Chapter One

I was three when it happened. I couldn't remember what had happened, that well.

I knew that there was glass that had gone everywhere, screaming, a lot of screaming, and it was supposed to be hotter than normal. Renee, my mother, had the air conditioner blasting in order to make sure that I would not get overheated. The same old overprotective trait that my mother always had, and would always have, had been sunken into her from being a young mother.

They say I was wearing a classic denim overall outfit, with a flower printed shirt underneath it. Renee was listening to some odd station that she had decided to have as background noise before it happened. She was always a picky person, at least when it came to music.

I didn't have to truly remember what had happened; I had the scars to prove it. I didn't have just inner scars that would forever remain in my heart; I had gruesome scars that stretched out across my arms, along with a long and vivid scar that ran from my hairline all the way down to my chin. The only break happened to be at my right eye, it was milky brown. I had never known what the right side of me ever looked like when it came to looking to the side.

Renee still peered at me with guilty eyes. I knew that she wished that she could go back in time, but that wouldn't have stopped the alcoholic that had been under the influence from hitting her when we were heading through the middle with his truck. He ended up going into prison, a couple years, not that much but at least it was something, to an extent.

I could be walking down the sidewalk and I could pass by him, and the funny thing is I wouldn't remember him. Maybe he would remember me, see the damage that he had done to me when he would glance at me. Maybe he learnt his lesson in prison; maybe he would stop and apologize to me. Or maybe, just maybe, he wouldn't look at me at all. He'd just continue on his way.

It should have bothered me, most of the time it didn't. Then it would creep in, my disorder, and then I'd have to start all over again. I would have more dosages upped when it came to my medications, Renee would travel to the closest CVS pharmacy to pick up my medications once they had filled again.

Now though I was sitting in the backseat of her car, my breathing under control, she always drove a little slower than the speed limit to make sure that it wouldn't start any panic attacks subconsciously, as the window blew into my face. It was seventy degrees in Phoenix, and the wind felt welcoming, the sun did not blare down on me thanks to the sunglasses I wore.

Renee was wearing a random t-shirt and some Capri pants, along with some flip flops. She thrived in the sun, as did I. I could tell though that she was straining with the want to turn the car around and head back home, though I reassured her countless times that I had decided to do this.

I was heading to the Olympic Peninsula of Washington State, where a tiny town sat nestled in one of the many forests that surrounded the state named Forks. My father, Charlie Swan, lived there. Only he didn't just live there, he was the Police Chief. He loved his job, though I knew it would stress him sometimes.

I wasn't looking forward to the weather; it rained most of the year. It was cold, it was damp, and it was a nightmarish weather pattern that I wished never existed. I had spent countless years going up to the state and dreading having to wear as many layers as possible during the one month of the summer custody agreement Renee and Charlie had decided on.

I lasted until I was fourteen when it came to going up and spending that one month of the year with Charlie. The last three summers Charlie vacationed in California for two weeks. I could tell thought that he would often look as though he was melting, living where he did though for as long as he did made him not care for the hot weather that much.

"Are you certain that you want to go, Bells?" Renee's voice spilled into the car, and I nodded my head. "Yes, I'm certain. I want to go."

A part of me actually wanted to go, I didn't know why, honestly. I had fought tooth and nail to convince myself that this was the right thing to do. It must have been the part of me that wanted to get away from Renee, the part of me that tired of her babying me even though I was seventeen.

I wasn't going because I desperately wished to go to Forks.

As if.

I just needed to get away for the time being, especially considering the fact that Renee had remarried a man named Phil in September. He was a little younger than I wished he could be, but he was an all around decent guy. I had yet to have something happen where I had demanded Renee rethink her opinion on Phil.

"I wish that Phil could be here too, he really wanted to come and see you off. I'm happy that he likes you, and you like him. It means a lot to me that the both of you have been so wonderful since the marriage," Renee admitted, and I knew that it was one hundred percent the truth.

