Note: if you want the full (smutty) version then you'll have to go to my Archive of Our Own account - which is under the same username. Due to the rules on the ratings for this site, I do not post explicit content on here. If you don't care about the smut, feel free to read this version, though it does make it seem like it ends a little more abruptly in my opinion.

This was based off the song Marry Me by Thomas Rhett.

Ben could remember the first time he saw her five years ago. Rey was damn near perfect, if her hazel eyes hadn't been glaring directly at him with so much hate. In that moment, if looks could kill then he would have been dead on the spot. Yet he couldn't help but find her beautiful, her chestnut hair was pulled back into a ponytail, putting her face on display. She was a natural beauty, not needing make up to hide her face. He could tell she was young, yet clearly motivated considering he later found out that she was only twenty-one and somehow found herself on a team in the FBI that was hunting one of the most wanted men in the world: Snoke. He was impressed, though he wouldn't say it out loud. Somehow she had managed to catch Ben, one of the most notorious hackers and an important part of Snoke's empire. In short, he knew everything there was to know about Snoke and could easily take him down, not only with his testimony but also with the hacking skills he could use to get into any of Snoke's servers, hacking any of his files, and provide them all the evidence they needed to take the man down.

"You're not doing yourself any favors by keeping quiet," she told him, staring him down. Had it been anyone else, Rey might have been intimidating with her fierce look and feisty attitude. But Ben wasn't fazed, not after working under Snoke for so long, not after all of the things he had seen and done. "Just give us what we need and we can make a deal," Rey sounded disgusted by her words, but knew that it was necessary to bring down the man at the top. "Come on Ben, you have nothing to say?" she smirked; knowing that using his birth name would annoy him.

"Don't call me that," he practically growled. "Ben Solo died a long time ago. You know my mother, why don't you ask her she knows exactly when it happened," he leaned back in the chair. He knew they purposefully gave him a small chair, with a matching small table that he was handcuffed to; knowing that it wouldn't accommodate his large size. Ben Solo was an intimidating figure; at 6' 2" he wasn't a small man by any means. His dark brown eyes appeared soulless, void of any feelings or remorse.

"I don't need your mother or your file to know you're a monster. It doesn't matter when or how it happened," she scoffed. "I have enough to bring you down, especially with what you were in the middle of doing when we found you. We both know Snoke's empire will have a big impact with you gone, it'll only be a matter of time before it crumbles and we find him. So I don't really need you I suppose. I can just let you rot in prison for the rest of your life. I'm giving you a chance to help yourself, take it or not. Either way I will find a way to bring him down."

Ben was silent for a moment, watching her. Rey never sat down; he knew she was trying to seem in control by appearing taller than him because he was seated. "Show me the deal and maybe I'll consider talking," he told her. "I'm not stupid, I want something in writing with all the terms and conditions laid out before I say anything. I'm not giving you what you need for you to just back out of your alleged deal. I know how this works; you get me something legitimate that is in writing and signed by everyone that needs to sign and I'll consider it." Ben knew the system; he grew up with a mother that was the director of the FBI and a fugitive turned informant for a father. His parents' story was so cliché that someone might as well make a movie about it.

Rey stormed out of the interrogation room, hating that she was letting her emotions get the best of her. "That man is such an asshole," she told her team leader, Poe Dameron. "I know I shouldn't let that cocky bastard get under my skin, but it's hard when he holds all the cards. He's our best chance at taking down Snoke and he knows it," she huffed as she leaned against the wall outside the interrogation room where Poe had been watching. "As you know, he wants to see the deal."

"Guess we better talk to the director then," Poe sighed. "Maybe we should have her present it to him, it might rile him up a little to see his mother," he suggested. "We all know how intimidating she can be." Poe was exactly what people would think when they thought of an FBI agent. He was like an agent pulled straight out of a movie, clean cut, handsome, brave, a leader, loyal to his country and extremely determined. But then there were also parts of him that were reckless, as Leia had often put it. He was good at his job, but sometimes he and his team took what were deemed as unnecessary risks. No one could deny he got the job done, which was the one of the reasons he kept his job as a team leader and was on track to moving up in the FBI, if he wanted to.

