Title: Bear the Burden of Responsibility

Rating: K+ (for now, rating may go up with later chapters)

Summary: "May?" his voice cracked on the single word. May slowly stepped into the room, and as she approached, Peter's lips formed a thin, tight line. His chin quivered slightly, and she saw tears starting to form in his eyes. Sort of the beginnings of a resolution to Infinity War.

A/N: So I felt like I should put a little trigger warning on this (see below). It's not anything I personally feel is too descriptive, but better safe than sorry. Mostly this is because time travel is fun, my own theory for everything is that they are somehow going to use the time stone for all of this, and Peter knowing he was dying/dissolving (possibly due to his spidey-sense) and having it play a prominent role is moving things along. Is that likely? No, probably not, but it still is fun to play with. This story does not take into account anything in the End Game Trailer (it was written before that trailer came out) and I am not sure if it will use it as it continues. It's still growing and maturing, so I'm just gonna see where this one takes us.

Chapter Title is from Fly Like an Eagle by Steve Miller Band.

***TRIGGER WARNING***

There is a mild description of the signs of/dealing with a panic attack.

May sighed as she kicked the door shut behind her, wrestling with her umbrella and overlarge purse. It was a long shift, and she was feeling it down to her bones. Sometimes, I feel like I'm 80 instead of 50, she thought to herself with a light chuckle as she shook the rain off her umbrella before setting it in its stand. She dropped her bag on the couch as she walked by, then shrugged her coat off and leaned it over the backrest. The woman sighed again as she looked down at her stained scrubs. She was in such a rush to leave that she didn't even bother changing her clothes. Seeing the small dots of red on her shirt by her hip made her regret this decision somewhat. She rubbed at her eyes, seeing the blood-covered face of a little girl with curly brown hair staring at her with fear in her doe eyes. May repressed a shudder as she made her way back to the kitchen. She filled the kettle with tap water and placed it on the stove, shaking her body to get over the feeling of claustrophobia. This was their home for only a few months now, and she was still getting used to the downgrade in her kitchen. She tried to remind herself that she didn't need a huge kitchen, she didn't ever cook much anyway. That was always Ben's area of expertise. She smiled a little as she pulled a tea tin from the cupboard, thinking fondly of him shooing her away from his dishes. "I love you, May, but you are not coming near my sauce. Do you want to poison me and Pete? Go on, woman!"

She started pulling a mug out of a different cabinet when a horrible scream startled her, causing the mug to fall from her fingers and onto the floor. May rushed out of the kitchen and back towards Peter's bedroom, throwing open the door and switching on the light. Peter was staring at his hands, flexing them slightly, eyes wide but unaware. "Peter?" she asked gently. Peter spun his head so fast, May was worried he would hurt himself. He stared at her with a startled, frightened look, oddly reminiscent of the little girl whose life she saved earlier.

"May?" his voice cracked on the single word. May slowly stepped into the room, and as she approached, Peter's lips formed a thin, tight line. His chin quivered slightly, and she saw tears starting to form in his eyes.

"Oh, honey," she said, forgoing her slow approach and rushing to his side. She sat at the edge of his bed next to him and smoothed his sweat drenched curls away from his forehead. His skin was clammy yet hot to touch. "Peter, you're burning up. Are you sick?" she spoke softly, looking into his eyes for other signs of illness. She placed her hands on his shoulders, looking over his face. The jersey fabric of his t-shirt clung to his skin. "God, babe, you sweat through your clothes. Good thing you're on break right now, I wouldn't let you go to school in this state."

"…Break?" Peter's whispered.

"Yes honey, school just let out for winter break a couple of days ago. On Friday, remember? We don't have to worry about you missing school, so at least there's that. I don't want you out patrolling tomorrow. New York can do without Spider-Man while you're getting well," she said frowning, rubbing her thumb against his collarbone. Suddenly, her nephew lurched forward with a sob, thrusting his face to her shoulder and wrapping his arms around her tightly. "Whoa, whoa sweetie it's okay. You're alright," she soothed, rubbing his back. Peter shook his head minutely, crying against her. "Did you have a bad dream, sweetheart?" He murmured something unintelligible against her, and the only words she could discern was 'saw Ben.' Her heart ached as she wondered about his nightmare. He must have been dreaming about the night Ben was shot. "Peter, Peter honey it was just a dream," she said. "I miss him too." Peter shook his head more vigorously now, clutching her even more tightly to him. The air left her lungs in a sudden whoosh and she coughed a little, struggling for breath. "Too tight, Peter, calm down," the second she said the words his grip relaxed, but his crying seemed to increase. "Peter," she pulled away from him, gripping his shoulders again. Tears were flowing down his face and his mouth was pressed closed. Trauma was written all over his features, alarming May. The woman nodded once, firmly, plan in place.