Phil was good for her, he traveled for minor league. I didn't have any opinion on him, which suited him fine. He did have tendencies where he would surprise me by asking me if I had taken my medication, just to make sure.

I was bewildered, Renee's boyfriends in the past never lasted long enough for them to sincerely ask me if I was taking my medication—mainly because they didn't want to be Renee due to her having a damaged daughter.

Not that Renee would allow the relationship to continue, if anyone ever thought to disrespect me they were kicked to the curb. Then she would go into her room and cry, mostly at night, when she thought that I wouldn't hear her.

"Bella, we're here."

I blinked out of my stupor and noted that we were at the airport. I unbuckled my seatbelt and got out, Renee followed after me once she checked to make sure that she had her keys (she was very forgetful) and that everything was locked. She smiled in success before she turned and wrapped her arm around mine, despite the annoyed look I gave her.

"Oh come on, Bella, let me have this last moment with you," Renee pleaded, when I didn't move away from her she took that she was successful in this too.

I merely fixed the strap on my duffle bag (which had a pitiful amount of clothes suited for Forks. We had gone to many stores to get me a good amount of clothes that would be better suited for Forks than Phoenix), before we entered the airport.

It was busy and I prolonged the moment where I would take off my sunglasses. Eventually I did, and tucked my sunglasses into my leather purse that was a cross body style. I kept my eyes forward, knowing that to the right side of me I would have onlookers, but maybe the oil blackness was a blessing.

I dismissed the notion, knowing that I wasn't someone that really needed to go into the melodrama. It took me a while to get out of it.

We stopped at my terminal, there were people sitting in the plastic chairs and others were looking at the ceiling to floor windows that overlooked the landing strip. Some of the people were parents with their children, their children asking them which plane was theirs and who was in the blinking light towers all the way in the distance. The parents were either eagerly telling their children the inner workings on how an airport worked or were very straight to the point.

I remembered Renee patiently telling me about how airports worked, she was nervous but she tried not to show it. I had wondered why she had been nervous but it didn't last long. Renee was and always would be a nervous person, and that was just how she worked. I didn't question it.

"Are you really sure you want to go? You could come with us, or I could stay back…" Renee drifted off; I could tell though that her eyes had lost their shine at the thought of staying behind and watching over me. I was a very normal teenager; at least I thought that I was despite the looks department, but I also knew that I wasn't someone that needed to be left alone.

"No, you don't need to stay behind, Mom. Everything is going to be okay, Dad will be there. I'm not going to be all alone," I reassured her, knowing that she didn't want me to call him Charlie. I didn't want her anymore upset, so I appeased her.

Renee slumped, knowing that she had tried but it seemed as though I would still be going to Forks. "All right, just call me or email me when you get settled in. I'll have to call Charlie to get you to talk to me, if I have to."

I felt tiredness wash through me, knowing that what she said couldn't be further than the truth. I was tired of conversing with her; I never was a talkative person. I believed that I had gotten that from Charlie.

"I promise I will, Mom. You have nothing to worry about. Love you." I had let her know and now she would be counting down the hours, or maybe the seconds depending on what mood Renee was in, before I would land and then she'd calculate when I would arrive at the house.

"I love you too, Bella."

I glanced up at the departure sign to see what time I would be leaving, knowing that I only had a few more minutes until they would let the passengers on the plane. I soaked in the sunlight that was shimmering around me, I soaked in the loud conversations that were stirring around me, and I soaked in the knowledge that I would be trading all of this for the damp and coldness of Forks.

At least I would be going to Charlie. He was a good father, he really was, and he just was a lot like me. We didn't like expressing our feelings that much. We could sit and eat a whole meal together and not feel pressured to talk to each other, though at first we might try to start conversations.

When it was time for me to leave Renee wrapped her arms around me and held me tight in her arms, so that she could have one last moment with her only child, me, Bella Swan.

I managed to pry myself off of her and she nodded her head before I went to get on my plane. It happened to be a four hour flight from Phoenix to Seattle, and then I would have an hour long flight in a small plane to Port Angeles. Finally, I would have an hour long drive down to Forks with Charlie.

