I do not own TVD or TO

jolene0330 - I don't know if this is what you had in mind, but that's the direction I went in, at least for that second message you sent me. The first one has inspired an AU where Kol and Elena are in an established relationship when he cheats on her.

Low music filtered through the speakers high on the wall. Locals filled every booth and table for the typical dinner rush. Teenagers surrounded the pool table with cue sticks.

It was an average Saturday night in Mystic Falls with teens killing time until the usual bonfire out at the falls.

"Finish your dinner, Elena," Caroline popped a fry into her mouth. "I plan on getting you very drunk tonight."

"Just make sure I drink lots of water," Elena rolled her eyes and polished off her burger. Slapping Caroline's fingers she plucked up a fry and chewed. The last thing she wanted was a hangover, and knowing the way Caroline would undoubtedly be handing her drinks it was something she was destined to get.

"Why do I have to get drunk?" She finished the last of her water and proceeded to pick at the remainder of her fries.

"Because you won't let me get you a rebound," Caroline shrugged. She pouted when Elena slapped her fingers.

"If you wanted fries you should have ordered some," Elena smirked. She turned the plate around a second later though so Caroline could pick away at her food.

She was starting to think a rebound would be easier on her head, too much alcohol and she was liable to start dancing around the bonfire. Her best friend might be a vampire, but Elena was fairly certain she was going to take a tumble into the flames.

She had called it. The thought brought a brilliant smile to her lips. Her inhibitions had been flown to the wind with the first sip of her second cup of beer.

Elena paused in her twirling. She had set her red cup down somewhere and couldn't remember where. Her brow furrowed as she thought back on the events of the night; she'd been drinking somewhere near the bridge.

Had her tolerance been a little higher she might have thought twice about stumbling away from the warmth of the fire and Caroline who she thought might have gone to refresh her drink. She made it three steps into the dark when strong hands closed around her upper arms and pulled her behind a tree.

She blinked to focus her gaze and snorted.

"What are you doing here?" She crossed her arms and glared. "Did you run out of bourbon?"

"I heard you were planning on getting drunk," he smirked, "and let's face it you've got a ridiculously low tolerance."

"If I want to get drunk that's my business," she pushed away from the tree and moved around him. She gasped when the rough bark pressed into her back. "Let me go."

He placed his hands on either side of her head to box her in and heard her heart stutter.

"If I let you go you're just going to do something stupid."

Her blood boiled with indignation and she blamed the alcohol for her outraged outburst.

"If I want to do something stupid then I'm gonna do something stupid," she shoved at his chest. "That's my decision to make not yours."

"You make stupid decisions that almost always put your life in danger," he caught her wrists, "or are you forgetting when you decided to trust Elijah and take the elixir."

Elena struggled to break his grip on her arms and hissed.

"Are you forgetting how you took that choice away?"

The more time she spent in his presence the angrier she got and the clearer her head felt. Somewhere behind the music she thought she heard her name.

"Let go of me!"

She glared when he held firm and shook his head.

"I'm taking you home."

She fought against his grip and yelped when it tightened.

"I do I believe I heard her say 'let go'."

Elena winced as her wrists were held tight enough to form finger shaped bruises.

"What are you doing here?" Damon sneered.

"Out for a midnight stroll," he sauntered towards them. "I was passing by when I heard the snapping voice of a damsel in distress."

"I can handle this," Elena snapped.

"As you wish, darling." He crossed his arms and leaned against a nearby tree. He smirked at her confused expression. "I'm not interfering; I'd just love to see you put him in his place."

Damon glared and looked ready to hoist Elena over his shoulder and carry her off kicking and screaming. He turned back to the struggling brunette and nearly shrunk away from the heat of her glare, but instead played off his unease and tightened his hold on her wrist.

"Although," Kol held up his finger and pointed to Damon, "I'll offer a bit of friendly advice: if you value your arms you'll unhand her."

"I thought you were staying out of this," Damon snapped.

"Oh I am," he chuckled darkly, "but this is hardly a fair fight."

"Shut up, Kol," Elena grumbled, "I don't need your help. And Damon let go of me. I'm not going anywhere with you ever."

"Don't be ridiculous," Damon stepped back and pulled her along.

"Sounds like she's being perfectly clear to me," Kol drawled.

