Ba Sing Se - 3 months ago.

Mai stood in front of the heavy wooden door decorated with an ugly bear. Apparently every royal family had to have an obsession; in the Fire Nation it was dragons, in Ba Sing Se - distasteful bears. She knocked and decided that the indistinct growl from inside was an invitation to enter. It was all dark in the room, except for four candles lit in a row.

"What is it?" Zuko opened an eye but didn't get up.

"Our transport is ready, we'll leave tomorrow to go home."

Mai was looking forward to it. She had thought that Caldera was boring before, but she did not know drudgery until her father was appointed to that Agni -forsaken post in Omashu. Everything was better than this miserable Earth Kingdom full of people whose fear and hatred she could smell every time she passed them on the street.

"I'm not going." He had the exact same stupid pout he used to have as a kid when his mother told him to play with Azula.

"What do you mean you're not coming?" Mai frowned. "Don't you want be home after three years?"

"I feel like I could be more use here. Overseeing the city," he muttered. Still the horrible liar.

"Zuko, why would you…?" She started, but when his eyes fell on the dagger it hit her. He was still twisting himself into knots over his uncle. Maybe even trying to free him. After everything he's been through, Zuko still had no sense of self-preservation.

"That life? It's so long ago," he sighed.

"Well, maybe this will help you remember," Mai laid in front of him a bundle of clothes that their escort brought from the Fire Nation. His expression softened slightly. He ran his fingers over the red silk longingly.

"Your uncle will be transported back to the Fire Nation with us," Mai said flatly.

His eyes widened. "Why are you telling me this?"

He looked so guilty, it was ridiculous. Except it was not funny at all.

"There is nothing left here for you, Zuko. Don't be stupid. Come home," Mai told him firmly.

"What if there is nothing left for me there either?"

There was so much doubt and pain in his voice. Mai had no idea what to say. How to explain that she had been staring down that same emptiness every day? That finally she had something to look forward to? What if he didn't feel the same way?

"You still have your family and your country. You still have me," she leaned closer - her lips lingering just above his. She could feel the heat of the candles on his breath. He remained unnaturally still for a few heartbeats, but the erratic flickering of the candles told a different story. Then he let out a sigh that sounded almost like a muffled cry as his lips crashed against hers. His kisses tasted like anguish and desperation, until they softened into surrender.

-0-

Present day - Caldera City prison

It has been seven days of unbearable boredom with the same routine, seven nights of sleepless tossing and turning. Twenty-eight meals of inedible mush that tasted like burnt sick. Fourteen short breaks out in the courtyard crowded with prisoners. That annoying Earth Kingdom girl, Ribbons and her group still giving them the stink-eye and purely accidental shoves in the ribs. Fourteen times of Ty Lee's smile fading at the realization that her fellow prisoners have nothing but hatred and disdain for them..

It's time again for the stupid walk and Mai wishes they could just stay here in their cell, but they are prisoners now and they have no choices left. She really hopes that the stupid jerk will make her one reckless choice in life count somehow. Because it's up to him now.

Ty Lee stretches and looks at Mai with the same enthusiastic grin that she has worn for the last seven days. Others might mistake it for happiness, but Mai knows that it's a mask crafted from the pain of well-concealed jabs, barely visible burns and words that cut more sharply than any knife ever could.

"It should be fun," Ty Lee says.

Mai pretends not to notice the slight tremble in her voice. Instead her fingers wrap around the shiv tighter until the sharp point digs into her skin. The pain helps her focus.

"Outside time," a guard yells as a hundred cell-doors open with a loud creak. They join in the shuffling of feet.

-0-

Fire Nation Navy ship - Three months ago

The flames bloomed red-orange at his feet and fingertips as he moved to the pulsing rhythm of the rising sun. His movements lacked the sharp efficiency and cool elegance of Azula's, but he bent with purpose and focus. There was no trace of his boyhood clumsiness as he moved through the forms - it evoked the gracefulness of a predator. She recognized most of the katas, but there were others that looked unfamiliar.

