Story C - Part 1 of 1

"Oh man…" Castle sighed when he stopped walking in front of his hotel room door. Arriving at his room meant the evening was over, and that was sad because it had been such a wonderful evening. His head was fuzzy and swam with more emotions than coherent thoughts, but his heart was full of joy and love. What else could have been better than watching his good friend and colleague marry the woman he clearly loved so deeply? Castle didn't think anything could be.

"Wedding receptions are the best, right Beckett?" Castle turned back to look at his partner, who decidedly looked less enthralled than he, but Castle didn't notice that. He merely sighed happily and leaned against the door instead of opening it. He had not even realized that his key card was out of his pocket until he felt Beckett dragging it from his fingers.

The smaller man shoved the card into the door lock and sighed, "I guess."

"What? Yeah they're—whoa!" Castle nearly fell to the ground when Beckett opened the door despite him leaning against it. He laughed and recovered by stumbling into the room and then leaning hard against the wall inside. Then, with his head lolling back with such carelessness he was nearly knocking a photo down, he threw his hands out and said, "Weddings are the best. Great food. Great drinks. Great celebrating."

"Cake."

"Great cake!" He added Beckett's suggestion to his list. Then, turning his head, he smiled at the man who looked stiff and uncomfortable. Beckett was probably the only man with his tie and shirt collar still prim-and-proper by the end of the night, yet Castle wasn't very surprised. Of course his partner wouldn't loosen up, even for a wedding. Though it had certainly annoyed him early on, by that point he was used to Beckett being a bit of a stick-in-the-mud in social settings; it was simply part of the younger man's charm.

Reaching out, Castle grabbed the bottom edge of Beckett's tie and flipped it carelessly. "Even you had fun tonight, didn't ya Beckett?"

"It was a very nice wedding and—oh! Careful!"

Castle brushed away Beckett's helping hands when he once again stumbled when he started to walk again. He made his way into the bathroom, not entirely sure why, and leaned heavily against the counter as he stared at his reflection in the mirror. Damn his eyes were blue. Why did they always look so much bluer in hotel room mirrors?

"Are you sure you're okay? How much did you have to drink tonight?"

He turned his head and gave him a smirk. "Enough that I'm probably going to have a headache in the morning. Thanks for being my DD, by the way."

Gazing at him from the bathroom doorway, Beckett merely said, "I walked you across the parking lot."

Castle shrugged, took a step away from the counter, and then caught a glimpse of the toilet from the corner of his eye. Suddenly noticing the fullness of his bladder, he took two steps to his right, lifted up the toilet seat, and unzipped the fly on his pants. A moment later, he grumbled to himself and placed his hand against the nearby wall for support; taking a leak was always so much harder when the room was swaying.

A minute later, he emerged from the bathroom to find his partner standing with a water bottle in his outstretched hand. "Here. Should help with the headache."

"Aww Beckett." Castle cooed and reached out his hand. Instead of taking the water bottle, he pinched his partner's left cheek and said, "You're the best, Beckett; you're always the best." Then, he walked over and flopped down onto the bed without taking the water bottle. Hey, lay back with his hands folded atop his belly and let his eyes drift shut. He thought he'd been laying there for several minutes, maybe almost nearing sleep, when suddenly he was startled by a voice saying, "Hey Castle?"

His eyes popped open and he lifted his head to see Beckett standing just in front of his knees. He had totally forgotten he was there! Rubbing his hands over his belly he responded with, "Hey do you want to order food or something?"

"No. No I was just…I was just wondering if you black out when you drink." He walked over and put the water bottle on the bed just beside Castle's elbow as he spoke.

Castle looked down at the bottle, then back up at Beckett, feeling as though he had not heard the question at all. "Huh?"

"After all you've drank tonight, will you black out? Or will you remember this?"

"Nah, I don't black out." He sat up and began to attempt to open the water bottle Beckett provided, which proved surprisingly difficult. His hand slipped off twice and he cursed at it before smaller hands pulled it from his grasp and returned it cap-free. He lifted his head and felt a wave of admiration for his partner that had him once again saying, "Aww Beckett you're so nice; you're the best."

"Uh…yeah… I'm just trying to see if you'll remember this conversation."

His brow wrinkled after he took a few gulps of water. "What conversation?"

"This one. I, um, I want to tell you something. Something I've wanted to tell you for a while, but I've been afraid."

