As White as Blood

Chapter Fifteen

Sasori's Burden Part One

When Sasori finally came to, his anger was gone. His chest felt as hollow as a puppet's, but the ache in his head reminded him he was still alive. He tried to sit up, but in the end he had to use his own puppet strings to force his limbs to move. Perhaps he had a concussion. Once he was sitting up, his body obeyed him without force and he released his threads as he took sight of his attackers across the room.

Karura sat with Pakura in her lap, although the child was sound asleep. Her shirt was gone, but a bloodied bandage looped around her flat torso, and the redhead's eyes caught onto the sight of white around his own arm. So, he'd been stabbed after all. He flexed his arm but, although there was some pain, the damage felt minimal.

"Good morning, sunshine!" called Karura, her eagerness eerily offsetting the scene. His gaze flicked back to her and he noticed her large fan propped up beside her. She must've panicked and used it to knock him out. "The Third Kazekage himself sent me a message hawk! Isn't that super cool? His note said you were in an 'appalling mood' and that you'd probably need some company before you decided to do something 'reckless' and 'wholly unnecessary'. Man, he knows you too well! You were about to turn Pakura into a puppet! If that isn't 'wholly unnecessary' then I don't know what is, silly!" She laughed like it was some sick joke, but the ringing in his ears reminded him how real this was. "It's a good thing Asuko trusts me, or I'd be dead right now!"

He turned away and tore the sloppy bandage from his arm. The wound was deeper than he'd thought, although not very wide. Pakura had stabbed him with an unsterilized scalpel, yet Karura had simply bandaged the wound without treating it. Of course she wasn't a medical-nin like he was, but to be this bad at first-aid? He didn't say anything as he placed his palm against the angry cut and poured healing chakra into it.

Karura watched and said with a little more restraint, "I managed to stop you both from bleeding, but I guess I got too used to having you around. I can't even properly tie bandages anymore."

He might've felt humiliated by his actions, but in that moment he couldn't feel any emotion at all. There was something pleasant about it, albeit otherworldly, like he was no longer involved in the scene. Even so, he silently pulled himself towards the two girls and used his chakra to heal the incision on Pakura's chest. He finally forced his voice to work. "I wanted to become an ANBU Black Ops, but the Third denied me. I…don't like being denied."

"Why'd he deny you?"

"I told him human life has no value," he murmured quietly. He still felt distanced from the world. Even his voice, rough and raspy from his screaming, sounded far away. "He told me I'd never put the village's wellbeing over my own. I have to be constrained by missions and objectives to justify risking my life, but without an order I'd be willing to let Sunagakure burn to the ground…I hated hearing it, because it's all true."

"But it isn't true," argued Karura unexpectedly. "You do value human life. The only difference is you only value human life if you can see it, and you only see it with those who are close to you. Me, Yashamaru, Pakura, Chiyo, Rasa, Misaki and even Komushi: whether you like it or not, we all have value to you. I know you. I remember how we were raised. We dehumanise our enemy to survive, but to save yourself you've dehumanised everyone. But we've slipped through the cracks. Our lives have value, even if everyone else has none."

She said it bluntly and perfectly and she never stopped smiling as she said it.

If he'd felt anything other than nothing at that moment, he might've felt bitterness towards her. How long had she thought that about him? She was the only one who understood him, yet even then she knew so little.

Sasori finished healing the young girl's wounds but said nothing of Karura's sentiment. "He's a hypocrite. He doesn't want to be cooped up in that tiny office, he wants to be on the front lines. He misses killing. How could someone who misses killing possibly value human life?"

"Let him be a hypocrite! You're better than him! Honestly, you gotta be more careful about your temper!"

"I couldn't control it," he said as he leaned against the wall. "I'd rather feel nothing at all." His skull felt like it would split open at any moment.

