Note: I'm considering this a missing scene for episode 8x20 Backfire, the episode where Calleigh goes down after she and Ryan are caught in the fire and Eric rushes back from Tampa to be with her in the hospital. I like to think after the ordeal with his dad, they just kinda crashed headfirst into their relationship again. (Read The Last of Wasted Days if you haven't yet :P)
Eric made his way through the bustling trauma wing of the Miami Dade Hospital, thankful that Calleigh hopefully wouldn't be here for too much longer. He'd had to check in at the state attorney's office for a few hours and she'd been texting him extra frequently earlier, maybe because it was one of her only forms of communication right now. But she'd gone oddly quiet an hour or two ago and he hoped it was just because she was actually resting. Still, he was eager to see her and know for sure.
He quietly pushed the door to Room 522 open in case she was asleep, but instead he found her in one of the middle of an all-too-frequent nurse check-in. The guy was slipping a blood pressure cuff off her as Calleigh peeked past him, smiling the moment her eyes fell on Eric even earlier than she expected him back.
She mouthed "hi," and he swore there was a little something in her eyes he couldn't quite pinpoint as they clung to his.
"Looking good," the nurse assured as he checked the stats on the screen. Eric's eyes drew over it, paying special attention to her oxygen saturation, which had climbed up impressively high compared to earlier. And she didn't even have her supplemental oxygen anymore.
As her nurse excused himself, Eric's fingers found hers and he leaned down, pressing his lips to hers and then bumping her nose affectionately.
"Hey," he finally said back, drawing a smile from her even though she seemed to be in a bit of a daze. "You do look good."
She squeezed his fingers appreciatively, eyes emotionally following him as he reclaimed his seat beside her.
"They letting you bust out of here yet?" he asked, and there it was again: that strange flicker of something on her face that looked a lot like disbelief and worry.
"Not yet," she mouthed, holding his gaze as she bit her lip.
"Your vitals are up," he pointed out, thumb smoothing over hers encouragingly.
She nodded, optimistic for a moment as she took in the numbers.
"So what's the hold-up? Your oxygen is at 95%. Wasn't that what they released you at last time?"
Calleigh nodded, still a little stunned herself. And worried. Really, really worried. Because her body had gone through something very traumatic today and she'd had to be brought back, and apparently she wasn't the only one at stake here.
God, she wanted to be able to tell him that – to actually tell him with her own words rather than writing it out on a dumb piece of paper like she'd had to all day. She reached forward, taking a long, slow drag of water and letting it wet her throat, wincing slightly at the pain of swallowing. Once she got past that, she opened her mouth, having to try twice before she could even make a raspy, indistinguishable whisper come out.
"'Cause -" Her throat gave out and she had to stop, closing her eyes tightly. It wasn't painful to try to speak, just difficult, but the vibrations of her vocal cords sent pain radiating down and up her throat. Her eyes watered in frustration that he mistook as pain, and he took a step towards her, running his hand through her hair before he cupped her cheek.
"Quit trying to talk so much," he reminded her, lips curving upward at her stubbornness.
Calleigh just gave him this look, pleading with him to understand even though there was no way he possibly could. But he knew her well enough to understand her expression, concerned and frustrated and something else he couldn't quite pinpoint, so he pulled her against his chest for a reassuring hug. She gave in easily, letting her forehead fall against his warm, steady chest as his hand rubbed her arm reassuringly.
With his free hand, he grabbed her pen and paper and set it in her lap. Slowly easing away from her as she straightened up, he took the seat by her bedside again.
"What's going on?" he asked again, voice soft and now colored with a touch of worry. "Why aren't they discharging you?"
Calleigh bit her lip, staring down the pen and paper before she reluctantly picked it up. Curling one knee in, she propped the notepad against it as she wrote. When she flipped it towards him, he took the words in eagerly, brows immediately furrowing as they tried to make sense of them.
"Because they're worried about both of us…"
At first he thought she meant him, but that didn't make sense at all, and then his eyes drifted to her face, taking in the mix of hope, worry, and regret in her expectant eyes.
His eyes softened on her then and he leaned forward, realizing aloud, "You're pregnant…" A little smile tugged at his lips and his eyes sparkled as it reached them. It wasn't all that surprising, given the past few months...
She nodded disbelievingly, biting her lip again as her eyes watered and she pressed the pad back against her knee, writing quickly.
"I wouldn't have gone back in if I'd known."
