A/N: Merry Christmas, y'all! I'm back, I have a new obsession, and I'm probably gonna drop off the map again after this, BUT. I wrote a thing (Actually, I wrote four things today), and honestly, this is as much for the posting for all of you because you deserve it as it is for me wanting a link to sent to my friends so they can read it without me having to share it via Google Docs.

IN ANY EVENT. Important information about the timeline: I have no idea about the timeline. I have read no comics, I've watched the first eight or nine episodes of Young Justice (who else is hyped for season three?), the more/most recent Batman movies (with some 10/10 animation), and a couple other DC animated movies via clips on YT. I have read no comics and have gotten the majority of my information from Pinterest and my own personal headcanons (Dad!Bruce is best Bruce). Basically, I threw the Batfam and an AWESOME pin ( pin/ 539728336588748986/ minus the spaces) into the Great Cauldron of Imagination™ and this came out. Enjoy!

Nothing about that week had gone the way Bruce had wanted it to. He'd joined the Justice League on the assumption – the incorrect assumption – that he would be able to keep his lives as Batman, Defender of Gotham, and Batman, Justice League Leader separate. No-one from the League was supposed to know where the Cave was, what the inside of it looked like, or that it was attached to Wayne Manor.

But then Talia had shown up with her…unique problem, and the League had to help because if left unchecked, Talia's problem would be the world's problem. The Watchtower had been compromised – and the whole time, he thought to himself that if Tim had programmed the security, it wouldn't have been overrun – and they had had nowhere else to go.

So Batman, distant and aloof, had turned into Bruce Wayne, married father of 9, in the space of the few seconds it'd taken for him to pull the SUV into the Cave. Hal still hadn't gotten over it. Neither had Talia. For very different reasons, obviously.

2 AM found the Justice League and their plus one still working away in the Cave. Hal and Barry were both losing the battle with consciousness, and Bruce knew that if he didn't call it a night soon, Alfred or Selina would.

With the intuition that only a father could have, he stopped mid-sentence and looked up at the staircase. At first, he thought that Dick had beaten the other two responsible adults to the punch in coming down and telling him to wrap it up. Upon closer examination, however, Dick was very tightly gripping the banister. Bruce's heart sank.

"Meeting adjourned," he called, and all eyes went to the acrobat at the top of the stairs. Bruce was out of his seat, sliding the cowl off, and almost at the bottom of the stairs before Clark – the fastest to react – got out of his chair.

Dick spotted Bruce, and the quick flash of relief was replaced with what was Dick's best imitation of his 'Everything's great' smile. "Hey, B. I didn't mean to interrupt your meeting. I'll only be a moment, I just gotta get something."

"The meeting's over, anyway," Bruce replied. Dick's foot slipped a couple stairs from the bottom, and Bruce was right there to catch him. It didn't stop the sudden and sharp intake of breath from the young man, and once he got ahold of Bruce, he clung to the Bat as tightly as he could. "I got you, Dick."

"Mmph," he muttered into Bruce's shoulder.

"Is he alright?" Diana asked, concern clear in his voice. Bruce answered as Talia opened her mouth, and got quite the glare from the redhead for it.

"He will be. Alfred has the guest rooms prepared for you."

"I can show you to them," the butler spoke up from the top of the stairs. Bruce shot him a grateful look as he helped his eldest back up the stairs and to his room. He didn't care that the rest of the League saw – they already knew this much, what's a little more? – and ignored their gazes. Especially Talia's.

Once he'd gotten Dick back to bed, he sat there until Dick fell back asleep. By then, all of the family had heard, suspected, or sensed something, and had congregated in his room. Dick was more than happy to see everyone, and by the time he was asleep, so was about half the family. Bruce and Selina got to put those that had passed out curled up on or next to the bed back in their own rooms.

Bruce fell asleep more than happy and contented. "You know she's gonna give you hell tomorrow," Selina murmured as she nestled beneath the blankets.

"I'm not thinking about that right now," he replied.

"What'cha thinkin' about, then?"

"How lucky I am to have such a wonderful family." Selina chuckled fondly and snuggled up next to him. There were no more nightmares that night.

He'd also wrongly assumed that Talia might actually drop it. He was a lucky man, no doubt, but he wasn't that lucky.

"You're too soft with them," she accused. Bruce sighed and set down his coffee cup. "You baby them."

"They're my kids, and I'll handle them how I want to," he replied. She scoffed. Behind her, he saw Clark lurking in the doorway. "Last time I checked, I was in charge of this house, not you."

"Most of them, yes. But given your treatment of Grayson, I have concerns about my son." Bruce had to fight not to grip the table or the mug. "Have you been this soft with him, or can I hope that a little discipline still exists in this house?"