From his medical pouch he fished out something to numb the pain, and Karura watched as he went about filling a sterilised syringe with the clear liquid. He buried the point in his arm and injected the bliss without hesitation. Deep down he knew there were better painkillers for treating a headache, but he wasn't in the right mind to waste time on such things. The concoction quickly set in. His body grew completely numb and all sensations of pain and touch vanished altogether.

As he sat staring at the wall with his chest hollow and his skin unfeeling, he wondered if this was how a puppet felt. No emotions, no feelings - only the sweet pool of nothingness.

His paradise was interrupted by Karura. "Think Pakura will forgive you?"

"Don't care," he answered far too honestly. "If she threatens me again, I'll kill her."

Karura exhaled and leaned her head against the redhead's shoulder. He couldn't even feel her warmth, let alone anything else. "It's a pity," she said. "You would've made an awesome ANBU Black Ops, but you'll be a better Fourth Kazekage. Maybe one day you'll let yourself remember what it's like."

"What what's like?"

"What it's like to see a world of living, breathing humans, and not one of potential puppets."

-x-

Fifteen Years Old

Even though he wasn't avoiding his Den anymore, today he was still working in Chiyo's old puppet room. He'd just finished building more replacement Crow, Salamander and Black Ant puppets against his wishes, so he was rewarding himself with more research devoted to prosthetics. The measurements he'd written down long ago buzzed in his mind, as did other measurements he'd gradually worked out through observation and estimation. Shoulder to wrist: 50cm. Wrist to the tip of the middle finger: 16cm. Width of palm: 8cm. Circumference of bicep: 34cm. Circumference of wrist: 18cm.

He'd learnt a lot while building the prosthetic arm, yet he was still waiting for the chance to test it out. As if on cue, his intended guinea pig raced through the doors to interrupt him. "Sasori!" called Komushi as he ran inside without care or consideration. "How're you doing?"

He at least had the decency to stop running when he saw how busy Sasori was working, but even that didn't stop his mouth for long.

"Granny Chiyo told me the last puppets you made were a huge hit!" Of course they were, for she'd actually asked for something different. True, each time he redesigned a puppet it was improved. The joints became smoother, the craftmanship finer, the weapons deadlier, but it ruined his art. "Some day I want to be a cool Shinobi like you! Your puppets get so much praise…"

Sasori was a Jonin while poor little Komushi would forever be a Genin. He had a headband, but with the war his missions had slowed to a trickle and the only work he could get was as Chiyo's lap dog. It was fitting work, nevertheless, and the more Sasori saw him the more he could take note of his measurements.

The redhead said nothing. He heard the Genin dart around his shoulder to get a better look at what he was building, although his movements were erratic. "Are you even listening? It's me! Komushi! Komushi has come to see you! Answer me!"

Komushi did the stupidest thing he could possibly do: he touched him.

His hand grabbed Sasori's shoulder and the piece he'd been working with flew from his hands in surprise. He turned his body to automatically attack the 'friend', but his brain hurriedly reminded him of Komushi's importance and instead he caught the piece before it hit the floor. Sasori stared at it as he recomposed himself. Right, he couldn't kill the annoyance just yet. He was Chiyo's spy. If he wanted to get rid of him, he'd have to do it carefully, and he'd already mapped out how he was going to do it…

But first, he had to finish the arm.

Successfully composed, he calmly turned back to the desk and resumed working on the small joints.

Throughout this, Komushi had remained silent, as if he'd known just how stupid he'd been, but he didn't stay quiet for long. "Hey, I'm sorry," he said at last, "I didn't mean to do that. You're just always so silent. It kinda makes me feel like you treat these puppets better than me." He paused, as if expecting Sasori to take the bait, but he didn't. Even so, Komushi brightened up. "Oh well, guess I'll just wait for hell to freeze over! Maybe you'll talk to me then! By the way, I had a message from Granny Chiyo. She wants those puppets that she ordered sooner-"

With the topic now shifted to duty, Sasori pointed to the hanging puppets he'd already finished. "The Crow, Black Ant and Salamander puppets are finished to her specifications." The arm was nearing completion, so he didn't stop working for even a moment.