Elena glared at the Original and tried again to tug her arms free. Her wrists were starting to ache from the effort, and she had a sinking suspicion she wouldn't be able to move them in the morning. She knew what she had to do when her heels started dragging through the mud, but she was reluctant.

With an exasperated sigh she turned her eyes to Kol. She pressed her lips together and tugged one more time in the hope that she could do it herself.

"Alright, alright," she stopped struggling, "I admit it: I need help."

"I've thought that for years," Damon rolled his eyes.

"I wasn't talking to you," Elena scoffed. "Are you going to make me beg?"

She saw his eyes sparkle in the dark and felt a rush of heat under her skin. Her breath caught as he looked her over slowly with a smirk.

"Not for this."

He pushed off from the tree and moved in a blur.

Elena startled when she heard a loud crack and Damon fell in a lump at her feet.

"Was that necessary?" She cocked an eyebrow.

"No," Kol shrugged, "but you've got to admit," he looked down, "it was satisfying."

Part of her, the part that cared about people and hurting them, didn't want to admit it. The other part, the part that was indignant over her stifled voice, enjoyed the sight of Damon unconscious at her feet. It wasn't like he was actually dead.

"What are you really doing out here?" She tipped her head back to meet his eyes. She hadn't realized how tall he was.

"Believe it or not darling," he searched her gaze, "I was just out for a stroll."

He stashed Damon behind a tree where he wouldn't be spotted and heard her disbelieving snort.

"It's true," he chuckled. "Sometimes I just need to get away from Nik."

"Now that I believe," Elena nodded.

"What are you doing out here?" He stepped up beside her and tilted his head.

"Just…" she shook her head and sighed, "… needed to get blow off some steam. Caroline was rather set on taking me out clubbing for a rebound, and when I said no she insisted on the bonfire."

A line appeared between Kol's brows.

"Forgive me darling, I've spent the last century in a box," he frowned, "what do you mean by rebound?" He tested the word on his tongue.

"Sex," Elena shrugged. "It's what you do after breakup."

"Am I to take it you've finally kicked the Salvatores to the curb?" He smirked.

"Yup," Elena clicked her tongue.

"And you said no to the rebound?" He cocked an eyebrow. "How come?"

"I don't trust my drunken judgement," she pursed her lips and looked up at him. "Why am I telling you this?"

"I think you might be a little drunk," he heard her heart skip when he leaned closer with a wink.

"Elena?" Caroline rounded the corner and froze. "What are you doing?"

"Getting some air," Elena giggled.

"With an Original?" Caroline's eyes flickered to Kol.

Elena shrugged one shoulder and slid her hands into her back pockets.

"I didn't feel like being around anybody I actually liked."

"Oi," he covered his heart and gasped. "I take great offence to that."

"Well…" Elena glanced up at him through her lashes, "… I don't know you well enough to like you, or dislike you."

"Maybe we should change that," Kol smirked and offered her his arm. "Join me for a drink, darling?"

Elena considered for a moment before taking his arm. Her skin tingled when he closed his hand over hers.

Kol paused when Caroline stepped in their path.

"How drunk are you?" She gave Kol a suspicious look.

"Just one glass," Elena shrugged.

"Do relax Miss Forbes," Kol met her stare, "I've already been warned to be on my best behaviour where Elena is concerned."

"Dagger threats?" Elena guessed.

Caroline saw the shadow pass behind Kol's eyes and knew her friend had hit a nerve. She didn't think she needed to add to whatever Klaus had presented him with but she did anyway.

"If you hurt her I'll kill you."

Kol was going to laugh at the empty threat when he saw the fire in Caroline's green eyes and an involuntary shudder raced down his spine. He had the strangest sense she'd find a way to do it; she might even enlist Klaus to help her.

"Understood."

Elena's brows furrowed when a bottle of clear liquid was placed in her hand. She squinted at the label and raised her eyes to Kol.

"This isn't how you get me drunk," she sang. Waving he bottle caused a splash of liquid to hit his jacket. "Sorry," she giggled.

"A little water won't kill me," Kol steadied her hand. "Drink up, love."

Elena sighed and downed the bottle of water. The more she drank the clearer her head felt. She lowered the empty bottle and ran her tongue along her teeth and gave him a sideways glance.

