"After rigorous selection, let me be the first to welcome you to Winslow High."

I shake my head and blink a few times but I still see a blonde middle-aged woman with 'I would like to speak to your manager' haircut in front of me. The floodgates open and details about my surroundings pour in. I'm in a chair in office with a dire need of new wallpaper and the only other occupant is sitting behind a desk with a nameplate that reads 'Principal Dorean Blackwell'. Her fake (how do I know that?) smile wanes a little.

"Is something wrong?" she asks with clearly fake (again-how?) concern.

"Uhm... No, it's nothing, I just remember something weird." She obviously doesn't believe me but chooses not to press.

"Then here is the finalized paperwork, everything you need is in these. I suggest coming here before the semester begins so you can familiarize yourself with your office and the building but for now that will be all. I hope that you're going to have a long career in our faculty."

She stands up, hands me a stack of papers and we shake hands.

I exit the office and look around confused. Like everybody, I had some strange dreams in my time but this takes the cake. The lucidity and level of detail notwithstanding, why would I dream about the last part of a job interview? Pinching myself doesn't help so I might as well continue down the rabbit hole. It was a few years behind me but school halls are immediately recognizable and that confounds me even more. School, job, semester, office, me, principal, I haven't thought this hard since… fuck if I know.

I would like to say that I respond to surprises and unexpected situations pretty well but this is straining my ability to cope. The dream scenario seems more and more incorrect with each passing moment and another option comes to mind. Roofies. But why would someone dump me here after extracting my organs and precious bodily fluids?

Calm thoughts. Calm and rational thoughts. I don't want to go back and ask someone who clearly doesn't give a shit so what can I do to clarify my situation? A quick scan of the paperwork at least gives me some information to work with. It's addressed to Daniel Valenta (well the first name is correct) and the gist of it is that I just accepted a position of Computer Science at Winslow High School in the city of Brockton Bay.

Hmm. Yeah. I see what's going on. No, actually I don't but a certain part of my brain is coming up with explanations. Either this is a giant prank and I'm being filmed or… fuck. Staying here is probably not going to help me so I start to move towards the exit.

Close to the front door, I rifle through my pockets for further clues. I discover that I'm wearing a suit. That might be the strangest thing yet. Well, if the option of 'I-don't-want-to-say-it' is true then I guess it would be in poor taste to show up in jeans to this kind of job interview but still. So, what do we have here? One phone which requires further examinations, one set of keys, one pack of tissues and a wallet. The phone and wallet need to wait until I have both hands free but the keys show promise as one of them is clearly a car key.

Where would I find a parking lot around here? Oh yeah, right in front of me. Reaching it I press the central locking button. Faint sound to my left is my reward. Following it I reach a car which is (drumroll) 2009 Chevy Impala. Huh. Well, at least the spare parts are gonna be common.

Putting my stuff on the passenger seat I finally get to properly examine it. Wallet first. Driving license with not my DOB, some dudes photo and current address - potentially useful, credit card and about 200 bucks - very useful. Thus ended the examination. What? That's it?. Not even a library card or an expired condom packet from 10 years ago? Let's hope the phone treats me better. It's looking pristine but kinda old at the same time. Unlocking it with just a slide I stare at the screen.

8.17.2009. The wonders never cease. WHAT TYPE OF GODDAMNED MONTH IS 17? After everything, this, this right here is the last GODDAMNED STRAW! ...I confess that I may have overreacted just a little bit as a realization of certain facts sets in. English. Chevrolet. Dollars. Brocton Fucking Bay. I'm in the USA, aren't I? You know what, no, my reaction was completely appropriate. BACKWARD-ASS SAVAGES! SWITCH TO PROPER DATE SYSTEM LIKE THE REST OF THE WORLD!.

Then the second part of the date hits me. 2009. That calms me down instantly. Huh. I go back to the driving license and find that the DOB is correct with an accounting of ten years of time travel. Plus after checking in the mirror I connect the owner photo with my face which is completely different from the original. Having no glasses and seeing in HD is a strange but welcome change.

I go back to the phone to find (once again) nothing much else. Contacts are empty, no apps beyond the factory ones and nothing in the memory. I don't know what I expected by this point. The glove compartment also produces bupkis. A long sigh escapes me and seeing no more useful items I decide to drive to (I guess) my home and… I don't know, drink myself to oblivion? That option is tempting since I'm beginning to accept the reality of this whole mess.

Another problem throws itself at me as my foot strike the ground where should be the clutch. I look beneath and find only two pedals... Just close your eyes and think of England. Wait no, don't think of England. They're even worse than Americans, at least they drive on the right side of the road. Thankfully I know how to operate both types of transmission. Also thankfully the car has navigation.

My possibly new home is not that far from school grounds, 20 min of leisurely drive later I'm there. Based on the mailbox (empty) I live on the 5th floor of a decent apartment building.

I dump everything on the kitchen table. A quick tour of the apartment produces similar disappointing results as my personal belongings. No real art or decorations, the only expensive items seem to be a high-end PC, wall mounted TV and bike in the hallway. The bathroom contains only one shampoo and one toothbrush so I'm probably living alone. Finally familiar grounds. This is pretty much the same as my place.

Now, where is the booze? Besides the occasional beer, I generally don't drink but if this isn't the perfect moment, I don't know what is. The fate of Earth Bet will have to be put on pause, I have a date with a massive hangover.