"So these are the new models?" Komushi approached them curiously. They looked sleeker than his original creations, although he was happy enough to upgrade his own whenever he could: this was the only benefit of wholly recreating a puppet over and over. "That was quick!"

"I don't like to keep people waiting," he instantly responded.

"Yeah, I know."

Sasori ran his chakra threads through the prosthetic to test the finger joints, knowing the joints would have to be light and easily adjustable if they were to ever be used by someone without expert chakra manipulation. He tested out several different hand movements and they functioned well, although there was something still annoyingly mechanic about the way the fingers moved.

"Woah, that's amazing!" Komushi moved his own hand forward and tried to mimic the movements of the prosthetic. "They look so human!"

Sasori finally looked at Komushi, but his eyes only saw his hand. He mentally ran through the measurements of the fingers: 5.5cm, 7cm, 7.5cm, 7cm, 6.5cm. It all matched up perfectly, so how did Komushi move his clumsy fingers so naturally while Sasori's careful masterpiece was flawed? He watched the way his hand moved with interest and resentment. Komushi clenched his fist and Sasori finally looked away.

"Oh," breathed the idiot, "I almost forgot! She also wanted to inquire about the poison for these puppets." Sasori immediately offered him a piece of paper with the requested information neatly scrawled across it. Komushi took it and instantly read through it while his face tightened in concern. "These medicinal plants are quite rare. You really want to make a poison outta these?" Sasori nodded, his eyes now studying Komushi's face. If all went well, that small list in the Genin's hands would spell the end of these annoying one-sided conversations.

Perhaps, with Komushi gone, Chiyo would go directly to her grandson. They still lived in the same house, after all.

"You'll need permission," he finally said with some reluctance, but then he bravely brightened up. "Okay! I, the amazing Komushi, will be your negotiator! Just give me some time and I'm sure we can work something out with Chiyo!"

"I don't want to wait."

In that moment, his impatience paid off. "Then let's not wait! Come on, let's go!" He hurried towards the door and the redhead was stunned.

It was just that easy for Komushi to go see Chiyo? Nowadays it was difficult for Sasori to see her without an appointment. They lived together, but their paths never crossed. Even so, this moronic boy could see Sasori's grandmother whenever he wanted, even with the war on.

They walked through the house Sasori had been 'raised' in and made their way to Chiyo's room. Just seeing it raised silent alarms in his head. He wasn't supposed to go to her room. She had important work to do. Work that was related to the war. Work that was far more important than he was. He was not allowed to knock on the door, unless it was a life-or-death emergency, but here was the idiot Komushi, running to it without a care in the world.

"Granny Chiyo!" the brunette called as he knocked on the door. "It's Komushi!"

He opened the door before she even responded, and there Chiyo was, turning around on Komushi's account. "What is it?" she asked with only a hint of annoyance. "Did you relay my message to-"

The redhead stepped into sight and her face turned cold. The war was important. Sasori wasn't.

"Granny Chiyo," said the one boy in the room who wasn't actually her grandson, "Sasori has a request."

"What for?" she asked as she stood, her voice weighted by even more annoyance. Really? She was more annoyed by Sasori's presence than Komushi's? In response, the brunette handed her the slip of paper and she read it over without reaction. "I can't say much about it without a proper blending ratio…" She looked up at Sasori.

He stared straight ahead, his face as blank and impassive as a puppet. His entire plan relied on her accepting the poison's creation without the blending ratio. They were in a time of war, so what did it really matter if they made a poison she didn't know how to cure? It would only be used on the enemy, and they wouldn't need to know how to cure an enemy.

"However," she said after careful consideration, "since it's you I'll allow it. I'll personally clear it with the Pharmaceutical Division." Before either of them could respond, she turned her back to them. "I'm very busy right now. Leave me to work."

They hadn't seen each other in a long time, but that was all she said.

-x-

Sasori and Komushi walked down the street together. The redhead didn't really know why he wasn't continuing to work on the prosthetic arm when it was so close to completion, but after his run in with Chiyo he needed to clear his head. The Genin had been quick to go with him.