Staring at Beckett, Castle noticed his expression getting a bit paler and he felt bad. Beckett didn't have to be afraid to be honest with him; they could always be honest with each other. In fact, he was pretty sure he knew what Beckett was about to say and, honestly, had expected it for some time. "'s okay, Beckett." Castle sloppily pushed himself off the bed and walked over to the suitcase he had opened up on top of the chest of drawers by the TV. He began to take off his tie and unbutton his shirt as he turned back towards the room's only other occupant.

"I already know you have a crush on me."

Beckett looked as though he just swallowed a spider. "What?"

Castle shrugged his shoulders out of his shirt and began to pull the item off. It came off smoothly from his left arm but became caught at his right wrist. As he tried to untangle himself he said casually, "You have a crush on me, right? I've known that for a while."

"Wha—n-no. No, I don't have a crush on-"

"'s okay." He muttered then worked for a few seconds before getting himself untangled. After shoving the shirt unceremoniously into his luggage, Castle began to walk towards his friend, who looked a few shades paler—if that was possible. He felt bad for alarming Beckett, because in his mind there was no reason to be upset. Sure, it was a bit weird that they were friends and partners even though one of them had romantic feelings for the other. He didn't think that had ever happened to him before, but it was okay. He had decided that months earlier when some raucous teasing from his other coworkers made it impossible for him to ignore the fact that his probably-homosexual partner had a crush on him, despite the fact that he was decidedly straight. It had never once bothered him, even with his less-than-kind coworkers using it to get a rise out of him.

"I don't mind, Beckett. 's actually quite flattering, but I…I'm not int'rested in you that way-"

"No, Castle-"

"I mean, you are a good-looking dude for sure. And you are the best. The best partner, but…sexually…"

"Please just-"

"I mean," Castle continued, completely ignoring his partners attempted interruptions. He gazed down at his hands and moved them so that they were in fists, except that the index fingers pointed straight out. He directed his index fingers towards each other and bumped the tip of them together asking, "how would that even…"

"God, Castle, just-"

"I mean I know this isn't the way that-"

"STOP!"

Beckett's elevated voice was enough to make Castle drop his hands to his sides and stare blankly at his partner. Beckett took two steps towards him before speaking again.

"I'm not coming on to you, Rick. I'm trying to tell you—no, just—just forget it."

Castle felt his stomach lurch when Beckett turned away from him. Though a minute earlier the world had seemed fuzzy, the intensity of Beckett's stare as he spoke just then had drawn Castle towards a clearer frame of mind. His gut told him the thing Beckett was about to tell him was quite serious, and he felt bad if his misassumption had derailed his partner's progress.

"Beckett, wait."

"No." He waived his hand dismissively and began to walk towards the hotel room door. "Just forget it, you should-"

"Wait." Castle finally caught up to his partner, grabbed his arm, and spun him around. As he gazed down could see a peculiar emotion in his partner's eyes; something he could not get a read on. Feeling the seriousness settle down on them once more, he tilted his head to the side and said softly, "What is it? You can tell me."

Beckett shook his head. "It doesn't matter."

"I think it does. Tell me. C'mon." Feeling excitement and lightness return to his chest, Castle bounced up on his toes and asked, "Is it a secret? I'll keep your secret. C'mon Beckett just tell me. Tell me and-"

"I'm a woman!"

The words exploded from Beckett's mouth so violently that Castle flinched. His hand fell off Beckett's arm and he took a step back. Either too drunk or too shocked to process the words, nothing that made sense filtered into his brain, so he merely whispered, "What?"

Beckett's head lowered down until her chin was nearly against her chest. She brought her hands up so that her fingertips delicately touched her temples. She shook her head back and forth for several moments and when she looked back up at him, tears filled her eyes. "I'm a woman," she rasped out again. Then, after taking a ragged breath, she continued her explanation.

"I'm not a man, I'm a woman. My mother was killed, and I wanted to solve her murder so bad—so bad—that I changed everything about who I was, so I could try and solve her case. But I can't. I can't. I tried for over a year, but I can't, and that makes me feel like…" She paused to shake her head. "I know I still do good—that we still do good and I'm glad. I'm proud of what we do but nights like tonight…" She turned and gestured towards the hotel door and then looked back at him, defeated.

"I know that with the life I chose, I'll never get to have a wedding. I'll never have someone who… I have to be alone. I am alone. Most days it's okay, but tonight I just felt so, so lonely. And when I saw…when I saw you with that bridesmaid I just…" She clasped her hands together, held them in the center of her chest, and said the next words as though they were a sin, "I wanted you to dance with me."

