Kurapika wanted.

When he stopped to think about it, about why he came here, why he stayed even after learning Chrollo was unchangeable… he still wanted. He wanted something decisive all the same: he wanted to finally be free.

Kurapika looked to the other man sleeping lightly beside him, head rested against the window and face soft and lax. Chrollo was so young. His hair was scrunched up against the glass but the dark strands were thick and soft-looking, pliant to the touch. He didn't make for much of a mass murderer, he looked too young to do such a thing. He looked like a recent college graduate. The man was clearly driven, sure, charming, intelligent, easily made for great things… but he didn't appear as someone who would allocate all his talents to become a lowly thief. He looked to be above that. It was real shame. Kurapika knew by now that the man beside him was childish beyond compare, ironically innocent, if the way he approached death was to be accounted for. He wasn't what he first thought when he imagined his clan's killer. He wasn't so… malicious. What the Spider had done to his clan didn't even matter for him anymore, Chrollo didn't even remember the event so closely, to him it wasn't anything special.

And Kurapika had no idea how to face himself with that.

He had no counter. He hadn't even considered it. He had this image that Chrollo was this evil villain from his nightmares only to find that the man was close enough to his age, must've been when he completed the terrible act. Chrollo Lucifer was from a place like Ryuusegai, to add. Not that that excused him, nothing could, but it added to the complexity, only making him more confused.

He had no clue what to do.

All Kurapika knew was what he dreamed of. Desperately. He remembered Chrollo's line about the freedom he got from the removal of his nen, the opportunity to finally focus on his clan's eyes. Even if the thought of absolution was tainted by the man, Kurapika still wanted of the same, now thought of it obsessively.

He didn't wish to have his world revolve around the other man anymore. Chrollo already took too much. If there was anything he wanted, it was something for himself, something the Spider leader couldn't take.

Kurapika's eyes followed along those dark strands, falling onto a peaceful, handsome face. He… he wanted a decision made, he thought. He knew it vague to say aloud in his head, and he berated himself that it got him nowhere, that the words felt slightly stupid. But he couldn't think of anything else. Kurapika wished for no more mistakes, and the flash of Gon and Killua captured by the Troupe came to mind.

No. Kurapika wished for something more. He allowed himself to stare at the other man to his quiet content, observing him in full as much as he could without having to explain anything… so that he could learn to understand. Kurapika felt the emotion swirl and swell bright within him.

If he ever had the luxury to look back, all he wanted was of no regret.

Kurapika watched when Chrollo stirred softly and knew that he was asking for too much.

…

"Did they suffer?" he heard himself ask. The man had come back with a paper tray of train food, complete with a cup of coffee; for him. He didn't particularly want to know the answer, he knew he was picking a fight somewhere in the back of his mind… but he needed it, he needed to know if he was ever able to move on. He could see Chrollo think the same thoughts he was thinking, watching him, looking down at him carefully.

Chrollo Lucifer, however, never cared. He never hesitated at the threat of someone else becoming hurt from his actions. Kurapika capitalized on that fact, utilized it currently.

Chrollo wouldn't blunt his words.

The man didn't even react to the serious question he challenged him with, despite it being out of the blue.

"Yes."

Kurapika thought he could feel his blood freeze. He already knew the answer to the question he was asking, but hearing it, from a man like Chrollo, hearing the words so honest and blankly given and calm unwavering… the chill crept along his bones like a spider, etching a familiar reality into his mind.

This man was the same man from his nightmares.

Kurapika didn't know how he was so muted. How he let Chrollo move past him, return to his seat. How he placidly accepted the cup that was for him, and watched as he set up a table for himself.

"But only enough to turn their eyes red," Chrollo added lightly, conversationally. "It didn't take much. You are a sensitive people."

Holy shit, he thought quietly.

He stared at the man in complete, novel horror.

Before he could react, the man continued.

Chrollo commented softly, a quiet awe in his voice. "I always thought that that was a good thing. Admirable. I didn't think such beautiful humans exist."

Honest to god, Kurapika tried to roll with it. He tried not to get mad. His words struggled to leave him in a controlled manner; inside, he was screaming. "And what are you… not-human?" he forced out the question.