A part of me groaned at the thought of having to sit an hour long with Charlie, but another part of me knew that I would be safe with him. It was one of the benefits of having a cop for a father, especially since his cruiser helped with my mental help. That was just me though.

It didn't surprise me when it came to the sight of it raining in Seattle, or Port Angeles, since it was Washington State that we were talking about. I knew that I wasn't going to take it as an omen; I had no reason to do so.

Now, I stood in the airport in Port Angeles. The irritating tapping on the windows made me think of someone that was tapping harshly against an aquarium tank. I was the fish within the aquarium tank, I didn't want there to be that incessant tapping, but I had to deal with it. That was what came with the rain.

I shifted in my sleeveless white eyelet lace, with my purple Parka on so that it would conceal some of my scars. I wore comfortable jeans and some tennis shoes. My dark brown hair was tucked back behind my ears and my brown eyes began the motion of flickering around, though I could only see through my left one.

"Bella, there you are!"

I snapped my head in the direction of where Charlie was. He was happy to see me here but obviously he didn't know how to approach the fact that I had decided to spend the rest of my junior year, along with my whole senior year here. Still he wore one of his trademark button-up shirts that had a light weight sweater under it, a pair of casual jeans and random shoes he had decided to throw on.

His brown eyes had warmth towards me, his mustache was twitched up and his black hair was surprisingly fuller than I remembered it being. He reached me and took my duffle bag without hesitation before he went to put his hand around my back, paused, but I looked up at him.

"It's nice to see you, Dad. I'm not opposed to touching…today at least," I admitted, allowing him to place his hand against my back so that he could direct me towards where the front sliding doors of the airport were.

I went to grab my sunglasses but as we walked out I wasn't welcomed with the sunlight like I had in Phoenix. I instead flipped my hood up over my head, the fur lining blocking a little more of my left side view.

"So how's Renee? Is she doing well?" Charlie asked me when we had gotten into the cruiser and I put my things in the floorboard in front of me. I preferred them closer to me than in the back.

"She's happy, Phil is a decent guy," I replied, earning a nod from Charlie. He never said anything about how he felt about Phil, though everyone was surprised when he decided to come to the wedding in September. Unlike some thought, Charlie and Renee had a good friendship with each other, it took a while for it to happen but in the end they became friends again.

"Good, good," Charlie mumbled before he began to the drive back down to Forks. He was quiet the rest of the way, and so was I. He stopped at a gas station once to get something to drink and had asked me if I wanted something, I told him I was all right but when he came out with my favorite soda in the plastic convience store bag I felt warmth wash through me at the little gesture he made for me.

"Thanks, Dad," I mumbled before I took a sip of my soda, earning a gruff, "You're welcome, Bells."

I peered out at the scenery that was around us, all I could see for miles was green. I liked green, it was a nice color, it reminded me of the cacti back in Arizona and other such things but I was overwhelmed with the moss and leaves that were coating the brown barks of the trees.

I felt alienated from all of this; it had been years since I had seen all of this. Everything looked the same but I didn't know if I should expect any change.

Charlie had the radio on, not that high, but it still allowed music to reverberate throughout the cruiser. I let my eyes close and lean against the car door, knowing that to some it might be odd that I hadn't taken off my purple Parka but I just liked having the hood up. I was warm and comfy; I was the opposite of what I would feel like if I was outside at the moment.

Eventually we arrived to Forks, and I peered at the small numbered population that was on the sign. Phoenix was bigger than Seattle; I couldn't imagine what I would do when I was in a town where there were only a couple hundreds of people. I wasn't accustomed to such a small town.

I knew that they had long memories, and that I had gotten a get well soon card when I had been in the hospital after the car wreck. I hadn't cared to keep it anymore but Charlie kept it. As far as I knew he still had the card.

"I think that you're going to like it here, Bella," Charlie spoke, breaking the silence between us. I turned so that I was looking at him, noting that he was tapping his fingers against the leather steering wheel. I could tell that he was waiting for me to roll my eyes and scoff at him.

