An all-enveloping warmth welcomed Edward as the last vestiges of a dream dissipated back into reality. A pleasant dream leading into a pleasant reality. For such a long time, Ed never thought either would be possible to him, that he would ever get pleasant moments of respite, or that he would even deserve them.

The house was warm for it being a February morning, warm enough that Ed didn't dread the idea of leaving the oasis of blankets that had kept in his body heat. The sun streaked in through the slit of the thin curtains, golden hues of peach and pink welcoming the late winter morning.

Ed breathed in a long, awakening breath, face still halfway in the pillow, but perked up a bit as his nose registered the smell of cinnamon. Cinnamon and sugar and syrup and about a dozen other comforting smells that reminded him he was home.

The soft, lazy patter of feet walking down the hall caused Ed to turn over. In the doorway, his wife stood, greeting him with that familiar sunshine smile. Her fine hair tied back from the day before and spilling out, falling over the shoulders of the pink silk nightgown she still wore, Ed lied there as Winry's eyes met his.

Seeing him awake, she walked over and crawled onto the bed beside him. "Morning," she murmured with a languid kiss on his lips.

"Hey," he replied, voice still drowsy. "Do I smell pancakes?"

She pushed his bangs out of his eyes and pressed her forehead to his with a humored scoff. "Awake for two minutes and you're already hungry? I thought your appetite would stop being a bottomless pit when Al got his body back."

Ed grinned back mischievously. "Come on, Win, you should know by now that's not gonna happen. Besides, your baking the best, I can't help it."

She preened at the compliment and sat up. "Sara is helping. James and I went to the market yesterday and got all the ingredients after we picked up the supplies for our next order. We also got stuff for stew and pie later if you want."

Ed's grin widened. "Have I ever told you you're the best damn wife ever?" He sat up and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

Winry rolled her eyes. "Geez, you're so easy to please." She smiled softly at him. "Happy birthday by the way."

Ed groaned and flopped back down.

"What's the matter?"

"I forgot it was my birthday. Winry...I'm old."

Winry laughed; there was no malice in it, but Ed still felt indignant. "Ed, you're turning thirty. That barely constitutes as old. Do you know what Granny would say if she heard you talking like that?"

"She'd probably tell me I don't know what old is because I'm still the height of a five year old. Which I'm not!" He threw his hands over his face. "Still, I feel old. Winry, do you realize that means we've been married for nearly ten years?"

"I know, Edward, I was there. We have five kids too or had you forgotten?"

Ed pulled his hands away from his face to give her a petulant look. "No, of course I haven't forgotten."

"Well, I couldn't tell, considering you're moping like a teenager."

Ed rolled his eyes and slumped down further into the pillows. Damn. Thirty years. It didn't seem that long. It felt like he had just been a snotty know-it-all teenager ragging on a Mustang for being the same age he was now.

Winry gave him a sympathetic look and leaned in to kiss his pout. "If it makes you feel any better, I still love you, even with your gray hairs."

She pulled away as Ed abruptly shot up. "I don't have gray hair! Winry, what the h—"

"Here." She slapped something on his chest, and when she pulled her hand away, Ed could see a yellowed envelope sitting against the white of his night shirt.

He looked up at Winry to see a knowing smiling on her face and something sad in her eyes. It had occurred to Ed not long after receiving his first letter that his mother must have given them all to Pinako to send each year. The Rockbells were the only ones whoo had a general idea where he and Al were each year, especially considering how many letters had shown up without addresses while they were in Resembool, and how the ones at the military dorms had his specific mailing information.

Since the old hag had died, the tradition must have fallen to Winry. Ed didn't know how much about the letters Pinako must have explained to Winry, but it was obvious enough Winry knew who the author was. Whether she was thinking about Trisha, or about her own parents' deaths, Ed didn't know.

Suddenly he felt bad Winry had never had the sort of closure he and Al got. They had had to say goodbye to their mother, and no matter how painful it had been, at least they had gotten one. And they had their letters to keep her voice and words alive for decades after. Winry didn't have that, and even after all these years, Ed knew it still hurt her. Some wounds never fully healed.

Winry blinked the sad look away and climbed out of bed, smiling down at him as if the somber moment had never occurred. "Well, I've got to go make sure Sara doesn't burn those pancakes. Come down when you're ready, 'kay?"