Chrollo smirked as if he knew of his little difficulty.

"Maybe."

He hated him.

The Spider leader leaned back in his chair, closing his eyes in thought, swept in the memory. Kurapika felt personally it was a bit too morbid to be reminiscing of his clan's massacre while so peaceful looking. Chrollo added; for context. "They had defended until their last breaths. They didn't run or betray one another. You truly were a warrior race. It was commendable; beautiful."

He really shouldn't have asked.

"You think the tragedy of it all makes the eyes more valuable," his voice was thin ice.

He didn't know why he opened his mouth. He shouldn't have continued this doomed trash of a conversation.

Chrollo smiled at him proudly, warmly.

"But it does," he said, the light clear in his voice. Chrollo was focused on his hands, he unwrapped his food. "You think people don't know the story of what happened? It isn't the color that they want. It's the idea," he explained.

Kurapika frowned, deeply.

"Is that why you take things?" was all that he could feasibly come up with.

Chrollo opened his eyes to look at him. When he saw his face he shrugged.

"Hm. Maybe. I don't know. I don't think you should be giving me the credit. I don't really care all that much; I'm not that deep."

I hate him.

Chrollo chuckled at the raw disgust in his face and Kurapika glowered.

He explained further, totally unprompted.

"The Spider takes. We don't care about price." Chrollo said with meaning.

He tried to maintain control of the conversation. He sniped at the man because he had no idea how to respond. "So I was right. You're a kleptomaniac."

Get some help.

Chrollo's lips twitched like he could read his mind. "If you want to see us like that, it's your choice."

Choice?

He turned the foreign concept over in his mind.

There was no damn choice, he concluded. The Spider leader was just lying to him. Kurapika waited for the man to explain.

At the pause, Chrollo smiled.

His smile fell a little, lost in memory.

"No one does it for the fame or the money, Kurapika," he said.

The boy breathed in air shallowly. At his words, he felt the shift. He watched him speak while the rest of the world faded away into the background, disappearing out of the back corners of his eyes forever. Kurapika didn't dare interrupt him now.

"We don't care about those things," Chrollo softly explained.

A growing dread sunk into his limbs like death. Kurapika tried to turn to the man, to face his words but found that he couldn't move a thing, so raptured was he looking at Chrollo's face.

"Kurapika," his name was rich off his lips. Chrollo laughed, his laugh was bright and warm and beautiful – the sound tinged with a small sadness. "I arbitrarily chose stealing."

His mind went white.

"I admit, it could have been any number of things. I'm sure you already know of our philanthropic work, don't you?"

He could almost shout.

"Then why?!" he screamed. "Why do it?!" Kurapika surged from his seat. He didn't care anymore, he didn't care if this whole train heard him. Chrollo was silent in the face of his emotion. "You don't even need the money!" his eyes widened onto the man; his voice broke. His face was clear glass.

He could almost cry.

Chrollo didn't respond.

"Answer me!"

The Spider leader's voice was calm. "No, we don't. Most of us are from Ryuusegai; we don't even know what money is."

Kurapika flinched hard.

"So many people died because of you! God, Chrollo, just tell me! Why steal if you don't even want the things that you take? Please, my clan, they-" he was crying.

Kurapika blinked, and the water ran, flowing. He couldn't stop it. He raised trembling hands towards himself, towards his face, frozen at what was happening, what he was doing, and why he couldn't stop.

He had begged so shamefully. At the look of his face, Chrollo took mercy on him.

The man started.

"My Spiders will follow me into the pits of hell," he began slow like it was a tale, an old legend he was telling. Chrollo smiled, proud at the memory. His eyes were closed, recalling the things they've done and swept in the pure unadulterated feeling. "If I say jump they don't ask how high; they soar. The great things that we did together… was stronger than any bond we've ever had. The more we killed the deeper those familial bonds went until we reached heights we could never have alone. We were on top of the world. Unstoppable. In the thick of the act, we felt most alive," his face was alight.

Chrollo recounted.

