Hello everyone,

I know I have been absent for a while. Mostly because my life has been crazy. This year I worked almost full time, defended my Ph.D. thesis and had my second boy. Things are starting to calm down a bit so I decided to post another story. I have been writing this for a while but am still editing the last few chapters. I haven't had the time to read through it in one sitting like I normally do, so it might be a little fragmented here and there, but I hope you like it none the less.

Chapter 1

DPOV

I haven't been cold many times in my life. Growing up in Siberia would do that to you. It was like everyone born there automatically got resistance to cold ingrained in them the moment they took their first breath. The Montana climate was almost like spring to me. We had spring and summer in Siberia, just not a lot of it. I had stood in the snow with nothing but shorts. I had been in blazing snow storms walking home. I had never felt the cold. But I felt it now. It was a bone breaking cold that seeped into your very being.

I suspected it had something to do with the blood leaving my body and being sucked up by a Strigoi like a damn Slurpee.

His fangs were securely attached to my neck and although the endorphins had entered my body leaving me mostly numb, I could still feel the sting at my neck. Somehow my body wanted to experience something real one more time before I would die. Because I knew I would die. I knew it by the cold that entered my body, I knew it by the hold the Strigoi had on my body and I knew it by my heart rate slowing down.

I had accepted the fate. I didn't want to die. I didn't want to think about what would happen to my body. I also didn't want to think about the people I would leave behind. But the reality of my current state left little wiggle room for fantasies. In a few moments, I would leave this world for the next. It was just something that was inevitable like the day making way for the night. And as sure as the moon would rise each night I knew I would not be alive by the next dawn.

For a moment the Strigoi stopped draining me, detaching from my neck and I felt a small moment of reprieve, no piercing fangs and no increasing cold. My mind was hazed and I was drifting. I was at the point where I couldn't feel anything anymore. Somehow I hated the numbness but was grateful at the same time. There wasn't any pain anymore, and I wasn't feeling the cold anymore either. There was a sense of peace is this limbo place, where the world just stopped existing, where I stopped to exist.

I heard an ear piercing scream somewhere in the distance. I knew that voice and I knew what her scream embodied. Her screams were getting further and further away from me. And it wasn't because I was slipping, no, it was because she was getting further away from me. By her protests, I didn't think it was her choice. But it was for the best. I didn't want Rose to see me like this. I didn't want her to join me in death, which would happen if she stayed. So whoever was making her run, I would be eternally grateful.

I could hear the pain in her voice as she accepted that she couldn't save me. She was desperate, grieving and heartbroken. And it was because I wouldn't come back to her. I imagined her face stained with the tears I could hear breaking in her voice and it broke something inside of me too.

I felt the pain returning and my body feeling cold again. My heart rate increased and I could feel a small sliver of life returning to me. Rose's scream had jolted me back a bit and I knew I had to fight, fight to somehow get back to her. The universe was giving me a single moment of deciding I wanted to live a life with her or die.

I was able to move, just slightly, but I was moving. The Strigoi had stopped for a moment and was preparing to feed me his blood. Although the prospect of being turned was terrifying I was grateful he had thought of turning me, otherwise, he would have drained me in one go. At least this gave him a moment to pause. My hand twitched at my side and brushed against a stake. The stake felt warm against my skin. Strange, the metal from the stake had always felt cold in my hand, but now the temperature of my hand was lower than the stake. It didn't matter, I still wrapped my hands firmly around the warm steel and waited for my moment.

The Strigoi and I were the only ones left in this cavern. I could hear others further in the cave, but they were far away. They seemed to be feeding.

When the Strigoi held his wrist for me to drink in order to turn me, I twisted slightly and rammed the stake in his chest with as much force as I could. The surprise on his face was almost comical. His eyes became lifeless and he fell half on top of me.

I heard footsteps coming from the caverns further into the cave and saw the Strigoi quickly come closer. I closed my eyes and played dead. In my current state, it really wasn't that hard. My body and that of my want-to-be-sire didn't stand out amongst the many more that had fallen that day. If they had stopped and listened they would have heard my heartbeat, as faint and slow as it was, it was still there. But they didn't listen. They seemed in a hurry to get out of the caves. Why were they running from the caves? They weren't, I realized, they were running towards the Guardians. The sun had set and they were in pursuit of prey. I could only hope Rose would make it across the ward line in time. Her screaming had been out of earshot a few moments ago. I prayed it would be enough.

I took a few deep breathes but I couldn't get rid of the haze that had clouded my vision. My neck was torn open and I could feel the steady stream of blood oozing out of me. I had also sustained a few nasty injuries. One of them was two or three ribs that were broken and making it hard to breathe. The other was a broken arm, and I think I had internal bleedings around my kidney. All three could kill me if I didn't get up. The blackness was trying to consume me. But being unconscious and dying here, were the same thing. If I lost consciousness now, I would bleed out before I had a chance to wake up again. I imagined they would send a search party in daylight to recover the bodies of the lost guardians, students, and teachers. But it would be too late for me. I doubted the Strigoi would come back. After they would realize that their prey was safe and sound behind wards again, they will vacate the area.

