A/N: Ya'lllllll! I am SO SORRY this has taken me so long to update. I really hope I didn't lose any readers! Maybe go back and re-read if you need to? Exposition is mostly covered at this point so things start to pick up from here...

Chase didn't know what he preferred: sneaking out of Gert's bed before the sun rose or waking up with her slowly. The former gave him time to look upon her quietly. Her face was always free of worry then, a foreign concept to Gert especially lately when he saw how his own stresses were weighing her down. The latter option was a moment of bliss. Even as Gert's alarm rang obnoxiously through the air, Chase usually afforded himself the time to watch her easily grab for her glasses before slipping out of bed. He'd always known Gert was a morning person but these shared nights confirmed it, especially when he had to blink several times to even get his heart rate going. Gert, her hair a mess and her complexion bright, always gave him a smile before disappearing into the bathroom. With her gone, his opportunity to admire her vanished with her. The shut bathroom door acted like a gunshot at the beginning of a race, propelling Chase out of bed and into whatever clothes he had kicked off the night before. The first few times Gert had folded Chase's things or even laid out a change of clothes for him so his exit was a swift and easy one. But he commented on it once, called it cute, and she hadn't done it since. Chase didn't know if there was merit to his myriad of conjecture; his only confidence came from how little he was sure of lately.

This is what he thought of now, one hand on the book bag strap over his shoulder, his eyes cast downward. It seemed his mind was always elsewhere lately. During class, practice, or the feigned normalcy of dinner with his parents he thought only of Gert and the bed they shared. It was a foreign concept, how losing sleep brought him calm and safety. She didn't talk much lately, but that was largely in part to how late he was in arriving, usually when she was fast asleep. She didn't wait for him anymore and he never wanted her too. It wasn't meant to be a nightly thing but with each passing week Chase found himself waking up in Gert's bed far more times than he woke up in his own.

It was Friday and there was a Pride meeting meaning for a moment Chase could pretend everything was normal. It was a talent, really, to smile and laugh as if your world was not secretly crumbling but it helped to have Gert by his side. Being honest with her about his homelife was the best thing he ever did. Just her knowing brought him peace and though she was firm in her belief that Chase should not harbor this secret forever, she was brilliant at helping him keep it.

Chase looked up, wondering where she was now. Her schedule was always changing as she somehow managed to fill it with more things. If he was remembering correctly, he thought she was likely in one of her art classes. As his eyes searched the quad he did not find her or her daffodil-colored backpack. He did find Alex clearly lost in thought of his own, with steps fueled by far more energy than Chase was capable of. As he approached Chase casually wondered if he'd have time for a short nap before the party.

"I've been looking for you. I sent you four different texts," Alex managed, holding his cellphone for proof.

Chase smirked. "Sorry. It must still be on silent…" His voice trailed off as he reached into his back pocket to fix the setting. His screen lit up, revealing a picture of him and Gert from over a year ago. Quickly it turned to black again with several other text messages forgotten. "What's up?"

"Nico has been trying to tell me about this thing you have planned but—"

"Shhh!" Chase urged.

Alex rolled his eyes. "I'm not talking that loudly. Besides, nobody important is around. Gert—"

"Alright, alright," Chase deflected. "Sorry. I just need this to work and…"

Alex nodded. "Yeah, I get that. But we've been trying to help and you haven't really let any of us know what's going on."

"Sure I have. I've told you all where you need to be and when. Shouldn't you all be thanking me?"

"Well I think the girls are worried, to be honest. Gert usually does the planning and I don't know if they trust you."

"Well they should because I've had this planned and booked for months now. It's foolproof."

"Unless it rains."

"It's LA. It never rains."

"It sometimes rains in LA. It's supposed to rain all next week, actually," Gert said plainly as she approached them from behind. Amy was at her side but already the girls were beginning to pair off with their respective best friends.

"Hey Stein," Amy said, giving Chase a wide smile. She was always so unbelievably happy.

Even in his fog, Chase couldn't help but to smile back. "Hey, Amy."

"See you tonight?"

Chase nodded. "Yeah. You're coming?"

"I thought I would. You know...make sure Pride meetings are as awesome as they used to be when I hosted every week." She flung her arm around Alex's neck, pulling him close in a way that was almost comical. "You ready, Wilder?"

