AN: This is a crack fic, that is your only warning.

Ooooooooh, Shiny

Kanto: Part the first

-Ash-

"Nine hundred ninety-eight." Ash grunted, faint sweat on his skin from doing handstand pushups "nine hundred ninety-nine. One thousand." Grunting, the eighteen-year-old Ash gave one last hard push and flipped up onto his feet. "Well that was a good morning warmup." He grinned, having long ago gotten used to the fact that he never seemed to really get tired.

"Ash, breakfast!" his mom called from downstairs.

"All right!" he grinned, tossing on his hat as he vaulted over the railing to land on the first floor.

"Must you always do that?" his mom sighed, having long ago gotten used to him doing stuff like that.

"Of course he must!" his dad, Bruno, laughed out boisterously, his dad having come back from the League to see Ash off on the first day of his journey.

"Boys." His mom just sighed, placing large stacks of pancakes before them both.

"Thanks!" Ash and his dad exclaimed together, happily digging into the food with gusto as his mom laughed fondly.

"So Ash, who do you want as a starter?" his dad asked between bites of fluffy pancake, his mom eating more…sedately.

"Don't know." He grunted out, determined to eat more pancakes than his old man "They're all awesome!"

"Not gonna be a fighting specialist like me?" Bruno grinned, playfully ribbing Ash even as they reloaded their plates.

"I don't want people to be able to make a strategy against me so easily." He taunted, "All anyone needs is a bird or a psychic type and you tip like a milktank old man."

"Oi!" Bruno pointed a fork at him challengingly, "Them's fightin words!"

"Bring it ya limp noodle!" Ash grinned, butting heads with Bruno, "All I need is a pidgey and you're toast!"

"Boys!" his mom scolded playfully "Play nice or no more pancakes."

"Yes ma'am!" he and Bruno panicked, quickly turning back to the food as his mom smirked in smug satisfaction.

-Twelve stacks of Pancakes later-

"Ash, you're running a little late." Professor Oak frowned when he walked inside, Gary and the other rookie trainers already having their new Pokémon out and getting to know them.

"First, a Ketchum is never late, nor are they early. A Ketchum arrives exactly when they mean to." He smirked "Second, one does not simply ignore Momma Ketchum's pancakes!" a series of deadpans from the professor and the other rookies was his only response.

"Well Ash," the professor sighed "since you're late you won't get a choice on your starter, I've only got one left that came in from the breeder." Going over to a box, the professor took out the last ball and tossed it over.

"Ha, bet the loser just gets a pidgey." Gary chuckled to the other rookie trainers, some of the ones who were groupies to the Oak name laughing out.

"Come on out!" Ash tossed the ball skyward as it burst open to reveal a Pikachu, sparkles bursting out as it landed, spiky ears perked up. "Holy Arceus, a shiny!" he exclaimed as Pikachu looked smug "And it's a spikey ear too! That's freakin awesome! Up top Pikachu!"

"Pika!" eagerly, the shiny Pikachu leapt up onto his shoulder and slapped his open palm with its tail.

"Are you kidding me?!" Gary yelled out, looking more than a little angry at not getting a shiny, much to his Squirtle's indignation.

"Got that right Gare-Bear." He smirked, "So much for me being a loser. Pikachu and I will be sure to crush the league."

"Pika!" the shiny mouse cried out just as eagerly.

"Hoorah!" he shouted, getting his Pokéballs and Pokédex from a stunned aide before taking back off for home.

"Ash!" Bruno cried out happily, "I see you've got your-holy fighting type you got a shiny?!"

"Yes!" his mom cried out, cackling as she pointed at some of the neighbors whose kids had also started journeys "My boy has a shiny as a starter! SUCK IT!"

"On that note, it's time for me to head out to kick names and take ass." He grinned, pulling his parents into a bear hug as they gasped for air.

"Good…luck." His father wheezed out before he let them go.

"Let's hit the forest Pikachu!" Ash grinned, taking off running with Pikachu by his side.

"Pika!" his partner cheered happily as they entered the forest. Within a few minutes of entering the trail by his house he saw a battle between a horde of spearow and fearrow against some pidgey, Pigeotto, and pidgeot.

"Oi!" he yelled, annoyed at the birds blocking the path and taking a dump all over the trail, "move out of the way would ya!" Their response was screeching angrily and turning towards him, flapping their wings and getting ready to attack. "Pikachu, thunder shock." He called out as his starter used the weakest electric attack on the giant bird flocks.

