A/N: You know how when Obamacare passed it was crazy unpopular, but was actually doing good for the country? I kind of feel like that's the reception Santos's big education overhaul would get. It's best for the country, but it might take people a while to see that.
Sam Seaborn was rushing down a West Wing hallway; his arms stuffed to the brim, full with briefing binders and hastily scribbled pages of notes. A Styrofoam cup of coffee was balancing precariously on top of all the mess. He was running very late to a meeting.
Both the First Lady's staff and the President's staff were converging today to discuss image strategy. Despite the recent success of their education bill passing, the American public had not quite warmed to the idea of longer school years among other drastic shifts which meant that poll numbers were dropping fast. The meeting was to discuss how to stop the bleeding.
Sam reached the door, which was closed and gave a frustrated grunt. He had no hands to turn the handle. He gave the bottom of the door a solid kick. Nobody in the room seemed to hear it. They were too immersed in discussion. Sam sighed and kicked the door a few more times, repeatedly. Over and over until somebody finally answered the door.
"What the hell is your problem?" Lou demanded as she yanked the door open.
"Nobody would answer the door," Sam stated with a huff.
"Maybe if you weren't late to the meeting, the door would have still been open," Lou bit back.
Sam ignored her and pushed past as he went to take a seat near the head of the group, dropping his books and papers with a solid thunk that shook the table.
"Okay where are we?"
The entire room burst into life at once as various staffers started talking over each other and arguments that were clearly taking place before Sam arrived continued. Sam's hands immediately went to his temples, trying to nurse his already throbbing headache. He glanced up and made eye contact with Donna, who was sitting quietly watching the rest of the staff. She gave a sympathetic smile and Sam gave a small one back.
"Alright." Nobody quieted down.
"ALRIGHT!" The room slowly turned to look at him. It wasn't like Sam to shout. "I want to have something solid to tell the President and Josh when they get here. So where do we start?"
"We stop getting our asses beat up on the Hill," Lou said pointedly, looking Sam dead in the eyes. He bristled at the accusation. His latest few undertakings when it came to the legislative agenda had not gone according to plan. Obstinate Republicans and on the fence Democrats afraid of moving the needle too far had made Sam's life in the last few weeks a policy driven nightmare.
"Yes," he replied through gritted teeth. "What else?"
"We need to take a clear stand on issues," Amy spoke up from the middle of the table. "Besides education we've been too all over the place trying to appease different members of the party. We need to show we're in control and the rest of the party will follow and stop trying to squeeze in every last whim that they may have into every bill."
"That's been difficult when every member of the Democratic party working in the House right now thinks we owe them a favor now that the education bill has passed."
"We get tough," Amy said simply. "You need to get tough."
Sam held back a sharp retort. His start to life as the deputy chief of staff had been rocky. Sam wasn't cut from the same cloth as Josh. He didn't view wrangling Senators and Congressmen on the Hill as a sport like the chief of staff did. This made the transition a struggle at times. The overwhelmed feeling he had in his stomach all those years ago when Josh had been stuck in Indiana and Sam had staffed President Bartlet had fully returned when he took this job. Slowly he was gaining more confidence, but there were still serious feelings of doubt. The last few weeks had not done nothing to help his confidence.
Sam looked up at the group and made eye contact with Donna again.
"Donna, the First Lady's approval ratings have been soaring. What do you suggest?"
Donna tried to hide a proud smile and mostly failed.
"You need the President to be putting more of his own stamp on things, people need to realize these bills are coming from him."
"Prioritize what you really want to get done now that the education bill is out of the way and schedule the President's time more accordingly," piped up Annabeth next to her.
"You say this as though the President hasn't been saddled with a war he didn't ask for," Sam snorted shortly, his temper was running on a short fuse. "It's difficult to schedule his time freely when he gets pulled into the sit room every couple hours."
Donna simply shrugged.
"You asked." Sam looked at her for a moment before turning to the group again.
"Alright, let's hear some more ideas. How do we get our numbers up? No idea is stupid, let's go."
A few staffers shot out their plans. Bram suggested more press interaction from the President. Lester explained how the administration should be more transparent and less modest about their achievements so far. Sam was busy writing something down when the room went quiet, evidently out of suggestions.
After a moment, Otto spoke up.
"We could get shot at," he suggested with a laugh. "That worked for you guys under Bartlet.
His joke received a few quiet laughs from around the table, but was otherwise met with silence. Sam, however, had gone stock still, as had Donna. Amy crossed her arms and looked at the ceiling.
"You think that's funny?" Sam practically growled to Otto. Otto sat up and took note of the sharpness of Sam's tone. He shook his head quickly. The rest of the room immediately took notice. This wasn't a Sam Seaborn they were used to.
"No, sir."
"You think we were thankful we got shot at because it boosted our approval ratings?" Sam demanded, every consonant was being emphasized as he spoke. The thin thread holding his temper together snapped fully.
"No-"
"You think while my best friend was dying with a hole in his chest, I sat there on the pavement next to a pool of his blood thinking about how our approval ratings are going to go up?"
Otto looked at a lost of what to do after a few seconds of his mouth hanging open. The rest of the room had gone completely still, watching in horror as Sam unraveled.