"People from Ryuusegai are forgotten. Seen as expendable. We were told to disappear. That's why... I wanted to create something that would last forever. I wanted to make our mark on history. Even if that meant that to confirm our existence we had to take those of others, like your clan. No one could take from us."

The Spider leader had shrugged coolly at the end. Mortified, Kurapika met his gaze reflected against the glass. "It's nothing personal against you," he said. "We didn't want your eyes. Only the act of stealing is what matters."

…

They had reached their destination. Leaving the cramped seating of the train into the outside air felt like a kind of freedom itself, filled him with a certain relief, maybe for the both of them. Chrollo seemed to read of his enthusiasm to get out of close quarters with him, and he smiled in small amusement at his brisk exit. The man walked behind more casually. They had left off in the town nearest to York New, specifically the stop prior. To get to the city they would have to cross over the rocky canyon in between the two places by foot or by blimp, if they were to actually get there, even though the train itself had a final destination for York New downtown station. But Chrollo desired to exit a stop early. Kurapika glared at him, suspicious.

He didn't forget the words that the man said. He just didn't have the words to respond, only to accept and realize the truth that Chrollo and his Spiders were deeply unfixable. It would have been simpler if he was greedy. It would've been easier if Chrollo was plain selfish. But that was too kind for him, the gods would never allow him that. Kurapika could never get such a straightforward answer. He wasn't moved in the slightest hearing his reasons, and he wasn't impressed. The horror had settled beneath his skin until it became familiar, he refused to give the man the satisfaction of his reaction. They would get nowhere with that.

When Chrollo dictated where they would go, he followed.

The walk there was long. Quiet. Hot. The sun had been beating down on them even though it was the midst of autumn, though he figured they were on the west coast of the country and the seasons were different here. Drier. More miserable. Kurapika was growing steadily pissed that Chrollo didn't want to take some form of transportation, did he really think to walk to York New? Why didn't they stay on the train? They were so far from the town behind them. Before he could voice his upset, Chrollo offered.

"You know…" he started slowly, conversationally. Kurapika already knew the next words to come out of his mouth were going to piss him off. "When I get my nen back I want you to know that I'll miss you after this."

He figured that the man was joking lightly with him. He thinks… he was possibly attempting to bridge the gap that he made. Kurapika took the hand reached out to him because he was tired of fighting, tired of being angry. He wanted to be free.

"Hmph," he harked back, rolling his eyes even though the man couldn't see it. "You'll have your large ego with you for company."

Chrollo gave him a quick side glance.

"Will you continue to pursue me? I won't mind."

"I'm not here for your entertainment," he growled.

"Oh, of course," his words were warm and amused. He could feel all of his attention on him.

Kurapika got pissed.

He knew the man was checking him out. "Would you stop it already? I'm not joining your damn Spider."

Chrollo quickly glanced away. "Is that so?" he asked innocently, his focus was on the distance in front of them.

"Yes," Kurapika turned to glare at him. "So stop looking so smug with yourself, it's disgusting."

The side of Chrollo's lips turned up.

"I mean it."

"I want you to come with me."

"Fuck you."

"I think you'd make a perfect addition to my team. You're smart. You're quite capable."

"Was that the best pitch you could come up with?"

"I was being honest," he shrugged, not looking at him.

There was still that damn smile on his face.

"No."

Chrollo shrugged his shoulders again. "My loss," he conceded good-naturedly.

Kurapika chose to ignore it.

He shook his head of it because he needed to focus onward. He stated anew, out in the open.

"I've got more important things to do than to follow you," Kurapika spoke aloud.

He made a few steps forward before he stopped, processing his current statement. He froze. Chrollo didn't see him. It wasn't until the man passed a few paces in front of him before he too stopped, noticing of his sudden stillness. The man turned around and blinked. When he saw his face, he softly inclined his head. But Kurapika wasn't paying any attention to his actions.

Chrollo took a glance along the surroundings around them and then nodded, satisfied.

He smirked to himself. "Oh?" he prompted him for more.

But Kurapika wasn't paying attention to his face. He was so focused, so compelled, his sight unseeing.

"Even if they're dead, I'm loyal to my clan," he pressed further.