Alex sighed and shrugged out of her touch. "To ace this coding exam? Yes. I am. No thanks to you." He turned toward the door, not bothering to give a farewell to Gert or Chase who continued to look on. Silently they both wondered if they looked this ridiculous, two friends so comfortable with one another that the peace they felt at being together was almost contagious.

"Okay, so I got a bit distracted last night," Amy admitted as she held the door and Alex entered the classroom. "But the new FF was absolutely worth it so don't even act like…" Her voice dwindled before fading out completely as the door closed behind them. It must have brought Gert back into the moment because she gave Chase a slight grin before walking away, wordless, but in a way that asked Chase to follow.

"You okay?" she finally asked, breaking through the silence.

Chase nodded quickly but then he remembered who he was talking to and all she knew; things even he was afraid of confronting about himself. Chase wondered how deeply she knew it too. There were so many truths he was terrified of, things that spanned far beyond the life he lived at home.

"Yeah," his voice came softly. "You?"

She nodded, swallowing too. "Yeah. Of course."

"Stein!" It was another interruption, this time from an unwelcome source. A cluster of lacrosse players were in front of them at the end of the hall causing Chase to look up as Gert looked away, wanting to disappear.

Gert did her best to blend in and having Chase as her best friend often threatened that. It was not just the looks he received from other girls, looks that inevitably drifted her way in disgust and disregard but also the unwanted male attention, how walking down the hall with Chase often meant being bombarded by the other friends he had, friends she'd never know simply because she didn't care to. She didn't need to hear them ignoring her; she felt it everyday when she walked past them without Chase and they looked over or even through her, as if she weren't really there at all.

She wondered if she slipped off if Chase would notice but before she could take even a small step, Chase reached for her wrist to keep her close.

"Let's go! Practice!"

"I'm—"

"Doesn't look too important," one of them commented, his eyes roaming over Gert causing her to wretch her wrist away from Chase so she could cross her arms over her chest.

"I have study hall and then calc—"

"And we're skipping the last two periods and we think you should too. Study hall is...study hall," the boy assessed, almost proud of his deduction and the chuckle it earned from his friends. "And who needs calc?"

"Well, I do—"

Gert didn't hear the rest of it. The game Chase played, one of high school politics, was not something Gert ever participated in and it was much easier for her to disappear behind her locker which was thankfully only a few feet away. She may have refused to be a pawn but Gert didn't want to put Chase in a position where he'd be forced to belittle his social standing by sticking up for her. Or, she didn't want to stick around and hear him go silent, saying nothing to defend their friendship.

With the door to her locker acting as a shield from the situation she'd removed herself from, Gert didn't see any of what she'd left behind. She didn't see Chase's disappointed face and the way he turned around to watch her go. She also didn't see the look he gave his teammates and how he pushed one of them off of him when they tried to steer him toward one of the school's many exits.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Chase tossed out as he repositioned his bookbag on his shoulder.

"Whoaaaaa," one of them carried out, raising his hands in feigned surrender. "We're just—"

"Well don't," he snapped. "You don't get to dictate what is and isn't important to me. Practice can wait. I do need calc and Gert—"

"She'll be around after practice, I'm sure. You know how she is. Watching you...waiting for you. It's actually kind of creepy sometimes."

"No, what's kind of creepy is the way that you care. She's my best friend. Stop treating her like you're better than her because you're not."

"Whoa, Chase, I—"

"Fuck off, okay?" He shrugged again, still trying to rid his shoulders of the weight they felt from being pushed and prodded at by teammates that were supposed to be friends. He'd get away with this outburst just like he'd gotten away with so many before it. He was the best on the team and they needed him. They also didn't know that his anger went far beyond the respect he had for Gert. Or maybe it was all the same; the anger and resentment he felt for his father was meant to be cooled by all Gert did for him. Insulting her was to question the only security Chase felt he had.

They dispersed, leaving Chase to turn around in the hall, seeking Gert out. It was an extended break between periods, meaning the halls were more crowded than usual. She was likely on her way to the library already. Even if he texted her he wasn't sure he'd receive a response until after school. If she ignored him in calculus he wouldn't be upset. Hadn't he just done the same thing to her?