When he got the deal Ben started to wonder if someone was fucking with him. Again, it was like his life was a movie. He had heard about it happening, after all it happened to his father that he was offered a deal that if he continued to worked with the FBI after giving them everything he knew about Snoke, then he would have his freedom. He would be their technical analyst, using his computer skills for good rather than evil, as his mother had so eloquently put it, or he could rot in prison for the rest of his life. Ben looked at the paper in front of him, not sure what to say, as his mother sat across from him, staring at him intently.

"I don't have all day Ben," she told him sternly. She was poised, not intimidated by anyone. Despite her small stature at 5' 1" she commanded any room that she walked into as if she was the largest person in the room. There was something about her that demanded respect and she had earned it throughout her career. "Make up or mind or I'll take the deal off the table," she threatened and he knew it wasn't an empty threat.

"Fine," he finally said, not wanting to spend his life in prison. It wasn't as if he were loyal to Snoke, Ben was selfish. He always had his best interest in mind and hated the majority of the people that would be taken down with Snoke, specifically the red headed asshole Armitage Hux. "I'll give you whatever you need," Ben caved.

"And you won't be going by Kylo Ren anymore," Leia smirked. "That's not the name I gave you, Ben. So you better work on resurrecting Ben Solo while you're at it," she got up, taking off his handcuffs so he could sign the deal she set in front of him. "Welcome to the team," he hated how smug she sounded. "I'm sure you will love working with Poe and his team."

"Fuck," he cursed as she left the room. Part of him wondered if that would be more torture than being in prison. Though he had a feeling he'd just be handed over to the CIA for them to do as they pleased, not just thrown into a cell. "This is going to suck," he said to himself.

Much to Leia's surprise, Snoke was not the only powerful man Ben had information on. "Do you know how many people are going to want to kill me after this?" he grumbled, unencrypting all of his files so he could provide them what they needed. "People aren't stupid, they will know I cooperated," he told her, yet he continued to provide them what they needed to take down a long list of powerful men and women.

"Why did you keep all of this?" Rey asked, curious as to why he would have kept everything on a highly encrypted drive.

"Do you really think I didn't know this was a possible outcome of everything I did for Snoke?" he shrugged. "The man knows nothing about computers, that's why he had me and I didn't need to worry about him finding about all of this," he explained. Between all of the evidence he had and his testimony, they had more than enough to prosecute and convict Snoke and his associates. "That's all I have," he finished, pushing his computer away.

"Give me your ankle," she demanded, to which he just rolled his eyes and did what she asked. Rey tightly clipped on the tracking device.

"Is this really necessary?" he asked. "You do realize I could hack this thing right? You'd never know, it really is useless," he told her, looking at her as if she were an idiot.

"It's part of your deal that you don't and I would hope you're not stupid enough to tamper with it just so we can't track you," she retorted. "Unless you want to go to prison with all of the people you just helped put away."

"So fucking stupid," he grumbled, but didn't argue further. It was only for a year, so he just dealt with it, knowing she was right. If he risked it and got caught again, his deal was off the table and he was in prison with the possibility of the death penalty. He was already going to be looking over his shoulder the rest of his life, he didn't need to add to the list of the people that would be hunting him down.

"You did this to yourself, now deal with the consequences," the hate in her tone was evident. It was clear she didn't want to work with him moving forward. "I guess I'll see you tomorrow, eight o'clock sharp. Don't be late," she walked away and part of him wanted to be late the next day just to spite her, but decided against it. He was already on thin ice.

The next day he met the full team. There was Poe, the leader; Rey, the standard agent that seemed to be very good at tracking down the criminals and hand to hand combat; Rose, who specialized in bombs; Finn, their sniper; and BB, a spunky forensic analyst that was also trained to be in the field. To Ben's surprise, other than Poe, they were all rather young. From what he understood, they were one of the most successful teams in the FBI. Catching and turning Ben earned them a lot of respect within the agency. He found none of them impressing physically. They were all fit, but there didn't seem to be anything special other than their reputations. He had no doubt that they were all talented if his mother had put them on a specialized team and forced him to work with them. It was understood that unless his skills were absolutely necessary in the field, he would be in what he called the dungeon. It was a small room, filled with computers and access to anything he'd need to help.

Poe walked up to him, eyeing him. Ben could tell that none of them were happy to be working with him, and they were all suspicious of him. "As much as I don't want you trained to be in the field, there might be a time where you need to be and you'll need to be able to protect yourself or someone else," Poe sighed.