But the fog was growing around my field of vision and I couldn't do anything to stop it. I was trying to make my peace with my destiny again when I imagined big brown eyes filled with tears as I heard that soul-crushing scream emanate from her. I opened my eyes and suddenly my field of vision was clear as day. I dragged my body into a sitting position, and then I stood up using the cave wall as support. I moved slowly towards the exit. All I needed was to get to her, to Rose, to Roza. It was the single thought that my mind was capable of. One word kept echoing in the confines of my mind. 'Roza'.

It was dark outside, and my eyes were overrun by blood, some of it mine, some of it not. I barely saw anything, but I didn't need to. My body knew where I wanted to go, where I needed to go. My heart was pulling me towards her. She was calling out to me, like a siren.

It must have taken me hours to get there. My body dragging towards the gates. How my body even functioned with so little blood still within its boundaries, even if the steady stream of blood from my neck had never ceased, I didn't know. I didn't care, my body didn't care. All it cared about was making it back to her.

I crossed the Academy gates but I didn't stop. Some people were staring at me, but they didn't stop me. I suppose you don't see a dead man walking every day. I did see a Guardian radio someone, but he made no attempts to stop me. I can only imagine what I looked like. I dragged my body further. Rational thought would have led me straight to the infirmary, but I wasn't capable of rational thought. Only of the single word on repeat in my mind. 'Roza'. I didn't turn towards her dorm. I knew somehow she wasn't there. I turned towards the church. I could feel the pull of her becoming stronger, my body seemed attached to her with an elastic band. I had stretched it as far as it would go and now it wanted to return back to its relaxed position which was right next to her body.

I opened the door to the church. I heard her voice before I entered. She was screaming to someone, sobbing as she did it.

"You'd let him die? You wouldn't do this? You wouldn't do this for me? I would do anything for you. You know that. And you won't do this for me?"

"I'm so sorry, Rose. I'm so, so sorry. I …" I heard Vasilisa say but stop as Rose had lost all interest in Vasilisa. I saw the moment she noticed me. Her hand covered her mouth and for a second she was frozen in time and space. I used my last strength and moved further towards her.

The last words out of my mouth were "Roza", as I finally succumbed to the blissful darkness of unconsciousness.

RPOV

I was begging Lissa, Why couldn't she understand? Why wouldn't she do this for me? I heard her say she was sorry. Her voice filled with realization just how much Dimitri meant to me. But I didn't hear her anymore. I saw Dimitri in the doorway of the church.

He looked like he was barely alive. But he had swung those doors open with great force. He looked at me and I knew he had come here because I was here. How he had tracked me in his state I didn't know. I felt the tears at the edge of my eyes. For hours I had believed him gone. I hadn't known how to take my next breath in a world where he didn't exist. Ironically, I was having trouble breathing now as he made his way towards me. The effort it took him to simply walk told me how much he must have struggled to get here. Yet I couldn't meet him. I was nailed to the spot, to overwhelmed with the realization that he was still alive.

When he was close enough for his satisfaction he breathed out a single word, 'Roza' before I saw reality leave his eyes and he was lost to unconsciousness. He was already unconscious before he actually fell, so he went straight down. I barely had time to catch him before his face would have hit the marble tile floor of the church. I turned him slightly and cradled him in my lap. I brushed some of his hair out of his face. His neck was overrun with coagulated blood, but I could also see a small trinkle of bright red still making its way through the ripped skin in his neck. The injury in itself wasn't much, but I doubt he had much blood left in his body. He looked so pale, deadly pale.

"Oh God Comrade. I was so worried. Please hang on. You can't come back to me to check out now. I won't let you. Please live. For me."

My tears mingled with the blood on his face and landing on the tile below. I felt his wrist and was glad there was still a steady beating of his heart even if it was faint.

Lissa sat down next to me. She put her hands just above his neck and I could see the torn flesh knit itself together as the wound closed and the bleeding stopped. I felt the magic vicariously and was slightly jealous that Lissa had been able to heal him and give him that relief where I could not, but I was grateful all the same. I knew he needed healing and fast.

Next she moved to his stomach, although I couldn't detect any injuries there. I had seen his arm though and I was surprised he had been able to use it to open the doors of the church at all. But I could feel the hot and cold sensation through the bond as she was healing something on the inside.

Her magic was fading and after a few more seconds she pulled away and was breathing heavily.

"I am all out, Rose. I have no magic left. But I healed the most critical of his injuries, his neck and he had an internal injury. It stops him from bleeding out. But you have to get him to the infirmary, he has lost a lot of blood and that is not something I can heal so easily."

I was trying very hard to understand her words. My body had to endure too many emotional rides today. From the adrenaline rushes of the attack and the rescue mission (not to mention a certain love making session a few hours before), to the deep melancholy of my shattered heart the last few hours, to seeing him alive just now and my heart nearly bursting at the seams, I was utterly and thoroughly exhausted.

But I suppose sleep would have to wait. I directed one of the students to warn the nearest guardian and arrange a stretcher. It took them less than a minute to get there, apparently someone had already seen him walk across campus but had been too stunned to stop him. At least the infirmary had already been alerted. They placed his limp body on the stretcher and hurried him towards the infirmary. Lissa and I were close behind.

