V.C.: Hello readers. V.C. welcomes you to the next installment of this crazy story.
Phoenix:(Rolls eyes) Oh, it's crazy alright.
Frostwing: Quiet Phoenix. You don't want to anger the cosplayers again.
K.N.:(Holding an Irken laser) What was that?
Frostwing/Phoenix: Nothing!
V.C.: Good! Now readers, go forth and enjoy the next chapter of Troubles of Irken Romance.
K.N.: And don't forget to review. Your opinions help make this story better for everyone. We are also still undecided about Gaz, so if anyone wants to give input on that then feel free.
V.C.: Yes, yes. With all that said, DISCLAIMER!
Disclaimer: We do not own Invader Zim. We do own the OCs created for this story. Enjoy!
Chapter 5: Fighting for A-Tenn-tion
"Hello ladies and gentlemen," Red greeted the floating camera from his chair with a wide smile across his face. "Welcome to another exciting edition of The Invader! Last time, our favorite shortie found himself fighting a Meekrob general during his date with Mizzy. Now heading back for Earth, what will happen next? Also, what of that odd sighting Tenn had in the back of the base? Find out all that and more right now on...The Invader!"
"Why are you acting like a game show host?" Purple arched a nonexistent brow at his fellow Tallest's actions. "You haven't talked like that since Chapter 2, so why go back now?"
(Hey! Do you know how much that fourth wall cost?! -Phoenix)
"Shut it Purple!" Red glared at the purple eyed Irken. "This whole contest thing was my idea, so I can do as I please."
(Oh fine, ignore one of the authors. Either way, it still is coming out of your paycheck. -Phoenix)
"All of it was your idea?" Purple gave his fellow Tallest a glare. "Then was it your idea to enter my daughter behind my back?"
"What if it was?" Red raised a nonexistent brow while smirking. "It's not like you can do anything about it now."
Purple looked outraged by Red's words. The two of them found themselves in a glaring contest. Before anything else could happen, a coughing noise drew their attention to the cage holding Tak.
"If you both are finished," Tak spoke with an irritated tone. "Then would you kindly let me out of this stupid cage?"
"No!" Both of them snapped in unison, earning them a deadpan expression from Tak.
While all of this was happening, the locks behind the entrance to Zim's lab were easily picked open. Aria, Gir, and Midnight all snuck into the lair and looked around for their targets. Aria found them bickering with each other, and saw a large metal box on a shelf above them.
"Look," She nudged Midnight and pointed at the box. The heiress grinned deviously as she nodded in understanding.
Meanwhile, Purple huffed as he threw his hands into the air. "You know what? Fine! I don't care that you were involved! I just can't believe my only daughter would stab me in the back and run off to try and get with that runt."
"You know, he's not that bad if you'd just get over your grudge." Both Tallests blinked in surprise as Midnight spoke up, stepping out of the shadows. "And for the record, I didn't stab you in the back. I only pursued my desired mate. You were the one who insulted my effectiveness as a mate when I first got here."
"Midnight? How did you get in here?" Purple questioned his daughter.
"Oh, you know," Midnight smirked at her father. "A simple pick of the lock."
Purple groaned. "Curse that defect and his stupid base's cruddy design."
"You know, that's kind of your fault."
"My fault?!" Purple gawked at her. "How is it my fault?!"
"You're the one who gave him the lowest quality stuff you could find before sending him off to Earth."
Red snickered at the conversation between father and daughter, but his humor was short lived when the large metal box fell onto his head. He fell face first onto his stomach with swirls in his eyes and small ducks circling his head. He saw an odd silhouette and gave a dazed laugh. "Heh, heh. Tallest Spork...is that you?" With those words, he fainted.
"I guess he couldn't take dat bonk on da head. Tehehe." Gir let out a small giggle at the sight of Tallest Red's condition.
"C'mon Gir, we still have to free Tak." Aria told the malfunctioning S.I.R. as she grabbed a pair of keys from Red's pocket.
"Youse go ahead," Gir smiled as he pulled a marker out of his pocket. "I'm gonna have some fun an' doodle on his face."
Aria shook her head at the small robot's antics before turning her attention to her restrained competition. Quietly approaching the cage, she climbed the broken machines and stuck the key into the lock. Once free, Tak nimbly leapt over the obstacles and landed on her feet. Aria slowly followed her.