Ben just chuckled, "You don't need to teach me how to shoot a gun or fight, if that's what you're insinuating." He had years of training under Snoke, it was ridiculous to him that they would think the man hadn't taught him to be proficient in fighting. "Just because you're men barged into my home with about ten guns pointing at me, does not mean I don't know how to fight. It means I have self-preservation and I didn't want to get shot."

"We'll see," he signaled for him to follow him to the shooting range, to which Ben just rolled his eyes. "Rey is our more accurate with a hand gun, so she'll be helping you," he told Ben when they walked in to find Rey shooting at the target.

"Multitalented I take it," he smirked. Rey walked over and was getting ready to show him how to load the gun as if he were an idiot. Before she could say anything he picked up the gun, loading it with proficiency, "Let's get this over with."

Rey's jaw dropped a little as she watched him grab the headset to make sure he wouldn't go deaf shooting the gun in the small space. She did the same and followed him in, ready to help him with his stance. Before she got the chance, Ben aimed the gun and shot at the target. When he was done it came back perfect, all shots dead accurate to the chest or the head. Ben pushed past Rey and back to Poe, taking the headset off and placing it and the gun on the counter, "I told you, I don't need a lesson on how to shoot a gun."

Poe tried to hide his surprise, but wasn't doing a good job. To his credit, Rey looked just as shocked. Poe just nodded, staring at the target. It was more accurate than Rey's, which angered her.

"I'd be happy to give you a lesson some time," he smirked. "Would you like to do some hand to and combat now? Or how about how to withstand torture without talking, or does the CIA have dibs on that? Trust me, there is nothing you could teach me or put me through that Snoke hasn't already done," he told the man.

"We could shoot you in the head and see how you do with that," Rey mumbled, still ticked that he had already been trained, probably better than what the FBI could do.

"Rey," Poe warned before turning back to Ben. "I get it, you'll be fine in the field, which we hope is never necessary," Poe was annoyed with the man in front of him and wanted to punch the smug expression off of his face, but refrained.

While most of the team slowly learned to trust him over the first six months, seeing how much faster they were solving cases with his assistance. He hadn't given them any reason to think that he wasn't going betray him. Ben hadn't realized it but he was slowly becoming Ben Solo again, to the point that he was fixing his relationship with his mother. Rey by far took the longest to convince.

It was a little over a year before she accepted him. Ben could remember it like it was yesterday; it was his first time with them in the field. They were going to some remote part of the country to help take down a human trafficking ring, meaning if they wanted any chance of reliable communication with him then he needed to come with them. He hadn't expected to do anything more than work out of the crappy inn they had set up in, but it seemed someone had leaked the information that they were assisting with the investigation. It was all hands on deck situation, and Ben was finding it entertaining watching all of the alpha personalities fight over who should lead the investigation. They all knew it should be the team that specialized in these cases, but Poe didn't like taking orders.

It had just been him and Rey working out of the inn at that time, the rest of the team coordinating with the other teams working the case. She had been looking over his shoulder, watching him work, which was driving him crazy. Despite the fact that she clearly hated him, he couldn't help but be attracted to her. He'd come to the conclusion that the universe was punishing him for every thing he had done and had to make it so that he was attracted to the one woman he could never have.

Ben was pulled out of his thoughts from a sound in the adjacent room. Rey went to ask him what his problem was, but he silenced her with his hand before she could say anything, which just angered her more. Before she could yell at him, he pushed her off the couch they had been working from, onto the ground. Her eyes widened when she heard a shot go off behind them, aiming directly at where they had been sitting a moment ago. "Please tell me you have your gun," he said as he heard them moving closer.

That snapped Rey out of her shock as she pulled her gun out of its holster and started shooting back. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Ben move to get the gun that was on the table a few feet away, "Are you fucking insane?" she yelled at him as she continued to shoot at the assailants.

Somehow Ben managed to get the gun without being shot, and got behind cover of the near by doorway. He took down one of the two assailants while she finally managed to shoot the second. "What the fuck is wrong with you? You could have gotten killed," she snapped.