"Chase?"

It was relentless, how everyone demanded his attention. Chase huffed out, turning to the voice, but was softened when he saw who it belonged to. He was also slightly disappointed at not having recognized it sooner. "Karolina...hey," he tried, faking a smile that he hoped would turn genuine.

"Uh, hey…" she attempted, equally apprehensive. "You okay?"

"What? Uh, yeah," Chase nodded, looking over his shoulder as if to acknowledge what had just transpired. "Team bullshit."

Karolina gave an exaggerated nod in acceptance of the clear lie he told. "Right. So, uh, Alex said you needed to see me?"

"Oh, yeah, sorry I...you said your mom would let you borrow the car? So we can all…"

"Yeah, totally! I checked again this morning actually. She doesn't mind but she did offer to rent us a car. I mean, I don't mind but then we'd have a driver and—"

"Too showy," Chase rejected simply. "I considered it but I know she—"

Karolina smirked, knowingly. "You're right. My mom's car it is."

"Thanks. You're the best. And uh, tell your mom I said thanks too." His grin was genuine this time, and the much more pleasant attitude he had radiated off of him when he reached out for Karolina to give her shoulder a gentle squeeze in appreciation. They had so little in common, her with the church and him with his sports, but there was comfort in having friends that knew you before the world had a chance to define and label who it wanted you to be. They could practically speak different languages and the silence they shared would still be of more comfort than a conversation with a like-minded stranger.

Chase watched her go, thankful that her brief appearance calmed his clear rage. Unlike Gert, Karolina didn't demand that Chase feel and confront what he was feeling. She didn't know such a thing was necessary but they were fundamentally different girls. His father had once made mention of Karolina, as if Chase's love life was also something worth manipulation. Chase had never even considered Karolina as a possibility but he concluded, with Gert's help, that his father was merely thinking that pretty people belonged with other pretty people. It honestly hadn't occurred to him that a notion like that was simple math to some people. Gert had a way of doing that; of forcing him to examine all he was previously blind to. His world was different with her in it; she demanded it be that way.

It occurred to Chase in that moment what it was that had been plaguing him. The feeling that had poked at his insecurities and drowned him in self-loathing was nothing more than loneliness. It sounded as ridiculous as it felt, how he could be surrounded by so many people, often showered in praise, and still feel wholly and utterly lonely. And that's why he was so transfixed on the pure white bed he slept in lately and how it was always so warm and soft and right. And the girl that slept beside him, often unaware of his presence, seemed so peaceful beside him. Her breathing and the soft snores she sometimes whispered out only confirmed what Chase now knew to be true. It was not just Gert's company but the simplicity of her presence, even in slumber, that truly calmed him down. This was clear as she slipped out of his grasp, disappearing into the crowd as his teammates had nearly suggested. He felt naked then and now he wondered how such a thing was possible: how he could be fifteen and so dependent on someone who prided herself on her own independence.

He had no option but to leave the moment and all of its repercussions behind. His mind shifted anyway, wondering where Gert had gone to and pondering the validity of her claim that it was likely to rain soon.

~!~

Chase was notoriously late to everything. He craved the days when he'd have a car of his own but until then he was stuck waiting for his parents and most importantly his self-involved father who believed arriving late was not a matter of courtesy but one of well-exercised power. Tonight however he managed to be the first to arrive to Alex's house. He sat and watched Alex finish an entire level of his latest video game, ignoring the offer to join while his hands fidgeted with his phone, flashing the screen on and off to check for a text message that felt like it would never come. He hadn't spoken to Gert since he lost her in the hallway and now he wondered if he'd even see her tonight.

It made him think of something else.

"Hey, do you have it?" he asked Alex as he came out.

"Have what?"

"The money," Chase gave easily, his voice sounding as though he were irritated at Alex's lack of clairvoyance.

Alex rolled his eyes. "Remind me when the girls get here. I'll go get my wallet."

"Or you could get it now," Chase entertained the thought, a sly smile creeping onto his face. This was dangerous territory for a boy who was equally guilty, even more so for a boy that was guilty and ignorantly so. "But that wouldn't give you an out when things get awkward between you and Nico."

