Author's Note: A parody of a touching and effective scene in light of a... dubious twist in the prequels.

"Luke, what's wrong?"

"Leia, do you remember your mother? Your real mother?"

"Just a little bit. She died when I was very young."

"What do you remember?"

"Just images, really. Feelings."

"Tell me."

"She was very beautiful. Kind, but sad."

"And..." He took a deep breath. Asking all these questions was selfish, but his every human instinct cried out that, on the brink of near-certain destruction, he deserved a bit of selfishness... "How old were you when... How long did she live? Did she find... any happiness?"

"Oh, she died giving birth to me," Leia said blithely.

Luke blinked rapidly. "I beg your pardon?"

"I did say I was very young."

He felt a bit like he did that time during his misspent adolescence when he fell off his speeder and hit the ground head-first. Actually, it would explain a lot about his life if he'd never woken up from that concussion... "Wait, I - If she died in childbirth, how can you remember her?"

"I'm not sure. It must be because the Force is strong with our family."

His mouth hung open. Yoda would have lectured him on that - said it was an enticement to any passing insect. To be fair, on Dagobah, it would have been, but... "You - you know?"

"I know. Somehow, I've always known."

"You... you knew?"

"Well, of course," she said, raising her eyebrows. "If I can remember the looks, emotions, and nature of a woman who was dying while my brain wasn't yet developed enough for comprehension of complicated emotions, object permanence, or bowel control, I can remember her naming my twin brother 'Luke'."

Luke took several seconds to fully digest the implications. Despite his Jedi training, his unsophisticated farmboy upbringing made itself clear when the first words to force themselves out of his mouth were, "Wait - then, when you kissed me - you -"

"Brother mine," Leia said with a smile, "bored Alderaani rich girls develop all sorts of strange interests." She arched an eyebrow. "What? Is it really that surprising that, occasionally, one of those stereotypes nice Outer-Rim farmer boys like you have about us filthy Core-World elites turns out to be true?"

On second thought, he couldn't wait to go confront his father. Any conversation he could have with the Jedi-hero-turned-Sith-Lord would be far less uncomfortable than this.

Omake:

"And so, son, I met your mother when she was twelve going on eighteen and I was a rather youngish nine. I knew at once that she was the only woman for me and proceeded to obsess over her for the next ten years. We had a whirlwind romance - I think she was particularly charmed by my observations that sand is coarse and irritating and gets everywhere, she must have known I had the soul of a poet - until it tragically ended with her dying at my hands because she was under-appreciative of everything I'd done to prevent her dying. After that, I was a bit soured on women, so I took up a monastic existence of living full-time in a high-tech gimp suit and serving at the pleasure of a creepy older man who groomed me from childhood..."

Never mind. He was missing Leia already.