"PI-KA-CHUUUUUUUU!" the shiny mouse called out as an electric attack the size of a skyscraper hit the flock as birds began falling form the sky!"

"Hey, more shinnies!" he grinned, throwing Pokéballs to a falling shiny Spearow and a falling shiny pidgey. "Whelp, best keep going to Viridian!" he grinned, "Come on Pikachu!"

"Pika!" his starter cheered as they rushed off, making sure to avoid the piles of bird poop.

-Arceus-

Relaxing in the Hall of Legends, the golden body of Arceus lounges as she watches the world of humans with one of her sisters…or she WAS lounging, as was Giratina. Then she saw the chosen one she had given a blessing to along with his starter, who she hadn't expected to have the shiny trait or the spikey ear trait. Either one alone made a Pokémon stronger, as did having a human partner with aura. But a thunder shock doing THAT!

"HOLY FRICK IN A BUCKET!" Giratina fell to the ground in shock "I didn't realize I gave his starter that much of a power boost."

"You WHAT?!" Arceus yelled turning to her sister wide eyed. Occasionally, a legendary got a vision of an impending disaster or problem so they find a human to be a Chosen one and either bless the human with Aura, which enhances the power of all of their team, or bless one of the human's Pokémon. Arceus had a vision years ago and blessed Ash with Aura.

"I had a vision of him being in the area of a disaster, so I blessed his Pikachu." Giratina explained with a frown.

"I had a vision of him being in the area of a disaster, so I blessed him with aura!" Arceus protested before she and her sister paused and looked at the viewing pool where they saw it was raining birds.

"DIBS!" they called in unison, taking their human forms as they did so.

-Garry Oak, ponce extraordinaire-

Scraping off a bunch of pidgey shit from his, now likely ruined, shoes, Gary Oak swaggered into the Viridian City Pokémon center. Striding inside, he strutted up to a deadpanning Nurse Joy and gave her a wink. Women loved an Oak, or at least that was what his dad had always told him. "Heyya toots," he grinned roguishly "heal up my team, would ya?" giving a flirty click of his tongue as he made finger guns, Gary backed up towards the video phones to call the old man.

"Ah, Gary." The old man smiled, "I was hoping you'd call when you got to Viridian."

"Yep, future champ in the making here!" he grinned, "I caught a pidgey on my way over and it'll be a powerhouse! So, how many Pokémon did Ashy-boy fail to catch?"

"Actually, Ash left Viridian city hours ago and has already caught a Pidgey, a Spearow, a ratatta, an oddish, a bellsprout, a male nidoran, a female nidoran, a magicarp, a poliwag, a caterpie, and a weedle. All of them shiny to boot!"

Gary_Asshole . exe has crashed, please initiate reboot sequence.

"Oh dear, I broke him." The old professor sighed, "Daisy! I think I broke Gary…again."

-Ash Ketchum-

Grinning excitedly, Ash walked down the streets of Pewter City. After getting past some weird hobo wanting to charge him for standing on a boulder, he managed to get down to the main part of town. Walking inside the Center, he smiled to the pretty pinkette behind the counter, "Hey Nurse Joy!" he smiled, walking forward as the nurse waved happily, "Wanted to know if you could give the team a look over."

"No problem Mr. Ketchum," the nurse took his team with a smile "and I've been looking forward to your visit. My sister you saw last week told all of us about you and your team of shinnies."

"Thanks Nurse Joy," he smiled happily, "I'm going to go make some calls."

"Have fun Mr. Ketchum!" Nurse waves him off as he goes to call his family and get his team swapped out for the upcoming gym battle against the rock type Gym Leader. An hour later, team prepared, he threw open the doors to the rock gym…which was, in itself, a giant rock.

"I'm Ash Ketchum of Pallet town!" he called out into the gym, "And I'm here for a battle!"

-Hall of Legends…again-

Frowning, Arceus looked about the hall of legends, now full of every legendary and mythical Pokémon in her creation. "Alright you lot," she frowned and pointed at the viewing pool "this is Ash Ketchum. I gave him the blessing of aura when he was a child after getting a vision of an impending event. I recently learned that Giratina gave his Pikachu a blessing as well. Now I need to know if anyone else gave him or his team a blessing?" one by one all the legendaries start saying that they saw potential disasters and gave Ash or a member of his team a blessing.

