16 March 1974

"You shouldn't have agreed to no pranks during lessons," James grumbled. He was seated under a tree by the lake, playing with a Snitch he'd nicked after Quidditch practice. "At least not until we'd paid them back for the Cornish Pixies."

"It's for the best," Remus said, lying back in the grass with his hands locked behind his head. He had been the one to accept the girls' desperate olive branch on this front, much to his mates' dismay. "You lot got detention off the pixies even though you didn't orchestrate that. How do you expect you'd avoid punishment for something we actually doin class?"

"That's probably right," Peter said with a sigh. "Especially in front of McGonagall. Or Slughorn." He plucked a handful of grass and idly sprinkled it over Remus' booted feet. "He's got a blind spot where Lily's concerned."

"He wouldn't be the first," Sirius muttered, aggressively carving his initials in the tree with his wand. James flung the Snitch at him, but Sirius caught it in his left hand and tossed it back at James without even pausing in his spellwork. James scowled.

"Well, what do you suggest we do, then? We can't give up!"

"No, certainly not," Remus said gravely. He frowned, thinking, then raised an inquisitive eyebrow. "We could use a shrinking spell on all their robes? That's a girl's worst nightmare, isn't it?"

"But that's kind of mean, isn't it?" Peter asked tentatively. "Wouldn't be right to make someone feel bad just 'cause they might have gained a bit of weight." He subtly crossed his arms over his own stomach.

"Besides, we can't get to their dormitories, can we?" Sirius said, seemingly missing Pete's point. "But—" his eyebrows shot up, and he smirked "—I've got a brilliant idea."

.*.*.*.*.*.

Trusting in Sirius, the Marauders spent the next four days writing literally hundreds of love notes addressed to Lily, Mary, and Dorcas and arranging for them to be delivered during breakfast at the end of the week. Friday morning, they sauntered into the Great Hall, all smiles. If all went to plan, within a half an hour, there would be over a hundred owls in the dining hall, and the girls would be surrounded by stacks of letters so high they couldn't see.

The fruits of their labors were not immediately evident. "Sirius, this doesn't seem like the legendary prank you promised," Peter said, frowning, as Mary smiled at a note from her "Secret Admirer."

"Yeah," James agreed. "It just seems…sort of nice." He tried not to stare at Lily, whose cheeks were turning pink as she counted the cards piling up next to her plate.

"Just you wait 'til the owl traffic picks up," Sirius said confidently. "My cousin Andromeda told me about some prat during her time here who had about a thousand Valentines delivered to himself during breakfast. There were so many owls flapping about that Dumbledore had to close the Great Hall for the day! Feathers and bird feed and owl droppings everywhere." He bared his teeth in a devilish grin.

"Sounds…disgusting," Remus noted.

But a mischievous smile much like Sirius' now spread across James' face. "And brilliant! We'll be legends!"

Sure enough, not ten minutes later, Mary had twenty-three envelopes in front of her, Lily had twenty-seven, and Dorcas had at least thirty. And the owls continued to stream into the Great Hall, through every window and every doorway. Most made it to their intended targets without incident, but a few were circling overhead, hooting in confusion, and others were perched on windowsills or benches, apparently waiting for the hubbub to die down before they made their deliveries.

And the letters in front of the third-year girls continued to pile up. There were now no fewer than sixteen owls on the Gryffindor table, pecking at people's food and nudging envelopes towards Lily, Mary, and Dorcas. All around the Hall, students were ducking and screaming as owls knocked over their dishes and swooped low over their hands on their way to the Gryffindors.

"This is starting to look like it could be as bad for us as it is for them," Remus said, as he dodged left to avoid an owl headed for Dorcas. It landed on the table with a thud and dropped a letter on her breakfast plate.

"Well, that's how the girls felt about the pixies, isn't it?" James said, shrugging. He plucked an owl feather from Peter's pumpkin juice. "But sometimes, you have to sacrifice a bit to see a great prank through the end."

"That said," Sirius said, glancing toward the front of the hall, where Professor McGonagall was eyeing the commotion at the Gryffindor table with much suspicion, "I think the end is nigh. One of these bloody birds just stole my bacon, anyway. Gentlemen?"

The Marauders stood at the same time McGonagall did. Peter clapped a hand on Lily's shoulder as he turned to leave. "All this for you three," he said, grinning cheerily. "Someone must really like you girls." She made a rude gesture in response, but Peter just laughed heartily as he waved good-bye.

"Yes, this is a truly impressive show of affection," James added over his shoulder, as he and his friends hurried from the Great Hall before their beloved Head of House could reach them. "I hope you're not taking it for granted."

"Oh, of course not!" Dorcas called after them. "We'll have to be sure to return the favor."

"And soon!" Mary yelled, flinching as an owl perched on her shoulder. She shooed it away, and it hooted its annoyance. "Very, very, soon!"

...

AN: The prat who tried this before, for those who are interested, was Gilderoy Lockhart. It seems like won't let me link to it, but you can find it if you read the entry on Lockhart on Pottermore. The imagery cracked me up, so I had to incorporate it. I hope to have more ideas for this soon, but that's it for now! Reviews are always appreciated!