"I get the feeling there's a reason I feel stone cold sober."

Kol snagged the bottle from her hand and tossed it in the recycling bin with a chuckle.

"Nothing to worry about, darling. It's just a little instant sobriety."

Elena nibbled on her bottom lip. She braced her healed wrists on the top of the fence and jumped to sit on the rail. She glanced over her shoulder towards the rushing waterfall for which the town had gotten its name.

"If I were to fall headfirst off the top of the falls…"

"I'd catch you before you had a chance to get wet," Kol pressed his hand to the top of the fence. He slid between her parted thighs to make room for the crowd of football players rushing to the cooler full of drinks. "Nik would have me rotting in a box if I let you die."

"But would I die?" Elena's breath hitched.

"I just told you I'd catch you," Kol placed his left hand on the fence an inch from her thigh.

"Assuming you didn't," Elena shivered. Aside from Damon at the tree this was the first time in two months that someone had stood so close.

"You'd wake in transition," his eyes flickered to her parted lips, "and Nik would stick me in a box." He could feel the heat radiating from her skin.

"You say that like you expect me to care," Elena tilted her head. Her heart thumped as he took an impossible step closer and moved his right hand to her knee.

"Don't you?" He ran his knuckles up her outer thigh and back down while staring into her warm eyes; they darkened with each stroke of his fingers. "I was given to understand you care about everyone."

"I'm told that's what gets me into trouble," she licked her lips.

He tilted his head down so his lips hovered over the shell of her ear. He could practically hear the longing whispering down her spine.

"There's a very simple solution," his breath fanned over the column of her throat.

"Oh?" Elena shuddered as his nose grazed her ear. "What would that be?"

Kol's hand slid around her back and held her steady. The breathy tone of her voice did not go unnoticed.

"Stop caring."

"I've never done that before," Elena inhaled slowly and closed her eyes. His fingers dug into her hip in a delicious way. "I wouldn't have the faintest idea how to go about that."

'I might be able to help."

It was a little disorienting being moved at vampire speed. She wondered idly if vampires found it that way, but her tongue was too occupied to form words.

If his kissing was anything to go by then Elena knew she was in for an intense night. Her skin grew ridiculously warm beneath his wandering fingers.

His tongue was busy doing sinful things, each swipe along the roof of her mouth spread fire down her body. She gasped for breath when he finally broke away to tear her top over her head.

Never one to be outdone, Elena grasped the hem of his navy Henley and pulled up so it pooled on the floor. The impulse to run her fingers over his torso was too great to resist. She planted her hands on his chest and shoved him back onto a leather couch.

Kol blinked in surprise and caught her hips before she could straddle him.

Elena's breath caught in her throat when he sucked a love bite along her ribs. He pulled the skin taut with his teeth and soothed the area with his tongue. He squeezed her behind through her jeans and made his way down her torso.

Elena closed her eyes and moaned as his tongue dipped into her belly button. She hadn't realized her jeans were being unfastened until her back hit the smooth leather. Her eyes fluttered open in time to see the denim torn from her legs and her flats knocked from her feet.

She hadn't been sure what possessed her that morning to put on the midnight blue lace panties and matching bra, but she was glad she did when she saw the way his eyes darkened.

She propped herself up and let her eyes roam down his body. Turned on the cusp of twenty in a time when life was much harder meant he was physically fit. She pushed him and straddled him.

Her eyes flickered over his chest and abdomen in the dim light of the bedroom. His muscles clenched under her wandering fingers and she was treated to the sight of his well-defined abdominal muscles.

She smirked and glanced down at the hard ridge in his pants.

"A little eager?"

"I'm not the only one," he grasped the back of her neck. He nipped at her fluttering pulse and inhaled deeply. "I can smell you darling."

Elena had barely blinked when she felt a soft mattress under her back and large hands separating her thighs.

"Does that ever make you dizzy?" She moaned as his fingers grasped the sides of her panties.

"You get used to it," he bit her hip with blunt teeth. With a smirk he tore the scrap of lace into two pieces.

"Hey," she muttered, "I liked this set."

"I'll replace it," Kol swore.