"Pikachu, use thunderbolt!" Ash calls out, causing all eyes to look back at the viewing pool to see the small electric Pokémon hit an onyx with an attack so strong it overpowers the ground typing and knocks it out.

"Rrrrrgh, GO GEODUDE!" the frustrated Gym leader called out, sending out Pokémon number two.

"Magicarp, use tackle!"

"Duuuuude!" one rock type embedded in a wall later and the chosen one has won a gym badge.

As the rest of the sheepish legendaries all left to go back to their own domains, caves, and random towers, Arceus and Giratina looked at each other and nodded, once more taking their human forms and teleporting down to earth. They had each called dibs and nobody else would get a chance to get that chosen one booty.

-Ash…again. Methinks there may be a pattern here-

Blushing up a storm, Ash went to go collect his team from the Nurse Joy at the desk, wanting them checked as his magicarp had evolved into a Gyarados after tackling Brock's geodude into a wall. While he waited he had found himself between two other girls who seemed to be competing on who could make his blood enter a civil war about whether to go north or south.

One, Amy, had golden hair and tanned skin. The other, her sister Giselle, had pale blonde hair with blue highlights. They had been flirting with him constantly and when he said he was going up to the desk to pick up his team they had each kissed a cheek.

"Having fun Mr. Ketchum?" Nurse joy asked with a teasing smirk, tapping her cheek as he looked in a mirror to see two kiss marks on his cheeks, one gold and the other bright blue. Whipping off the lipstick with a blush, he collected his Pokéballs and prepared to head back out, needing to pass through Mount Moon to get to Cerulean city next.

-Gary Oak: Return of the Ponce-

Throwing open the doors to the Pokémon center, Gary oak grumbled. Ever since Viridian where he found out that the loser Ash had somehow got more Pokémon than him, and lucked out with them all being shiny, Gary had been determined to prove that he was the best.

"It was so adorable." He heard the Nurse laugh as she looked at what he guessed was a video call on a tablet, "I can't remember the last time I saw a young trainer so flustered. And those two didn't give Ash much of a choice about things as they went with him."

"Ketchum?" he exclaimed, confused as to why the nurse looked up annoyed at him hearing her conversation.

"Yes, Ash Ketchum won his first gym badge here several days ago and then left with two pretty girls who seemed determined to, um, 'place their mark' on him." The nurse smirked "Now do you need something? Also, please refrain from winking, doing your finger guns, or calling me 'toots'." She scowled in disgust much to his confusion, what woman didn't want the attention of an Oak? The Oak family were a group of Alpha Males and studs.

"I need my team healed so I can crush the Pewter Gym Leader!" he put on his serious game face. Together, he, Squirtle, Pidgey, and ratatta would crush the town's Gym Leader into the dust.

-One battle…um scrap?...one trouncing later-

Near catatonic, Gary Oak fell to his knees. His Squirtle had gone down easily to Brock's geodude with a thunder punch and his Ratatta hadn't even been able to make a scratch on the Rock trainer's Pokémon. "I ramped up my training after the last guy who challenged me." The Gym leader told him "He took out my Onyx with a Pikachu and his magicarp defeated that geodude with at tackle. After loosing to that Ketchum kid we decided to take things more seriously. You should try the same."

"…Ketchum?" he seethed, "I AM BETTER THAN THAT LOSER ASH!"

"…Yeaaaah, not really." The Gym leader shrugged unphased "You need a lot of work. That kid I can see winning the league if he keeps up whatever his regiment is."

"AAAAAAARGH!"

-Return to Ash the magnificent-

"Alright, I'm ready." He told himself, working to psyche himself up as he jogged in place by the gym. Since leaving Pewter he had managed to capture a Sandshrew, a Jigglypuff, a Mankey, an Ekans, a Goldeen, a Clefairy, a Paras, a geodude, a Zubat, a psyduck, a Crabby, a venonat, an Abra, and had evolved most of his old Pokémon at least once. He had also managed to avoid being bright red twenty-four seven around the flirty sisters who were still apparently competing on making him flush and who he had somehow ended up traveling with.

"You got this Ash!" Amy called out, she and Giselle having changed into bikinis for the water gym as they cheered him on, much to his body's dismay as his blood once more entered civil war.