"You're so lucky!" Komushi said with envious glee. "You're only fifteen, but you're already a pillar of the village! I bet Granny Chiyo is super proud of you!"

As Sasori walked he stared at the ground. His chest felt like someone had hollowed it out again. He was nothing more than a machine with the sole purpose of building weapons for war and murder. Chiyo had never seen him as anything more than that. Besides, she would never be proud of him, for Sasori was faulty. The Third had made that perfectly clear: Sasori was a faulty machine.

"Are you even listening to me?" Komushi strolled in front, his arms folded behind his head and his actions carefree. "Granny Chiyo is always so worried about you." Of course she would be worried, for the Third believed he was faulty. Sasori was traitorous. "I can't wait for people to acknowledge just how amazing a Shinobi I am, just like you are with your puppets!" He stopped and spun around, and even Sasori stopped in his tracks. "My parents still treat me like a kid, and they even tell me I'm not suited to be a Shinobi. But they'll see! I've been given the task of border security! I mean, it's just guard duty with a Genin squad, but so long as I prove myself…"

Sasori stared at him knowingly. Border security, just like he and Rasa. As a Genin his patrol area would be far closer to the village than what Sasori's was, and he'd have the three fellow Genin and a Jonin with him. His thoughts were disturbed by a sudden voice.

"Komushi!" called an older woman as she stormed over to the duo. "Why haven't you come home yet? I've been so worried!" She grabbed her son by the shoulders and shook him around while the redhead watched on.

"Mum! Wait! You're embarrassing me!" Komushi wrenched himself away. "I'm going on border security missions soon, so you can't keep treating me like a little kid!"

She laughed and grabbed him by the arm again. "Honey, you can forget all about missions!" She managed to lift her son and proceeded to carry him away. "I plan to take care of you for the rest of my life!"

Sasori watched as he was taken away. The hollowness disappeared. A mixture of emotions roiled inside him, far too many for his liking. What was it Karura had told him? He saw a world of potential puppets, not one of living, breathing humans. He'd taught himself to dehumanise everyone he encountered, yet he struggled to dehumanise those he knew personally.

So then, what humanised a person? A sense of humour, a loving family, a belief in friendship and determination? He had humanised Komushi.

But Karura was wrong in one regard. It was because he humanised Komushi that he decided to put his plan into action. He was a living, breathing human who had slipped through the cracks in Sasori's defence, and for that reason he would become True Art.

-x-

Sasori surveyed the group through one of his rat puppets. It was after dark, but his sight had adjusted and he was easily able to sense the chakra signatures of the four Genin, although the Jonin with them was more difficult to distinguish. The only one he recognised was Komushi and he was thankful he had several tonnes of sand blocking out the sound of his voice. No doubt the idiot was rattling on about something unnecessary.

He had to think carefully on how he'd do this. Komushi knew his puppets, but for this to work he had to never find out he was behind the attack. Even the timing had to be perfect. He'd found a blind spot in the surrounding patrols, a miniscule amount of time where someone could slip through without being noticed. Of course he was already inside, but if he wanted to keep suspicion away he had to make it possible for an enemy shinobi to have got through.

The redhead had to be quick too, for although he and Rasa dispensed any impending threats, these Shinobi were tasked with sending up a signal and defending for as long as they could. He had to do this without alerting anyone of his presence.

Still, he didn't need to think out anything too carefully. He had to hit the Jonin – the only one with a signal flare - with something that would paralyse him, then he could use a smokescreen laced with a sleep-inducer to knock the four Genin out. No, wrong order. Damn he was impatient.

As soon as they entered the blind spot, he sent Cephalo beneath the sand to attack. The smokescreen launched first and the Nonapus puppet attacked almost simultaneously as it drove several barbs coated in paralysis poison into the Jonin's body.

