This is just a little fun thing I threw together, in honor of Robyn's Birthday (the-heart-alchemist on tumblr or Vanitas Lunar, our Fairy Queen of White Rose). Hope you enjoy!

Weiss pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed as she pushed the cart into the store. She knew she should have left Ruby at home, consequences be damned, but Ruby had flashed those unfr silver eyes and quivering lip and she folded like a paper towel. Weiss grumbled under her breath as she felt the air whip about her, Ruby flitting back and forth with ooh's and ah's. She desperately wished she hadn't agreed to get groceries this week, but Blake was busy.

You would think they could let Yang do it, but the last time they let Yang grocery shop, she came home banned from the grocery store for getting into a brawl with the carts after one of them tripped her, and Ruby couldn't be left unsupervised in a store for more than thirty seconds before somehow building a doomsday device and creating an explosion. Weiss had to pay twice as much as the store was worth to keep the true reason for the explosion out of the papers.

Weiss' musings were cut short when she realized that the cart, which previously had been moving along without trouble, suddenly felt weighed down. Weiss narrowed her eyes and glanced down, already sure of what she'd see but still had to verify with her own eyes, and...yup. Yup, the cart was full of Ruby-ceries, as she had come to call it.

"Hmm. Twenty two cans of...something vaguely resembling food, three boxes of instant noodles, twelve tv dinners, three boxes of strawberries, seven cases of soda, and six boxes of cookies. Only six? Are you feeling alright, Ruby?" Weiss asked in a bored tone, glancing around, only to just now realize she didn't know where Ruby was.

A burst of wind announced Ruby's return, Weiss' hair flying up into the air and landing in a haphazard pile on the top of her skull. She puffed her cheeks out and blew the strands of hair out of her eyes, seeing Ruby dropping another six boxes of cookies into the cart. Ruby paused as she noticed Weiss glaring at her, smiling sheepishly. "I, I couldn't carry it all in one go!" she announced to Weiss, conveniently ignoring the fact she knew exactly what Weiss was really getting at with that glare.

"Ruby...this is not food," Weiss stated in a deadpan tone.

"C'mon Weiss, it'll be fine! We'll just put some salt on it-"

"Salt doesn't save everything, Ruby." Weiss pursed her lips as Ruby arched an eyebrow, the red-cloaked woman planting one hand on her hip and letting a smirk cross her face. Weiss shook her head slightly to clear it, coughing politely into one hand before continuing. "You can't convince me with your hips this time, Ruby. Put it back!"

Ruby rolled her eyes with a huff. "Fine! I'll put some of it-"

"Most of it!" Weiss interjected.

"Most of it," Ruby replied in a mocking tone, gathering the foodstuffs. "Yang woulda been happy with this haul," Ruby muttered as she picked up packages.

"Yang would be happy if you brought her a protein bar and a magazine," Weiss replied, having turned away from Ruby to examine the tomatoes.

"Hey!" Ruby retorted, pausing for a brief moment. "I mean, you're right, but still!" Weiss didn't deign to reply, selecting an onion next and placing it within a small bag. Tying it off, she didn't flinch when Ruby dashed off again, petals fluttering through the store as Weiss casually pushed the cart further along.

"Weisssssss!" came Ruby's voice as she returned. Weiss took a deep, bracing breath.

"Yes, Ruby?" Weiss turned to respond to Ruby, rolling her eyes as she took in the sight before her. Ruby had a pair of melons in her hands, holding them in front of her chest. Ruby winked at her wife.

"What do you think? It's like if I traded chests with Yang!"

"I think your indecency will get us banned from the store. And thank god you don't have a chest like hers, I like not being suffocated," Weiss replied as she turned away once more, pushing the cart further down the aisle.

Ruby gasped in false outrage. "You don't like my sister's boobs? I'ma telling!"

"You say a word and I will throw out all of your ice cream. If she hears you say that, she'll never leave me alone!" Weiss growled, refusing to look over at Ruby, knowing her wife would be pouting.

"I never get to have any fun," Ruby groused, crossing her arms over her chest. Weiss had her back turned and missed the sudden mischievous grin crossing Ruby's face, the younger woman dashing off once more.

Weiss wondered how long she'd have to wait before Ruby came back with either something else ludicrous to buy or some terrible joke she probably learned from her sister. Her pondering was not long for this world, as the telltale whoosh of wind heralded Ruby's return. This time, the younger woman carefully set a single container of chocolate covered strawberries in the cart, along with one can of whipped cream.

Weiss arched an eyebrow. "That...is surprisingly reasonable for you. What are you planning?"

Ruby's smile spread slowly across her face. "I just thought you and I could enjoy a lovely treat together. Tonight. When we're alone. That's all."