Ed watched his wife disappear down the hall, in awe that she could still leave him feeling like he was still an awkward fifteen year old after so many years. They had been through a lot since they had been awkward teenagers fumbling with newfound emotions. Traveling, Ed to the west, Winry to Rush Valley. A wedding that had practically been an international incident, when the Xingese emperor had decided to attend. Winry taking over the Rockbell Automail business, and Ed acting as her occasional assistant. The tireless research with Al, the visits to Xing, the small army of kids he and Winry had somehow found themselves with. It had been a lot for his thirty years, but seeing where he had ended up, Ed wouldn't change any of it.

He looked down at the envelope sitting innocuously where Winry had left it. Ed felt his chest constrict. Thirty years. The time Ed had spent without his mother greatly surpassed the time he ever got with her, and he was years older now than she had ever gotten to be.

Ed blinked back the sudden moisture in his eyes. Guess it was true some wounds never fully healed. Without giving his mind another moment to sulk, Ed ripped the delicate edge of the envelope open and pulled the letter from its sleeve.

My Dearest Darling Edward,

Even after all these years, his mother's writing remained the same, a relic of a different present, where she was still alive, and would always stay that way in the moment she had captured in her words.

I yearn to know the kind of man you have now grown to become. As I write this, I can see you and Alphonse playing outside, your laughter gives me strength that is so hard to come by these days, but not so much when I think of you boys. I'm sorry, Edward, but I don't think I will have this strength much longer. And I regret that I will not know you when you and Alphonse have grown into the kind, distinguished, intelligent young men I know you will both become.

It is odd to think about, if I am being honest. I know as you read this you are turning thirty, yet I cannot reconcile the image of you grown up with the young, carefree boy I can see now chasing his little brother around the yard. I know our world is far from perfect, but I know it will do a fine job raising you into a wonderful young man. It is my biggest regret that I will not be there to help you and Alphonse realize this.

I hope the years are kind to you, Edward, you sweet, beautiful boy, I hope you learn all you wish about your alchemy and travel the world. So long as you remember to come home every now and then. Resembool will miss you otherwise.

And if you have a family, Edward, be sure to take them with you wherever you may go. I don't know what may have happened with your father 25 years from now, but I wish he was here with us now, so you and Al will never have to feel that you are alone. I only hope whatever feelings of resentment you have for him have not turned you bitter. I hope he kept his promises and returned to you boys, as I know he wanted. If not, I know the Rockbells will have taken good care of you in our stead.

I'm afraid this may be my last letter, Edward. Even now it's getting more difficult to hold this pen and force my hand to write something legible.

I will miss you, my little man, but I hope that if you miss me, it doesn't leave you stung and hurt and feeling the world is unfair. I hope by now that you are happy, as I always want you to be, and that you have properly grieved and moved on with the wonderful life you deserve to have.

But, Edward, darling, I know there will be hard times, and I'm sure there already have been, but if you find, even all these decades later, that you miss your old mother, remember that I am always with you and Alphonse, remember I am with you in the wind that blows through the fields and shakes the clothes lines, I'm with you in the first blooms of springtime after a long winter. But most importantly, I am with you Edward, in your strong heart and your passion, and I am in your brother's kindness and patience.

I love you, my little man, forever and always,

Mom

Ed sank further back into the pillows, the letter lying face down, pressed against his chest. He heaved a deep sigh, feeling as if he had stepped out of long dream, as he always did after reading one of his mother's letters.

By now he could hear the sounds of his family moving around in the kitchen downstairs. Once they were all together, things were never quiet nor were they ever calm. Ed smiled; he wouldn't be happier any other way.

He got up and stretched, deciding to go for a walk before the pancake breakfast his family had so graciously put together in celebration of him. The cemetery wasn't too far, and he could pick up some flowers on the way. And after that, he would come back home, to his family, where the rest of his life was waiting for him.

Aaaaand that's all she wrote!

I've had this idea in my head for a few months now so I'm glad I finally got around to writing the whole thing down. It was a lot more daunting to write than I thought it would be. I am the farthest thing from a mother, and writing this fic made me realize I am the least motherly person to ever exist. Nevertheless! Hope you enjoyed, and thanks for reading this far! See y'all next time!