"He's my son, too," he gritted out. He thought he had gotten over the anger of not knowing anything about Damian for the first decade of the boy's life. Apparently, he was wrong. Seemed to be happening fairly often this week.

"And I left him with you on the assumption that you would be as interested in his training as I was." He stood and placed his hands on the table, sending a silent apology to Alfred for any damage to be caused.

"Note the terminology there," he snapped. "You left him. In my care. No instructions, no orders, no nothing. Not that I'd have listened to them, anyway." She narrowed her eyes at him. "It's my prerogative what I do with him. Besides, if he wanted to keep everything as it was when you left him here, he would've. He's a child, Talia."

"That's never mattered," she spat back, crossing her arms.

"Well, that's the problem, then. I'm not gonna treat him like he's in the League of Assassins anymore because he's not in the League of Assassins anymore," he retorted. "You can treat him like he's in the League, and I can't stop you. I don't have a right to. But you don't have a right to tell me how to treat him when he's under my roof. And I'm sorry that you have a problem with my having a problem with treating my son like some kind of soldier."

"And that's not exactly what Robin is?" she asked coldly. "Is Robin – all the Robins, all the Batgirls, all the sad little children you take under your care – are they not all soldiers in your glorious war against crime? Isn't that exactly what you intended for Robin to be?"

"Not even close," he growled. "And if you ever say that again, I will make you regret it. They are not soldiers. They're my children, and I'll roll over for the Joker before I let you insinuate that they're anything before that. Now, drop it, or I'll see you out whichever is the closest door."

She glared at him for a long minutes before turning on her heel and storming out, slamming the door behind her. Bruce stood there fuming for a long moment before releasing a long, slow breath. He sat back down and took a long gulp of his coffee. "Are you done eavesdropping?"

"I hadn't meant to," Clark admitted as he emerged from the closet where Bruce had seen him slink do as soon as Talia's attention was solely on Bruce. "But I thought it might be a good idea to know the lay of the land between you two, and I'd have heard the argument anyway." He looked sheepish. Bruce shook his head slightly and gestured to a chair, which Clark gratefully took. "Not a happy parting?"

"Not a single one of our partings has been," Bruce replied. "It's only gotten worse since she let him stay with me." He gripped the mug a little tighter. Clark, in a move that he was either very smart or very stupid about, put his hand on Bruce's shoulder.

"If it helps, I won't let her take him and run off with him." He really didn't know what he was offering to get involved in, but Bruce was grateful nonetheless.

"Thank you."

Letting the League spend the night revealed some very interesting things. For one, Selina and Diana were almost the exact same size in clothing, which he only found out when Diana walked by him wearing an entire outfit of Selina's clothes. For the second, J'onn was either an early waker, or he wanted to see the sunrise in Gotham. One good thing about being a notoriously cloudy city was that Gotham had some pretty stunning sunrises and sunsets.

On a related note, both Barry and Hal enjoyed sleeping in. As did, strangely enough, Shayera.

As he passed everyone's rooms to get to the guest ones, he stopped when he heard a violin.

He smiled. Damian, a few months after arriving, had stumbled upon his mother's violin. Since then, he'd been teaching himself how to play. He was concert-level skilled at this point, and there wasn't a single person in the house who was capable of walking past his playing. Certainly not Bruce.

This song sounded very familiar, and as he approached Damian's room, he could see why. Dick was sitting outside, back against the wall, eyes closed and head tilted back, soaking in the sound. It was one of the songs from that one circus musical movie that Dick adored so much. The Greatest Showman, if Bruce remembered correctly. The people he'd been coming to collect were all around the corner, watching without disturbing.

Bruce walked up quietly and sat next to Dick. Dick leaned into his adoptive father's shoulder, and Bruce sighed happily. He caught Talia's gaze from the stairs, held it for a moment, then looked back to the ceiling and closed his eyes. What she thought about it all didn't matter. What the other Leaguers thought about it didn't matter. What mattered was that they were his family, and they were staying right there.

Post-posting A/N: Holy cow! 250 views in 72 hours! Y'all really like this!

Firstly, thanks for all the reads. It really lifts my spirits when I see that I'm not the only one enjoying the craziness that is my stories. Secondly, since you seem to like it so much, what would you think of a semi-sequel? I should've learned my lesson with the last time I tried to take requests, BUUUUT I didn't. And I should also know better, given my spotty posting schedule, BUUUUT I don't. So I'mma go ahead and promise a semi-sequel by December 24th, hope it lives up to expectations, and hide from the angry mobs just in case!

Have a very Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, and whatever else you celebrate!