Mai caressed her blades. Well, he wasn't the only one who developed a sharp edge. She had grown into a predator too. She aimed and watched the sharp knives whir through the air pinning him neatly to the wall.

He let out a startled yelp as his eyes settled on her with a scowl.

"What do you think you are you doing?"

Distracting you before you do something stupid.

"Just checking my blades, to see if they are sharp enough," Mai forced a bored expression on her face.

"You have become really good at this," Zuko noted.

After you were banished, Azula became meaner. I needed to grow my own claws.

"There isn't that much to do in Caldera," she shrugged. "Everyone needs a hobby."

"You care to unpin me?" He tried to look cool, but Mai noticed his squirming. She stepped closer and felt his excitement vibrate with electricity in the space between them.

"It'll cost you," she stared into the golden flame of his eyes, challenging him. He stared back, then his attention slowly shifted to her lips. He swallowed, still hesitant. Mai inched closer, helping him to make the decision. He finally leaned in and kissed her - it was barely more than a delicate brush on the lips.

"Is this what you had in mind?"

"It's a start…" she said flatly and pulled out the knives.

"Thank you," he leaned against the railing of the ship. Mai stood next to him as they watched the morning sun sparkle off the waves. It was an uncomfortably perfect moment - a painful glimpse into an idyllic world where people held hands and watched beautiful sunrises and didn't have to care about wars and politics and family reputation. A glimpse into a world that never existed and never could exist. Mai had to remind herself that it wasn't real before she became too attached to the image.

"Ships are incredibly boring," she faked a yawn.

Zuko blinked as if he was waking up from whatever dreamworld he was in. His expression clouded over with pain again.

"Mai, did you see my uncle?"

She sighed. He was back running circles of guilt again. It never helped anyone to delve too long into choices they made. He did what he had to to survive. So did she. Pride, shame were all useless. Survival mattered.

"Yes. He's in the brig. Let me guess - do you want me to take him ginger tea?" she asked sarcastically.

"If you could. Tell him that I… " he struggled with the words, but finally just shook his head, "don't tell him anything."

The brig was unbearably hot. The guard looked at Mai questioningly as she balanced the tray on one hand.

"Order from up there…" she gave him a bored grimace. It was technically not a lie and the guard was stupid enough to assume the order came from Azula and not the banished prince whose status in the chain of command was quite a bit murkier.

She entered the hold and in the dim half-light, she could see General Iroh sitting cross-legged on the dirty floor of his cell. On the other side, the Kyoshi warriors huddled in a different cage. Mai turned her head away - the desperation in their eyes made her feel uncomfortable.

"Where are you taking us? What's going to happen to us?" their leader asked.

"Answer, bitch," another voice hissed.

Mai didn't know. She didn't want to know. Knowing wouldn't help anyone. So she ignored the question and the insult. She brought the tea over to Iroh and placed it in front of the bars of his cell. She poured tea in the cup and pushed it inside the bars.

"Ginger. My favourite," he looked at her with an unspoken question.

Mai said nothing.

"Tea is meant to be shared. Could you give some to my lovely neighbors too?" His voice was pleasant as if he was chatting at a nice party.

"We are not in your tea-house, General Iroh," she snapped. She already risked too much by being down here behind Azula's back.

"No. Indeed," he looked at her with hard eyes. Eyes that reminded her of the stories about the feared Dragon of the West, decorated war hero. Eyes used to command. She shuddered. "Tell my nephew…" his face softened for a moment, then he looked at the teacup, the bars, his hands folded in his laps, then back at Mai. "Don't tell him anything." His voice resonated with so many emotions, with sadness, with love. It was too real, too messy.

Mai fled the holding cell feeling like she got in the middle of something that was too much for her to handle, leaving the cup and teapot behind. An hour later the guard sent up the tray. The tea was cold and untouched.