"Trounce these airheads!" Giselle added, the two sisters having been annoyed at meeting the Cerulean city gym leaders who had been trying to ignore gym leader duties in favor of performing water ballets. Amy and Giselle had quickly changed into bikinis…somewhere while he challenged them and smirked as they were getting more attention than the 'airheaded excuses for gym leaders' as the sister put it.

"Hey!" the trio of Waterflower sisters protested angrily at the statements from Amy and Giselle.

"Let's rock this Pidgeotto!" he called out, sending out the golden bird as the entire audience gasped before they started cheering at seeing a shiny.

"T-that's a shiny?" the blonde cerulean sister he was battling gasped out, "You have a shiny?!"

"Every Pokémon I have is shiny." He shrugged, sending out the rest of the Pokémon he had on hand as they started showing off for the crowd.

"Ash, beat her good and I'll give you a kiss!" Amy called out as he stumbled in place, his blush getting worse.

"I'll give you two!" Giselle countered. When he heard the sisters start going back and forth he decided to tune them out lest he pass out from blood flow problems.

"Go goldeen!" the gym leader called out, looking determined to win.

"Alright Pigeotto, we worked hard to get this move down so let's give it a test!" Ash called out, thinking about the expert class move they had tried to learn before the weaker ones "Use Hurricane!"

"What?!" the gym leaders gasped out even as his shiny flying type flapped her wings hard as the water got sucked up into a massive hurricane, goldeen being knocked out easily.

"Kingler!" the gym leader didn't even hesitate as she sent out Pokémon number two.

"Pidgeotto return!" he called back the bird as Amy and Giselle began to coo and cuddle the happy Pokémon for its victory, "Go Krabby!" he sent out the tiny shiny crab that looked up at the larger than normal Kingler.

"All right, you got this Daisy!" one of the gym leader sisters called out to the blonde he was battling.

"Trounce this runt!" the other added.

Ash's response? "Crabhammer!"

"Kingler is unable to battle, Ash Ketchum from pallet town is the winner!" the ref called out even as the gym leader sisters fell to their knees and started crying about how life wasn't fair.

"Ooooooh Aaaash!" a voice purred in his ear as Amy and Giselle got right up behind him and began to purr in his ear "Time for your rewards." With that, the duo of trainers descended on him with a flurry of kisses and other happy sounds. Once they had finished, they led his dazed self to the lobby for a picture, this gym taking pictures of everyone who swept the gym, and then back out for the journey.

"He he he." A happy little laugh was the only sound Ash's brain could make besides 'YIPEE!'

-Gary Oak, the embarrassment of Pallet-

Grumpy, Gary Oak trudged into Cerulean city. It had taken him over a week of nonstop training, his Squirtle evolving, and catching a nidoran to be able to beat Brock…on his fifth attempt. Now he was in cerulean with an expanded team and was ready to get his journey moving like it was supposed to. Walking into the Pokémon center the nurse looked up and, upon seeing him, pointed to a new looking sing on the wall.

'Center rules: 1. No flirting with the Nurses without consent. 2. No referring to the Nurses as 'toots' without consent. 3. If you make any angry demands of the nurses you will be put on the bottom of the waiting line for amenities. 4. If you break rules one and/or two you will not be allowed a room in the center.'

Eye twitching more than a little irritably, Gary dropped his Pokémon off with the nurse and went to go talk to his gramps on the phone, the old man having refused to tell him about Ash's journey after the first time. "Gary, just got to Cerulean city I see." His grandpa smiled, always genuinely happy to see him.

"Yeah Gramps, just calling to check in with you before I go take on the Cerulean gym leader." He grinned, this one would be easy at least. The forums he found online said after a bad loss the Gym Leaders have been giving out badges recently to anyone who asks. After talking with his grandpa a bit more he ended the call as the nurse called him up to the desk.

"Mr. Oak, your team are in worse shape than we first thought so they'll need to rest here overnight. If you're aiming to challenge the gym it will have to be tomorrow." The nurse told him seriously as he groaned but relented. Wasn't like waiting till the next day would matter much.

-Next day (dun, dun DUUUUUN!)-

Swaggering into the water type Gym, Gary looked confused at the sound of angry shouting. Walking towards the source he found one girl with orange hair arguing with the three hotties he heard were the gym leaders. "Um, hello?" he called out as four heads turned towards him "I'm here for a gym badge." All they had to do was hand it over, he could leave, and they could go back to arguing.