Feeling the haze in his brain dissipating even further, Castle stared down at his partner with brand new eyes. He took in the teary honey-brown eyes, the flushed cheeks, and pink lips that trembled ever so slightly. He felt himself seeing his partner for the very first time and taking in that she—she—was a caring, brave, and extraordinary person who was hurting very much, and that made him sad.

As he had always thought of himself as a friendly, outgoing person, Castle had welcomed partnerships with his colleagues ever since joining the academy. Not counting those he was paired up with for training during his rookie year, Castle had three partners before Beckett and thought of them each fondly. When his last partner quit the NYPD to move out of state with his wife, Castle had been disappointed, but also looked forward to meeting the man they described as one of the sharpest on the job.

Right from the start Castle appreciated Beckett's intelligence and insight but had to admit to him being one of the least fun to share a car with simply because Beckett didn't seem to be having any fun. He was too tense and too focused on rules and protocol. It took a few weeks of joke cracking and friendly ribbing to loosen him up, but Castle was pleased with how much progress they had made during their eighteen month long working relationship.

Despite Beckett becoming a more fun-loving person, Castle had always felt there was something between them he could not put his finger on. They were friends and partners—almost like family—but it was more than that. Castle found himself drawn to Beckett more than he had with any other partner before. They would go out for drinks after their shift and talk until the bar or restaurant closed without even realizing. They would go to Mets games together and have a good time no matter if their team won or lost. When he realized that Beckett probably had a crush on him, Castle explained away the connection as that, but never really believed it. Now, suddenly, the puzzle pieces were moving closer together, though they hadn't matched-up quite yet. The vision was getting clearer, but the edges remained hazy.

"I, um, I'm gonna go so-"

"Wait." Castle's body and mouth reacted before his brain had a chance to catch up with the situation. He reached out for Beckett's arm and used it to drag her towards him. When his mind finally caught up, he smiled softly, and moved his other hand so it could rest gently just above her hip. Then he began to step in time to an inaudible beat. Meanwhile, she remained frozen, the creases in her brow deepening.

"What are you doing?"

"You said you wanted to dance with me."

Looking quite startled, she tried to step out of his grasp, but he held her fast. "I—but there's no music!"

"So?" he responded rhetorically. Then, he slid his hand from her hip to the middle of her back so he could pull her closer. She half-fell into him, but when she righted herself, she placed her hands delicately on his shoulders. His hands met at the small of her back and he asked, "Is this what you had in mind?"

"N-not exactly."

"Do you want music?"

"No, I… hold on." She stepped out of their embrace and immediately began to shrug her shoulders out of her black blazer. The tossed it on to the end of the bed and turned back around loosening her tie. When it was un-done enough, she pulled it off up and over her head. Only then did she unbutton the top two buttons of her emerald green shirt.

Castle watched his process with amusement, finally asking, "Better?"

She gave a little embarrassed smile and said, "Sorry; I can't really lift my arms in that coat." Then, she stepped back up and slid her hands across his shoulders until she could link her fingers behind his neck. He settled his at her mid-back once more and then began to sway.

As they spun around in a slow circle, Castle drew her in just a little further. He skimmed his hands up more towards her mid-back, feeling the narrowness of her waist and wondered briefly how he had not realized her femininity before. He hadn't been looking for it, obviously, and, really, they had very little physical contact other than handshakes her back-slaps. Well, there was that one time he had to hoist her up to look through an open warehouse window, but at the time he'd been too paranoid about their murderous suspect finding them out than to really think about the feel of her body against his.

With that thought in mind, Castle slid his hands down her torso until they rested at her hip bones. He then moved his hands down and inward, feeling the flare of her hips leading to the curve of her ass. He settled his fingertips against her, pulled her in a little closer, and hummed when their hips came nearly flush together. He squeezed his fingers just a little bit and laughed inwardly at the feel of her soft flesh. "Hmm yeah—you're definitely a woman."

"Castle," she warned, a hint of nervousness in her voice.

"I'm serious." He gave her another little squeeze and concluded, "Men's asses don't feel like this."

Beckett moved her hands to his collar bone and pressed herself away from him until she could look up with a cocked eyebrow. "And just how many men's asses have you felt?"

"I…" He croaked, caught off-guard by her question. "I…I don't know. You just have a woman's ass, okay? Sorry for interrupting our dance."