He wanted the man to know that. He wanted the man to understand this fact.

Kurapika thought that now he was getting somewhere, getting closer, getting warmer, touching onto something just inches beyond him. It was swelling him with a feeling, driving him a step back under a wash of pure light. Something very important. He felt so close. Chrollo didn't interrupt his realization.

In fact, the man smiled, so gently, so warmly.

"I know."

Kurapika wanted to tell him. "I'm going to collect the eyes. I'm going to collect every last pair that you've scattered all over this earth. And when I'm done I'm going to bury them properly like they deserve." His were red now.

Chrollo was so happy. His voice absolutely curled. "And me?" he asked. "And my Troupe?" his voice was full of warmth and happiness.

Kurapika didn't need to think about it. "As for you, I won't pursue you anymore." At his words, Chrollo shivered. "I'm letting you go. I won't follow you any longer, not when I can search for the eyes. I won't be a slave to my revenge – to you. I love my clan more than I hate you," he realized.

It was beautiful.

Once he was done, his body slumped and curled inward, finished.

Chrollo sighed in pleasure.

His body seemed to breathe totally in relief.

"Thank you," he said.

Kurapika stilled.

The Kurta felt the change in the air, in the winds as they turned against his direction; suddenly, he felt like he made a big mistake.

But he wouldn't take it back. No; he shook his head, Kurapika could move on. He would never have to kill again. He could choose to love, not hate. The clarity showered along his skin until he felt it thrill up his spine, like a bloom of warmth it was so wonderful that the first time in years his mind was clear of the pressure. He felt lighter, buoyant, and taller on his feet. He couldn't deny the pure joy filling him up inside until it showed light in his face; he was free.

Chrollo turned his hands over themselves, watching them like they belonged to someone else, like they were something new. Then he smiled. He took a deep breath and exhaled again, closing his eyes. He straightened his back, rolled his shoulders, cracked his neck loudly from both sides. Chrollo finished his stretching before focusing his eyes on him, his gaze greatly amused. Before Kurapika could ask what, the man snapped his fingers and in his hands activated his hatsu.

His book, Skill Hunter, appeared. The thing flew open, flipping its pages wildly on its own.

Chrollo shut the nen construct closed, satisfied with everything in working order.

"That was the last condition I needed, Kurapika. I appreciate your words."

His eyes widened red.

Chrollo gazed at him with fondness.

"Since you're no longer hostile towards me anymore, I'll do you the same. I won't kill you. Not that I want to, I don't want to fight you either. I meant what I said. I hope that one day we can be friends."

What the-

He was so shocked he didn't think to attack him.

No… It wasn't that. He didn't want to either. Not after he had downright told the man he would no longer take his revenge.

Stumbled, Kurapika was so lost in thought he didn't see the man come closer to him.

When he looked up, his eyes widened with fear; he backed a step only for the man to smile.

Chrollo was genuine. "I'm happy for you," his words were gentle.

Kurapika felt the spite swirl viciously in his veins, like a drug cut in with the joy. The sheer elation tempered his violence, made his eyes go red and not-red, had him backing another step, his hands twitching unsure what to do with themselves.

He was so happy, so confused. Chrollo didn't give him the time to stop and think.

"You can finally move on." He tried to convince him. "You've got to collect your clan's eyes and I've got to meet my Spiders. We can both get what we want," he murmured. His body drew nearer and hotter, only breaths away to tempt him forward, for the Kurta to meet him, to accept. His words aired faintly against his skin, Kurapika gasped at the proximity, while the tingle made his legs tremble.

Suddenly, Kurapika feared him.

"But the offer is still on the table… for you," Chrollo gazed at him tenderly. His voice was rich with warmth. "It's yours. But since you've got a goal of your own, I guess this is where we part ways." The man looked away from him to the rocky canyons around them.

Kurapika couldn't speak.

"I truly hope you achieve happiness," Chrollo spoke quietly, before turning to look at him. When he saw his face, he was smiling.