Elena was about to protest when she felt his tongue. Her hands fisted the comforter as he began to lick long strips between her folds which he alternated with quick flicks against her clit. Her hips began to move of their own volition as her thighs started to tremble on either side of his head.

She could practically taste the bliss. She knew it was close, and that was why she groaned when he stopped suddenly.

She opened her eyes to find him watching her with the hungriest expression she had ever seen. She arched her back for his hand and watched as he tossed her bra into a far corner.

Elena shifted onto her knees and unfastened his belt.

"And just what do you think you're doing?" He caught her fingers when the buckle was undone.

"I'm not going to be the only naked person in this room," she blinked when she found herself on her back with her arms held over her head. She tugged experimentally and felt the leather belt shift on her wrists. "Really?"

"Don't blame me," he cocked an eyebrow and smirked, "you're the one who wanted the belt."

She had never thought long on the concept of being tied naked to a man's bed, but the reality of the situation had her stomach trembling in anticipation of what was to come; hopefully it would be her.

"I suppose I did," her eyes roamed down his body. He had moved to stand beside the bed. "Now take off the rest of your clothes and get over here."

"You're rather demanding for a woman in your position," he smirked.

Elena just rolled her eyes and drew in a ragged breath causing her breasts to bounce slightly. She swallowed her squeal when he was suddenly on top of her and his cock was brushing her folds.

"Have you ever considered slowing down?" She cocked an eyebrow.

"I can do that."

Elena moaned and tossed her head back as he slid into her at an agonizingly slow pace.

"That's not what I meant," she arched her back and moaned.

"No?" He smirked and started moving slowly.

"You're infuriating," she gritted her teeth. Tightening her muscles she smirked when he groaned. "Come on, Kol. Please?"

"Please what, love?" He trailed his lips down her neck and teased her nipple between his thumb and forefinger.

"Are you really going to make me say it?" She whined. Her skin felt like it was on fire under his light touch.

"No, darling," he nibbled on her throat, "I'm going to make you beg for it. Tell me what you want."

He increased the pace of his hips just enough to hold her on the edge he knew she had already been near.

"I…" Elena bit her lip and tried to shimmy her hips in the search for more friction.

"None of that now," he growled. Sitting back on his knees he held her hips still and pushed forward. He wasn't sure how long he'd be able to hold back; his control was starting to slip. The longer he was inside of her the more he wanted to drill into her at a relentless pace until she came apart at the seams and all she knew was the pleasure he gave her.

He pretended not to hear her whispered plea and leaned forwards with a wicked smirk.

"I didn't quite catch that."

Elena wrapped her legs around his waist and dug her heels into his back.

"I said 'fuck me harder'," she stared into his sparkling eyes, "and you heard me perfectly. Just like I'm certain everyone else in this house can now hear me."

"I wouldn't worry about that," he chuckled, "Nik had a witch spell the rooms so you can't hear as long as the doors are closed."

"I really don't want to talk about Klaus right now," Elena groaned. "Are you going to fuck me harder or not?"

"I didn't hear the magic word," he teased.

Elena rolled her eyes and put on the most serious expression she could muster while the urgent need to move battled in her body.

"Kol," she lifted her head as much as she could, "will you please fuck me? Fuck me until I forget my own name… please?"

"As you wish, darling."

His fingers were digging deliciously into her hips as the sun crested the horizon and made her skin glow. He set a steady pace and guided her when she began to stutter.

Elena's mouth popped open as a ripple of pleasure rolled down her spine. She could do nothing but moan when he flipped her over and hooked her leg over his shoulder.

Her vision faded to white as his teeth found their home in the puncture marks already on her neck.

When his arm was nestled around her waist and her ear was pressed to his thumping heart she finally heard the question.

"I'm assuming based on the number of times I've asked that the answer it phenomenal, but," he tipped her chin up and met her eyes, "how did I do?"

Elena tilted her head and frowned. Her body was blissfully numb after their long night and her mind was a little fuzzy. He had allowed her a few brief hours of sleep before rousing her again for another round; she thought it might have been their sixth, but she couldn't be sure.

He read the confusion in her gaze and smirked.

"With your name," he traced runes on her back, "you asked me to fuck you until you forgot your own name."