"Thanks for the assist," Tak nodded respectfully toward her competitor.
"No problem," Aria shrugged before turning back to Gir to see that he had finished his handiwork. Red's face was now covered with poorly drawn glasses, a mustache and goatee, and a monkey's face above his forehead. This was quite the sight, and managed to get a small chuckle out of both females.
Purple was too busy arguing with his daughter to notice any of this happening to his fellow Tallest. It wasn't until he realized that Red was being too quiet that he got suspicious. Turning around, he saw Tak and Aria smirking at him deviously with menacing glints in their eyes.
"Um...hi?" Purple gulped as he slowly backed away. He stopped only when he bumped into someone else. Turning around, he saw Midnight had the same look on her face as the other two Irken females.
"It would seem you're in a bit of a sticky situation, aren't you Father?" The Irken heiress' smirk grew as she saw her father squirm.
"M-Midnight, you wouldn't hurt your dear old dad, would you?" Purple asked hopefully.
"Hmm, maybe." The purple eyed female hummed in thought.
Purple let out a sigh of relief. However, his feelings of security were short-lived when Gir surprised him by pounding down onto his head. Purple was dazed by the attack, making him susceptible to the incoming opponents.
"But they definitely will." Midnight grinned as she cracked her knuckles.
Later:
Zim arrived back on Earth a few hours later, warily exiting his Voot as he prepared for Purple to ambush him. Mizzy noticed this and rolled her eyes at his antics.
"Would ya quit it, pipsqueak? The purple idiot won't come for you. That was just some dumb ratings stunt."
"You can never be too certain. After all, it is entirely possible for anything to attack." Zim replied as he peered his head into the next room and looked both ways before entering. Mizzy would have replied to that, but another voice disturbed their conversation before she could get the chance.
"Zim is right, you know." Both Zim and Mizzy looked in surprise to see Tak smirking at them both. "Caution is a key thing that any Irken should learn early on if they hope to survive."
"Tak!" Zim tried and failed to hide his obvious joy at seeing her freed and unharmed. "You're okay!"
"Of course, I'm okay," Tak's smirk softened to a warm smile as she walked over to them both and slapped him across the face as hard as she could.
"OW!" Zim's hand flew to his cheek immediately as he glared at her. "What was that for, Tak-beast?"
"For leaving me behind in a cell with those idiots," Tak replied simply. She then enveloped him in a tight embrace.
"And the hug?" Zim asked in confusion.
"Because it was sweet of you to leave for my safety. That, and because I can."
"Bleh," Mizzy gagged at how touching of a scene she was seeing. "Get a room. I'm gonna go find some snacks. See ya around, pipsqueak." With that, she walked off.
Zim didn't notice her leave, nor did he care. He stared at the purple eyed Irken before him with curiosity now showing in his ruby eyes. "How did you escape our Tallests?"
Tak paused for a minute before smirking as she thought over the unconscious bodies of her leaders lying in Zim's lab with crude drawings all over their faces. "Let's just say that I had a little help from a friend."
"Okay." Zim shrugged loosely as they entered the main level of the base. Before they could say or do anything, a quiet voice spoke up from behind.
"Um, Zim?"
The red eyed male turned to see Tenn staring at him nervously. Trying not to scare her off, Zim nodded cautiously. "Yes, Tenn?"
"I saw this weird thing outside," The female hesitantly told him. Zim's only response was to raise a nonexistent brow and wait for her to continue. "There was this big pit covered by a grate. I heard this chittering noise, and some weird hand shot out of it."
Zim's eyes widened in horror as he turned a few shades lighter. "Oh no. That was where I stored the zombie weasels!"
"Zombie weasels?" Tenn and Tak both gave him looks; Tenn's was confused while Tak's was unimpressed.
"Yes, zombie weasels." Zim replied as he made his way to the entrance to his backyard with the two girls following him. "They were a horrific experiment gone wrong courtesy of a certain S.I.R. unit. They devastated my lab, and ran rampant through the city."
"Why not leave them to kill off the humans?"
"They weren't friendly to Irkens either, and I quite like living," Zim answered as he threw the door open after putting on his human disguise of a pair of contacts and a pompadour wig, and rushed outside. "I must ensure that there wasn't a breach in their containment. If they get out, then we could all die."
"Yeah, that's probably bad." Was the only response he received from Tenn.