Her skeptical expression melted into a smile and she said, "It's okay. I guess I should be going anyway." She stepped away from him and returned to the end of the bed to collect her things, but as he watched her pick up her blazer and drape it over his arm, Castle felt the urge to strongly rebut her decision.

"What if you didn't go?"

"What?"

Instead of answering verbally, Castle took two strides across the room, cupped his hands beneath her jaw, and pulled her lips against his.

For the life of him he wasn't sure what made him do it. Maybe it was because he was a little drunk. Maybe it was because of the fact that her crush on him really meant something now. Maybe it was because of the way it felt when he pressed their bodies together. Whatever made him do it, though, he no longer cared the moment he could feel the heat of her mouth on his. He knew then that the impromptu kiss was the best idea he'd had in weeks.

Though she did kiss him back at first, Beckett soon slid from his embrace, stared at him for a moment, then sadly shook her head saying, "You're drunk, Castle."

He refuted her accusation with, "Being delivered shocking information has quite a sobering effect, actually. Besides…" He snagged her hip and pulled her in closer. "Maybe I don't want you to be lonely tonight."

Her eyes flared wide on the last word he spoke. "Tonight?"

He brushed his nose up against hers and said gruffly, "Yeah. Tonight." The more her thought about it, the less he wanted her to leave, but he was confident in his ability to convince her.

He kissed her again and again and again until he could feel her melting more into his embrace. When her fingers curled into the hem of his t-shirt, he let out a groan and began to kiss his way across her jaw. "Mm, god, Beck…" The taste of her name on his lips suddenly felt sour, and Castle pulled back, so he could look at her. Still cradling her jaw, he said, "Beckett's not your name"

"Yes, it is."

He shook his head. "What's your real name—your woman name?"

She stared at him for twenty seconds without blinking before telling him, "Kate."

"Kate." He echoed and immediately felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. Yes, that definitely felt better on his lips, particularly the sharp cut of the "t." "Okay, Kate," he continued. He dipped his chin, placed one more rough kiss on her lips, and then stepped back, instructing, "Take off your clothes."

He pulled his t-shirt up over his head and tossed it towards his luggage. He then moved his hands to his belt, but when he realized she had yet to move, he frowned and said, "What's wrong?"

Her gaze turned hesitant. "Are you going to remember this in the morning?"

He shrugged one shoulder. "Probably. Why?"

She folded her arms over her chest and said, "Maybe—maybe we should just…"

Her voice faded away when he skimmed his hands up her arms and on to the tops of her shoulders. "Do you want this, Kate?" he asked her softly. She remained unmoving for several seconds before nodding her head in affirmation. "Then," he continued with a smile, "stop thinking about tomorrow and just focus on right now."

With that, he gave her shoulders a light shove, causing her to sit down on the mattress. A moment later, he joined her, kissing her neck as he began to unbutton her shirt, promising himself that loneliness would be the furthest thing from her mind by the time they finally fell asleep that night.

The following morning, Castle awoke and immediately moaned. His mouth was dry and prickly, he felt mildly nauseous, and somehow a dozen tiny hammers had entered his skull and were trying to bang their way out. "Shit." He cursed aloud and covered his face with his hands. Had he really drank that much? He didn't think so. Then again, over-doing it on wine did this to him more and more as he got older—and he'd yet to learn how to stop at only a few glasses.

He lay there for five minutes, wallowing in his own misery, before he finally forced himself to slowly sit up. He knew that his recovery process needed to begin with a shower and copious amounts of water and coffee. Then he needed food, some pain killers, and, later, a nap, but first, he needed to make it to the toilet.

With his room thankfully still quite dim, Castle managed to shuffle his way into the bathroom and use the facilities. As his head hurt too much to contemplate how he was going to get high volumes of water and coffee in the hotel, he decided to return to bed and shut his eyes for a few more minutes; however, on his way there, he was caught off-guard by the appearance of the mattress. Both sides of the bed were disturbed, with the second set of pillows clearly indicating someone slept on them. He turned around, half-expecting to see a woman hiding in the doorway, preparing to make a "walk of shame" but there was no one there.

At a slower pace, Castle returned to bed and, despite his discomfort, thought about the night before. He skimmed his hands against the sheets and shut his eyes. Slowly, flashes of memory began to return to him. Feverous kisses and illicit moans. The feel of petite breasts in his hands and a gorgeous body beneath him. A smile…the smile of his partner…

"Beck…" Castle's eyes popped open and he could not even get his partner's full name out due to the shock.