"Oh," Elena blinked. She tilted her head and squinted. "It starts with an… 'E'…"

"Clearly I haven't done my job," he rolled her onto her back; "you still remember that first initial." He hooked her thigh over his hip. "I'm very dedicated, you know, and I don't leave any task unfinished."

Elena slipped out of bed around noon and dressed quietly so she wouldn't wake the sleeping Original. Part of the arrangement that had landed her in his bed had been that the moment her feet hit the floor the entire, admittedly glorious, ordeal never happened.

It would have been a lot harder to walk out the door if his eyes were open.

With her shoes in hand she carefully opened the door and bit her lip in concentration as she pulled it shut. She breathed a sigh of relief when there was no click and turned towards the stairs.

She bent over at the bottom and slipped the flats onto her feet. The sound of a clearing throat made her jump; pressing the heel of her palm over her pounding heart she met his surprised eyes.

"Isn't it a little early for scotch?" Her eyes dropped to his hand.

"Isn't it a little late for the walk of shame?" He countered.

A hot flush stained her cheeks. She wiped her hands on her jeans and bit her lip.

"Niklaus," a smooth voice echoed around the corner, "who are you talking to… Elena?"

"Elijah," she cleared her throat. She pointed to the left and a large door. "That the way out?"

"It's that one actually," he pointed to the double doors behind her.

"Thanks."

Elijah blinked as she made a hasty exit, and heard the unmistakable sound of a human heart beating on the front steps.

"You know," Klaus sipped his drink, "I always figured if she was going to be sneaking out of the mansion she would be coming from your bed."

Elijah rolled his eyes and flashed outside.

"Would I be correct in assuming you did not drive here?"

Elena jumped. She laughed nervously and nodded.

"Guess I forgot that fact."

"Right," he extracted a set of keys and waved her towards his BMW. "I'll drive you home."

Steam coated the bathroom mirror so all she could see was the vaguest outline of her body. She wrapped her hair in a towel and wiped down the mirror so she could inspect the dark circles under her eyes.

Turning this way and that she examined her reflection. She had been absurdly tired for the last few days and it didn't matter how much sleep she tried to get. The fatigue was starting to show.

The combination of her headache, pale skin, and fatigue put her in a foul mood.

She finished drying off and moved into her room to get dressed, but before she could even reach into her dresser there was a knock on the door.

"What is it, Jer?" She made sure her robe was firmly closed and opened the door.

"Klaus is here," Jeremy leaned in the door; "also," he pulled a small box from behind his back, "this was in the mail for you."

She sighed and took the package. Telling her brother to inform Klaus she would be down in a minute she closed the door and flipped open the lid of the box.

Inside was an envelope with silver decorations around the edge. She pulled out the card and blinked in surprise.

You left before I could find out the correct size, so I was forced to guess. ~ K.

She shook with a silent laugh when she removed the tissue paper and found a set of lingerie in midnight blue. It was quite similar to the set Kol had torn three weeks before. She was mildly impressed to find they were the correct size.

She set the box aside and pulled on her comfiest sports bra and yoga pants. Completing the cozy look with an oversized sweater she pulled on her sneakers and left the room.

She was pulling her hair into a high ponytail when she stepped out onto the porch where Klaus was waiting for her.

"Let's get this over with," she headed down the steps and approached his car.

"You could be a little more enthusiastic love," he started up the Jeep.

"You're taking me to the clinic to get your monthly blood donation," she deadpanned, "why would I be happy about that."

He backed out of the driveway with a low growl.

"You didn't seem to have an issue giving your blood to Kol," he watched her from the corner of his eye, "or Elijah for that matter."

If she'd been taking a drink of water it would have sprayed from her mouth and coated his dash. Her heart fluttered in her chest as she turned to look at him with wide eyes.

"How did you know about that?"

Elijah had shown up on her doorstep a few days after her rather eventful night with the bracelet she had somehow dropped in his car. Being polite, she had invited him inside for a cup of coffee; one thing led to another and he wound up spending the night… in her bed.

"You mean aside from the fact that you've pointedly ignored both of my brothers for the last three weeks?" He cocked an eyebrow and turned towards the hospital. "Elijah came home a few days after your little walk of shame smelling just like you; the same way Kol smelled just like you."