Weiss gulped, clearly understanding Ruby's not so subtle innuendo. She took a deep breath and looked away with great effort, her cheeks stained pink as the blood rushed to her face. "I-I told you already, you can't convince me to let you buy a ton of junk food by being...that!"

"Being what?" Ruby asked innocently, sidling up next to Weiss and placing one hand softly on her back. To an outside observer, it just looked like a loving couple, but what other's couldn't see was the effect of Ruby's side pressing up against her arm, specifically Ruby's chest.

"Y-You stop this this instant, Ruby Rose! We're in public!" Weiss hissed, eyes darting back and forth at the other oblivious shoppers.

Ruby tilted her head down, placing a gentle kiss on Weiss' cheek. As she began to back off, she made sure to travel past Weiss' ear. She whispered softly, hot air blowing against Weiss' neck, "I have no idea what you are talking about, Weiss. I just want a nice little snack. Is that too much to ask?"

Weiss tried to pull away from Ruby's warm body, but the taller woman had her arm wrapped tightly about her waist, keeping her locked close. Weiss bit her lip. "Ruby...this isn't fair," she whined, keeping her voice soft as she slumped into Ruby's side.

"It's only not fair cause you always lose," Ruby replied, snickering slightly.

Weiss shook her head to clear it. "You, you shut up. I am a dignified, proper Schnee, and-"

"You didn't look very dignified last night when I was spanking you," Ruby remarked.

"Ruby Rose!" Weiss thundered, her face beet red as she glared at her wife. Ruby smirked, glancing from side to side, cuing Weiss into the fact she had managed to draw the attention of the other dozen shoppers in the aisle they were in. With ever shrinking patience, Weiss took in a deep breath, trying to calm her raging heartbeat. Leaning in close to her wife, Weiss narrowed her eyes. "You stop that this minute! We're in public!"

Ruby leaned in closer, eyes sparkling with mischief as she smiled at Weiss. "I seem to recall a certain drunken heiress admitting she had a certain kink about public seeeeeexxxx," Ruby whispered, drawing out the final word.

Weiss stood stock still, shaking in anger, before she suddenly seemed to calm. Ruby blinked, a bit concerned as Weiss' expression morphed from scandalized to perfectly calm. Ruby leaned back as a smirk crossed Weiss' face. Weiss glanced over at Ruby and spoke in a soft croon. "Is that an offer?"

"Uh...what?"

"Are you offering?" Weiss asked.

Ruby blinked. "Offering…?"

"Public sex, of course," Weiss said offhandedly, as if she were selecting produce. As Ruby stood stock still, Weiss did exactly that, carefully examining an onion.

Ruby managed to spurt out a "Huh?" in response.

Weiss turned back, with that same half-smile on her face, and gently closed Ruby's gaping jaw with a single finger. "I mean, you did mention it, and now that you do, why...it sounds like a lovely idea. We could go do it right in front of the those giant glass windows at the front of the store, make sure everyone could see us."

Ruby gaped at her wife, her own cheeks flushing red. Weiss could practically see the gears turning in her head and let her smile grow wider. Placing the onion in the cart, she pressed her side up close to her wife, laying her head on her shoulder. Weiss began whispering, her lips a bare centimeter from her wife's ear. "Why, just picture it. I could be spread out over that table up front, all of those boxes tossed carelessly to the floor, you kneeling between my legs and me screaming your name to the heavens. Grocery stores are for making meals, are they not? Or I could have you up against the glass, your chest pressed up against the glass, my hand between your legs as everyone watches you come undone at my hands...wouldn't that be fun?" Weiss purred.

Ruby gulped. With a shaking voice, she managed to squeak out "Are...are you being serious, right now?"

Weiss released her wife, stepping back to the cart and pushing it along. She glanced back and winked saucily at her wife, her hips swaying in a way Ruby knew was for her benefit. "Too late. You'll never know now. Come now, let's finish the shopping."

Weiss waited for it, knowing any moment now...a gust of wind interrupted her, snatching the grocery list out of her hands. Weiss stopped the cart and simply kept a firm grip on it, waiting with a smile. The cart began to fill with objects seeming to appear in it, flower petals gently floating through the air around Weiss. She paid no heed to the gaping stares looking her way, as a red blur dashed back and forth throughout the store, filling the cart, until a slightly out of breath Ruby stopped by the cart. Her cheeks now red with exertion, Ruby gazed at Weiss, her silver eyes smoldering with intensity. Weiss arched an eyebrow. "You seem in a hurry."

"We're going home," Ruby demanded.

"And whatever will we do when we get home?" Weiss drawled, turning the cart around to head to the checkout counter.

"Everything you said earlier, everything from last night, and anything else I can think of," Ruby retorted, her own smirk crossing her face as she leveled a glance at her wife.

Weiss smirked in return, pushing the cart into the checkout lane. "I'm glad we could come to a compromise. Let's go home."