He stared down at the mattress for several moments as though the answer would appear as text on the empty sheets, but of course it did not. Instead, he was stuck wracking his aching brain to try and remember the events of last night, hazy as they were. He definitely remembered the wedding ceremony, and walking to the hotel ballroom along with his colleagues. After that it became a blur of food, wine, dancing, wine, cake, and more wine. But then…then there was Beckett, crying in his room and telling him things that made his heart ache.

"God…" He sighed aloud as he skimmed his hands down his face. Was Beckett really a woman? Had they really made love? Had he really fallen asleep with his face buried in her hair, that somehow smelled like cherries? At that point, he truly wasn't certain, but he knew he needed to find an answer.

Mustering up all his determination, Castle pushed himself up off the mattress and began walking towards the door only to realize halfway there that he was completely nude. As that would present several problems, he quickly returned to his suitcase, and though his eyeballs felt as though they were throbbing with discomfort, he managed to pull on his dress pants and a white t-shirt before heading out into the hall.

Thankfully, Beckett's room was only two doors down from his, and he knocked on it repeatedly until the door swung open with her annoyed, "Do you know what time it is?"

"No," he replied, pushing his way in the room.

"It's barely seven a.m.! How are you even awake?"

"I don't know. What—what happened last night?" He turned around to face her and saw her step towards him cautiously. She wore a men's NYPD hoodie with jeans and her hair was clearly still mussed from sleep. Castle surprised himself by immediately recognizing her as a woman; then again, he supposed seeing her fully naked did have a way of thoroughly proving her true gender.

"Well, um, what exactly do you remember?"

"Bits and pieces—god." He groaned and began to rub his temples. "My head is killing me. Can you—can you just tell me what you remember?"

"I'm pretty sure that you slept with a woman named Kate."

He flopped down on the end of her bed and gazed up at her saying, "I'm pretty sure that I slept with you."

She dipped her gaze and scuffed her bare toe against the carpet. "I'm not sure that's what happened."

"Why not?"

She shrugged and looked back at him. "I don't know…too complicated? Besides, you're the one that said you weren't interested."

"That's when I thought you had a dick. Ugh—is it extra bright in here or something?" He moaned and covered his face with his hands again. Evidently, the sun was filtering into her room more than into his to the point where his eyes were beginning to water.

"Here, hold on." He heard her move about the room for a moment before returning to his side and saying, "I have water and aspirin."

"Thanks." He held out his hand and she put two pills in his palm. He tossed them into his mouth, then took the water bottle she held and gulped half of it down at once. Then, he gave the bottle back to her and scooted his way up her mattress until he reached the top. "I just need to lay here for a minute."

"Okay."

Castle curled on his side facing away from the room's window and shut his eyes tightly. Feeling rather cold and lonely after a minute he said softly, "Hey Kate?"

The room was silent for almost twenty seconds before he heard, "Yes?"

Smiling softly at the fact that she responded to the name he now knew to be her real one, he said, "Come lay down with me. Please."

Another few seconds went by before he felt her climb up on the bed behind him. She scooted up next to him and began to stroke one of her hands through his hair while the other gently caressed his arm. He knew with her beside him, taking care of him, he could have relaxed and succumbed to more sleep very quickly, but he wasn't quite ready for that yet, especially when the opportunity to tease her had presented itself so readily.

"Mmm so you do have a crush on me," he hummed.

She poked one of her fingers into his shoulder blade and grumbled, "Shut up."

"'s okay, Beckett," he sighed out, "I have a crush on you too."

"No, you don't."

Though it pained him, he rolled over onto his back, so he could look up at her. The last thing he wanted was for her to think he did not have feelings for her. What those feelings were—he was not entirely sure. They were new, and confusing, but he was certain about one thing: he definitely wanted a chance to get to know her—the real person she was—when he was fully sober and without an excruciating headache.

"Yeah, Kate, I really do," he promised. She looked tentatively hopeful for a moment before lowering her body down towards his. He met her halfway, lifting up his head, and brushing his lips against hers briefly. Then he lay down once more and once he felt her body curl around his, he shut his eyes and relaxed. He had no idea what their future would hold, but somehow he knew they would face it together.

A/N: as always, thanks to everyone who is reading. this is all that's written for now, but there is still the possibility of Part D :)