"Alright. I've got some water boiling. You are going to the bathroom to clean yourself up while I go to the kitchen to make us some tea. Then you and I will sit in the living room together and you can talk to me about this, okay?" she said, gripping his shoulders a little tighter to ensure her words sunk in. Instead of calming him, Peter shook his head rapidly, gripping May's forearms. "Or I can stay in here with you, but Peter you'll be more comfortable after a shower and some clean clothes," she said firmly. Peter drew in a shuddering breath and nodded slightly, but when May started to get up to take care of the tea, Peter wouldn't let go of her arms.

"I'm here, sweetie. I'm here, I'm just going to be in the next room, okay?" Peter slowly released her and watched her leave the room. She left the door open, not wanting eyes and ears off her boy if she could help it. After she returned to the kitchen, she pulled down a separate tea canister. She preferred chamomile, but Peter preferred peppermint. She bent down and picked up the mug she dropped earlier, which miraculously did not break. After setting the now dirty dish in the sink, she pulled down two new mugs, letting out a relieved breath when she heard the shower kick on. The water hadn't boiled yet, so she went to her room and quickly changed out of her dirty scrubs and into a pair of yoga pants and a tank top. She pulled her long, dark hair into a loose bun and headed back into the kitchen when she heard the kettle whistle. As she passed the bathroom, she heard the shower shut off.

After a few minutes of putting together the tea (extra honey for Peter because he liked it sweet), Peter came to the kitchen to find her, clad in clean, dry pajamas with slightly damp hair. He twisted the bottom of his t-shirt nervously, rocking back and forth.

"Tea's ready. Do you want to go back to your room?" Peter shook his head. May's eyebrows furrowed. "Alright. Do you want to sit on the couch?" Peter looked back towards the living room, then nodded once. May grabbed the tea and gestured for him to follow her. She settled on the couch and soon Peter did the same, sitting very close to May. He picked up his tea and cradled it in his hands. May waited for Peter to speak, but after several long minutes where neither of them moved, she decided to break the silence. "Do you want to tell me about your dream?" she asked, gently.

Peter shook his head a little before clearing his throat. "I—I don't' think it was a dream."

"Was it when Ben…" even after all this time, May still had trouble saying the words. Peter shook his head again.

"No, no May I saw Ben. I was with him. I'm pretty sure that I died," he said in a rush. May's eyebrows shot straight into her hairline.

"What?"

"No, I know it sounds crazy but I'm sure it wasn't a dream. I'm positive," Peter said, getting agitated. His hands shook enough that the tea started sloshing out of the mug before he decided to set it down.

"Peter, you're very much alive and well," May said slowly. Peter gripped his hair. May gently pried his fingers away from his scalp.

"May I know! I know that but… but I'm sure that I did die. I—I felt myself dissolve, and I was with Ben and Mom and Dad, and there was this crazy skeleton lady—" Peter was breathing rapidly, eyes flicking everywhere at once.

"Okay, okay," she said calmly. "Breathe with me okay?" she put his hand over her sternum just under her clavicle and placed her other hand over his heart. "Feel my breath. In and out," she said, taking slow, deep breaths. Peter trembled and couldn't seem to hear her. "I want you to look at your mug. Do you see it?" Peter nodded. "Describe it to me. What does it look like?"

"May, this s-s-st-stupid," he choked out, but didn't move away. She kept her grip firm on his hand.

"Describe the mug. Look at it and describe it to me. Try to match my breaths," she said calmly, still breathing slowly and deeply. Peter looked at the object in question, and slowly started describing it in halting words. The color, "it's brown," size, "it's one of my bigger mugs," shape, "it looks like Chewbacca," slowly his breaths started to match hers and his trembling ceased as he described the mug in more detail, prompted by May's questions. Tears started streaming down his face again, but he was no longer hyperventilating. It appeared May managed to head off his panic attack in good time, tonight.