"Well you'll be battling me for it." The girl with orange hair said with an angry look at her sisters, "I go away for a bit of catching and training but come back today to find these twits are giving away gym badges!"

Gary wanted to cry at his rightfully earned free badge being taken away from him like that before he forced himself to look serious, "I'll take you down!" he called, "Go Nidorino!" he sent out his poison type who roared and stomped on the platform it was on.

"The name's Misty and this will be a one on one battle." The girl told him as she pulled out a Pokéball, "Go Star-"

"Psyduck!" a beam of light left her bag as one of her Pokémon let itself out.

"HAHAHAHAHA!" he cackled eagerly "Looks like I'm battling psyduck! This'll be easy! You must suck as a trainer if that dope doesn't listen to you and lets itself out like that."

Misty growled out angrily, "Psyduck, use water gun!"

"Duck?" the yellow Pokémon tilted its head, hands on its face.

"Psyduck!" Misty groaned out as he laughed, Misty's sisters snickering as well.

"Nidorino, use headbutt!" he ordered, his Pokémon leaping onto psyduck's platform and slamming its head and horn onto psyduck's skull. "Alright, keep it up!" he called out, tears of joy starting to form in the corners of his eyes. He was going to do it, he was going to win! He was about to get what he deserved aaaaand why were the duck's eyes glowing?

"Psy-DUCK!" the yellow Pokémon yelled angrily as Nidorino was blasted back by a powerful psychic attack and knocked out in one move.

"The winner is Misty Waterflower!" the referee called out as the orangette cheered and hugged her Psyduck.

"Come back when you can actually battle." Misty sneered at him as he returned Nidorino and slumped out. In the lobby, Gary saw a wall of pictures and a sign saying they were of people who swept the Gym. The most recent one grabbed his eye as he saw Ash standing there with a dopey grin, face covered in blue and gold kiss marks as two total BABES held his arms and winked at the camera.

"Curse you KETCHUUUUUM!"

-Meanwhile, with the people who actually matter-

"Alright!" Ash cheered as Pikachu took out Lt. Surge's Raichu, Voltorb, and Magneton in a one on three battle.

"Way to go Ash!" Amy and Giselle cheered, the girls having changed into a skimpy version of a military uniform. After Cerulean the two had gotten bolder and he had found himself starting to return their gestures, even managing to fluster them on occasion.

"Not bad pipsqueak." The electric trainer seeming in surprisingly good spirits about losing, "Let me know if you and your mouse want to become gym leaders at some point. I could train you up to take over here in Vermillion."

"I'll consider it." Ash promised, shaking hands with the giant.

"You do that. No go to your girls, they look eager to reward you." The soldier teased as Ash flushed and got drug off by Amy and Giselle who waved goodbye to Lieutenant Surge.

"Ah, he's a good runt." The man laughed as the door closed behind them. Pulling up a tablet he checked the kid's trainer profile and saw that the kid had caught the first stage of every Pokémon native to the routes he had travelled on and evolved several of them. Furthermore the kid had somehow gotten a Squirtle, a Bulbasaur, and a Charmander between Cerulean and Vermillion and every bloody Pokémon the kid caught had been shiny.

"Definitely keeping an eye on the runt and his girlfriends." He smirked as he saw the girls taking turns kissing the kid senseless outside.

-With Amy and Giselle-

(A.K.A. Arceus and Giratina but if you didn't know that then I happen to know a Nigerian prince who would absolutely love to talk with you)

Looking at Ash sleeping away as they made camp, she walked outside the tent to talk with her sister. "Giselle." She nodded to Giratina who smirked back.

"Amy." The goddess of the void nodded, "Here to admit defeat and relinquish your excuse of 'dibs'?"

"No, I'm here to ask that of you." Amy got in her sister's face "I called dibs first so he's mine!"

"No, I called it first so he's mine!" Giselle countered.

"Mine!"

"Mine!"

"Mine!"

"Mine!"

"Mine!"

"Mine!"

"Mine!"

By this point they're pulling at each other's hair and clothes as they argue over who gets the chosen one booty. "Enough!" looking over, they saw Ash coming out of the tent, "Girls, you're both pretty. Now can you stop fighting already! It's one on the morning and you two are sisters so act like it!" Silently, Amy turned to look at her sister as they shared a nod, noting how Ash seemed to realize things had just changed dramatically.

"I believe Ash is right sister dear." Amy smirked as she stalked towards Ash, Giselle copying her as Ash gulped.