"Let's just leave it up to interpretation, Dad," I responded to him before I watched people walk throughout the center of the town to the different family owned stores. Some of the people paused and turned to wave at Charlie, while others paused when they saw that I was in the passenger seat.

Yes, it seemed as though today was the day that Charlie's beloved daughter would come back to stay, well at least until after graduation. I was already counting down the days in my mind. I was ready to be without the hold of my parents, though I had to admit that I felt safer with Charlie than with Renee.

Eventually we pulled up to the house that Charlie and Renee had bought shortly after they had gotten married. It was a small, two bedroom house. There was nothing remarkable about it; it had worn out paneling from the weather beating down all the time on it. There could be some repainting on the front door, along with other things. Still though, this was supposed to be the house where I was to be raised up in.

We headed up the front steps to the worn out porch of the house, and Charlie cleared his throat behind me. I moved out of the way and he sat down my bag before he unlocked the front door. He allowed me to enter first, and then he came in—shut the door and locked it behind him.

"I'll…um…show you your room…" Charlie cleared his throat again before he headed up the wooden stairs, I followed behind him silently. I glanced around, noting that everything looked the exact same. It wasn't musty though, so that was good. He still took care of the house enough that it didn't smell like an old mausoleum or a really stuffy thrift store.

We stopped outside of my bedroom and I glanced in. I was welcomed with the same west bedroom that overlooked the front yard, the same light blue walls along with the same peaked ceiling. Yellowed lace curtains covered the window, though the curtains were drawn back so that I could look out to the front yard.

A secondhand computer with a modem phone line was stapled on the floor to the closest phone jack so that I could converse with Renee. If I didn't answer her within a time limit she would end up calling Charlie and demand that he would hand the phone to me. I'd get a scolding and then I'd tell her what had happened, which right now wasn't anything to begin with.

The crib that sat on the west wall had been transitioned to a full size bed with a simple white iron bed frame, along with a purple covet and matching pillows. The sheets underneath the bed covet were flower printed; they were lilacs. It was girlish and although a part of me repulsed all the girlishness I admired the determination that Charlie had when it came to choosing purple because it was a favorite color of mine.

"Thanks…Dad," I managed to mumble to him, he nodded his head as he entered and sat my bag onto my bed. He went to kiss me on the forehead but paused, as though he was rethinking on kissing me on the forehead.

Something struck me though, and I reached out to take his hand before I pulled him closer to me. I leant against him and just soaked in the scent that made up Charlie Swan. It was completely impulsive and I knew that any other time I would want him to go away, which I would have him go away after this, but the knowledge that Charlie loved me this much to try and make me feel at home meant the world to me.

I wasn't the happiest girl on the planet, I wasn't a very social person, I was often sarcastic, and I was a plain looking girl. Not really anymore, I was a very long time ago, but I wasn't the best looking girl in the world. My scars and my eye kind of either had people embrace me or they would push themselves away from me.

Unpacking my things, I put my clothes into my closet and made sure that they would be organized on weather patterns. I knew that this would be something that I would have to do up here. Down in Phoenix I didn't really think about it, Renee often organized my bedroom closet.

It was actually something that she was picky about. She would make sure that the colors were from brightest to darkest. That didn't mean that the colors were organized together though, she was odd in that manner. She just made a system that worked for her, and I would end up working through that system.

Now though I had something that was a lot more organized.

I sighed and sat down on my bed before I plopped back. I knew that it was Sunday, so that meant that tomorrow I would end up having to go to Forks High School. The school population was three hundred and fifty seven (now fifty eight) total, while in Phoenix my junior class more than seven hundred.

Groaning, I moved onto my side so that I could look at the window. The rain continued to fall harshly, and I moaned at the knowledge that I could still be in Phoenix where it would be warm. I could be sun bathing, instead I had decided to come up here so that I could be a good daughter to my parents.

I doubted that I would find anything that would make me as happy as I was in Phoenix when I was here.

Twilight doesn't belong to me