And Kurapika tried. He tried to find the anger in him to burst at Chrollo's words, he tried to find himself. He searched and he searched for the things he had clutched so tightly to his chest until they became familiar, until they melded into his organs only to find that the old friend of his revenge had finally slipped through his hands like grains of sand. He had gained something so beautiful... but he had lost something so dear. He panicked, terrified of the man, terrified of all his new, turbulent feelings. Chrollo seemed to read of all of him from his face, the man smiled even brighter.

"I hope that one day you will be at peace," he told him last.

Kurapika watched the man leave. He was silent all the while, all but the water that ran down his face, perpetually confused. His brows furrowed even as the canyon grew empty and his heart beat even, conflicted, one side clearly winning over the other.

He had got what he wanted.

….

"Danchou!"

Everyone sung of his name.

Chrollo smiled.

It felt like he was finally home.

When he looked and found no sign of Paku, his spiders seemed to read of his questioning silence.

Shalnark broke the news.

He told the story of what had happened between him and the chain user, Nobunaga growing more and more excited.

They wanted to kill him. Feitan twirled his umbrella, Nobu itched his hands over his swords, Phinks wound his right arm once, grinning. Now that he was free, they wanted to eliminate him as threat. Permanently. Chrollo could see the way they thirsted for his next orders, pacing beside themselves for the one word that would set them free like an army bored of marching, attack dogs bursting out of a cage. He thought about the idea momentarily, idly.

"We won't be pursuing the chain user," he said.

Nobu was notably upset. He'd have to think of something for him later.

Shizuku was the only one who asked why.

Chrollo told them.

"Paku died of her own volition," he started slowly, thinking of the way she had faced him at the defining moment, her eyes full of worry over her own betrayal. She looked at him as she completed the act. In the end, Chrollo couldn't hate her, her face was the last thing he saw. "She did it for the spider. I want to honor her choice and thank her for the actions she took spared my life. She could have simply waited. But she died for us, as well as for me." Most of them nodded and dropped it immediately.

He could see the hurt present in Nobu's eyes. The confusion, confliction. He felt the same, not too long ago.

"Uvo… He seeked a fight out with Kurapika intentionally, did he not? Nobu."

The samurai man slightly faltered.

Chrollo looked up at the broken ceiling thoughtfully. "If you want to blame the chain user for defending himself and succeeding, you are free to do so," he watched his spider carefully.

Nobu flitted his eyes across his face, possibly checking if his leader was under manipulation. Chrollo didn't mind. He let his spiders inspect him for themselves, come to their own conclusions. He would never force it.

When Nobu was too upset to speak, Chrollo admitted quietly. "I've got no grudge against him. And I know he no longer holds one against me," he added importantly.

When Nobu's eyebrows furrowed, not in the least moved but they could hear the awe and honesty in his voice because they knew him most, he continued.

"He won't hurt any of you," they quickly noticed of his exclusion. He was proud, moved and uncaring all the same. He was so happy. "So long as he keeps to that condition, I am content," he smiled, and no one could protest.

Chrollo closed his eyes to the sound of Nobu grumbling, stomping off to a far corner, probably both grieving and feeling absolutely elated for his return at the same time. Shalnark chirped up immediately, merrily telling him of the things they did while he was gone. Machi nodded at him, brisk and professional, in the way he knew she was checking him for injuries before returning to her magazine. Shizuku wandered off on her own quietly. Feitan and Phinks decided to play cards, challenging Franklin, who hummed his agreement in a deep, old voice. Koltopi chose to sit next to him, playing with his toys. Bono didn't move.

He was home.

…

We reject no one,

so take nothing from us.

I'm glad I could finish something for this fandom.

This fic is technically due for a sequel but I lowkey don't trust my discipline updating (lol) so I wanted to end it here so you all have something conclusive to enjoy without worry. I will be writing a new KuroKura soon but I just wanted to say thank you for making it this far, I was really excited to share this story:)

Also, the three really obscure, (only there for the plot) conditions are:

1) Kurapika has to come to him of his own volition.

2) Kurapika has to "let him go" of his own volition (and this is where Chrollo has taken certain interpretive liberties.)

3) He has to do so within range of the place where he had first cemented his judgement chain.