"You're welcome," he said, looking around to make sure it was only the two men that were sent to kill them. It was then she saw him holding his arm and realized that he did actually get shot when he moved for the gun. "Fuck," he looked at his arm. "Guess Snoke's training was useful after all," he tried to joke through the pain, knowing he was lucky that it could have been worse.

"You're an idiot," she told him before calling for medical and back up.

"We should check the rest of this place to make sure there aren't anymore," he said.

"You're already shot," she reprimanded him. "We'll stay here and check for any others when back up gets here. If they're going to kill us they'll have to come to us," she told him, not leaving room for argument.

"I'm shot, not disabled," he argued. "We need to clear this place sooner rather than later."

"You're crazy," she told him.

"I thought we established that a long time ago," he chuckled.

When back up and medical finally arrived they confirmed that there was no one else there. "Get him to medical," Rey demanded, not allowing him to argue that he was fine.

That was the day everything changed for their relationship. After he saved her life they slowly started too build a friendship. He wasn't sure how or when it happened but somehow she had become his best friend over the following four years. What was worse; at some point he had fallen in love with her, but knew it wasn't reciprocated and it never would be.

The only person that knew he was in love with her was Poe, who had somehow become his guy best friend. While relationships within a team were generally not encouraged, it wasn't against the rules and Poe had told him he'd back him up if he wanted to peruse a relationship with her. But it didn't matter, two years into their friendship she started to date Finn. "I told you she'd never like me," Ben had told Poe when they found out a few months after the relationship started.

"I'm sorry man," Poe replied as they went out for drinks, knowing Ben definitely needed one. It wasn't often that Ben drank anything stronger than beer, but that night he was drinking whisky. It was his drink of choice when something was wrong and Poe had only seen him drink it a handful of times since they'd known each other.

"Last year I almost told her how I feel," Ben admitted before finishing off his drink and signaling for the bartender to bring him another. "It was at the Christmas party she organized. I saw her in that red dress and all I wanted to do was kiss her, I guess it's good I didn't," he frowned, feeling like he was breaking on the inside.

Poe wasn't sure what to say to him that would make him feel better, he was pretty sure there was nothing that he could say that would make it better. "You'll find someone, there are other people out there. We'll find you someone," he could tell by the look on Ben's face that he didn't believe him.

"That's the problem, I don't think I'll find someone that I want other than Rey. I guess this is karma biting me in the ass for everything I've done," he tried to remain strong, but it was getting harder the more they talked about it.

"Don't say that," Poe felt bad for his friend. "You'll find someone, even if it's not Rey. There's someone out there for you."

"It's fine, I've come to terms with it," Ben said sadly. "I'm just lucky she's my friend now I suppose. She hated me before and there are so many reasons why we wouldn't work even if she gave me a chance," he tried to convince himself it was for the best.

That was two years ago and he still hadn't gotten over her. He felt his heart shatter into a million pieces as she stood in his kitchen showing him the ring on her left hand. "I'm getting married," she said excitedly, as if it wasn't obvious by the diamond ring she was now sporting. "I'm finally going to have the family I always wanted," she was beaming with excitement. He knew her history, her parents abandoning her when she was a child and how she always dreamed of having a real family.

"I'm happy for you," he lied. He knew she was in a serious relationship with Finn and it was only a matter of time before they got engaged, but it didn't make it hurt any less. He put on a fake smile, trying to convince himself that he could be happy just knowing that she would be happy; that she found someone that would make her happier than he ever could. He was just happy that she was too excited to notice that he was lying to her. Inside he wanted to throw something against the wall. He wanted to breakdown, but he kept it together for her, knowing that the moment she left he'd likely breakdown. He found himself reciting all of the excuses he had for why he never told her how he felt in his head to remind himself why it was best she found someone else. Now he had another one to add to the list: she's engaged to another man. That excuse hurt the most.

Rey bit her lip nervously before asking, "You know, I never had a real family. I don't know my father and now that Han's gone, I don't have a father figure in my life." They both frowned at the mention of his father's passing, but she quickly smiled and he didn't like where this conversation was going. "Will you walk me down the isle?"

Ben's heart sank at her request. It was bade enough he'd have to watch her marry someone else; the thought of giving her away might break him. The irony wasn't lost on him, but he still tried to smile, "Of course I will. I'd do anything for you." His heart broke further, which he didn't even think was possible, as he bit back the words he really wanted to say.