"Why yes, I believe you're correct Amy." Giselle nodded as they each grabbed a fistful of Ash's shirt.

"We're sisters. Sisters are supposed to share and work together." Amy grinned as they began to drag Ash inside his tent.

"We'll probably have to work together with this little stud muffin." Giselle smirked as they tossed Ash onto the sleeping bags and pounced.

-Ash-

With extra pip in his step, Ash walked into Celadon City, an exhausted Amy and Giselle walking bow legged behind him, shit eating grins on their faces. "Come on girls," he grinned, arms around their waists as they leaned into him "I've been making some bank with all the battles I've won. Let's go splurge a bit, my treat!"

"Best boyfriend ever." The two dazed girls cheered as they walked to the Celadon shopping district.

"So you've mentioned many times." Ash grinned, his ego more than a little inflated at their praise.

A few hours, and several thousand Poke later, Ash and the girls were leaving the shopping market as a salesperson called out to him from a perfume shop. "No thanks, not a big fan of perfume." He shook his head and ignored the sales chick's indignant and outraged gasp. "Come on girls, lets drop off the purchases and hit the gym." He told his girlfriends as they walked back to the center and up to the room they shared inside. The girls changing into one of their new purchases while he picked his team.

"We're reaaaady." The girls called out, exiting the bathroom in skimpy kimonos as Ash had to remind himself they were here for a gym battle, not other types of fun.

-One walk full slack jawed passersby later-

"What do you mean I'm not allowed in?" he snarled as two gym attendants stood out front to bar his entry.

"You insulted our perfume brat." The one on the right snarled.

"We make that perfume you insulted here at the Gym, so you aren't allowed in." the one on the left sneered.

Before he could do anything, Amy and Giselle placed hands on his shoulder, "Give us a moment honey." Amy growled out.

"We'll handle this." Giselle cracked her knuckles before shoving the two attendants inside. After a few minutes full of sounds of intense violence, the door opened to reveal the attendants knocked out while Ash's girlfriends didn't look even remotely ruffled.

"…Well that's hot." He grinned as the girls smirked and kissed his cheeks and they walked inside. Getting to the door to the main battle room he kicked it open, the metal warping. "Must be some poor craftsmanship." He frowned, not noticing Amy flick the metal and share a look with Giselle. "Oi!" he yelled as the gym leader and the rest of her aides turned to him, "Despite those idiots you had out front trying to stop me I'm here for a gym battle."

"He's the boy who insulted our perfume!" one aide yelled and pointed.

"I said I wasn't a fan of perfume in general you twit." He snapped, before glaring at an unamused gym leader "Go Kingler!" his shiny crab got sent out as did the gym leader's weepinbell. "Use bubble!"

"Weepinbell is unable to battle! Gym Leader Erika, send out your second Pokémon!"

"Tangela!"

"Poliwrath, use water gun!"

"Tangela is unable to battle! Gym Leader Erika, send out your final Pokémon!"

"Vileplume!"

"Gyarados, use splash!"

"Vileplume is unable to battle! Ash Ketchum from pallet town is the winner!"

"Are you kidding me?!" Erika cried out in frustration even as Ash got glomped by his beauties.

-Gary_Ponce . exe the third-

Seeing the orangette leave the city for something, Gary rushed to the gym. He had challenged her over eight times and lost each one. Seeing the other three sisters still there he challenged, Daisy to a gym battle.

"Go Goldeen!" the blonde called out.

"Nidorino, use thunderbolt!" he ordered, having paid for the TM with the family money as his poison Pokémon kept zapping the water until the fish Pokémon was unconscious. "I finally got my badge!" he exclaimed excitedly. "Get ready Ash, I'm catching up."

-Ash the Mighty! Wooer of women! Winner of badges!-

"Ash," looking up, the trainer from Pallet town saw his girlfriends looking at him seriously as they made camp in the woods "Amy and I have something important to tell you."

"What is it?" he asked, outwardly calm but inwardly freaking out. 'Don't be pregnant. Don't be pregnant. Don't be pregnant' he thought frantically.

"We weren't completely honest with you about who we are." With a flash, his girlfriends were gone, and in their place was a shiny Arceus and Giratina.

…confused squeak.

"Your ass is still ours though." Arceus told him as they turned back into Amy and Giselle.

CONFUSED SQUEAK!