...which was showing a Rated-R knockoff.

The room was pitch black and empty. Only the big screen and two seats occupied the massive space.

"Huh...thought there'd be a little bigger crowd..." Lynn commented as she inspected the area.

Lincoln started getting flashbacks, "Uh, maybe we should go before-"

The door slammed shut. Lincoln body slammed it, but it wouldn't budge. He found the door was locked from the outside, "HELP! ANY ORGAN DONORS OUT THERE THAT CAN LEND SOMEONE SOME MORE MUSCLE! AAAAA!"

"Pipe down, Har-man," Lynn tossed a remote in the air, "It's just me. This thing comes in real handy now that I think about it!"

Lincoln tiptoed toward the remote, "Ok...maybe you should let me have it in case-"

Lynn swiped it even further away from him, "Hah! Finders keepers, Stinko-" and accidentally turned the screen on at the worst possible scene.

The screen showed Strong Suit being overrun by her sudden affection with Ace Savvy right after rescuing her from certain doom. He thought she contracted a disease, so he rested her on a hotel bed. And then he was overwhelmed with emotion too.

Lynn and Lincoln just stood there and watched the scene unfold.

"What in the..."

"Are they..."

Once they saw both heroes strip down-

"AAAAA!" They woke up, grabbed their pillows and tried to beat the dream out of them. They stopped when they realized it wasn't going anywhere.

"So..." Lincoln asked, "Did you-"

"No!" Lynn blushed, "I wasn't in the theater!"

"Day dreaming about..."

"Naw, man! It's that dumb comic book that's infected my mind."

"One too many pictures..."

"Yeah...Yeah, that's it! Nothing out of the ordinary here!"

They both shared a small laugh before they decided to put it to rest.

"Well, I gotta big day tomorrow. Better get some shut eye while I still can."

"Me, too. That tetherball streak ain't gonna keep itself."

"Right. Good night."

"Love you, Linc."

"Wuzzat?"

"Nothing! Nothing..."