"Are you calm?" she asked gently. Peter nodded, looking away from the mug and back at her. She let go of his hand and he set it in his lap, lip still quivering. "Alright. Now tell me what happened? Because Peter, I know you go through a lot of weird things as Spider-Man, but I'm pretty sure we'd both know if you d-died," she said, stumbling over the last word.

"I don't think you did," he whispered, shivering a little. She blinked at him but held her tongue. "I mean, I don't know if anyone told you. We were… we were off planet. We were somewhere in space, fighting this giant purple alien… I don't know if Mr. Stark ever got home," he said quietly. More and more this sounded like a bizarre nightmare. Peter winced a little. "Okay, I know this sounds crazy, but it wasn't a dream," he moaned. Everything in his body was begging her to believe him.

"Start from the beginning," she asked.

Peter gripped his knees. "I was on the field trip to MoMA, and there was this space ship in Manhattan, so I got off the bus to see if I could help. Mr. Stark was there, and we had to save this wizard? But we weren't able to beat the aliens, and they caught the wizard and took him on the space ship." Peter paused, furrowing his eyebrows, as if he couldn't believe the words that were coming out of his mouth.

"Go on," May prompted.

"Right. Right, so then we got on the space ship and Mr. Stark gave me a like… Iron-Man-Spider-Man suit? An Iron-Spider suit? I don't know. It was a really good suit. Once we got on the space ship, we saved the wizard by recreating that scene from Aliens? You know where Ripley shoots the Xenomorph queen out of the airlock at the end before they all go into hypersleep? It was showing at the second-run theater?"

May knew what scene Peter was talking about, but she hadn't thought he'd seen that movie yet. She planned on taking him to see it in the theater when it came out, knowing how much he liked the first one. She frowned as she thought on his statement. They hadn't been to the movies together in months. It seemed like between her work schedule and his school and after school activities, they just didn't have the time. She nodded for Peter to continue.

"So, yeah, so we got rid of the alien bad guy, and saved the wizard, who said his name was Strange. Doctor Strange? I don't know. Everyone knows Mr. Stark, and I told the guy my name, but he wanted to use his superhero name, I guess. Then some other aliens and a guy from Missouri showed up and we got in this huge fight, then we were on some ruined planet, and we were there for a really long time. Then we fought this giant purple guy and almost won but ended up losing because he killed Starlord's girlfriend—Starlord was the guy from Missouri—and then next thing I know everyone is dissolving and I felt really weird, and my spidey-sense was going nuts, and I felt myself disintegrating from the inside…. Then... then this skeleton lady shows up, and she was scary, May, so scary!" Peter babbled on about the skeleton lady for a while. Apparently, she left quite an impression on her nephew. "Then I managed to run away from her and I got lost, but Ben found me somehow, and took me to Mom and Dad, and we all just… just were together for a while," he was crying again, sniffling and wiping his nose with the back of his hand.

May's heart broke for her child. Peter suffered so much loss at such a young age and was under tremendous stress now. Having such fantastical nightmares was a perfectly normal way for his subconscious to deal with it. "Then Doctor Strange found me, and said that Mr. Stark had a choice, and depending on how he chose it would affect everything, and he said he was sorry that I would have to re-remember when no one… no one else…." Peter trailed off, staring at his mug again. "He said I would have to… have to find him, and somehow convince Mr. Stark… that…."

May rubbed Peter's back soothingly, waiting for him to finish.

"I sound like a crazy person," he said, new tears in his eyes.

She exhaled slowly, sighing in relief that he saw the nightmare for what it was. "No, Peter. We all have weird dreams that can feel so real. Your brain is trying to process all the stress you've been through—"

"It wasn't a dream, May," he said, panicked. May sighed. "Please, May, you have to believe me, it wasn't a dream!"

"Peter, you said you were on a space ship where you save a wizard and met a group of aliens with a man named Starlord from Missouri," May said in as even a tone as she could manage.

"I know! I know but… the tree is still up! Why is the tree still up?" May turned to their tiny Christmas tree sitting on the end table, glowing merrily. "And look outside!" he exclaimed, standing up and moving to the window. She could see in the streetlamps the raindrops had turned to snowflakes.

"Yes?"

"It's snowing!"

"So?"

"It's April!"

"No, Peter it's December." Peter growled and gripped his hair again. May stood up and walked to him, grabbing his hands.

"I'm not crazy, May!"

