Hope all of you are holding up alright x

Because I cba for too much exposition- this takes place a couple of years after the last chapter. Rose started dating Adrian around Christmas of her 3rd (junior?) year of college, so 6 months after Dimitri left. Lissa kissed someone else so Christian broke up with her, and she moved into a modest apartment with Rose for their final year. The Guardians internship programme has definitely paid off for Rose, despite what it cost her...

Chapter 5

Graduation was an event I had been looking forward to for a long time. Lissa and I had spent forever searching for the perfect dresses to wear under our gowns, and I'd agonised over which hairstyle would look best in pictures. We'd even splashed on having a beautician come to our shared apartment this morning to do our hair any makeup. After all- photos from today were the evidence of our four years of sleepless nights finally paying off.

When I walked across that stage to collect my diploma, my friends hollered so loudly it was a little embarrassing. Christian's shouts of 'trip!' made me smile, and I pushed aside the feeling that somebody was missing.

Besides, someone else was there to fill the space of my former tutor and erstwhile lover. Janine Hathway's presence in a room full of Life Sciences students caused quite a stir, with some of the biochem students going as far as to ask for a picture with her. She gritted her teeth as she posed with hopeful future geneticists, but in the photos with me, her smile was genuine.

My mom's attendance of my graduation had been one hell of a shock, but I was in for another one when I returned to my flat after the ceremony to find Adrian sat on my bed with a face full of tears.

"What..?" I'd only come home to change my shoes and grab a jacket. I rushed to his side, cursing my blisters all the way. He'd been fine half an hour ago. What the hell could have happened since I'd left him outside the reception tent? "Adrian, what's wrong? Why aren't you already at the party?"

"When were you going to tell me, Rose?"

It was then that I noticed the sheaf of paper he clutched in his fist. I cringed at the crinkles in the documents but forced myself to focus on the more important issue. "It's really not that big of a deal."

"You're moving to the other side of the world, Rose. How the fuck is that not a big deal?!"

As Adrian waved his arms, I caught a whiff of whiskey. "You've been drinking."

"Of course I've been drinking, it's graduation." Adrian stood up, shaking my letters. "I came back here to surprise you, thinking we could fool around before we had to go and spend the rest of the night pretending not to notice that Lissa and Christian are sleeping together again, but I found this on your desk."

This didn't feel like the right time to mention that everyone else already knew about Lissa and Christian's rekindled romance. "I was going to tell you tomorrow. After the celebrations had died down a bit."

"So it is that big of a deal. Are you breaking up with me?"

"No! It's just a change, and I didn't want to worry you at graduation."

"You've had this letter for two months, Rose. You could have told me then."

Shit. I'd forgotten that the letter had a date on it. Exhausted from a long and emotional day, I went on the defensive. "I just didn't know how to tell you without you reacting like this."

That was the wrong thing to say. "Bullshit. You knew it would be the end of us, and you didn't want that getting in the way of your finals."

"I told you, we don't need to break up. We can make this work long-distance. You've got enough money for plane fares-"

"This isn't just you not wanting to come to DC with me, you're moving to fucking Siberia! It's like you can't get far enough away from me. I knew you were still in love with him at the start, but I thought you might come around to loving me eventually. If anything, you like me less now than you did when we met."

"That's really not possible," I laughed, hoping to defuse the tension. "You were such an ass back then."

"Everything is a joke to you." Adrian's tone was caustic. So much for avoiding a fight.

"No, you're the one that doesn't take things seriously. You knew when we met that I had career aspirations that might take me away from here. What about you? What happened to your dreams of becoming an artist and making it big?"

"I fell in love with you, and those dreams changed."

To be honest, we hadn't talked about the future in a long time- less than we had when we first got together. I'd been avoiding it because I knew, deep down, that those futures wouldn't align and I hadn't wanted to lose him.

Was I going to admit to this weakness, though? Hell, no. Faced with the truth of my own failures, I turned it around. After all, the best defence was a good offence. "Don't you dare blame me for your lack of future. You're lazy and you take everything for granted, that's what you barely passed your course."

"Is that what you really think of me?"

I let the silence speak the truth. Adrian had hit a nerve, and if I opened my mouth again, something worse would come out.

"Thanks a lot, Rose." His mouth twisted into a sneer. "Well, I hope you have fun telling Lissa. You're abandoning her too."

"She already-" I bit my tongue, but it was too late.