"Things don't get awkward between me and Nico!" Alex deflected, rolling his shoulders. "It's just me. I'm the awkward one."

Chase laughed at his friend's correction. "Dude, when are you going to stop all this? Just tell her you like her."

"Easier said than done. I'm not good with grand sweeping gestures. That's your thing."

Chase's head shot up. "What?"

"Oh, c'mon," Alex gave in, his shoulders now slumping as they did their best to keep up with the conversation. He wasn't wrong when he said massive declarations weren't his thing. It was the same reason Chase always suggested that Alex go out for lacrosse. His body was far more emotive than his face. Chase also thought a physical outlet would benefit Alex; give him a place to channel his burgeoning adolescent angst when the girl he wanted clearly didn't want him. "You think all of this is lost on us?"

Chase's eyes narrowed and his throat went dry. He shook his head in dismissal. "I don't know what you're talking about." Similarly, Alex joked that Chase should go out for Atlas Academy's next theatre production. He certainly had a talent for wearing masks and pretending to feel what he didn't. Ironically both boys managed to comment on these things without ever talking about the true underlying issues.

Behind them, Amy came through the french doors of the guest house, carrying with her four large boxes of pizza. She set them down on the table in the corner, letting her weight fall into the wood before turning back to her friends. "Pizza," she announced.

"Happiness," Nico echoed, coming in immediately behind her to snatch a slice and begin eating.

"I don't know what we're talking about but I'm starving," Amy continued as she now mimicked her sister's behavior.

"Plates!" Alex reminded. He grabbed for the pile stashed away on the entertainment center and as he offered one to Nico she took it willingly before crashing back down on the couch to get comfortable.

"Do they not feed you at the Minoru house?"

Nico narrowed her eyes in minor irritation but did not stop eating. "No, they do, but some of us have parents that work late and then rush us off to get to these stupid things so—"

"Was that a dig at my mom?" Chase cocked his head to the side. "Really, Nico?"

She shrugged and returned to her pizza. "Oh, Karolina needs help."

Chase stood up from the stool he sat upon. "What?"

"Yeah. Box of something in the car. I told her you'd love to help her," she teased.

Chase shook his head as he started for the door. "Great. Thanks." He disappeared into the night where already a distinct wind was picking up. He waved to Mr. and Mrs. Dean as he walked past them heading toward the main house. The girl he was looking for was still nowhere to be found, making him believe that there might actually be merit to his fear from earlier.

"Chase…"

With his head cast downward he collided into the familiar. It was like a dream with the scent of her — rosewater and chamomile — faintly surrounding him while her hands reached out for his chest in an effort to keep them both steady. When he looked up he couldn't even smile. Her fingertips leaving his chest, that loss of touch, felt like salt on a burn and were made all the more apparent when she stood back and another gust of wind blew between them.

"Gert, hey," he brightened.

"I needed—"

"Uh, one second, alright?" He requested, holding up a single finger. His eyes darted over her shoulder. "Karolina needs help with something so..."

They had crossed and traded placed with Chase closer to the path leading to the driveway and Gert standing steps from the guest house. They looked as if they were sparring, both with feet firmly planted and bodies bent to compliment one another.

"Yeah," Gert finally nodded, breaking through the silence. Her voice mixed with the cold and she felt empty with the simple word gone, as if she'd lost an opportunity. She hadn't even formulated what she wanted to say but it never mattered with Chase. Then again, it seemed to matter more lately, especially now as her best friend left to help the same girl she'd saw him with in the hall earlier as she crouched low behind the open-door of her locker, trying to remain invisible. That same girl was her friend, their friend, and Gert hated herself for sometimes almost hating Karolina. Girl power didn't seem to hold when matters of the heart were involved.

Gert walked into the guest house looking somewhat defeated. She faked a smile as she sat down next to Nico but it was easier to do when a plate with a slice of pizza was passed her way. That same cheese covered carb was soon a shield, something for her mouth to do when she saw Chase and Karolina re-enter. They were laughing — of course they were laughing, she thought.