The four Genin tried to escape the cloud, but they were too inexperienced to stop themselves breathing in the 'harmless' smoke. Before they could leave, their bodies dropped like flies.

Sasori surfaced Roan quickly and used its strong tail to lift the unconscious victims and store them inside its large body. Everything had gone perfectly. He rid all trace of the smokebomb and resealed Cephalo as he made his escape inside the scorpion puppet, even if it was very cramped.

He smiled a little as he surveyed his victims while he escaped. He would turn the Jonin into his seventeenth human puppet, Komushi would lose his right arm, and the other three would return to the village 'unharmed'.

-x-

He'd taken them all back to his Den. Ever since he'd nearly killed her, Pakura rarely said anything to him anymore, not that he cared. She'd never been able to use the Jutsu again, so he'd deemed the experiment a failure and had scrapped it, although he stayed on edge around her just in case.

Komushi would remain unconscious this entire time, while he'd dosed the three younger Genin with his paralysis concoction. They, at least, had regained consciousness already. The redhead carefully propped them against the wall and although their eyes were tearing up, he filled them with eyedrops anyway. These three had a show to see.

On his desk was the Jonin, their Sensei. Komushi had probably demanded to be put on patrol duty, so they'd shoehorned him into another team. By listening to the annoying loudmouth, they'd sealed their fates.

While Komushi was around his age, these three were about eight-years-old. At their age he'd been forced to kill Daichi, but since then the rules had changed. They no longer pitted teammate against teammate, but just thinking of the change made him feel sick, as if Daichi's sacrifice had been for nothing.

"You're so lucky," he said to the three while they stared back with unblinking eyes. "I'm going to show you how to create a Human Puppet." He used his threads to tilt their heads so they could see their Sensei. "But don't worry. If you're good, then you'll have the chance to continue living. You three will become my Sleeper Agents."

Yes, another Jutsu he'd been preparing for some time: the 'Memory-Concealing Manipulative Sand Technique', or just 'Sleeper Jutsu' for short. With it, Sasori could seal away a person's memory by inserting a small needle into the memory centre of their brain. With this he could have Sleeper Agents in every country, spies who'd gather information without even being aware.

He'd amass a collection of living puppets under the sole control of Sasori of the Red Sand.

Unfortunately, the others he'd tried it on had perished shortly after, but at least they'd made good puppets. This Jonin would be his seventeenth, but he was sure he'd perfected the Sleeper Jutsu this time. These three Genin would make for better living puppets, at least for now.

"You won't remember any of this until I want you to. When that times comes, you are to do exactly what I say, or else you will endure the same operation as your Sensei here. He's merely paralysed, like you are, and isn't under the influence of any painkillers. He can feel every ounce of pain he's about to experience."

With that said, Sasori stripped the man and took up his scalpel. He didn't hesitate in making the first incision as he sliced the breathing man open. The three children were forced to watch without the ability to look away or to even shut their eyes. Komushi remained asleep throughout.

-x-

Sasori sealed his seventeenth Human Puppet inside a scroll and waved it before the eyes of the children. "Ever betray me, and the same shall happen to you." Their eyes were empty pools and broken minds. Good. "I'm about to put a needle inside your heads. With it, you'll forget all about this, but if I ever dispel it you are to come to me immediately and do everything I request. Your freewill will be gone. You'll be nothing more than a living, breathing puppet."

He picked up the girl first and set her down on the bloodstained table.

"When you wake up, you'll all claim you were kidnapped by a female Shinobi from Iwagakure, someone from the Explosion Corps." He recalled the face of a woman with long blonde hair and blue eyes he'd met on Mother Island. "Tell them she took your Sensei and was about to take you too, but Komushi got in the way. She cut off his arm but panicked and let you all live. You did your best to tend the wound, but you're not medical-nin and could only do so much. You wandered the desert with your unconscious comrade, but you all eventually blacked out from exhaustion."

Sasori picked up one of the small needles he'd prepared earlier and opened her left eye as wide as he could.

