AN: Please give me prompts. I like prompts. I like writing prompts. I love hearing whatever you want me to do with these guys. I want to reach 285 rules at least. I would appreciate it if you guys could help.

This one's the bona-fide pure crack chapter. Rules resume next time.

Enjoy.

Ru-

"Wait!" Alexi interrupted The Story. "I need more tea."

The Story sighed. 'Can you not wait until I've finished announcing Rule 195?'

"No, it cannot. I need my tea, you heathen. Praise to the tea gods."

'Praise to the tea gods.' The Story rubbed the bridge of its nose. 'Fine. Don't take too long.'

Alexi took six hours.

'What!' The Story yelled. 'Why would you need that long!'

"Tea is a very important chemistry. Any one mistake, and it's undrinkable. Now fuck off. I need to add the ground apricot seeds."

'WHAT! APRICOT SEEDS! WHY WOULD YOU NEED APRICOT SEEDS?'

"Why must you speak in all Caps?"

The Story glared at her.

"Fine. There's a certain taste in the seeds-"

'That gets converted into cyanide-'

"No, not the Amygdalin. It's something else, and it tastes just magnificent. And it's a moot point anyways. I'm immune to cyanide."

The Story sighed. 'Okay. You're immune to cyanide.'

"Really? I mean yes! I'm definitely immune to cyanide. I totally didn't say that just so you would say it and thus make it true. That would be completely bending the laws of nature."

'The fifth Star Trek movie has Spock meet God and it's not considered canon. If Gene Roddenberry can bend the laws of nature to that degree, then of course an amateur fanfiction write would be able to.'

Alexi sipped her tea. "Provided said Fanfiction writer isn't an idiot." She took another sip and her nose scrunched up. "Hey, Story-"

'My name's The Story!'

"Sorry, The Story. Could you make some bubblegum pop up, please? I feel like it would be really good with bubblegum."

'...'

"Are ya gonna do it?"

...

'… What flavour?'

"Surprise me."

It was mint. A very strong mint, strong enough to make her eyes water and her tongue burn.

"Oh, yeah!" Alexi coughed and saw her breath. "This is exactly what I needed."

'Can we get on with the List now, please?'

"No. I need a break."

'Where are you going?'

"Fiji. I've never been there before, and I think it might be kind of interesting."

The Story was kind of sick of being The Story. 'I think I need a vacation, too. Mind taking me with you?'

"Sure. But Boss might object to it."

The Admiral was already in Fiji.

(Of course, no one knew this before The Story made it so. In fact, he was on a date and eating a lovely steak with his wife, and then the timeline was changed and he was sipping on a pina colada with his wife in the beach chair next to his.)

"Are you sure, because it seems like-"

No one questioned The Story's judgement.

So Alexi didn't either.

Logic.

Alexi didn't talk for the entire time they were on route to Fiji.

But she did sing and yodel like Japeth, the mountain goat from Hoodwinked.

"Thirty-seven seconds ago, The Story done put a spell on me..."