She smiled at him, the smile that made him weak. He could never say no to that smile. Rey pulled him into a hug and he felt his world crumble around him. She pulled away, "We're officially announcing it at dinner tomorrow, so you have to keep it quiet." Ben nodded, not telling her that it wasn't something he would want to talk about even if he could.

Dinner came far too soon. Poe had asked him numerous times that night what was wrong. Ben's only answer was, "Trust me, you'll find out soon enough." Poe dropped it and once the announcement was made he knew exactly what was wrong. He gave Ben a knowing look, but Ben just put on a fake smile for Rey.

It hurt to hear Rey recount the proposal and see the happy look on her face, knowing another man was the cause. Still, he put on a fake smile, pretending to be happy for the couple. Part of him was relieved when Rose suggested that they go to Maz's Cantina to get celebratory drinks. He needed something stronger and he knew he couldn't order whisky at dinner without Rey realizing something was wrong. Like Poe, she knew him too well when it came to his drinking habits. He was shocked that she didn't pick up on the fact he was lying, but he guessed she was just too happy to realize it.

When they arrived at Maz's, Ben snuck away to the bar to be alone and order a drink, which he desperately needed if he was going to make it through the rest of the night. He felt a hand pat his back, causing him to look to his right to find Poe standing next to him. Poe looked around to make sure they wouldn't be heard by anyone else in their party before asking, "Do you want to talk about it?"

The bartender dropped off Ben's drink and he mumbled, "Thank you." He took at deep breath, staring at the glass in front of him, "What's there to talk about? She's getting married, I think it's a little late to talk about at this point." He took a drink, hoping it would numb the pain.

"You've been in love with her for years Ben, you should probably talk to someone about it. I mean, you're drinking whisky tonight; clearly you're not in a good place. The last time I saw you drink whisky was when your dad passed and you were blaming yourself," Poe was worried for his friend, knowing how much it was hurting him to know that Rey would be marrying someone else.

"What, I can't drink whisky without being in a bad place?" Ben growled, downing his drink and signaling for the bartender to bring him another.

Poe frowned when the bartender brought the second glass and set it in front of Ben. "You always drink beer. The only time you go for something stronger is when something is wrong, we both know that you don't like getting drunk," Poe argued.

"I guess I knew it'd happen some day, I just wasn't ready for it. When she told me yesterday it took everything in me not to punch or throw something, I knew it'd never be me, but that doesn't make it any easier," Ben admitted before taking another drink, deciding not to down the entire glass this time.

"You can't expect it to be you if you never tell her how you feel," Poe pointed out as he signaled for the bartender a glass of whisky as well. "You shouldn't drink alone," he said with a small smile, though he knew it wouldn't make Ben feel any better.

"It would have been pointless. We both know that Rey would never date someone like me. When we first met she hated me, then we finally became friends and I started to fall in love with her while she made it painfully clear she doesn't feel the same way. I mean she fucking asked me to walk her down the isle like I'm her father," he huffed. "As much as I wanted to I couldn't say no, she would have been suspicious and she gave me that damn look. I know there are so many reasons why we'd never work and why I didn't ask her out the past five years. Now she's marrying Finn and I'm really trying to be happy for her but it's killing me," he took a few deep breaths to keep himself from breaking down.

Before Poe could say anything to try to comfort him, they heard Rey ask, "You're in love with me?" Both men became stiff and wide-eyed at the sound of her voice behind them.

Ben turned towards her, hoping it was just a nightmare, but he knew it wasn't. At that moment he wished the ground would just open beneath him and swallow him whole. Or maybe one of the many people he'd put in jail would finally be successful in having him assassinated right then and there. "You weren't supposed to hear that," Ben practically whispered. "Can we, uh, pretend that you didn't hear that?" he asked, though he knew there was no going back. Nothing was going to be the same.

"No," Rey shook her head, not sure what else to say for a moment. "Can I talk to you outside?" she asked and he was terrified at what she would say. He wanted to say no and just run away. "Please," she pleaded and he knew that he couldn't say no to her.

Ben looked at Poe to save him, but only received a sympathetic smile. He then looked at his drink; downing the contents before nodding, figuring if he was going to have the conversation he might as well drink first. She frowned at the drink but signaled for him to follow her and he got up and silently followed her out of the bar. They stood in awkward silence for a moment as they each tried to find the words to say. Ben finally broke the silence, "I understand if you want me to leave and just go back to coworkers that tolerate each other." He couldn't look her in the eye, finding his hands far more interesting than seeing the disgust in her eyes.