The self-loathing was two-fold now. Gert sat forward to grab for another piece of pizza and when she saw Chase approach, finally alone, she stood up and made her way to the mini-fridge near the window. Her spot remained empty in her absence but she did not return to it. Instead she took a seat on the couch next to Alex and Amy, thankful she at least had the basic knowledge of the role-playing game they were discussing so her presence didn't seem as awkward as it clearly felt. When their animated banter grew tired, Gert's vision blurred, taking in the box Chase had carried in and how it now sat idly on the bookshelf nearest the bathroom. It was clearly not the box's pressing contents that had Chase running out to help Karolina. All Gert could make out was a single silver foil-covered letter Y, a half-opened bag of purple balloons and a string of lights. It was a reminder of the charity event they had this week, one of the few the teens were invited to, clearly in an effort to remind the city that beyond their parent's wealth and power, they were just that: parents.

"Movie?" Gert offered. Everyone looked up but Chase seemed to look up first. His state was enough to bring Gert to her feet. He looked hopeful for a moment but she didn't notice as she reached into her bag to retrieve two movies, both in unmarked black DVD cases. This was one of Gert's many talents; her mother and father had a connection at one of the big movie studios and she was always acquiring films before they were released to the public. "Black Panther or Incredibles 2?"

"Incredibles? Really?" Karolina balked.

"You were the one that wanted to go see Toy Story 3 when it came out. Don't act like you don't love a sequel," Nico teased, earning her a soft smile from the blonde to her right.

"Black Panther," Chase spoke up. His vote came without the unspoken: him and Gert had started Incredibles 2 several nights ago and though both had fallen asleep only a few minutes in, he imagined they'd be finishing it together — alone.

Gert looked around as if she hadn't heard him. "Anyone else? I don't want to start one of these and then get a complaint from someone who never voted in the first place," she said casually, though her eyes bore into Alex, causing Amy to snicker.

"Incredibles 2," he said, agreeing with the vote Nico had yet to give.

More silence followed and Gert sighed before moving to put the movie in. Just as easily the lights dimmed and a comfortable silence faded in, reminding all participants that this routine was one they had nearly perfected and somehow still were not sick of.

~!~

Gert's eyes never quite adjusted to the dark. She'd gotten contacts recently and between the strengthened prescription and overall discomfort she found her vision hindered. Her eyes ached and when she blinked and opened her eyes again she found her vision tilted; her head was on Alex's shoulder. She didn't remember any of the movie beyond what her and Chase had already watched together.

"Sorry," she mumbled, lifting her head.

Alex smirked. "Tired?"

"Yeah, I uh...didn't sleep well last night," she admitted.

No one knew of her anxiety medication or Chase's late night visits so Alex merely nodded. "Movie's over. Still no sign of the 'rents. We were going to go raid the fridge for ice cream. My mom said she got everyone's favorite flavors delivered from—"

"Your mom is a goddess," Gert agreed, smiling as she moved to stand.

Effortlessly they all walked across the backyard and into the kitchen. Their parents, as usual, were nowhere to be found. The house was actually eerily silent, save for a single television on in Mr. Wilder's office. It was easy for them to fill the air with laughter and lighthearted screaming and the other sounds that accompanied these Friday nights. There was so much character between the group of them that it was also easy for Gert and Chase to avoid one another. They did so until it was time to leave and Chase caught Gert at the door, reaching out for her wrist to keep her from going.

"Hey, where are you going? Your parents…"

"I have something I wanted to do," she mumbled. His eyes were so unbelievably hazel sometimes, Gert couldn't manage words, much less a well-crafted lie.

"Do you want company?"

With her hands stuffed back into the pockets of her dark denim jacket, Gert shook her head. "No, I'm okay."

"Let me walk you home," he stammered.

"I said no, Chase!" Gert hushed, suddenly wishing the two weren't still in the company of friends so she could have delivered the line at the volume she believed Chase deserved. She sighed and took a step outside. Chase followed and the two began a somewhat aggressive path down the driveway toward the street.

"Did I do something?" he called out.

Gert was at the fence now. "What? No!" She punched in the Wilder's code and the pedestrian gate disarmed, allowing her to exit. A tall row of junipers still shielded her from the road but a car could be heard going by, causing her pace to accelerate.

"I…" Chase exhaled heavily. "You're saying no but I really think I did something so it'd be great if you could stop being stubborn and just tell me what I did so we can get over this."