"You've already told her. You told her, but not me." I watched as the last pieces of Adrian's world crashed down around him. My gut twisted, and I wished I hadn't eaten so many sandwiches earlier. Adrian tossed the letter back onto my bed and stormed to the door. "Goodbye, Rose," he said without turning around. "I hope that Siberia is as cold as you."

The bedroom door slammed so hard that it made the whole room shake. A moment later, another mini earthquake hit as Adrian slammed the front door, too.

I looked from my PhD acceptance letter to the closed door and tried to make myself feel something. A two-year relationship had just ended, but my heart wasn't breaking. Not like it had before, anyway, when a different man had walked away because our careers were getting in the way.

There were tears in my eyes, but didn't feel like a breakup. It felt like I had just said goodbye to a friend who'd been drifting away already.

Before I touched up my makeup, I made a phone call. Into another shocking twist of fate, it wasn't Lisa's number I dialled.

"Mom, could you meet me at my place rather than the restaurant?"

The next morning found Lissa and I sprawled on our sofa nursing horrendous hangovers. Christian had returned to his own place after last night's festivities, but I had no doubt Lissa's would be joining him there soon. Despite how many times she told me she was happy to be living with me, She'd missed his apartment almost as much as she'd missed him during their estrangement.

Just my luck that she'd rekindle her romance just as mine crashed and burned. At least I'd have the to place myself to wallow in junk food should the urge strike.

I wasn't sure if it would.

"Am I a bad person?" I mumbled through the blanket that was pulled up to my chin.

"You really should have told him before," Lisa chastised with all the smugness of someone who had previously encouraged me to do just that. "But no, you're not a bad person. It takes two people to make a relationship work, and Adrian's not been the perfect boyfriend, either."

"He always brought me flowers, and took me out for dinner every week."

"You hate flowers, and you didn't have time for fancy dinners three times a week. Did he ever consider getting takeout and putting on a movie so you could relax, did he ever offer to proofread your work?" She looked at me slyly. "Did he ever keep you company when you were studying, or bring you a drink in the library?"

I ignored her last statement. "Those aren't Adrian things."

"And flowers and fancy dinners aren't Rose things. You were incompatable, at least towards the end, and that's nobody's fault.

I reached for a slice of cold pizza. Lissa's supportive words were improving my appetite if nothing else.

"I still should have talked to him about the future," I said around a mouthful of cheese.

"Yeah, you should have, but he could have started that conversation too. If he thought you'd be happy to move to DC to be nearer his family- who hate you, by the way- then he was crazy."

"Is that what he thought?" I'd wondered what he was talking about yesterday with all the talk of DC.

"See, total lack of communication on both your ends! I heard from Ava's other assistant that his dad wanted him to come home and work for the family business or his trust fund would magically disappear. Was Adrian looking for a job or anything?"

"No." I'd been needling him to start, but he'd seemed reluctant. With Lissa's information, it seemed like he was going to accept his asshole dad's proposal. Lissa's upcoming internship as senator Ava Drozdov's aide was already proving useful. "Maybe he just assumed I'd be following you to DC anyway."

"Yes, because there is such a wealth of arctic megafauna for you to study in the capital." Lissa's deadpanned. "Thought knowing that's your subject area would require him to have read your thesis."

That was a sore spot. "I'm not a big reader, Rose, and it's so long! I like the pictures, though."

"He always said I worked too hard, anyway."

"It's like I said, Rose, it takes two. Did he even ask you to stay? Show any interest in trying to make it work long-distance?" I shook my head. "See, it takes two. And it's not like you cheated or anything." Her cheeks pinked with the reminder of her own guilt.

I thought then of how I had to fight against Dimitri's insistence that we had to break things off. I remembered how I had railed against the injustice of it all, begged and bargained for a way to make things work, before ultimately realising that this was the best for both of us. Even then, amongst all of the pain, I'd never taken a cruel parting shot like Adrian had.

"He didn't ask me to stay," I repeated quietly. That was the only thing, other than my guilt at causing Adrian pain, that made my chest ache. "He said he loved me, but he didn't even try to fight for us."

Lissa shuffled along the couch to wrap an arm around my shoulders. "Not everyone's a fighter, Rose. I think that's why, ultimately, he wasn't right for you. You need somebody as brave as you are."

I knew Lissa was painting me a knight in shining armour, but all I could see was a scientist in a stupid cowboy duster.

I recently got a dm asking if I had an AO3 account, and it reminded me I'd been considering cross-posting my old stories as well as new ones over there from now on. Would anyone be keen for that? I'd still post here too, but I know I prefer to read on AO3 now (no ads, yay) and it might be nice to respond to your comments more easily. Let me know what you think :)