-x-

All three sat on his operating table now, the needles in place and all damage healed. Sasori made several quick hand signs and finalised the ninjutsu by saying, "Memory-Concealing Manipulation." He made a half Ram seal with his left hand and pressed his other hand against the girl's face: thumb and pinkie on her cheeks and his remaining three fingers on her forehead. It was the same five prints he painted on his face for every mission, the paint he'd worn with pride for years. Chakra coursed through his fingertips, through the girl's head, and into the small needle embedded in her brain. "Activate."

The seal triggered and Sasori's Jutsu triggered. Her gaze became unfocused as she lost consciousness, and he shut her eyes as he moved onto the second candidate.

Their survival on deactivation was dependent on many factors, mostly depending on who broke the seal. Many things could go wrong. If Sasori removed the Jutsu, there would be a 5% death rate, and a separate 15% chance of the victim going mad over time.

If some other medical-nin removed it, there was an 11% death rate, and a 49% chance the victim would go mad, although this changed depending on the skill of the medical-nin.

Sasori wondered about the statistics of survival for someone with two needles. The rate of survival would be absurdly low, even if Sasori broke the seals. There would not only be an 18% chance of death, but there would be an added 80% chance the spy would go insane, leaving only a slim chance of them surviving with both their life and lucidness intact. Sasori didn't need an army of dead or useless spies!

He'd never insert more than one needle inside someone's mind…Ever…

-o-

Okay, maybe I should've listened to the advice of my younger self. I was naïve and petty, but at least I was logical and, well, not blinded by rage…

But dammit, that Brat pushed me too far! It's not my fault I ended up sticking another needle inside his head! It was his fault, not mine!

…Sorry, he's always brings out the worst in me.

I should've listened to my younger self. I shouldn't have inserted a second needle inside Deidara's head just to make him forget things I didn't want to confront.

What I did to him was a mistake, and even in death it shall forever be my burden.

-o-

He dumped the four Genin in a place they would be easily found. Komushi's right arm was gone, cut cleanly midway along his bicep. The cut was intentionally crude and he'd carefully tended the wound in a manner that was both effective yet amateur, only using the medical supplies the Genin had brought with them on patrol. He'd savoured butchering off the limb, although he wished he'd been able to do it while Komushi was awake and aware - he would've loved to hear the screams.

Still, he returned home normally that night as if nothing had happened. Chiyo, of course, was nowhere to be seen.

Sasori reached his room and collapsed on his bed, feeling the exhaustion of the day sweep through his limbs. In the morning he'd discover just how successful he'd been, but for now he didn't even care. Tomorrow he'd find out the names of the three Genin, would offer to 'build' Komushi a prosthetic arm, would finalise the blade in the palm, get to test out just how effective his poisons could be, and he'd line up his next human puppet. It was going to get busy.

A long time ago he'd thought it more difficult to kill an enemy than a friend, but as he lay there waiting impatiently for sleep, he knew he'd been wrong:

An enemy knows an enemy from the start, but a friend has no idea until it's too late.

Dear Reader,

Welcome to the most changed chapter so far in the remaster as I squeeze Komushi, a character that wasn't even in the original story, into his rightful place! It's a long chapter, nearly 5000 words, even though 3 scenes were removed: one of Sasori on patrol thinking to himself about Asuko (the person, not the plant), one of Sasori talking briefly to Pakura and then explaining about how he's going to kidnap some kids for the jutsu, and him talking to the 3 Genin at the end of the chapter.

Keep your eyes on Sasori and his use of painkillers in the remaster as well, cause I plan to make it more of a thing this time around!

Sasori's pettiness levels are through the roof. Must come with his age. All of the Komushi scenes in this chapter (aside from the attack and stuff) are from the anime (episode 319), which is actually a pretty good episode, even if the art on Sasori (especially his pupils) goes kinda weird from time to time.

Yeah, that's pretty much it… Comments/Reviews make me kill Komushi faster!

Next Chapter: Hiruko's Hammer

Yours Faithfully,

Woolfy