"PROBABLY?!" Tak shouted in alarm. "No, it's DEFINITELY a problem!" She then turned away from her fellow Irkens and headed toward the lab. "You both go make sure there hasn't been a security breach and I'll keep an eye on the perimeter cameras."
Without any time to spare, Zim and Tenn walked out to the backyard and went over to the grate. Tenn hesitantly looked down into it while Zim slowly pulled a hidden lever to let the gate open slightly.
"Do you see anything?"
"No, just bones." Tenn replied. "Bones, and rotting flesh, and-."
Suddenly, as if from out of nowhere, Dib came rushing out of the grate, riding on the back of a giant zombie weasel. "HAHAHA! I am Dib! King of the Zombie Weasels!"
"Dib-Stink! What are you doing?" Zim felt a mixture of outrage and fear at the sight of his nemesis riding such a creature. "You were there for the incident! You know how deadly those things are! Are you trying to kill us all?!"
"No," Dib smirked as he pointed a finger at the duo of aliens. "Just you and the rest of your awful species."
"How dare you insult the Irken race!" Zim glared daggers at him. "We are far superior to you and the rest of your vile species!"
"Vile? We're not the ones who have claws and antennae!" Dib countered defensively.
"But you are quite ugly, and stupid too." Zim rebutted with fire in his ruby eyes.
Tenn, trying to hide how upset she was about all the hurtful insults toward her species, and also a little annoyed with their argument, broke it up by asking. "Wait! This is The Dib? The Human who's been trying to catch Zim for the past three years?"
"Yes, I am that Dib." Dib smiled wickedly. "I'm glad to hear that my legacy has reached out to the void of space."
"What are you doing here?" Tenn asked curiously.
Dib pointed once more at the duo of Irkens. "I am here because I am going to stop all of you foul alien scum from destroying my planet!"
"Destroy your planet? I'm just here to see if Zim will end up being my mate." Tenn replied honestly.
"What? Irkens mate?" Dib blinked in confusion.
Zim shook his head. "Not all of them. Mating Rights are traditionally reserved for those of high status. The majority of Irkens are produced in an underground laboratory located near the core of our home planet. Not that it matters, you cannot do anything with that information."
"I still have to protect Earth from you!" Dib glared at Zim hatefully.
"I have no desire to harm the Earth. I simply wish to have it willingly join the Irken Empire. However, that will never happen. Therefore, the only other way is if I take Earth by force." Zim explained himself with hands raised in defense.
"That will never happen. I won't allow it." At some point, he had dismounted his weasel. Leaping back onto his steed's back, Dib pointed forward from the back of his mount and shouted out a command. "Jerry, attack!"
The weasel beast let out a monstrous roar that caused Zim to let out a girlishly loud shriek. The undead creature then lunged at the duo of aliens. Luckily, before he could strike, a laserblast cut his charge short and killed it instantly.
"Oh," Tenn offered an innocent smile while holding her laser pistol in one hand. "I'm sorry. Was that meant to do something?"
"No, Jerry!" Dib glared at Tenn. "Jerry was my friend, and you killed him. You bastard! Now I must kill you!"
Dib was about to attack the red eyed female when a no longer afraid Zim got in his way and defended Tenn. "Dib-Pig, this is your one warning. Leave now before I call your sibling unit."
"No! Not the Purple Menace! I'm sorry. I promise I'll leave." He scurried away before another breath could be drawn.
Once he was gone, Tenn turned to face the red eyed male. "Will he be back?"
"Probably." Zim shrugged. "If he does come, then I will be ready for him."
"Okay." Tenn's stomach then growled, earning a blush from the embarrassed girl.
"We can worry about that later." Zim waved it off with a smile. "For now, why don't we get something to eat? Just the two of us?"
"You mean, like a date?" Tenn asked hopefully.
Zim shrugged. "If you would like it to be one."
Tenn squealed in delight before grabbing him by the arm and dragging him off. "C'mon then! Let's go!"
Zim couldn't help but chuckle at the enthusiasm on display from the usually quiet girl. He began to think about her, and wondered how he hadn't noticed her yet amongst all the girls in this contest. Shaking his head, he decided it best to focus on the present and offer her as good a time as he could.
'It is the least Zim can do after ignoring her these past few days.' He thought as she led him into his own kitchen. 'Let us hope this date doesn't end with her being kidnapped or me having to fight a giant robot.'
To Be Continued...