"Sam no, I'm-"
"I sat next to him in that ambulance, watching helplessly as the paramedics tried to keep him alive. He couldn't breathe you know," Sam continued. He was fully lost in the memory now and seemingly unable to stop. Otto was trying his hardest to disappear into his chair. "His lung collapsed and all the blood from the bullet wound had pooled in his chest. Imagine that. Watching your best friend trying his best to take a breath and not being able to."
"Sam-" He didn't hear the door open behind him.
"And then wait another 14 hours to find out if he'll live or die," Sam broke off, looking away and raising a closed fist to his mouth. "And you have to go on with your job because somebody has to keep the government running. You have to do press interviews, you have to walk around these halls acting like everything is just fine and dandy when really you just want to be anywhere but here. Not only this, but then he wakes up and we have to tell him that the PRESIDENT has been shot too. Then there's another three months of him hardly being able to walk or breathe, but hey, that would all be worth it for a boost in the polls right Otto?"
"Sam?" Sam whipped around and saw the subject of his story stood in the doorway, standing next to the current President. Josh looked pale, nervous.
"Mr. President," Sam said, heat rising to his face. Matt glanced sideways at Josh to gauge his reaction, but Josh was now distracted by the sight of Donna down the end of the table looking visibly upset.
"What the hell are you guys talking about in here?" Josh questioned Sam in a dangerous voice; his eyes never left Donna's. The longer they stared, the more Donna seemed to be able to pull herself together. The sight of Josh alive and breathing freely broke her of the horrible memories that were lodging themselves in her mind's eye.
"Wonderkid over here thought a way to raise our approval ratings would be to get shot at like you guys were in Rosslyn," Amy answered with an edge to her voice.
Otto looked mortified. Josh was still looking at Donna.
"I mean it would probably work, but I'm not a huge fan of the idea of getting shot again," Josh replied calmly as he slowly turned to face Amy.
"I'm so sorry," Otto repeated. Josh gave him a tight smile and took a quick glance around the room. He felt the tenseness radiating off everyone and tried to put them at ease.
"You volunteering to be the one to take the bullet this time?" Josh joked lightly. The room collectively let out a breath. Matt's head quirked to the side slightly as he took in his Chief of Staff. He watched as Josh put a hand on Sam's arm with a slight nod to his deputy. Matt noted the residual anger still making itself known in Sam's posture. He took a seat at the table and Sam and Josh quickly followed suit.
"So what other crappy ideas did you guys come up with?" Josh asked the room with a half smile on his face. The group filled Josh in on their other ideas, but Josh was only half listening. His gaze kept drifting back to Sam, who didn't say another word the rest of the meeting.
An hour later, Josh knocked lightly on the open door to Sam's office. His old office. Sam was turned away from the doorway, his eyes lingering on the trees just outside his window. He didn't hear Josh knock.
"Sam?"
He jumped and turned his chair.
"Hey," Sam said, adjusting his glasses.
"You okay?" Josh asked him carefully. Sam nodded his head towards the door and Josh promptly closed it behind him. He sat on the edge of one of Sam's cabinets; where Josh's blackboards used to be and patiently waited for Sam to start talking.
"They have no idea, Josh," Sam started after a while. "They have no idea what it was like."
"I know," Josh agreed quietly.
"They have no idea the fear that shook this building to its core. That's..." Sam drifted off, staring at a spot on the wall past Josh's shoulder. "That's strange to me. I've been so used to everyone in this building just understanding how that night felt."
"You know, I don't really know how that night felt," Josh said with a small smile. Sam's face crinkled sadly.
"Yeah, I guess not."
"Donna was pretty shaken up about it," Josh said quietly.
"I'm sorry," Sam said, sighing and rubbing a hand over his face. "I was just angry and I got lost... remembering. I'll apologize to her." Josh nodded.
"I'm not sure a lot of them even know I got shot," Josh said. His voice was light, practically conversational. As though their topic of conversation was about the weather or sports.
"I feel like they should."
Josh quirked his head.
"Why?"
Sam shrugged, a faraway look in his eye.
"I don't know. I guess I just feel like it's an important part of what makes you you."
Josh frowned.
"Me getting shot is what makes me me?" he looked hurt at Sam's words. Sam smiled warmly.
"No. You getting shot at while doing your job and then walking straight back into this building afterwards without a moments hesitation is what makes you you."
Josh straightened his back slightly as he readjusted his posture.
"Oh."
"Yeah."
Josh looked at Sam and smiled slightly.
"Sam, you're doing fine, you know. Don't let Lou get in your head. You were a huge part of passing that education bill."
Sam shook his head with an unamused smile.
"For every good deed, I seem to start three small fires in the wake of it," he said bitterly. When he looked up, he saw a big smile on Josh's face.
"And you wondered why I got in trouble so often," he smirked. Sam gave him a smile, but said nothing.
"Just don't take it out on everyone else if you're frustrated okay?" Josh said placating. "I know what Otto said was stupid, but let's not... y'know."
Sam nodded. "Yeah." Josh straightened up and made his way through the door.
"My door's always open, Sam," he said seriously. "You know that."
Sam nodded, a genuine smile on his lips now.
"Thanks, Josh."