Conversation is a game of circles. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Greetings!

So, this was a labor of the last year when I got wholly and entirely addicted to NCIS:LA. As with most series that I begin long after they've debuted, I started in the middle. I think the first episodes I watched were somewhere in the end of season 5 into season 6. Almost immediately, I fell in ABSOLUTE love with Hetty. (Okay, who isn't in love with Hetty?) And it was her dynamic with Callen in particular that lit my heart on fire.

However, as I started the series from the beginning, I realized that certain truths which become canonical later were not yet established, as in the very first episode when Callen and Hetty talk about him returning to work and he tells her that he doesn't know what the G stands for – which she obviously knows from long exposure.

Therefore, I began this project as a series of the unseen interactions between Callen and Hetty, cleaning up some of the missteps in the early episodes and fitting pieces of canon in where they belong.

NOTE: THAT MEANS THERE ARE SPOILERS.

NOTE 2: The spoilers aren't that bad.

I didn't give away any information that Callen doesn't have at the start of the series (i.e. what the G stands for, some of Hetty's own history, etc.). However, this story will reference facts which are not in evidence in the series until much later, specifically regarding how long Callen and Hetty have known one another and some of the details of that (as in him knowing about her various houses, etc.). Basically, I wrote a tag to every single episode season 1-7 predicated on the relationship between Callen and Hetty as it stands in the later seasons.

Yes, that means I have 168 of these. They are fully canon-compliant as of the middle of season 10, focused on the relationship between Hetty and Callen. They will sometimes involve others, but the focus is narrow. They are of varying lengths, 500 words to a few thousand, always tightly connected to the specific episode referenced. Apparently they work well as a read-along for a rewatch.

Because there are so many, I will post 3 or 4 a week for the duration of 2019. Feel free to follow along and I very, very much hope you enjoy this labor of love that was the work of last year!

Season 1, Episode 1: Identity

It was a ritual, one that had been repeated countless times over the years, begun the very first day he had spent as Hetty's...whatever he was. Starting as a not-quite-adopted, not-quite-foster kid, then a student of tradecraft and the art of espionage, then a protege, and eventually an employee – for years, G Callen had lived in a constant flux, in and out of Hetty's orbit, drawn back like a comet pulled by cosmic gravity.

He might go away for weeks or months at a time on assignment, or just to stretch his legs out in the world. He might be summoned by the government, by a favor owed, or he might, as had happened this time, have chosen to keep his distance while recovering from injury so that he would lead no weakness back to anyone or anything that truly mattered.

Knowing perfectly well, of course, that Hetty would gladly be his shelter once more if he allowed it. That she would never see his injury and recovery as a burden, that she would give as selflessly to him now as she had in his youth.

But Hetty also knew when to let G make his own choices, when to respect his independence and his raw courage. So she let him go, and he let her let him go, and the cycle continued.

And every time he returned, they had a variation on the same conversation which had been their first.

("Now, you'll obviously need some better clothes. I believe those may have been purchased from a garbage bin off the boardwalk. I had no idea the welfare state was so fashion-ignorant.")

"Now, wardrobe for your undercover work. I know you grew up in the well-meaning but cold embrace of the welfare state, Mister Callen. But just because you were an orphan doesn't mean that you have to dress like Oliver Twist."

But what was said signified nothing compared to what was intended.

It was comfortable, and it was code. It meant everything it had those years ago, and now so much more.

Then: You have a home here. You are safe here. I will give you this and ask nothing in return.

Now: Are you truly ready to return to work? Will you be able to keep yourself and your team safe?

Yes, Hetty. I'm ready. I'm fine. Thank you for caring.

"Now, we need something modern, individual that speaks to the man within."

Then: I see that you have great potential, Mister Callen. I intend to help you find it.

Now: I see you. I know you. I am proud of what you have become.

"That's not for you to admire, it's for you to try on. Here and here. This or this?"

Then and Now: Are you ready to take this next step?

"Those."

I'm still me, Hetty. I'm ready. I'm okay.

"Fitted boot jean, medium weight, distressed denim. I think we need something more relaxed, Mr. Callen. "

Then: I understand that trust does not come easily to you. I hope to see that change.

Now: You have my trust. You are not alone anymore.

He laughed. I haven't forgotten, Hetty. I know you're here for me.

"Something amuses you?"

"Oh, it's just that in three years you've never called me G."

Then: I don't even have a name. Just a letter. I'm nothing. Why do you care?

Now: You pretend to be my boss, as if there were only three shared years between us. But you know me beyond the G. You know what I am chasing. And still you're here.

"It's not a name, it's a letter. Now, if you were to tell me what the G stands for... "

Then: I don't care what it stands for. I care what you will choose to stand for.

Now: I know you better than you know yourself. I will let you go, but you must come back.

"No one ever told me. "

Then: I don't know who I really am.

Now: I know who I am. Thank you for showing me.

And in that look exchanged they said everything that had no words at all.