Now he understood the conflict of emotions coursing through her and his brows immediately furrowed as he stood, cradling the back of her head as he took a seat next to her on the bed and pulled her into him again.
"Babe, you can't think like that," he told her softly, kissing the crown of her head. "You were just doing your job. I know we're all giving you crap for being a hero, but any good cop would've gone back in. He was someone's kid."
She nodded against him, laying her palm over his chest. Eric held her there, his cheek against her temple, a million thoughts racing through his mind.
"Is everything okay?" he asked cautiously, fingers trailing up and down her arm imploringly. He'd been right there when they'd had to use a defibrillator on her and inject her with epinephrine to bring her back, and he had no idea how much harm those could do to a developing baby.
Calleigh shrugged, eyes watering again as she touched his arm affectionately before she picked up her pen again.
"Not sure yet. Hormone levels are good. They're gonna do an ultrasound but it's early."
"I didn't miss it?" he asked, and she kind of melted at the adorably concerned expression on his face.
Calleigh simply shook her head, a sad smile on her face as she tugged at his shirt collar and guided his lips to hers. Even if she could speak right now, she wasn't quite sure she'd have the words for this moment. It felt like they were on the cusp of everything – of fully realizing how much they wanted this, of finding out whether this was really happening or if the day's events had been too much on her body…
"Wouldn't let that happen," she quickly scrawled against the paper.
He was still cradling her head, fingers moving through the soft blonde strands of her hair as they moved against her scalp, and he told her, "Whatever happens…I love you and the important thing is that you're okay."
She nodded half-heartedly, knowing both that he was right and also that she'd have a really hard time forgiving herself if anything happened to the new life inside of her that was half her, half him. The latter was written all over her face as she stared back at him, foreheads touching. He wondered if she even realized she'd draped her arm over her abdomen protectively; as his hand slid over her arm and his palm pressed against the back of her hand, fingers filling the spaces between hers, her lips tightened with emotion. She closed her eyes, attempting to process everything that had happened today and everything that was on the line, but her thoughts kept coming back to one thing: she wanted this. A lot.
Sighing, she summoned up the slightest whisper that didn't quite make her throat buzz, uttering "Eric…"
He pulled back at the sound, taking in the emotion in her eyes and feeling her fingers tightly curl between his against her stomach.
"I know," he assured, silently communicating with her eyes. "Me too." He pressed his lips to her forehead and sighed, remaining there as her breathing grew slower. "You should get some rest."
Calleigh nodded and shifted in bed, silently inviting him to lay with her as she made room. He happily obliged, finding enough space to lay down on his back while she curled in on her side against him, his arm tucking her against his side, her head resting on his chest. As she finally relaxed enough to let the day's events fully take their toll, she gave in to the exhaustion a little easier than she normally would have and Eric smiled. With a newfound reason to rest, she was all to willing to curl up against him and let her eyes flutter closed, eventually falling asleep beside him.
Eric's hand was soothingly trailing up and down her side, and with her safely asleep next to him he took a moment to try to process the news without a dark cloud of worry tempering his reaction. Although it was impossible to forget the cause for concern, he found his lips curving upward at the surprising but not altogether unexpected news. They hadn't exactly been careful lately…in fact, they'd kind of been the opposite of careful, instead throwing all caution to the wind and letting whatever happened happen.
It had started out innocently enough…
Calleigh laughed softly at the rather euphoric, intense wave of pleasure that had quite literally crashed over her. God, it had been too long – too long since she'd let him in, since he'd kissed and coddled and stroked until she trembled under his touch. Too long since she'd let herself get lost in a haze of caramel skin, soft sheets, and Eric. Accidentally shooting at him after he'd kept secrets from her suddenly paled in comparison.
He was on his side, holding her hip as she curled in against him, waiting for her to recover. Smirking at her, he pushed a curtain of blonde from her face as she sat up. She took him with her, beginning to start fires with her mouth against his skin as she pressed her lips against his shoulder, his collarbone, and into the crook of his neck. Her knees settled on either side of him, and he felt the familiar weight of her settle in his lap. His hands sunk into her lower back as one of her own trailed down his chest, taking a detour to his waist before she let her fingers trace the muscles deep in his abdomen, skimming over the V of his hip.
She was just about to wrap her fingers around the length of him when she paused, a little frustrated sigh escaping her lips right by his ear.