He pulled into a parking spot and twisted in his seat to grasp her chin. Tilting her head up, he pulled the collar of her sweater aside and nodded. When she had left the mansion there had been a bite on the right side of her neck, and now there was one on the left as well; both were fading away so that only the faintest impressions were left.

"I don't suppose Kol knows about this too?" Elena pulled her chin from his hand and pushed open her door.

"Elijah showered before Kol came home, so I doubt it," he shrugged. "But tell me sweetheart, why is it okay for my brother to take your blood and not me?"

"Because," she smiled sweetly over her shoulder, "unlike you they don't have nefarious plans for it."

She gasped when he grabbed her arm and spun her into the wall outside the door. Her breath caught when she looked up into his eyes.

"What if I didn't have nefarious plans?" He cocked an eyebrow and tilted his head.

Elena settled her hand over his heart and straightened her spine. The smile on her lips was tight as she tilted her head.

"Not if you were the last person on earth."

She drummed her fingers over the arms of the chair and waited impatiently for the doctor. Klaus was actually capable of taking a bag of blood on his own, but Elena liked to donate a bag as well. Part of the deal she had agreed to was for him to take her to the hospital clinic in a neighboring town every two months; he got one bag, while the other went to the bank.

She'd never felt so anxious waiting though. Usually she was in and out but the hospital was so busy not even Klaus could compel their way through.

They'd been there nearly an hour when she was finally called into the room.

"You know you don't have to be in here with me," she murmured as the door opened. A woman approached with a clipboard.

"Less people to compel in here," Klaus shrugged.

Elena sighed and buckled in for the usual round of questions.

"Are you feeling well today?"

"… A little tired."

"Do you have a flu, sore throat, fever, or infection?"

"No."

The list went on and on until Dr. Conner reached the end and turned the paper around for her to sign off consent. Elena was watching the blood slowly fill the bag and battling a sudden urge to be sick when Klaus' smooth voice broke through her thoughts.

His face swam in her vision when she turned to face him.

"Are you alright, sweetheart?" He caught her swaying body and lowered her to lie down. "You're looking abnormally pale."

The thought that she might be sick had him bending closer and smelling her. His nose wrinkled at the odd scent; there was something unusual under her blood.

"I'm fine," she blinked slowly as her voice slurred. Struggling to keep her eyes open she swallowed. "When did you get four eyes?"

"Elena?"

Dr. Conner heard the surprise in his voice and rushed over. She pulled the needle from Elena's arm when she saw the brunette had fainted and started firing rapid questions at Klaus.

When Elena opened her eyes it was to find Klaus looking at her with bemusement in his features. She pushed herself up to sit and crossed her legs on the bed.

She could see some sort of smart remark in the corner of his lips. She had never taken him for the type to mock a girl for fainting but the amusement in his eyes was about to prove her wrong.

"Well…"

"Nothing," he held out his hands, "I just never took you for promiscuous."

"Excuse me?" Flames of anger shot through her.

"Let me guess," he cleared his throat. "Was it the quarterback?"

"What the hell are you on about?" Elena frowned. This was an odd way of mocking her.

"The human you obviously slept with," he waved in her direction. "According to the doctor it happened about three weeks ago. So was it the quarterback or are you sleeping your way through the to

He caught the plastic cup she tossed at his head. Eyeing the plastic he lowered it and met her eyes.

"I would normally retaliate," he hummed, "but even I have some limits."

"You?" Elena scoffed. She felt slightly emboldened by his admission and snagged another item from the side table. He flashed in front of her and grabbed it before she could throw.

"Don't try my patience, sweetheart," he squeezed her wrist. "I'll only hold back so much."

Elena gasped. She cradled her wrist to her chest and glared at him when he let go.

"So what's gotten you so riled up?"

Elena gave him an incredulous look.

"Are you serious? You essentially just called me a whore."

"Well you slept with someone human," Klaus crossed his arms, "I'm sure Elijah and Kol will be thrilled with the news."

"I didn't sleep with anyone else," she fought down the urge to snap. "The last human I slept with was Matt…"

"I thought it'd be the quarterback…" his brows furrowed when she cut him off.

"Before my parents died," she gingerly rolled her wrist.

Klaus frowned. Her heart was steady, and he could smell the anger in her blood along with that extra smell that now made much more sense.