-0-

Present day, Caldera City prison

Ty Lee flexes her legs against the fence of the court-yard, as if it were a gymnastics bar to stretch her muscles. Mai wishes she could channel her nervous energy with something, but taking her make-shift knife out would guarantee losing it. So she just watches the people shuffle around the yard. Ribbons is out with her crew. When she catches Mai staring, her lips curl to a chilling smirk that Mai doesn't like very much. Ribbons stands up and walks towards them with her entire gang in tow.

She stomps on Ty Lee's hand, the knuckles make a sickening cracking noise.

"Whoops - I didn't see you there," says Ribbons in a tone that makes it very clear that she did see it.

Ty Lee forces on a faint smile. "It's fine."

In response, Ribbons knocks Ty Lee over face down into the dirt, pushing her head into the mud.

This is all my fault. I got us in this mess.

"Leave her alone," yells Mai.

"What are you going to do about it, Knife Girl? You are nothing without them," Ribbons snarls.

"You want to test that?"

"Leave it alone, Mai…" whispers Ty Lee. The skin of her lips is broken and it's the sight of the dripping blood at the corner of her mouth that is the last straw. It makes Mai lunge forward, going straight for Ribbons. She blocks the knife, and kicks Mai's stomach. She falls over, the other girl pounces on her like an owl-cat. They are rolling on the ground, clawing, kicking, punching, biting. Mai registers only faintly the sound of the crowd cheering and booing around them. She manages to go on top, her little shiv pointed at Ribbon's throat.

"I don't know what your problem is, but leave us alone," Mai hisses at the other girl.

"You don't even remember, do you, bitch?" Ribbon spits on the ground. Mai's hand freezes.

Something about the way she swears sparks a memory of those girls huddled together in the ship's hold, taken as prisoners. You did that, Mai's conscience provides. Y ou are the reason they are here. - I didn't have a choice. We were just following orders. - There is always a choice, a familiar raspy voice whispers in her head.

The guards arrive and pull them apart, twisting Mai's arms behind her back, tearing the shiv out of her hands. There are kicks and punches, but she clamps her mouth shut because whether to scream or stay silent is the only choice she still has.

Both her and Ribbons are dragged away, down to the underground part of the prison. She lands on her knees, as rough hands shove her into a dark moist cell. The door slams shut behind her and she's all alone in a disorienting blackness.

-0-

Mai watched the return of the Prince and Princess of the window of her parent's house. The view was better from there. And she didn't have to applaud and fake smiles - she could just simply observe. Azula stood up on the platform, soaking in the cheers and adoration like it was her due, like the whole world was always supposed to be at her feet.

Zuko came out second even if he was older. A deliberate slight, a petty move so typical of Azula. As he emerged from the curtain of flames the crowd seemed to draw a collective breath before the cheers started again. Of course, it was the first time the people saw their mutilated, banished prince who was the subject of so many gossips. Now his scar was on display for the whole world to see. Knowing and seeing were different things. As he stood there in the light, his face serious, a bit sad, a bit lost; his shaggy hair tied into a tiny topknot, he looked nothing like the Crown Prince he was supposed to be, more like a kid playing dress-up. Yet, Mai allowed for a moment to imagine him with the five-pronged flame-crown in his hair. It felt strangely right.

They ran into each other two days later in the palace, as Mai was waiting for Azula to get ready. Zuko walked the corridor in full royal outfit that looked ill-fitting, not because it wasn't the right size, but the way he kept tugging at the sleeves. The ragged edges of his short hair fell out of his top-knot despite the servants best efforts. He looked pale and he walked a little bit too close to the walls, as if he didn't want to take up too much space.

His tired eyes lit up warmly when he spotted Mai. She greeted him with a formal bow under the watchful eyes of the servants. He looked almost hurt, as if observing protocol put unbearable distance between them. He stepped closer and brushed his fingers against hers.

"I've been missing you," he said on a low voice.