"I'm not on birth control anymore," she told him, feeling his fingers curl into her skin. "I didn't have a reason to be and it was giving me headaches. I'm sorry, I should've said something earlier, but I was…"
Eric grinned, pulling back enough that he could bump his nose against hers. "Preoccupied?"
Calleigh bit her lip as one of his hands skimmed to the front of her, dipping down and following the groove of her hip down to her thigh. "Mmm," was all she could say, nodding the affirmative. "Do you have anything?"
"Like a condom?" he asked, and her eyes darted to his. Now that he'd said it, she really didn't want him to wear one, but…it seemed like the appropriate thing to do.
"Uh huh, like in your wallet or something?"
"No," he uttered, only a tiny bit regretfully as she lost her battle against resisting him and her hand wrapped around the base of him. His chuckle of amusement turned into a groan and she knew she was in trouble when his hips pushed toward hers.
"Really?" she asked in surprise. Her fingers swirled over the length of him and she pressed her lips to his jaw.
He tugged her elbow, trying to draw her closer despite this new revelation, and when her eyes flickered to his the intensity in them caught her off guard. His deep brown eyes were usually pretty far gone at this point, all dark and desire-laden, but this time there was a little extra seriousness there.
"I haven't been with anyone but you in…a long time." He drew her hips closer and tilted her chin up, pressing soft, heated kisses to the base of her throat. "Solamente tu." Only you.
Well, crap. Calleigh bit her lip, oddly fine with carrying on as planned. But some well-conditioned semblance of responsibility entered her conscience and she sighed, almost in apology, as she reached behind him for her nightstand.
"I might have one." Fishing through the contents of the drawer, she finally came up with a short strip of two foil packages she also hadn't needed for…a very long time. Which, speaking of… She checked the date stamped on the back. "Anddd they're expired."
Eric chuckled, taking the packet from her hands and studying it. He was oddly amused that she had these, but he really didn't want to know why. He was more interested in the fact that her hands had returned to his shoulders despite their discovery, that her breasts were brushing against his chest as her lips found his. The wait was only increasing his need for her, and when she let her hips kiss his and gave a little thrust against him, he grunted in approval.
"Eric…" she began softly, drawing his eyes to hers.
"We've talked about having kids before." His desire was making him extra honest, and her eyes turned mischievous as they held his, silently questioning. He was right; just a few months ago, they'd been on a steady path of consecutive nights spent together, shared keys, and conversations about their future. But she'd put the brakes on when her suspicions over his involvement with his father became too great, putting them on an undefined hiatus, and now they were, well...this.
"I mean, I want them," he added, finger trailing up her side. "And you want them." He grinned at that, slipping his fingers through her long blonde hair as he pushed it back behind her shoulder. "And there's a limited amount of time we have to do that…"
Calleigh pursed her lips, failing at her attempt to hide the smile that ultimately crept across her lips. "What are you saying?"
"You'd be an incredible mom," he continued on not-so-directly, grinning at the thought. "And sexy." He pressed his lips to the swell of one of her breasts, groaning in anticipation and a hint of frustration. "Very sexy," he added, chuckling as he tipped his head up and rested his chin against her chest.
"I'm saying I'm okay with the consequences," he clarified more simply, watching her smile in response. "Are you?"
Calleigh bit her lip, eyes dancing between his. She had a much more complicated response to that question, but now was neither the time nor the place so she simply nodded, pushing her hips toward his until the tip of him bumped against her.
He closed his eyes for a moment in response, and when they fluttered open again they were so heavy and desire-laden she felt her stomach pitch.
"So." He swallowed hard, lifting up the little foil package and shifting against her until his head was nestled between her. "No expired condom?"
She reached up, easily knocking the package from his hand and replacing it with hers, weaving their fingers together.
"No expired condom," she assured, laughing softly as she used their joined hands as leverage to decidedly sink down onto him.
He sighed appreciatively, all laughter tossed aside as her hips began to rock against his.
And that had been that: the start of some unspoken agreement that they were just going to continue on however they wanted to. They'd easily fallen back into a whirlwind of nights spend together, his things steadily but quickly filling her home again, and shared weekend plans. She'd brought it up again once when they more level-headed, asking if she should go back on, and his eyes had playfully challenged hers as he turned the question back around on her: "do you want to?"
She'd pursed her lips and then rolled them before letting a knowing smile spread across her features.