"You sure you didn't black out?" He tilted his head. "Did somebody drug you at a wild party? Tell me who and I'll kill them." If someone had caused potential harm to his doppelganger he would end them in the most painful manner he could think of.

"What… no!" She shook her head. "Not that this is any of your business…"

"It absolutely is my business," he cut her off. "We had an agreement."

"Who I sleep with is my business Klaus," Elena snapped, "and since breaking up with Stefan three months ago I've only been with Kol and Elijah." She held up her hand before he could interrupt. "Don't say it…"

"Just tell me what possessed you to sleep with both of my brothers in the span of a week." Klaus rocked back on his heels. He was genuinely curious.

"It… it just sort of… sort of happened," she shrugged. It's not like she'd set out to do it.

"Lovely," he rolled his eyes. Klaus could understand her sleeping with Elijah, the two had a strange sort of chemistry and Elijah possessed a weakness for her face. Kol however had come out of left field; he'd spent marginally little time with Elena and never once shown an interest in her predecessors. There was still one pesky little problem though. "Who was the human?"

"I didn't sleep with a human!" Elena felt her indignation rising.

"You would have had to."

"Why?"

"Because you're pregnant?"

Elena froze for a moment. The way he said it made it sound like she should have already figured it out; the way Damon said things that should have been obvious.

"Very funny," she forced a laugh, "you know April isn't for another seven months right?"

"I'm not joking Elena," he grabbed the chart from the end of the bed and flipped it open. "The doctor took what little blood you had given when you fainted, and is coming back to do an ultrasound."

"I'm not pregnant!" She shook her head.

He sighed and flashed forward.

Elena gasped. He had lifted her shirt and pressed his ear to her naval. The hard stubble along his jaw set a fire under her skin. His hair was soft under her hand that moved to push him away.

"Klaus," her voice held a note of warning.

"What the bloody hell is going on in here?"

Elena looked up to find Kol standing in the door of the room with Elijah right behind him. She thought she saw something like hurt flicker in their eyes, but as soon as she saw it the emotion was gone.

"What are you two doing?"

"Nik said you fainted," Kol cleared his throat.

"Are you alright?" Elijah stepped inside.

"Will you all shut up?" Klaus hissed. He nodded when the room quieted, caught Elena's wrist to stop her from pushing him off her stomach. He smirked when he found what he was looking for: a set of fluttering hearts deep in her body. He straightened up and poked her stomach. "Right there," he nodded, "two hearts."

"First I'm pregnant and now I'm having twins. How far are you going to take this bit?" Elena leaned back against the pillows. She was still feeling a little queasy.

"You're pregnant?" Kol's brows shot up.

"About three weeks ago," Klaus shrugged.

Elena had her eyes closed so she didn't see the hurt that lingered in Elijah and Kol's gaze. It took them a moment longer to hide it, but it was masked behind indifference by the time her lashes fluttered open.

They had both stopped to listen to the fluttering hearts in her womb, so it came as a real surprise when hers remained completely steady.

"No, I am not pregnant. There's no way I could be pregnant."

"I can't talk to her," Klaus threw up his hands.

"You shouldn't talk to women ever," Elena scoffed.

"Elena…" Elijah cleared his throat. "Is there any…"

"No," she cut him off.

"Then why is he telling the truth about the heart beats?" Kol braced his hands on the end of the bed.

Elena's eyes flickered from one Original to the other. She couldn't find any deceit in their eyes, but they'd had a thousand years to perfect their poker faces.

"Is this some weird family bonding thing," she swung her legs over the side of the bed, "pulling pranks on the doppelganger? Because it's not funny, and I really didn't appreciate the insinuations."

"Elena, where are you going?" Elijah watched her stand up.

"Home."

"I drove you," Klaus reminded her.

"I'll walk," she gritted her teeth. Unfortunately her hasty exit was cut short by her shaking legs. She made it to the door before the spinning room had her stumbling over her feet.

Kol, being the closest, caught her under the arms.

"Maybe I should lie back down," she clung to him and allowed him to move her back to the bed.

"That might be a good idea," Klaus nodded. "A woman in your condition should take it easy."

Elena didn't think about it. She snatched the pillow from the bed and started beating Klaus over the head.

"I," she punctuated each word with a new hit, "am not pregnant!"