When they took him into the trauma room, I instinctively followed him, but I was told to wait outside.

"I am not leaving him." The guardian that had obscured my passage recoiled back at the intensity of my statement. There might have been a bit of darkness that had come through. With Lissa's healing there was enough to go around.

But the Guardian didn't move. I was about to make him when slender but strong pale arms wrapped around my waist and lifted me up and placed me a few feet away in the waiting room.

"Calm down Little Dhampir. They can't work on him if you are in the way."

Adrian had joined us and I looked at him questionably.

"I heard some screams from students saying Guardian Belikov had come back a Strigoi. I can only imagine what he must have looked like. Seeing as the wards are back online, I thought this was the most likely place he would end up."

I gave a small nod towards Adrian, indicating he could let me go and that I understood why I had to wait.

"Sit down Little Dhampir, let me get you something to eat or drink. I know you haven't had anything all day."

I nodded even if it only gave me something to do. I was pacing the room. I was exhausted, but I was wired too. I couldn't leave this room before I knew that Dimitri would be alright. I knew his odds were better now then what I had believed a few minutes ago when I thought he lay lifeless in the cave.

I was pulling at my hair trying to give my hands something to do. What if I lost him now? Could the universe be so cruel? To bring him back to me only to take him again?

"Rose?"

I knew what she wanted to ask. She was taking in my obvious disheveled state at the sight of my mentor nearly dying. I could feel through the bond the million questions she had about Dimitri and I. I saw her go through so many memories, seeing them in a new light now that she knew what I felt for him. But the questions died on her lips. She seemed to realize that right now, might not be the right time to ask them.

"Lissa, why don't you go to your dorm and get some rest, I can tell you are exhausted. I will stay with Rose."

She looked from Adrian to me and back, then nodded, turned around and left. I could feel anger and confusion through the bond. She was wondering why I hadn't told her. I could already feel the tendrils of darkness pulling at her, making her insecurities towards me worse. I knew by morning she would probably be pissed beyond believe, but tonight she could deal with her darkness all on her own. I had no more room in my body for any other sensation, emotion or bodily reaction.

I sat down in the chair next to Adrian. I put my head in my hands and sobbed quietly. I felt his arms snake around me and he pulled me closer.

"It is going to be okay, little Dhampir. He is going to be fine."

"I thought I lost him Adrian. I might still lose him. I don't know what I would have done if he hadn't come back from that cave."

He squeezed my arms a moment before he pulled back and took my head in his hands, his palms cupping my face.

"You would have survived."

I nodded, but I wasn't convinced. I hadn't felt very alive these past few hours. I was grateful I wouldn't have to find an answer on what I would have done if he had died, or worse if he had been turned.

I leaned into Adrian and let him comfort me. I actually found him comforting too. He was the only one who knew what Dimitri meant to me and how close I had come to let his death tear me into a thousand pieces. The rest just saw a student morning for her mentor.

Adrian had gotten me a drink and a snack and I obediently took it, even if I didn't taste a thing, but at least my body seemed happy it had gotten something after hours of neglect.

I didn't know how long we had sat there, but eventually Dr. Olendski came and talked to me.

I stood up and saw a wry smile on her face. I hoped it wasn't bad news.

"He lost a lot of blood and he has several bone fractures. The princess had healed an internal bleeding and managed the close the wound at his neck. He was minutes away from death when he came in. I honestly don't know how he survived with the amount of blood he lost, but he did. It took ten units of blood, but we have him stabilized. We repaired the fracture in his arm and snapped his ribs back into place. It will be a while before he wakes up and even longer before he is okay, but I do believe that Guardian Belikov will make a full recovery."

I nearly cried and fell to my knees praising some God I had never believed in before. But seeing as he managed to do the impossible and the church was kind of a hint, I might have to attend regular services after this.

"Thank you. Can I see him?"

She looked me over for a few seconds. I knew she wanted to say, he should rest and I should do the same, that he was too weak for visitors, but she changed her mind and directed me towards him.

He was lying on a hospital bed. His legs were bent at the knee and his head was almost touching the top. He was too big to fit in this bed, yet he looked so small right then. All that amazing godliness he always exuded, all that raw strength and power had left him in the church and I saw him now as a broken man. He was hooked up to many machines and an IV drip was hanging off of a pole providing him with much-needed nutrients and fluids. He was still very pale but he looked a little better. The blood had been washed from his face and neck and he looked less like a tiger had mauled him. It was an improvement over a few hours ago before they took him in, but he still looked like hell.

I walked over to the side of the bed. He was slightly to the right of the bed, so I climbed in on the left. I lay down on my side facing him. I wasn't touching him other than my hand brushing his. But I needed to be close to him. I needed to hear his heartbeat as I listened a few inches from his chest. I needed to see the steady rise and fall from his chest even if it was attached with stickers to a machine and he had a tube in his nose.

I closed my eyes and felt the exhaustion take my body. I was asleep in seconds, his heartbeat the sweetest lullaby.