Ben's heart was pounding as he waited for her to respond. Part of him wishing she would just tell him to fuck off so he could try to move on knowing that she didn't want him in the same way he wanted her. "Do you know how long I've waited to hear you say those words? Almost four years, but I thought you didn't feel the same way so when Finn asked me out I said yes. I wasn't going to wait for you to change your mind and Finn is a great guy, so I said yes," Rey was on the verge of tears. Ben didn't say anything; he couldn't quite process what she had said. "Be honest with me, do you really love me?" she asked.

"So much it hurts," he admitted. "But I know it's too late for that," Ben frowned, knowing what was coming. "I know you're happy with Finn, I get it. You're going to have the family you always wanted, I'm happy for you, or at least I'm trying to be," he wanted the conversation to be over. He wanted her to just rip it off like a Band-Aid so he could leave and breakdown in private.

Rey shook her head, tears falling down her cheeks, "How am I supposed to marry Finn knowing how you feel? Did you not listen to a word that I just said? I'm marrying him because he makes me happy and I didn't think I could ever have you." She paused, biting her bottom lip, "He was the next best thing, but he's not you."

"You deserve better than me Rey," Ben told her. Once upon a time he would have been selfish and not cared about Finn, but he wasn't that man anymore. He couldn't hurt Finn like that and he knew that Finn was a better match for her. Finn wasn't always looking over his shoulder waiting for someone to get his or her revenge. Finn was stable; he wasn't a mess like Ben.

"Finn doesn't really love me," Rey said as she sat on the bench outside the bar. "At least not romantically. We've just been together so long that it seemed like the next logical step. But the truth is, I see how he looks at Rose, even if he doesn't realize it. I was being selfish when I said yes, even though I knew he'd never have all of my heart and I'd never have all of his."

"What are you saying Rey?" Ben asked, not wanting to get his hopes up, but wishing she'd say the words he wanted to hear. He wanted to hear her say that she loved him too, that she wanted him, not Finn. It was selfish of him, but that was all he really wanted if he were being honest.

"I need to think," she told him, he could see the uncertainty in her eyes. "I need to talk to Finn," she added and all he could do was nod. "It's not that I don't want you, I just need to think about it. Think about what I really want," she clarified.

"I'm going to go," he told her, feeling his heart break again. Her words made him think that she'd probably choose Finn in the end. She'd go with the sure thing, what she knew could make her happy, even if her whole heart wasn't in it. "I get it, really I do. I'm not a good person, you deserve so much better," he told her. "I'm pretty sure I know what you're going to decide, but let me know when you figure it out," he told her, turning walking away before anything else could be said. He couldn't stay and pretend everything was okay. Ben walked back in the bar to close out his tab so he could leave, not looking back and not talking to anyone else as he left.

It took a week for Rey to contact him again, showing up at his house unannounced. "I broke off the engagement," she told him, though he already knew from social media. Her and Finn had been amicable about it, saying it was no one's fault. They said they realized that it wasn't meant to be, confusing everyone considering they had only been engaged barely a week. That didn't stop Ben from blaming himself for hurting Rey.

"I saw," he said. "I'm sorry," he truly meant it.

Rey shook her head with a small smile. "I'm not," she told him. "I'd rather break off the engagement than live my life wondering what if," Rey explained. "I'm not going to pretend to feel something I don't and Finn understands that. We're still friends, he's not mad. In fact, it seemed like he was almost relieved."

Ben opened his mouth to speak, but Rey didn't let him. She pulled him down to her, kissing him. It took him a moment before responding, pulling her close and kissing her back. She ran her hands through his hair, taking advantage of the small moan he let out by deepening the kiss.

"I love you," he told her when they pulled away.

"I love you too," she smiled. "And I've waited far too long to have you," she bit her lip, pulling him toward his bedroom. "I don't want to waste anymore time," her voice was full of lust as she pushed him onto his bed.

He looked at her in awe, "Are you sure?"

"Positive," she said as she climbed into his lap. "Now shut up and fuck me," she demanded.

THE END.