"Would one of you kindly get the doctor?" Klaus held up his arm to block the pillow from his face. "It's clear she's not going to believe any of us."

He grabbed the pillow when Kol left the room. Swinging his arm back he sighed when the pillow was snatched again.

"That's enough," Elijah tossed the pillow aside.

"It's okay when she hits me."

Elena pressed her lips together. Klaus was flashing his brother the look of a petulant child; she saw Elijah roll his eyes.

"Niklaus, Elena could stab you and I wouldn't stop her," he turned his attention back to the door.

Elena smiled at Dr. Conner and motioned to the three Originals in the room.

"Doctor," she swallowed, "please tell these three they're crazy."

"Why would I do that?" She picked up the chart.

"Because I'm not pregnant," Elena crossed her arms. Somewhere in the back of her mind she realized she was now the petulant child; her pout matched Klaus' perfectly.

"Sorry, hon," Dr. Conner flashed a sympathetic smile, "you've got elevated hCG levels. You're about three weeks pregnant; like I told your husband here."

Klaus rubbed the back of his neck when three sets of eyes turned on him. He shrugged and breathed in a voice that only his brothers could hear.

"They wouldn't tell me anything."

"I can't be pregnant doctor," Elena smiled sweetly. She rubbed Klaus' arm sadly. "Because my dear husband is infertile," she could see him slowly turning red.

"Well for your sake," Dr. Conner stepped up beside the bed and flipped on a machine, "I hope that was misdiagnoses because the other option for elevated HCG is rather grim." She frowned when she reached into a drawer. "I'll be right back; it seems I'm out of gel."

Elena waited until Dr. Conner stepped out of the room to cross her arms and turn to Klaus. Her heartrate quickly elevated.

"Husband?"

"I swear this hospital is on vervain," he held up his hands, "they wouldn't tell me anything."

"You could have said you were her brother, cousin…"

"Really any family member," Kol cleared his throat.

"Yes well…" Klaus cleared his throat, "… I went with husband. Anyone have a problem with that?"

Elena raised her hand.

"You don't count," Klaus waved dismissively.

"You're an inconsiderate jackass and a crummy husband" Elena rolled her eyes, "I want a divorce."

"I'll get you a good lawyer," Elijah stepped back for Dr. Conner.

"Have I missed something?" Dr. Conner took her place beside the bed again.

"No, no," Klaus flashed a charming smile, "just a little spat with the misses." He picked up Elena's hand and patted it.

"Don't touch me," she pulled up her shirt.

"Looks like you might be sleeping on the couch for a while," Dr. Conner teased.

"More like the dog house," Kol scoffed. He smirked when the comment brought a real smile to Elena's lips, but quickly wiped it off.

They fell silent as Dr. Conner performed an examination. Elena was turning to flash a smug smile when the wand froze in place and the screen was turned around to face her.

"Looks like a misdiagnoses," she pointed. "This is good for you because the other option was cancer."

"Elena?" Elijah was the first to hear her heart stutter.

She stared at the screen in silence; her entire body frozen in place. She turned her head slowly from the screen and frowned. As if from underwater she heard her name, but she couldn't figure out what direction it was coming from; she thought she saw Elijah's lips moving though.

"I think it's safe to say this wasn't planned," Dr. Conner stood up. "Aside from being a little dehydrated and a mild case of anemia she's fine, and as soon as she snaps out of her daze she's free to go." She scribbled out a prescription and passed it Klaus. "This is for prenatal vitamins, folic acid, and an iron supplement; fill them and make sure she takes them, drinks lots of water and fruit juice and you should avoid any future fainting spells."

It was ten minutes later when Klaus returned with the prescriptions that he felt his frustration grow. His brothers were on either side of Elena trying to snap her out the state she was still in.

"Still?" He sighed.

"She's right," Kol sighed, "you are a crummy husband."

Elijah rolled his eyes and reached around to unhook Elena's locket. Silently willing her to forgive him he tipped up her chin and stared into her eyes.

"Elena, snap out of it and speak to us."

Her sudden anger shocked them all.

"What did you do to me?"

I love hearing what y'all think. I was attempting for something humourous and dramatic at the same time, and I'm thinking it'll be 5-10 chapters.