"You know where I live," Mai replied with a small grimace. If he wanted something, it was for him to make the effort. She gave enough openings. "You look terrible."

Are you all right?

He ran his hand over his hair, but pulled it back when he realized there wasn't anything to rake through. "I haven't been sleeping well. I just feel so out of place…"

Mai cut him off. Servants gossiped. It was dangerous to show weakness. "How did it go with your Father?"

"Fine…" His eyes remained sad and downcast. "That's not it."

Whatever it was, he needed to pull himself together.

"Well, my family is still in Omashu and the house is empty…" She let it hang in the air.

"That sounds nice." His eyes lit up again and grabbed her hands.

"Oh, I knew it! Look, Ty Lee, the lovebirds." Azula's harsh voice interrupted them. "How adorable."

"So cute!" Ty Lee enthused. At least she sounded sincere.

Zuko blushed and took a step back.

"Knock it off, Azula," he snapped at his sister.

"Well, Brother. I'm sorry that I have to interrupt your, whatever this is, but I need Mai on this important mission Father gave me."

As usual, Azula was exaggerating. The "important mission" was to go and look into the issue of some irregular activity at a countryside school. Mai was fairly certain Azula assigned it to herself to make it look like she had some special status with the Fire Lord that Zuko could never achieve.

"What secret mission?" Zuko growled suspiciously.

Azula gave him a vindictive smile. "You'll have to ask him. I'd invite you along, but I'm afraid it's girls only. Come on, Ty Lee, Mai, let's go."

Mai schooled her features into a bored mask to hide her annoyance at Azula ordering her around as if she was a common servant. It somehow bothered her that Zuko was witnessing it. She gave him one last rueful glance, and followed the princess. Like she always did. Even when her heart said otherwise. She learnt to ignore anything her heart said a long time ago. It was safer that way.

-0-

Caldera City prison - Present

Drip. Drip. Drip. Drip.

Mai's uncle explained once that the monotonous dripping of the water was one of the most reliable torture methods. Mai sees that now. There is nothing in the holding cell, but darkness and even her daydreaming is disrupted by the sound of drops drilling into her skull, slowly but steadily driving her mad. She's shivering from the cold and damp. She licks her swollen lips and tries to forget about her empty stomach. She wonders how much time has passed and how long they are planning to hold her down here.

Thinking makes it worse. Happy memories remind her of all she lost and sad memories just make her more depressed. Her brain is a chaos of images she wants to push away, but every time she locks out a memory, the dripping noise comes back.

A faint melody penetrates the noisy silence. It's a girl singing. Probably Ribbons. Mai perks up her ears and listens to the soulful, strange tune. It's a welcome reprieve from her own head.

In the meadow, I walk with you, my love,

In the shadow what fate awaits us?

I sing my song alone, far, far away from home,

And I dream of that green meadow, my love.

There are tears in Mai's throat, because she doesn't know this girl, but she knows the pain and the longing. And her own pain is more than enough, but she can't help feeling responsible for Ribbons' pain too. She should be back in her Earth Kingdom green meadow and not rot in a stupid cell in the Fire Nation if it weren't for them. It just seems all so pointless.

"Singing helps with the dripping noise, Knife Girl," Mai hears her say through a little crack on the wall that connects their cells.

Mai doesn't know what to say, so she keeps quiet.

"Are you there, Knife Girl?" she asks again.

"I'm here, Ribbons," Mai says flatly.

"Micha."

"What?"

"My name is Micha."

"Mai."

"Do you remember now?"

"Yes," Mai says. She expects Micha to demand apologies, or hurl more insults.

"Try to fall asleep while I sing. Then you can do the same for me."

Mai certainly doesn't expect this - an exchange of lullabies.

"Why would you want to do that?" she asks incredulously.

"Not because I like you, obviously. It's the only way to get some sleep down here…" Micha clarifies.

In the meadow, I walk with you, my love….

Mai thinks that this will never work before she closes her eyes and drifts off.