Gert turned harshly on her heel. "I just...I've been...I wanted to make sure you were okay. That's it. You snuck out before I woke up and I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

Chase took a beat. His featured softened in relief. "I'm fine."

"Does...does Karolina know?" Gert tossed back.

"Know what?"

"About you. Your dad."

Chase shook his head. "Definitely not."

So I can be your crash pad but when we're out she's actually your first choice? But Gert didn't say it, not really. And she didn't know why she wanted to. If she did, she certainly wasn't going to admit it. "Right, so I'm going to go—"

"Gert, what is it?" Chase pleaded once more. "Is it your anxiety?"

"Don't act like you know everything I'm thinking and feeling, Chase!"

"I certainly don't or else we wouldn't be arguing in the middle of the street."

Gert looked up. He was right; they now stood on the corner of Alex's street, beneath the soft glow of a newly-changed streetlamp. "You're right. Let's not argue." She turned to walk away, slowly at first, but all of her came colliding back into him. It was like a dance, a planned version of their fumble on the path earlier. The feel of skin on skin burned again, surely sending sparks falling to the pavement below.

Gert's eyes were steadily trained on where Chase's hand cupped her wrist. She had twirled into him in an almost fluid way, a dance neither of them asked for. They certainly didn't ask for any of this: the way Gert's arm was sandwiched between them, her hand previously balled into a fist now fighting its urge to reach out and touch Chase's cheek. Chase's hand released the grip it had on her wrist but Gert did not detach. Instead her gaze changed, roaming up Chase's stomach, past the freckles on his neck, to his lips and finally his eyes. Those same stunning pools were so close now. He was sorry. He didn't need to be sorry, she thought, and now he was just so damn close.

Chase's heart hammered in his chest. He was jealous of Gert's jacket. It was something for her to hide behind. It also kept them at a distance, concealing the parts of her he seemed to crave the most lately. Without warning he leaned in, slowly angling his mouth toward hers with a precision he was overwhelmed by. He smiled a bit, then reached up to gently caress a stray hair behind Gert's ear. The signals he'd read, the ones that told him all of this was okay, flashed into nothingness. His touch sent the moment running and Gert blinked, instantly leaning back before stepping away completely.

"Sorry, I…"

"Just don't be mad at me, alright?" Chase persevered as if he hadn't been the one to instigate.

Gert rolled her eyes. "I'm always mad at you."

"I wish you weren't," he returned in mirth. "Your birthday is coming up. I don't want you to be mad at me on your birthday."

"It's my birthday. I can be mad if I want to," Gert deadpanned.

"Yeah, but what fun would that be?"

Gert couldn't help herself. She was short of breath and all she wanted to do was run. She was losing control and she needed it back now, her anxiety overtaking the want she had for the boy in front of her, her supposed best friend. In abrupt resolve she shook her head and turned to walk away. She was almost a full step away before she stopped, turning to glance back to Chase just once. If he grabbed her again she wasn't sure she'd be able to resist. When he didn't, she was relieved. All of this was so tricky — delicate.

"Even if I'm mad at you, I'll always let you in. You know that, right?"

"I..." Chase's smile fell. "Wait what?"

"With your dad...I could hate you but you could always come to me and—"

"Gert, what are you even saying?"

"Nothing. It's nothing." She turned back again. The speed at which she advanced was telling. It was not his hand but his voice that called her back.

"Oh my god. You think I don't want you mad at me in case I need a place to crash?"

"What? No!" She paused. "Maybe! I don't know!"

"Really, Gert? Do you know me at all?"

"I...I don't know myself lately, Chase! Everything has just been so crazy lately but you know what? It's my fault. I'm out of my mind. I'm a mess. I'm—"

"None of those things," he sighed. "You're none of those things." His voice sounded as tired as her eyes felt.

Gert nodded. "I should go."

"Yeah...right."

"Night, Chase."

"Yeah...goodnight."

The people they were waking up that morning in bed together felt like strangers to this version of themselves.

I haven't written high-school scenes in SO. LONG. and I apparently missed it because I had way too much fun with these. Thank you for letting me share this story with you! I'm excited to hear what everyone thinks as it continues.

I hate to be that girl but PLEASE review! This would have been up earlier but I didn't feel like there was too much interest after last chapter, tbh...