"I didn't say you were, sweetie. I just think you need to take a few deep breaths and maybe try to get some sleep."

"You got me the Indiana Jones box set for Christmas," he declared, triumphantly. "And Nana Rose got you and me matching ugly sweaters."

May scowled. "Did you peek at the presents, young man?"

"What? No, of course not. I know because it already happened for me!" she shook her head at him, opening her mouth to scold him. "May, you just said school just let out? On Friday? What day is today?"

May sighed and looked at her watch. "It's technically very early Monday morning."

"Okay… okay I remember that weekend. You had a really rough shift tonight. You saved a little girl who was in a car crash and you found out she was the only surviving member of her family and she would be going to live with her godparents."

May frowned, looking at Peter. "What? How did you…" there was no way Peter could know what she had done unless he was there. "Were you out patrolling around the hospital?" she asked with a frown. It was several hours ago, and within the realm of possibility that Peter was out late, taking advantage of May's absence.

"I know because you told me! I know because tomorrow I'll get home from patrol, and there'll be a burnt lasagna, and you'll tell me about it during dinner before we'll watch Elf!" Now May pressed her hand to her chest. Peter had no way of knowing she just bought that DVD on a whim from the 24-hour mart by the subway station. Except when she turns to her bag lying innocuously on the couch, she sees the case has slid out, showing the title and Will Ferrell's grinning face

They stare at each other; the only sound is the rushing of traffic in the streets below and Peter's less panicked but still heavy breathing. Finally after she can no longer take the tension, she speaks.

"Peter, I don't know what's happening," she began, "and everything you're saying sounds very… unreal." Peter opened his mouth to argue but closed it again when she held a hand up. "But I don't want to discount what you're saying. Yes, in my head I can come up with all sorts of reasons you would dream this up and believe it to be real, but we do live in a world where aliens show up from the sky, and drones attack six-year-old boys wearing Iron Man masks," she said with a tight smile. "So let's compromise, okay?"

Peter's frown deepened. "How?" he asked, quietly.

"You and I are going to sleep on it. We can sit up and fall asleep to a movie, or I can sit with you in your room until you fall asleep. Hell, if you want you can fall asleep in my bed with me," she chuckled at the embarrassed blush adorning his features. "Then tomorrow morning you can tell me about this again when I know for sure you hadn't just dreamed it up. Deal?"

Peter glanced back to his bedroom, then rubbed the back of his neck nervously.

"Deal, sweetie?"

Peter sighed and dropped his hand. "I'm afraid to fall asleep," he said, and his voice sounded so frightened that May's heart broke all over again. Tears filled her eyes and she blinked them back.

"Well, why do you think I'm going to be with you until you fall asleep? Because I think your bunk bed is so comfortable?"

Peter let out a watery chuckle and smiled the way he did when he was trying so hard not to cry. "What if I don't wake up?" May wrapped her arms tightly around her nephew.

"Peter Benjamin Parker," she whispered sternly in his ear, "don't you talk like that. You'll wake up, and I'll make us French toast and coffee and we'll talk this out. Do you understand me?" He nodded into her shoulder.

They settled on the couch and threw on old reruns of Star Trek, and after a much shorter time than she expected, Peter was lying on his side with his head in her lap, sleeping soundly. She idly combed his curls with her fingers before getting up to put a blanket over him and settling in the armchair to sleep. They had a lot to go over in the morning.

A/N: Me, I personally like the theory that Peter Parker actually knew what was happening to him at the end of Infinity War because of his Spidey Sense. The first time I heard that theory I was like, "Oh please, can that be a canon thing?" Then later I heard the bit about how it was improvised and I'm guessing the directors and writers will not go that way... but still. Wouldn't it be cool? That's what started this. Also, in regards to May and her pet names; in the comics I've noticed them a lot, and that is a personal Mom behavior from me (I'm sure when my child is older it'll drive him crazy) that I passed on to May. This is considered a WIP for now, I'm working on a couple more chapters (one mostly written and unedited, another only kind of sitting in my brain) and it will most likely just cover the beginnings of a Resolution for Infinity War. I don't have much of a plot fleshed out for an actual solution to what happened in Infinity War, so most likely this story won't go that far, but we'll see how inspiration strikes. Thanks for reading, and please review!

Oh, did anyone see who I happened to slip in there? It's mad-obvious to me, but maybe not. :) This may tie into a different cross-over idea one day...