/~/
Eric had been able to feel his heart pounding in his chest since the moment they'd entered the obstetrics wing. Every passing newborn or pregnant woman as they walked in made it all the more real, and then Calleigh's answer to one of the doctor's questions had tripped him up more than a little. She'd apparently started taking prenatal vitamins two months ago – "just in case" she'd written down, biting her lip as her eyes darted to his. His awed, amused expression gave him away as his eyes studied her, taking in the smile that crept across her features at his response to that revelation.
Maybe this had been a little more planned than either of them had been willing to admit…
As they set her up for the ultrasound, Calleigh distracted herself by finding Eric's fingers and watching the way he studied their hands come together.
"You should start thinking about what you want me to make you for dinner if you get out of here," he said, attempting to save them from the tense silence. It was made worse by the fact that she couldn't talk to engage in typical doctor's visit small talk without writing out her responses.
Calleigh rested her cheek against the pillow, watching him with a slight smile. She recognized his distraction technique for exactly what it was, but that didn't stop her eyes from lighting up at the possibility of one of Eric's home-cooked meals instead of the bland hospital food she'd downed for lunch. When her eyes began to silently plead with him as an idea suddenly came to mind, he chuckled knowingly. She was asking for one of her favorites – his family's slow-simmered Cuban beans and rice – but unfortunately that took hours and the day was dwindling.
"That'll have to wait til tomorrow," he promised after checking his watch, then bringing their joined hands to his lips to press a kiss to the back of her hand. Out of the corner of his eye, he watched the doctor turn her attention to the ultrasound machine and flip a few switches, and he took a deep, steadying breath.
Her brows furrowed and she mouthed, "Tampa."
Eric let out an amused, disbelieving breath. "I'm not going back to Tampa anytime soon," he said with such certainty that she knew he'd already made the arrangements. She gave him a disapproving but appreciative look and sighed, and he knew they'd be talking about this later. His method of distraction effectively over, Calleigh focused her attention on the doctor as her eyes searched the screen.
"I don't want you to worry if we don't hear anything," her doctor assured them both, aware of two pairs of eyes on her. "We usually can't hear a heartbeat until about six or seven weeks, but I should be able to see whether everything looks normal."
Calleigh nodded, searching her face for any indication of what she was seeing. But her doctor had a practiced poker face, never giving anything away until she was sure. And then her lips finally curved into the slightest smile as she adjusted a few things on the machine before flipping a switch. White background noise plus a soft but strong thudding beat filled the room and Calleigh's fingers immediately tightened around Eric's.
Eric felt like time had stilled around them, aware of nothing but the strong little heartbeat and the relieved tears welling in Calleigh's eyes as they found his.
"Looks like you're about six weeks and four days," the doctor confirmed with a smile. "And he or she looks great." She rotated the screen towards them, both Eric and Calleigh immediately transfixed by the sight: a barely distinguishable blip amid the darkness on the screen with a very distinguishable, flickering heartbeat.
Eric brought her fingers to his lips again, kissing her knuckles. Neither of them could tear their eyes from the screen quite yet, and the doctor smiled as she let them take it in.
"I still want you to take it easy for a few days and follow up with your regular OB next week," she told them gently. "Your body went through a lot today." She set a reassuring hand on Calleigh's bed before adding, "I'll give you guys a minute while I get your discharge paperwork sent upstairs."
Calleigh sighed heavily as the doctor left, her eyes finally leaving the screen only to find Eric's as she laid her head back against the pillow. He smoothed his fingers over her temple and into her hair, cupping the back of her head as he pressed his lips to her forehead. Remaining there, his eyes darted back to the screen and his lips moved against her skin as he spoke.
"Yeah, no way I'm going to Tampa – or anywhere – for a while."
Calleigh sighed, fighting every useless objection as a soft chuckle escaped her. She'd normally have far too many qualms about him changing his life for her and putting his new career at risk, but this – well, this was a pretty good reason. She couldn't blame him for wanting to stay. And she couldn't blame herself for wanting him to stay.
Turning, her eyes quickly settled on the screen again and his followed, the two of them unable to stop watching the strong flicker of reassurance with every quick beat. Calleigh breathed in deeply, senses on overload between the comforting sight, reassuring sound of that steady heartbeat, and the feel of his thumb smoothing over hers.
"Okay," she mouthed, and he smiled at how quickly she acquiesced. Keeping his eyes on the screen, he pulled her close and rested his head atop hers, reveling in how quickly everything had just changed and how little he minded.